Title: In Æternum
Author: Diana NO Fowley
Category: MSR
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: For Memento Mori, Emily, Arcadia and Existence. Sorry folks, I started to write this story about two years ago, so it's very old and it doesn't make much sense to the new episodes. Disclaimer: Well, let's see. I don't own any of the characters mentioned here, and (though it's obvious) I'm not making any money (I swear, Duchovny!).

Summary: An Emily-like child changes both Mulder and Scully's lives. She turns out to be Emily's twin sister, and Scully wants to adopt her, but only married couples can adopt a child...

Note: Adoptions Forever, Inc. is a licensed child-placing adoption agency of Maryland. Here I used it as an orphanage. Mary Jo Lukowski is the actual Associate Director of this agency. I hope this won't make me go to jail.

I want to dedicate this story to my friend Elly for being so wonderful, to my friend Enigma X, for being so great and sharing with me all those hours on the phone, and to my friends Missy, Mulscu and X. Thanks for being my X-sisters and friends. This also goes for little Piper.

Hi, you all! I come to you today to introduce you to my second and brand new fanfic. Since no one read the first one, I don't expect you to read this one. Anyway, if you do... feedback please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

difriendly@yahoo.com

Note: THIS STORY COULD TAKE PLACE ANYTIME BETWEEN ARCADIA AND FIELD TRIP


I hear the ring of the telephone, and I open my eyes. I can barely see the time on the clock: 7:18. Yesterday was a really tiring day. Hunting Mulder's aliens that aren't there isn't an easy job.

I answer the phone. The same voice I hear the last at night is the voice I hear the first in the morning. It's not that I am complaining. I actually love it, it's what makes me feel like living every day.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Get up, it's late!"

"Late? It's 7:19. I returned home at three in the morning. Are you a vampire or what, Mulder?"

"Yeah, a pretty lovely one, don't you think?"

Oh, yes. He's definitely the loveliest.

"What the hell you want me for now Mulder?"

"Oh, c'mon Scully. Don't get mad. I bet you were having nightmares."

"Actually, I was. I dreamed that I was sleeping and some alien woke me up. That was spooky."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Seriously now, I need you to come as soon as you can. I received a really weird e-mail a few minutes ago, and I bet you're gonna be interested."

His voice has changed. He's not kidding any more, so I agree to meet him at his office. I stand up and head to the bathroom. I look at my face in the mirror. Gosh, I don't look good. I have dark circles under my eyes. Four hours of sleeping is not enough for me. I need at least six to feel good. I don't know how Mulder manages to look good every day with so little sleep... Damn, that mole over my lip. Who the hell thought about calling moles "beauty marks"? They should be called ugliness marks. It's not easy to cover it up every morning. I mean, I'm not Cindy Crawford, do I really need one?

I take a hot shower and get dressed. I put on some make up and brush my hair and my teeth.


For some reason that I can't explain, I take a different road to go to the Edgar J. Hoover building this morning.

It's 7:56, so there are lots of children at the streets, heading to the schools.

It's a pretty autumn morning. The sun shines in the sky, and the red trees begin to lose their leaves.

Shit! A car broke down in the middle of the street. It seems like I'll have to wait for a while to continue. I actually don't care. The view is so beautiful that I almost forget Mulder is waiting for me.

My childhood comes to my mind. Easy and quiet. Melissa. How much I miss Missy. Jesus, we used to have so much fun together. And Bill and Charles... Bill, why does he hate Mulder? I guess he's just trying to protect me. And Charlie... I haven't seen him in a long time.

Children and more children play in the garden of a building just in front of me. Adoptions Forever Community Orphanage.

Suddenly, I feel my heart stop and all my senses focus on the same thing: a little girl who looks exactly like Emily, maybe two or three years older. Her big blue eyes are looking at mine, and I can't help what I do next.

I manage to escape the traffic and park the car and run to the little girl.

"Emily?"

I try not to scare her, but I fail. She runs and hides behind a column. I catch my breath again and try to relax. I look for the girl and advice myself to not call her Emily again. I know she's not Emily. She can't be. I find her and I smile.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"My name is Dana. I'm sorry I scared you."

