Summary: A conversation on the road.

Author's Notes: This is nothing new. There are other more talented writers who have tackled the subject of William's adoption. When "William" first aired, I like many others was not just a little bothered by Scully's decision to give William up, but after re-watching it recently, there are hints throughout the episode that reveal she has little choice. I've come to terms with it, so to speak, and this is my attempt at forgiving Scully and Chris Carter.

I know, I know. You're thinking I have too much free time. Well, just remember, you're still reading X-Files fanfic, so obviously I'm not the only one that is still dedicated to the show.

Dust swirled in the wake of the speeding SUV as the hot desert sun glistened in the sky. Mulder's right hand gripped the steering wheel as he squinted into the bright horizon and his left was occupied with the task of transporting salted sunflower seeds into his mouth every so often. Beside him, Scully was silent, her gaze fixed on the never-ending desert scene outside her window, her hands folded in her lap. Mulder glanced over at her, noting her expressionless face and vacant eyes. This was how she looked when there was something on her mind, he knew, something that she didn't wish to share but couldn't help thinking about.

He knew it wasn't the past week's events that plagued her mind. It wasn't his trial, his escape, the secrets that had been revealed to them. It wasn't even the fact that they couldn't go home yet, that they were seemingly destined to travel hot dusty roads forever.

It was the same thing he was thinking about.

Returning his gaze to the road, he crumpled the bag of seeds closed and tossed it on the seat behind him. Clearing his throat, he decided now was as good a time as any to bring up the object of their silent thoughts.

"Dana," he began, using her given name, rather than what he normally called her. He'd been making an effort to refrain from calling her Scully, instead using her first name. Though, old habits die hard and he'd used her surname several times without even thinking about it. Thankfully, she was still calling him Mulder, a gesture he appreciated.

At the sound of his voice, her eyes snapped from the window and she glanced over at him as if she'd just wakened from a deep sleep. She seemed almost embarrassed that she'd been quiet and still for so long.

"Guess I kind of blanked out there." She lied. Her mind had been busy the whole time.

Mulder shifted in his seat. There were things he wanted to say, to ask her, yet he wasn't sure how. He chided himself for being uncomfortable about speaking to her, something he'd never had trouble with before. But this was subject sensitive to both of them, and the last thing he wanted to do was make her upset. Still, there were things he had to know...things he had the right to know.

"Listen Dana, we need to talk," he said, not looking at her but keeping his eyes focused on the road. He felt her glance over at him curiously before she too looked out the windshield.

"What about?" She queried.

"William." Was his simple reply.

He felt her tense slightly in her seat at the name of her son. Their son.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." He continued, his voice genuine and soft. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect him. To protect you both."

"Mulder," she shook her head. "It wasn't your fault. You were doing what you had to do."

"I feel..." He began, stuttering, trying to formulate his thoughts. "I feel like I don't know what happened. Like I don't have the whole picture."

She was silent, not really sure what he wanted her to say.

"I don't blame you for your decision. I know that you wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been the only choice. But, why, Dana?"

"Why?" Her eyes looked worried at his slight tone of anguish.

"Why was it necessary? I've only got pieces. I only know what Skinner told me."

She took a deep breath and nodded slightly. "What did Skinner tell you?"

"That William's life was threatened. That you gave him up to protect him. That you were convinced his survival depended on his separation from us."

Scully's eyes dropped to her hands in her lap, and she nodded again.

"Do you really believe that, Dana?" he asked gently.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Scully ran a hand through her silky hair, wetting her lips slowly before speaking. "Yes, I do. I have to."

Mulder's eyes once again swept over her. Sorrow had crept into her eyes which were glossy and bright. She wasn't looking at him still.

"What happened, Scully?" Her old name slipped easily from his lips, only adding to the effect that he was trying to be more of an investigator at the moment and not so much a concerned father.

"It was hard after you left, Mulder," she said slowly. "Attempts were made on William's life. A man broke into my apartment and tried to smother him with a pillow. A woman kidnapped him, nearly killing John Doggett in the process. A cult led by a man named Josepho placed William in an alien ship because they believed he had been sent to lead in the colonization of the planet. There was some sort of...event, and all the group members were killed. Somehow, we found William, alive."

She closed her eyes at the memory, the vivid image of the bright light filling the sky. She'd been terrified that William was dead, or maybe worse, abducted, taken to fulfill an evil conspiracy. After rubbing her temple as if she had a headache, she continued.

"About a month ago, a man broke into the X-Files office with the intention of stealing files, or so we thought. This man would not tell us who he was. He had obviously suffered from some kind of tests. He had scarring from burns all over his body. This man wanted us to believe that he was you. He wanted us to trust him only to gain access to William. He injected him with what was discovered to be magnetite, claiming that William was the key to alien colonization."

"Jeffrey Spender." Mulder interjected, and Scully nodded.

"By injecting the magnetite into his system, William was 'cured'. He is normal. He is no longer a threat to civilization."

