|
Title: The Lone Gunmen Babysit II. Dinner Summary: The Lone Gunmen argue over dinner while babysitting Mulder and Scully's two-year-old twins. Special cameo appearance by an eclair.
Byers had broken up the fight about a half an hour ago. Now all five people were sitting in the floor of the living room. Alexia and Walter Mulder were staring at each other. Frohike and Langly were giving each other the evil eye, and Byers was staring off in space, replaying his favorite cartoon moments in his mind. All of a sudden, a growl of a hungry stomach was heard. It came from the direction of Walter. "Mr. Bywers, I hungwy!" Byers, trying his best to be nice to the little boy, said to him with that eclair-frosting sweetness in his voice "Okay, Walter." He turned to the other two men in the room. "What do you two delusional egomaniacs want for dinner?" Frohike was first to speak up. "I want Pyromaniac's Pizza! I want to try the new C-4 Cheese Pizza with Atomic anchovies." Byers and Langly both scrunched up their faces in disgust and groaned. "Anchovies? Ewwww...!" Langly wanted a say, too. "Let's go get Paranoia Burger! I want a Deny Everything Dog, and a Skeptic Shake. And then we can go to Pastry Wonderland, and we can get eclairs and jelly doughnuts. Mmmm...jelly doughnuts and eclairs." "Yeah, you could use a few of those, couldn't you, Langly?" Frohike gave Langly a couple of elbows to the chest. "Walter, what do you want to eat?" Byers turned to the brown-haired boy seated next to him. "I want a Blinky Bar!" Walter answered. "Me too!" Alexia chimed in. Byers looked confused. "What's a Blinky Bar??" Alexia turned on the TV. A commercial was on, starring a goofy black bear. He was singing a song, and it went like this:
Blinky Bar, Blinky Bar This repeated a few more times, with Alexia and Walter doing the dance the bear was. Langly reached over and turned the TV off, saving the other two men and himself from insanity. Of course, that wasn't the end of the insanity. "WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Why you turn off Blinky, Langwy?" Walter cried. Alexia likewise was crying. "Yeah, Mr. Langwy, you big Meany!" Alexia then kicked Langly as hard as she could, and struck him somewhere rather sensitive. Langly doubled over in pain and fell to the ground, sobbing. "Poor Langly, poor, poor Langly. Social life destroyed, huh, big boy?" Frohike joked. "Go...to...hell...Doohicke...AHHH!!!" Walter finished him off with a swift kick to the ribs. Now the newly bald man was rolling in the floor, crying, gasping for air and holding his crotch. "High five, sis!" Walter said, high fiving his twin sister. "Way to go, Wallie!" Alexia said with joy. "OK, OK. I better take him to the doctor before he starts going into convulsions, I'll be right back with take-out Paranoia Burger, Pastry Wonderland eclairs, and a box of Blinky Bars." Byers tried to calm Langly down. "YAYYYYYYYY!!!! BLINKYYYYYYY BARRRRRSSSSSSSSS!" Alexia and Walter screamed and jumped up and down. Frohike spoke. "Why don't we all go together and eat at the hospital while we're waiting for Langly?" "Hurry...hell...up...balls...hurt...UGHHH!!!" Langly groaned. "Sounds good, let's go." Byers led the group and aiding Frohike in carrying Langly to the car.
Georgetown Medical Center "Are you sure he'll be fine? I still have a lot of cracks I haven't used on him yet!" Frohike whined. "Oh, yes, he'll be fine, but he has 6 bruised ribs, and he was on the verge on being sterile for the rest of his life. Who could have done all that damage?" the doctor in charge of Langly's care spoke. "Would you believe the two children sitting next to me?" Byers exclaimed, pointing to Alexia and Walter, while munching on an eclair. "Hi, Mr. Doctor Person!" Walter said, chewing on his favorite treat, a Blinky Bar. Likewise was his red-haired sister. "Hi, Docta! What's your name?" "My name is Doctor Myers, but you two can call me Dr. Mickey." Byers thought to himself. "Oh, no. That doctor just asked to go insane." The cue of Mickey brought Alexia and Walter up to dance around the doctor while singing "M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse...!"
10 minutes later Doctor Myers had just been dragged off to the psychiatric ward. 2, Mulder Twins, everyone else. All of a sudden, Byers mumbled in panic. "Frohike, get the doctor!" "What doctor? The doctor was just dragged outta here because he had been crying and saying "I want Donald Duck and Goofy, too!" Frohike exclaimed. "Then get the goddamn nurse!" Byers got out, now he was swelling up and hives were breaking out. "Whoa! What happened?" Frohike said. "Allergy, I guess," Byers mumbled, remaining as calm as possible. "Okay, just hold on buddy!" Frohike ran to get the nurse. "Coo! Bywers got all puffy!" Alexia said, munching on her 3rd Blinky Bar. Walter didn't say anything, he just giggled. 10 minutes later, waiting room. "It appears he had an allergic reaction to something. What has he eaten in the past half-hour?" the doctor said, playing with her hair. "Come to think of it, I don't remember." Frohike sounded let down. "Psst! Fwo!" Alexia whispered. "What, Lexie?" Frohike leaned closer to hear the girl. "Bywers had the puff thingy with Orweo filling in the middle and chocowate on top." "Thanks, Lexie," Frohike whispered. He then turned to the doctor, who was obviously stressed. "He had an eclair about 20 minutes ago." "Well, that would explain it. He had an allergic reaction to an eclair. Why don't you go home and get some sleep? They might be able to come home later tonight. We'll call if they're going to be able to come home." "Okay. Let's go, kids," Frohike grumbled. "Are those your kids, Mr. ...?" "Frohike. No, we're babysitting." "They better be paying you a lot for this!"
6:30 Frohike sighed. He was stuck at home with no one but the Mulder twins to keep him company, and they had had about 10 Blinky bars a piece and were literally bouncing off the walls. "WHHHHHHHHHHEEEE!! This is fun!!" Walter said, running into the wall. "So, kids, what do you to want to do?" Frohike sighed. The End Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who gave feedback for part 1: Tiffany, FCX, Allison, Isanah, Heather, Tiffer, Isobel, Obi: You're the reasons I wrote part 2. If I have forgotten anybody, blame my fritzy long-term memory. And a thank you to my beta reader, Shaina, for beta reading and for inventing the Blinky Bar jingle.
|