She stares at me. She doesn't look that scared.

"What's your name?"

"Margaret."

"Margaret? What a pretty name! That's my mom's name, you know?"

"Everybody calls me Maggie."

"Well, Maggie... how old are you?"

"Six."

Six, the exact age Emily would be if she were alive. I control myself to not hug her. I don't even touch her. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable.

"Em... Maggie, do you know where the director's office is? Or, somebody I can talk to?"

She points at the entrance behind her.

"She's in there."

Her look is so deep. She's not scared any more. Suddenly, she takes my hand and walks me into the building. I don't know what to do, so I just follow her.

"Are you going to adopt me?"

My heart stops again and a wave of heat runs over my body. This girl read my mind. I haven't thought much about it, but yes, that's exactly what I have in mind.

"Let's see what we can do, okay?

There's a big smile on her face now. Her eyes sparkle as they look at me. There's happiness on her expression. She holds my hand tighter and walks faster.

We get to an office. The door is open and a blond woman is inside, looking at some papers. Maggie lets go of my hand and enters the office.

"Mrs. Lukowski, this lady wants to adopt me. I'm gonna have a mom!

"Good morning" I smile at her.

"Good morning, my name is Mary Jo Lukowski. I'm the Associate Director of Adoptions Forever."

"My name is Dana Scully, I'd like to adopt Margaret."

She tries not to laugh at my sudden petition. I guess I'm a little hurried.

"Well, Ms. Scully, It's not that easy. Please sit down."

I sit down on a black chair and Maggie sits in my lap. I can't explain what this does to me. My body is in shock. At this point, I'm almost sure that this little girl is Emily's twin sister. My daughter. I can see it in her eyes, in her hair, her skin. I can even smell it in her scent, now that she's so close to me.

"Margaret, could you please wait outside for a moment? It's school time and I need to speak to Ms. Scully."

"Ok, Mrs. Lukowski. See you later, Dana."

She stands up and leaves the office closing the door behind her.

"Well Ms. Scully, you should know that our policies are very strict. There are several requirements to adopt a child. First of all, only married couples can adopt. We want a healthy environment for our kids. We want them to have a family. The parents must be between the ages of 25 and 40. They must have a house or apartment of their own and a stable employment income. There are other requirements, like not having dangerous pets. But in your case, Ms. Scully, do you want a child, or do you want Maggie?"

"I want Maggie."

"Then there are other requirements. Maggie is not a regular child. She was born with a strange disease and she needs constant care and tests and medicines."

Her words hit me in the heart. She's just like Emily. In every way. I want to tell Mrs. Lukowski the entire story. I want to tell her they can't forbid me to raise my own child. But I don't. I rather do this by the easy way. No trials, no X-File. I don't want this little girl to die. I wouldn't stand it. Not right now.

"Well, I'm a medical doctor. Dou you know the name of her disease?"

"It's some kind of hemolytic anemia. One case in who knows how many millions. She's been treated periodically, but you must know that doctors say she won't live long. Think about it. If you still want to adopt her, and you and your husband fit the profile, then we'll proceed. Here, take this guide so you can be prepared in case you want to go on."

"I want to go on. Thank you, Mrs. Lukowski."

I stand up and walk to the door. Mrs. Lukowski opens the door for me and I leave her office.

"Have a good day, Ms. Scully."

I'm walking my way out of the building and I hear a tender voice calling my name. It's her. Standing behind me. A sad expression on her face.

"She told you, didn't she? You don't want me anymore. It always happens. I'll never have a family."

There are tears in her eyes, and her reflexion makes me feel sad too.

"Maggie, she did tell me. And you know what? I don't care. I still want you and I'll do whatever I have to do to be your mom, ok?

There is that smile again.

"Really? You mean it?"

"I mean it. I'll come back as soon as I can. Now I have to go to work."

She reaches my face with her hands and lowers it so she can kiss my cheek. That felt good. Pretty damn good.

"See you, Dana."

"See you, Maggie."

I feel like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. So many emotions, all at once. The only person who has ever made me feel close to this is Mulder. That day in the hallway. But that was a whole different kind of feeling.

