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Title: The Lone Gunmen Babysit Summary: The Lone Gunmen babysit the twins of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully Author's Notes: I don't have much to say, except I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope everyone else has a fun time reading it. Feedback: Feedback and E-mail sugar packets are much needed to keep me writing.
"Are you sure you can do this, guys?" Fox Mulder stood in the doorway of his friends' apartment with his wife, Dana Scully-Mulder, and their two-year-old twins, Alexia and Walter. "Yes, they can be a real hassle sometimes," Dana added. The friends, of course, were Byers, Frohike, and Langly, the Lone Gunmen. "Don't worry, Fox. We can handle it," they said. "Anything for Dana," Frohike added. Mulder, who now liked being called Fox instead of Mulder, muttered under his breath "You asked for it, bastard." Frohike, who didn't quite hear what he said, asked him "What'd you say?" Langly answered for Fox. "He said, 'Who asked for it faster?' doohickey!" With that, Frohike 'lost his balance', pushing Langly into a pile of boxes in the corner. "Oops. Sorry, Hippie." Under the boxes and the wind knocked out of him, Langly could only utter a muffled groan. "Well, I think we should be leaving. We have to go do ummm...paperwork in the office," Mulder said. Fox spoke to his young daughter and son. "Okay, Day and Daddy are leaving now, so say hello to Mr. Byers, Frohike and Langly." The little girl looked at Byers. "Hewwo, Mister Fwohike, Bywers, and Langwy." They all started cracking up. "No, Lexie," Scully said in between giggles. "THAT's Mr. Byers, and that's Mr. Frohike, and over there," she pointed toward Langly "is Langly." The curious Walter, looking much like his father, spoke up. "Langwy, are you a boy or a girl?" he asked, noting the now freaking out Langly's long blond hair. "He gotcha that time, Hippie!" Frohike barely got out, because he was racked with laughter. "We better get out of here, before we cause too much trouble. Bye guys, bye-bye Walter, bye, Lexie!" Scully yelled out before the door slammed behind them. "Okay, guys-" Byers said. "But Mr. Bywers, I'm a girl!" Lexie whined, much like her father did. "Okay, kids. Do you like cartoons?" Byers, who is really in touch with his inner child, asked the two obviously bored kids. Their eyes lit up like bright suns. "We love cartoons!" Byers, who had a DVD drive on his modified Modesketron (he made the modifications himself) computer. It just so happens that John Fitzgerald Byers records hours and hours of cartoons on his DVD's "Let's go to Mr. Langly's room and watch it, because I have some work to do, OK?" "OK, Mr. Bywers." Byers led the Mulder twins toward Langly's computer. On the way, they passed by Frohike's room. Walter, noting the pictures of his mother on Frohike's bedside table. Walter had to ask someone about it. "Mr. Bywers, why are there pictures of Day on that table?" Byers, a little embarrassed for not noticing it before, answered the young man. "Mr. Frohike is...well he likes your mother very much." Walter still didn't quite comprehend. "Does he wove mommy?" Byers refused to answer that question. They made it to Langly's room in silence. "Langly, they're gonna watch my cartoon DVD on your computer, okay?" "Sure. Fine. Whatever," Langly muttered from his bedroom. Byers realized Langly was or had been crying. He snickered to himself, remembering the gender incident. He popped the DVD in the drive and left to work on some evidence Mulder and Scully had left them.
10 minutes later The monitor had a menu on it. The twins heard a husky female voice. "Please choose the continue the cartoon or stop the cartoon options." Alexia, who had a sort of knack for computers, but could not read, clicked on "stop". The screen abruptly went to the desktop. "Ooo...look at the bunnies, Wallie!" "Yeah, they're pwetty." They both noted the Playboy bunny logo wallpaper. From there, they both went clicking through stuff, folders and everything. Langly entered the room when the sound clip started. "OH, MR. PRESIDENT!" a young female, probably in her early 20's screamed out. "Well, I've always been known to be good in the Oval Office, Monica." A middle aged man, from the South, possibly Arkansas, whispered to his obvious bedmate. Now the kids started to press buttons. Alexia queried Langly. "Mr. Langwy, what dis do?" Alexia said as she started to press the "delete" key. "NO, ALEXIA! That's the only record ANYWHERE of Clinton and Monica Lewinsk...EEEEEE!!!!!" Alexia pushed the delete key. "File deleted." The woman's husky voice came through the speakers. In five minutes, Langly was a bald, sobbing wreck banging his head on the wall. Lexie, evidently worried about the man, wanted to know what was the matter. "What's wrong, Mr. Wangly?" Frohike, who heard the commotion from his room, went to see what was the matter. Walter met him in the hallway. His normally bright hazel eyes were clouded by fear of Langly "Make him stop pulling his hair out, Mr. Fwo!" As soon as he walked into Langly's office, he was overcome with laughter. "Awww...what'sa matter, Langwy? Don't want your hair anymore?" "Go to hell, Doohickey." "Shh! There are K-I-D-S around, H-I-P-P-I-E!" Frohike said spelling out kids, so Lexie and Walter wouldn't understand. Langly got up, and promptly started to inflict pain on Frohike. "OW! SHIT! DAMMIT, LANGLY!" Frohike yelled. Byers ran in as soon as he heard Frohike yell. "Look, Mr. Bywers, they wrestling!" Lexie said, her deep blue eyes shining. The End
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