"Then why should we worry?"

Scully's eyes were filling with tears. Mulder was asking the same questions she had struggled with prior to William's adoption. She'd gone back and forth in her mind, trying to convince herself that she could protect her son, even if Mulder wasn't there to help. But her mind was poisoned, haunted by the words of Jeffrey Spender.

**"They used you to create the child...they continue to use you to care for it and raise it"**

William was part of an agenda, right from the beginning.

** "I can protect him."... "And if you can't?"**

She had looked into his horribly scarred face, knowing instinctively that an army couldn't protect William from this fate.

**"It will never be over"**

A tear slid down her cheek, and Scully's brow furrowed. "I couldn't...I couldn't be selfish Mulder. Every part of me wanted to believe that William would be safe with me, that the threats would simply vanish after he was cured." She wiped the irritating tear away. "But it wouldn't have stopped. Things aren't that simple. And I wanted our son to be able to live without fear, without having to look over his shoulder and worry about danger lurking in the shadows as we have had to do. His only chance to be happy, to be safe was with another family."

Mulder had fallen silent, listening intently to her words, sensing her conviction. Part of him still believed that they could have protected William. But he knew she was right. The life they led wasn't suitable for children. Scully had made the ultimate sacrifice of love by letting William go to a better life, a life they would never be able to give him.

A lump had formed in his throat. He stubbornly swallowed it and gazed at the horizon.

"Do you know where he is?"

She shook her head. "No. But I do know some things."

"Like what?"

"I was able to select a couple that I thought would be suitable for the life I wanted William to have. I don't know their names, but I know their story."

"Tell me about them."

"Well, they've been married for fifteen years. They had one son themselves early on in their marriage that died of a rare genetic disease. They were told that any children they might have could very likely carry the disease and suffer the same fate. They've been on adoption lists for over a decade.

"He is a farmer and volunteer firefighter and she is a housewife. They live in a very rural area and they own lots of farmland. They are faithful members of their church and have strong religious convictions. They are upstanding citizens with no prior run-ins with the law, not even a speeding ticket. They have a large extended family, along with a strong church support system."

Scully finished the well-memorized information and took a deep breath. Mulder glanced over at her and she was surprised to see a thin smile on his lips.

"They sound wonderful," he told her, and she could sense he truly believed his words. She found herself able to smile too.

"I could just picture an old farmhouse with a big porch and a swing. And lots of yard to play baseball in or catch lightning bugs. And I could see this couple loving our son and raising him in an honorable way. There was just a peaceful sense about this couple, and I felt like they were the right ones to be his surrogate parents."

The warmth of her words spread over to Mulder, and for the first time, he too had a sense of peace about his son's fate. Somewhere, William was happy. He was safe. He was loved.

"And best of all," Scully continued lightly, "there was no mention in their file about anything concerning alien abductions or conspiracy theories."

Mulder chuckled and reached out his hand. She tenderly slid her own hand into his, and he squeezed it.

"Well, William has interest in the supernatural in his genes."

Scully fell silent for a moment, gazing at Mulder's grasp on her hand, her eyes looking distant again.

"What?" He gently urged.

"Do you think we'll ever see him again?" she whispered.

He squeezed her hand again. "I hope so."

Miles away from the desert roads, Susan Van De Kamp sat on the porch steps of their old farmhouse, watching with happy eyes her husband and new son. A cheery blanket was spread on the green grass of the front lawn, and perched on it was the smiling baby she had so quickly grown to love. Her husband, Jack, was busy entertaining the baby by playing peek-a-boo and occasionally swinging him into the air, causing him to giggle in glee.

She marveled at the sight before her. For fifteen years, they'd had to live with the memory of losing their own son. For eleven years, they'd waited for another, praying each day for God's will in granting them a child.

As she looked down at the smiling boy in her husband's arms, she felt that each day had been worth it.

Her mind recalled once again her baby's mother. She tried to picture her now as she looked at the baby. She knew very little about her other than that she was single and that she felt her son deserved a life better than the one she had to offer. It had been a painful decision for her. Susan's joy was momentarily stilled as she considered that right now, this baby's mother was somewhere desperately missing her son. Susan knew what it was like to lose a child. She knew the empty ache of arms no longer holding a baby. She understood the pain of staring into a vacant crib. She knew this mother would wake up often during the night, thinking she had heard her baby crying, ready to rush to his aid, only to remember that she no longer had a child.

It was an empty, desperate feeling.

Susan whispered a prayer for this mother, knowing that the only source of comfort and healing was in the One Who also knew the pain of losing an only son.

The baby's squeal brought Susan's attention back to the scene at hand. Jack was tossing William gently into the air and catching him with his strong hands. William giggled, his chubby chin shiny with drool. Susan smiled again at her new family.

She felt whole, at peace, renewed.

She prayed that one day, her son's mother would also know this feeling.

The End.

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