Damn! Mulder is waiting for me. I take a look at my watch. 8:45. He must be really angry. My phone is turned off. I turn it on; maybe I'll get a call before I reach the office. I can't wait to tell him what had just happened. As I drive, I realize how fast this girl made contact with me.


I finally enter Mulder's office. Instead of the anger expected, there's a worryness expression on his face.

"Are you ok? You were late, and I tried to reach you but you weren't home and your phone was turned off. Is something wrong?"

"No. Something did happen. But it's not wrong at all. At least for me."

"What is it?"

"Mulder, I don't think you're ready to hear this."

"Damn it, Scully. Just say it."

"I've found a child named Margaret. She's Emily's twin sister. Same face, same voice. She's six years old."

"B...."

He's certainly shocked at the news.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"But how...? Are you ok?. Scully, there's something I need you to see."

He sits at his computer and opens his inbox.

"Scully, check this out."

This was the message displayed in the screen. "Dana, she needs your help. Go to her."

The message came from Adoptions Forever Community Orphanage. Same place where I found Maggie.

"Is it the same message you heard in the phone when you found Emily?"

"Yes. That's exactly what Melissa told me. It's her again, Mulder. I'm sure of it."

I know it's unexplainable, it's against my science, but I still believe so.

"I'm tired of this bullshit, Scully! I'm gonna find the son of a bitch who did this to you and I'll kill him."

He's really angry now. Somehow, he reminds me of Bill's protective-brother look. I like the way he takes care of me, but this time disagree with him. I don't want him to protect me. I want him to help me.

"No Mulder, you won't kill anyone this time."

"What? Scully, I won't let them play with you like this."

"Mulder, the damage is already done. Now you can go and waste your time trying to find guilties, or you can help me to adopt this child and make me the happiest person on earth. I have a chance to be with my daughter, Mulder. It's just that there are... requirements."

"What requirements?"

"Her treatment must continue, as well as her tests. I just want to have her with me, I don't care if I'm helping them by doing it."

"God, she's sick too?"

"Yes. Same disease Emily had."

"OK. Let's calm down. What exactly do you want to do?"

"I want to adopt my child. Legally. I want her to live with me. To call me mom. Even though it doesn't last very long."

"And what's the price?"

"I have to quit the X-Files. Maybe even the FBI."

His anger has become sadness. But he understands me, as always.

"OK, Scully. It that's what you want. But I just want you to think it over. It doesn't make me happy at all."

Quitting the X-Files and my partnership with Mulder doesn't make me happy either, but Maggie goes first. My longing for motherhood is big. Bigger than anything else.

"So, what do I have to do to help you?"

Oh God. There's the question. I need to be married to adopt a child, but where the hell do I get a husband? I've thought about Pendrell, but he's dead. Jack, dead. There's no other choice but Mulder. I wonder if he wants to do this favor for me.


"So, what do I have to do to help you?"

I feel a deep emptiness in my soul. I'm going to help my partner and only friend to leave me. Well, I guess that's how friendship works, isn't it? Scully stays still for a moment. Her eyes tell me that she's worried. There's something she doesn't want to tell me.

She gives me a little book.

"Read it. You'll understand what I need from you."

I open it and begin to read. It's a guide for adopting.

Adoptions Forever, Inc.

About Us -mission statement -staff Services to Birth Parents Adoption Program Additional services to adoptive parents AFI Families FAQs for birth parents FAQs for adoptive parents

"Read the FAQs of adoptive parents."

I do as she says. My eyes stop when I read "The applicants should have a combined dating/marital relationship of at least one year". That's it. This is what Scully wants from me. This is what she needs from me. I feel so overwhelmed with joy by the thought of being Scully's husband that I can't help smiling at her.

"Is this what you need? To marry me?"

Scully's face blushes and I feel like heaven came down to meet me.

"Yes Mulder. That's what I need. Big deal, huh?"

There's an expression on her face I've never seen before. Almost like she's begging.

"Scully, I.. I don't know what to say. Though I don't see any wedding ring around...."

I'm just trying to make her feel less uncomfortable.

"Mulder, you're not taking it seriously."

I remember those words clearly. She said the same to me not a long time ago, in the case where we went undercover pretending to be a married couple. But these time things are real. And I do want to take it seriously.

