Title: Babysitter Wanted
Author: Alien Girl
Feedback: Fanfic without feedback is like Mulder without Scully. Well, maybe not quite like that, perhaps it's more like Cancer Man without Morleys... Comixgirl@juno.com
Website: www.reocities.com/Area51/Underworld/1113
Rating: PG, maybe G
Classification, V, H
Keywords: MSM, H, Kids
Spoilers: Hey, I'm refraining from reading any spoilers for "Closure"!! Gimmie some credit here!!! :P
Archive: All places including the norm welcome to do so! Just tell me first!!
Disclaimer: Moose and Squirrel do not belong to me. Only in my world they're not a moose and a squirrel, they're a fox and a cat! (Never mind...) But all of our fabulous MulderAndScullyKids, Mel, Ethan, Kat n' Kyle belong to Riva and me, Troi belongs to Riva (and I guess Kian does too) and Moby belongs to me. :) Alyssa Caitren is mentioned, and she's Riva's. So I guess there's more characters that ARE ours then there are that aren't! How nice!

Summary: Mulder and Scully try to find a babysitter.

Author's Notes: Alright. So Riva comes up and she's like, "write something." And I'm like, "Write what?" And she's like, "Write a really cute Mulder-Scully Married scene." So I'm like, "Oookay..." And I did, and this is it! VERY short and pointless, but funny nonetheless. This story exists in the "Accumulation"/"Around the World in Twelve Months"

universe, but you don't need to read any of those things to read this. It would be NICE and helpful if you did, but it's not mandatory. :)


"You can't ? Oh...oh alright, that's fine. Thanks anyway."

Mulder hung up the phone with a frustrated click, then proceeded to accidentally tread upon a racing car made out of duplo blocks.

Mulder fought the urge to swear as he hopped up and down on one foot with the pain. "Who left these blocks on the floor?!" Mulder cried aloud.

"Katwan did!" Kyle pointed an accusing finger at his twin sister.

"No, Kywel did!" Kat argued back, scrunching her face into a scowl. "He bwilded it!"

Mulder fumed and put his foot back down tenderly. At that moment, Scully walked into the kitchen. She took one look at the scattered blocks, the frowning twins and Mulder's desperate expression and knew that things weren't going well. "I take it that Samantha couldn't babysit."

Mulder rolled his eyes. "Troi's gone for the evening and left Kian with us. Your mom is visiting someone in Conneticut. I even called the Lone Gunmen, and they're busy working on something for our case and they have to have it done by tonight. So that leaves practically no one to babysit!"

"Mo-om!!" Eight-year-old Mel came shuffling into the kitchen, looking as if the only problems in the world were her own. "You said we were going to have spaghetti tonight! Why are you ordering pizza?!"

"Because we don't have time to fix spaghetti, Mel..."

"But we had pizza two nights ago!" Mel whined again.

"Every other kid in this country doesn't mind having pizza several nights in a row...," Scully mumbled to herself.

Mulder thought for a moment, picked up the phone and dialed another number. Perhaps Alyssa Caitren was free tonight, the kids always liked her. At that moment, Moby the pomeranean ran by with Ethan's slobbery stuffed dinosaur dangling in his mouth. Ethan was in hot pursuit, giggling and grabbing at Moby's frizzy tail. Moby trotted over the back of Scully's dress, leaving a trail of muddy footprints on the silk.

"Nooooo!!!" Scully wailed aloud at the brown stains on the back of her dress. "I'm gonna kill that dog!!"

Kat began to cry. "Mommie's gonga kiwl Mobeeee!!" She wailed in terror.

Scully sighed and picked up the bawling Kat. "Oh, baby, it's okay... Mommy's not going to kill Moby, okay? Mommy's just mad because she has to find a new dress now and we have to be at our place in 20 minutes and she's about to lose her patience..."

"Daddy, do Mr. Potato Head!" Ethan tugged on Mulder's pant leg. Mulder stared down at Ethan despairingly.

"Ethan, Daddy's trying to make a phone call..."

"Do Mr. Potato Head! Do Mr. Potato Head!" Ethan persisted, bouncing on his heels.

Mulder could hear Alyssa's phone ringing. He puffed out his cheeks and crossed his eyes.

Ethan giggled, a rare smile spreading across his face. "Do Mr. Potato Head again!"

Mulder was just about ready to crush the phone in his fist. Ethan, for some reason, almost never paid attention to him or Scully much except when he wanted Mulder to do Mr. Potato Head. And Ethan would not be satisfied until Mulder did Mr. Potato Head 20 times non-stop.

The phone continued to ring. Mulder puffed out his cheeks and crossed his eyes again. "Do it again!" Ethan demanded.

Mulder ignored his son's request. "Alyssa's not answering!" he cried to Scully. "Who else is there?!"

"I don't know, you figure it out! I have to go find a new dress, I don't have time to clean this off!" And with that, she hurried back to the bedroom.

Leaving Mulder in a dumping ground of a kitchen with one muddy dog and four whiny, fidgeting, unbearable kids.

"Alright!" Mulder raised his voice loudly so that he grabbed everyone's attention. "Could everyone PLEASE be quiet for two seconds so I can make a phone call?!?!!?"

The kitchen fell completely silent. Mulder sighed with thankfulness and started to flip through an address book. Then Kat began to yell at Kyle at how he was taking all her duplo blocks. Mulder shot his youngest daughter a look.

"It beens twoo sekans!" Kat explained.

Mulder didn't even bother to answer. The noise started up again as Mulder found the number of their neighbor two houses down; they had a teenage daughter that could perhaps babysit.

The phone rang twice. "Hello? Is this Lauren? Hello, this is Mr. Mulder. You know, from a few houses down? Well, my wife and I have to go to a formal dinner close to the Capitol, and we were trying to find a babysitter for the kids tonight, so....would you be willing?"

Mulder pulled away from the phone quickly to stop Mel from turning on the T.V. when he had specifically said no T.V. until after dinner.

Then he brought himself back to the other line. "You can ? Great! You have no idea how much this helps us out....yeah, there's four kids, you know Mel and Ethan, and the twins... Don't worry, I'll pay you whatever you want, ten bucks an hour, whatever! Just thank you so much! Yeah, see you in a little bit."

Mulder hung up the phone with a triumphant flourish and a huge grin. He was just about to do a little victory dance when Kyle smacked him in the knee with a plastic baseball bat. "Babawl!" he gurgled happily.

Mulder groaned and clutched at his knee, certain that the little two-year-old had fractured it. "I like baseball too, Kyle, but you don't need to break my legs over it!"

"Whips 'fore hans," Kyle recited with amazing accuracy.

"No, Kywel, it's hans 'fore wips!!" Kat argued back.

Scully reentered the kitchen, wearing a new black dress. "Do you think this is okay?" She looked to Mulder for approval.

"You look beautiful, Scully," Mulder said, causing her to blush.

"Did you find us a babysitter?"

"I did!" Mulder stated proudly. "I told you I could do it!"

"Although you couldn't say the same for dad's cooking..." Mel commented.

"Mel!" Scully scolded.

Mulder couldn't help but grin. Just then, the doorbell rang, and Scully went to go answer it. Mulder crouched down on his knees. "Come give your dad a hug, okay?"

Mulder was almost completely bowled over as four kids came up and tried to choke him. "Wen you come bake?" Kat asked.

"We'll be back after you're asleep. Mind the babysitter, okay?" He lowered his voice. "And if you're good, I'll let you see the rare Indonesion bettle that carries an extraterrestrial disease that we caught since it's related to our case....."

"I heard that!!!" Scully shouted.

The End!!


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