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Title: When You Get Home
I wish mommy and daddy were here. They aren't. They went away and left me alone. I wish they hadn't done that. I'm scared. I have to live in a place with lots of other kids now. The people are nice, and the toys are fun, I guess, but I miss my home and my things. There is a nice lady. She has pretty red hair, like the lady in my dreams. She looks at me so kindly and when she holds my hand I feel better. Sometimes I watch her as she sits by me and reads or plays with me, and I wish she might be my mommy. I need a mommy. I think she needs a little girl, too. Her eyes are so sad. Like she knows how scared and alone I feel. She understands what it is like to have a hurt in your heart that you can't make better. She seems to love me a lot. I don't know why. She is a stranger, and I am not even supposed to talk to strangers. But she's not a stranger. She gave me a very pretty cross to wear. I like to hold it at night and pretend the Red-Haired Lady is my new mommy. I wish I could tell her. But I'm too shy. The Red-Haired Lady has a friend. He came to see me, too. He made a funny face so I would laugh. I wish he would be my new daddy. But I can't tell him. I'm just too shy. The Red-Haired Lady and the Funny Faces Man are talking. I think they are talking about me, and about where my mommy and daddy went. I can't hear what they are saying. I wonder if they know that I am sick. I wonder if they will not like me any more if they find out. I won't tell them. I got a fever tonight and the Red-Haired Lady and Funny Faces Man took me to the hospital. They both looked so sad. Especially the Red-Haired Lady. I even saw tears in her eyes. I don't want her to cry. I'm sorry I made her sad. She held me tightly in the car, and told the Funny Faces Man to drive faster. Something very scary happened to the lady that tried to poke me in the neck for a test. But it's not the first time it has happened. I wish I wouldn't make people sick. I hope that lady is okay. I look up at the Red-Haired Lady and the Funny Faces Man. Are they going to be angry with me and leave? Will they still let me be their little girl? They do not look angry. Only sad. I'm in a room by myself now and I feel very alone. The Red-Haired Lady said I need to have some tests. "Mommy said 'no more tests'," I tell her. I really do not like tests. She tells me it will be all right and she only wants me to get better. Maybe if I get better she will let me come live with her at her house. If she wants me to have the I had the tests, but they hurt a lot. The Red-Haired Lady made them stop. Now I feel very sleepy. I watch her watch me through the window. She smiles so sadly, and I try to smile back. I am so tired. I can feel my eyes closing. I want to see her one last time before I go to sleep... I'm scared! There is a long, dark hall and a bright light shining at the end. What does it mean? Where am I? I can feel the Red-Haired Lady holding me, laying next to me, but I can't see her. I am trying hard to hear what she is saying... "Mommy's here, Emily. Mommy's here." The Red-Haired Lady is my real mommy! My other mommy told me that I had a real mommy, and I grew inside her before I was born. I'm so glad she's my mommy. I try to hold her hand tighter. Maybe if I hold on tight enough she will come with me into the light. "Emily? Emily, it's okay to go. You will find a life there that can give you all the happiness that was stolen from you in this life. Because all I can give you here is not enough. I love you so much. You are my little miracle, my breath of God. I don't care how you came to be, you are the most precious gift I will ever receive. I will stay right here, my little girl, until you are safely in the hands of God. Say 'hi' to your Grandpa Ahab, and your Aunt Melissa for me, sweetie...when you get home. And I'll see you someday, little one." She whispers so close to me, yet so far away. I think about what she said, then slowly I let go of her hand, and begin to walk into the light. I stop when she speaks again. "...and Emily? Thank you. For making me a mother. I will always love you." I love you, too, Mommy. And I will wait for you, in the happy place. I walk toward the light again. It shines brighter and brighter, and the darkness fades away. Goodbye, Mommy. See you when you get home. The End
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