"I am flattered, really. It's not something that I get asked to do every day."

"Mulder, If you're trying to...."

"And I would love to marry you, Scully."

My answer makes it look more like a proposal than a favor.

"Mulder, I...."

"Shhh. You don't have to say anything. I understand the terms and conditions. It's for your child's sake."

"Mulder, I have no words to thank you."

She leans forward and hugs me. Moments from the past come to my mind. The first case, when she came to my room and took her robe off to show me the marks on her back. When I told her they were just mosquito bites, she buried herself in me, and I didn't know what to do, but to put my hand on her shoulder. This time I do know what to do. I put my arms around her body and my head on the top of hers.

"I'm a mother, Mulder."

She pulls away from me and smiles. I smile back. I love to see her this happy. Actually, I love to see her in any shape, but this one is my favorite.

"Scully, have you realized that I'm gonna be the father of this child? I mean, she's going to have may name, isn't she?"

This is not the first time I think about being a father. When I took Scully's ova with me, I was thinking about the future. About having a baby. About Scully having my baby. But it was more impulsive than anything.

"Yes. Margaret Mulder."

"Sounds good, don't you think? And what about Dana Mulder? I wonder how I'll have to call you from now on."

"Scully. No questions left."

"Not in front of the people. I mean, the people form the orphanage."

"In front of them we'll use our first names."

"How about darling?"

"I don't think so, Mulder."


Scully and I got married today. One week after she "proposed". With the help of the Lone Gunmen we made some arrangements so it seems like we've been married for a year. I'm finally going to meet Maggie. We had decided to not see her until we got married, so we can tell her certainly that I'm the one who's gonna be her father.

Scully's hands haven't stayed still. She's far more nervous than me. We enter the building holding hands. I don't know if she's realized this, but I like it. We stop at the entrance of an office. The label of the door reads "Mary Jo Lukowski, LCSW-C. Associate Director". We knock at the door. There's nobody around.

A tall woman opens the door. She must be around 45.

"Good morning, may I help you?"

"Good morning Mrs. Lukowski. I don't know if you remember me. I came a few weeks ago."

"Oh, yes I do."

"This is my husband, Fox Mulder."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Mulder. Mary Jo Lukowski."

"Nice to meet you."

"I'm sorry but...."

Now she's speaking to Scully

"Wasn't your name Scully? Dana Scully?"

"Oh, yes. Sometimes I use my maiden name. Because we work together, it's easier to use my maiden name. To prevent confusions, you know."

"I understand. Please come in and sit down. I assume that you still want to adopt."

"We want Maggie. We've read the guide, and we fit the profile. Everything's in order."

"Well, I'll check this out and if you're right we'll proceed. If everything's fine and there are no delays, you'll have a daughter in about two months."

Scully's eyes open wide. She's happy. And so I am.

"Mrs. Lukowski, could we see Maggie?"

"Sure, I'll call her. She's going to be so happy. You know, she's a great child but every couple that wanted her always quit the idea because of her disease. They always end up taking another child."

She leaves the office and Scully looks at me with those big blue eyes of hers. We both take a deep breath at the same time. Then we laugh together, but a little voice interrupts us.

"Dana!"

Maggie enters the office and literally jumps to Scully's arms.

"I thought I was never going to see you again!"

"I promised you I'd do everything I could, and I did. If Mrs. Lukowski finds everything is in order, you'll come home with us in about two months."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Hey ladies, don't forget about me," I interrupt them.

I smile to the little girl. My future daughter.

"Oh, yes. Maggie, I want you to meet my husband, Fox."

"My father?"

She approaches me and kisses me. She's smiling.

"Yes."

"I have a mom and a dad! I can't believe it!"

She jumps and laughs as she repeats the words "mom and dad" over and over. Scully and I laugh with her. We're the happiest trio in the world.


Today is the Mulders' day. Finally, we have Maggie with us. I'm driving to Margaret Scully's house. Scully wants her mom to meet Maggie before we go home. My "mother in law'"learned about the latest news last week, when we paid her a visit.

Maggie is sitting on Scully's lap. They're singing a Christmas song.

"The first Noël, the angels did say, was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay...."

I'm so glad we finally made it. The last two months have been hell. Lots of papers, meetings, visits... I've had to live in Scully's apartment. Scully quit the X-Files. Now she's doing what she used to do before she was summoned to work at the X-Files, she's a medical doctor and instructor at Quantico Academy. At least she stayed at the FBI. But all the sacrifices are worth it. Scully's happiness is worth anything.

We arrive at Margaret Scully's house.

"Is this grandma's house? It's so pretty. I can't wait to meet her."

We all get out of the car and stand in front of the door. Scully takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. A few seconds later, Margaret opens the door.

"Hi. Hi angel!"

She seems to forget that Scully and I are here, and focuses only in the little girl.

"Hi grandma."

Maggie is noticeably excited. She hands Mrs. Scully the drawing she made for her. It's a house with a garden full of flowers, and a family: mom, dad, child and grandmother.

"I made this for you."

"Thank you. It's so beautiful, is this me?"

"Yes, here are mom and dad, and I'm the little one. See?"

"Hi, mom" Scully has realized that if she doesn't say something, her mother will never notice that we're there.

"Hi Dana, hi Fox!"

She hugs Scully and kisses her eagerly, and then does the same to me. I've always known that Scully's mother wanted me to be more than her daughter's partner, it was almost as if she had chosen me to be her son in law. Well, now all her dreams have come true. And mine too. Almost all of them.

We enter the house and Mrs. Scully shows Maggie the Christmas tree.

"She looks exactly like Melissa" She says with the pain of her loss.

"She looks exactly like Emily too, Scully says in a low voice, so Maggie can't hear."

"Who's Melissa?" Maggie asks.

"Melissa was my sister, your aunt" Scully answers.

"Where is she now?"

"She died a few years ago, honey. I'll show you later some pictures of her, she was just like you when she was a kid."

I notice that Mrs. Scully is fighting back tears.


I park the car outside Scully's apartment. It seems so natural to stop here and enter the house. Maggie is fast asleep in Scully's lap. I tell Scully to not wake her up, so I can take her into the house in my arms.

I hold Maggie and she puts her head on my neck. I can feel her warm breath on my skin. Scully opens the door and we enter the apartment. She goes back to the car to pick up Maggie's suitcase. I go to her room and put her into bed. Scully enters behind me.

"Do you think she'll like her room?"

"I bet she'll love it. We didn't spend two months decorating it for nothing.

And it's true. The last two months, besides the work and the thousands of things that we did for the adoption, we've thought of nothing but our little girl. Everything we've done has been thinking of her.

I help Scully to change Maggie's clothes. She must be really tired, since she's still asleep after all this movement. Now that Maggie's ready, Scully kisses her forehead and looks at me.

"I'm the luckiest woman on earth, Mulder."

I can see the happiness through her eyes. But I don't think she's the luckiest woman on earth at all. Why can't she enjoy motherhood by the easy way, the regular way? I mean making a baby by herself (or by ourselves), giving birth, watching the baby's first smile, first steps, first words and all that little details that make mothers feel like mothers. Why does she have to go through all this pain to have a child? And anyway, Maggie is going to die soon. A bigger pain. I want to kill the son a bitch who did this to her. I want to kill him slowly, to see him beg for mercy.

Scully turns the light off and we leave the room. I don't want to leave. I want to stay here with my family. I have to think of something if I want to stay.

"Well, it's been a great day, isn't it?"

"Yeah, definitely. Scully... do you want me to spend the night here? It's our first night with Maggie, and she'll want to see her whole family in the morning, don't you think?"

"Well, if you want to... I mean, if you don't mind sleeping on the couch again."

"Please, I'm used to sleep on a couch, that's not a problem for me, you know that."

"Yes but... you know what we'll do? You take my room; I'll sleep with Maggie. I don't want to leave her side."

"Whatever you want."


I open my eyes and look at my watch. 3:18 am. I've only slept about four hours but I feel plenty. Scully's bed is so comfortable, that I don't want to sleep on my coach again. Not even in my water bed. Of course, it'd be much better if she were here by my side.

I can't help this feeling that makes me get up and head to Maggie's room. The door is open, as if they were waiting for me. Dear Lord, they're beautiful. Scully's arms are wrapped around Maggie's body, and Maggie's face is buried into Scully's neck. They're both asleep. I would like to join their embrace, but it may not be right. Instead, I lie down on the couch next to the bed and I just stare at my women for I don't know how long...


I feel the heat of the sun coming through the window and I open my eyes. The fist thing I see is my daughter sleeping next to me. I thank God for this miracle. Because it's true, because it wasn't a dream. I stroke her face and her hair. She's so beautiful, and she's mine. I turn around to stand up and I see Mulder on the couch. He's sleeping too, with that beautiful pouty mouth of his.

I close my eyes again. The picture is almost perfect. The only thing that's missing is Mulder in the bed with us. But it's OK anyway. What else can I ask for? I'm in the same room with my daughter and the man I...mean my best friend.

When I open my eyes again, Mulder is already awake. He's staring at us like a father stares at his newborn baby.

"Good morning, Scully."

"Good morning, Mulder. What time is it?"

"7:20."

"Maggie is still asleep. Why don't we make breakfast for her?"

Mulder agrees, and I go to my room first to take a shower and change my clothes. Mulder takes a shower too, and we both make breakfast.

A happy family. That's what we are at this moment. Maggie has been asking about our lives for hours, and we've been doing the same about her life, learning with sadness how much she's suffered because of her tests. Those tests that must continue if I want to keep her with me, and if I don't want those men to try to kill any of us, or close the X-Files again.


It's been almost six months since Maggie came to live with me. I've learned how to live without being officially involved in the X-Files. And I say "officially" because anyway Mulder and I share now lots of things, even the X-Files. I'm still helping him, not as much as I used to, but I do what I can. I don't know how he is allowed to work on this by himself, because an agent is not supposed to work alone. The Bureau only sends him somebody when he asks for it. We are closer now, and now I can admit that I'm in love with him. Maybe I've always been, but I was afraid to accept it. And now I'm sure that he feels something too.

He invited me out tonight. He asked my mom if she could take care of Maggie, and told me that it was going to be a special night. I saw that look in his eyes, the look of the hallway, the look of love. Oh God, I love him so much.


He comes to pick us up at 7, as he said. Maggie goes to open the door. I know she is not coming with us, but I dressed her elegant anyway. She is wearing a blue dress that matches the color of her eyes. She looks like a dream. Mulder is dressed in a black smoking, with a white lace on his neck that makes him look even more handsome. He has a pink rose in his right hand.

I'm wearing a red sleeveless dress. My hair is done in a ponytail, with curls on it. I did it myself, so I'm a little late.

I hide for a moment and watch Mulder handing the rose to Maggie and smiling.

"To my little princess."

"Thanks Daddy!"

"Where's the queen of the palace?"

"She's still getting ready."

Actually, I am ready. I walk towards the living room. Mulder is there, sitting on the couch. When he looks at me his eyes open wide and his mouth moves as if he wanted to say something but he couldn't. He gives me an arrangement of red roses that he was hiding behind him.

"For the queen of the palace."

"Thanks Mulder, you shouldn't have."

"My God Scully, you look so damn beautiful."

I feel how my face blushes and hope he doesn't notice.

"You're not bad yourself," I say, but what I really mean is he looks like the sin itself. Because I'm convinced that sins have to be extremely beautiful so they can attract people the way they do.

We drive Maggie to my mom's house, and then to the restaurant.


We arrive at a restaurant named Le Jardin. It is exactly the kind of restaurant for couples to celebrate their anniversaries or to spend an intimate evening surrounded only by tender music, candlelight and a big beautiful garden behind a wall of transparent glass. The light is kind of yellowish and makes you feel like being in a romantic movie, it's like there is nobody else here, just Mulder and I.

It's been a while since we got here. We've been talking about the X-Files, Maggie, Skinner, my parents, his parents... I think we even mentioned some cartoons Maggie likes to watch. Though dinner is delicious and expensive -lobster- I am not focusing on it, so I'm not enjoying it. I'm just eating without really tasting. What I am tasting and really enjoying is Mulder. We don't have much time to share moments like this, just the two of us.

God, I can't help feeling this nervous. My hands are shaking. It's almost as if the happiness in my life were too much. I have my beautiful little girl and now I'm in a romantic restaurant with the man I love.

"Are you cold Scully?"

"No, no... I just, uh, well, uh, yeah, I think I am a little cold."

Damn, why can't I control myself?

"Maybe I'm wearing the wrong dress for this evening."

What I mean is the weather is cold and I should be wearing something warmer. But Mulder doesn't take it that way.

"Oh no, Scully. Believe me, you're wearing the right one. You look so beautiful it hurts."

I'm afraid to ask where it hurts. Mulder is saying so much with so little words. If I'm getting the message, he's trying to say something important tonight.

We remain silent for a moment. Here's when I realize the song that is being played.

(I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you do tonight; I've never seen you shine so bright...)

Mulder's listening too as he looks at my eyes.

(...Lady in red, is dancing with me...)

"Scully, there's something I need to tell you."

"Yes Mulder?"

(...there's nobody here, just you and me...)

He pulls his chair next to me. Now my whole body is shaking. I can see I'm not the only one, Mulder is quite nervous too.

"Scully... um... I don't know how to say this. I want you to listen to me. Please don't take conclusions before I'm done. What I'm about to tell you is going to change our lives forever. I... I was debating whether to tell you or not because I'm afraid of what you might say. But I just couldn't take it anymore by myself. And since you're involved, I think the fair thing to do is to share it with you."

"What is it, Mulder?, you're scaring me."

(...I've hardly known this beauty by my side... I'll never forget the way you look tonight)

"Scully... when I first met you I thought I wasn't going to like you. I took early conclusions when I read your work. You seemed so intelligent and centered that I was afraid to look foolish next to you. That's the reason why I was so cold from the beginning. I thought if I could show you I was in charge, you would respect me. And I would feel better. But from the first case, you showed me you respected me nevermind how irrational my behavior was. You showed me there was no need to hide the real me from you. I didn't understand it right away. I thought you were the one wearing a mask. But it didn't take long for me to find out that you were... that you are the most transparent person I've ever known. And it didn't take long for me to fall in love with you. Not exactly as a man falls in love with a woman, but as a human being falls in love with another human being. And I found out that you had fallen in love with me too. When you lied and broke your integrity for me, and saved my life who knows how many times, and risked you job, your career and your life for me, I knew it. That's the reason I chose to save you instead of my sister, or what I believed to be my sister. She was taken away from me over twenty years ago, and before I met you I thought she was my only reason to live, then you came to my life, and I realized that if I'd found my sister once, I would find her again. But I wouldn't be able to find you again. That I was really lucky to have you around, and I wasn't allowed to lose you. Because if I lost you, I'd lose myself. I realized that I needed you as much as the air I breathe. That if I lost you, I would be losing the very essence of myself, 'cause you've become a part of me. Perhaps the most important part."

He makes a pause to clear his throat. He is speaking as if his words were written, and now he is holding my hand. I don't know what to say. My eyes are filling with tears.

"But this last months, Scully, I've discovered that my love for you is not the kind of love it used to be. Now is in other level. Now is in all levels. I've learned that I love you as a woman, as a friend, as the mother of my child, and every way in between. And to be honest, I've loved you this way even before Maggie came to our lives. It's just that I hadn't had the courage to accept it. Because I was afraid of losing you. If anything went wrong, maybe we would have taken separate roads, and it would have been the end of our partnership and our friendship. Now I am still afraid, but my love is so big that I just have to tell you the truth. You mean so much to me, Scully. You mean everything to me."

Now I am sobbing like a child, I am at a loss for words, my heart is beating faster and faster as his hand holds mine tighter.

"What I mean with all this is... would you be my wife, Scully? Would you really be my wife?"

"Mulder, I...."

He puts his index finger in my mouth so tenderly that it seems like a caress.

"Listen Scully. I don't want you to give me an answer now. Please, I want you to think about it. Think that I love you more than anyone, that I'll do my best to make you happy."

His deep green eyes are focused on me. They're a bit wet, but I am the one who's crying now. He wipes a tear from my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Mulder, what I was trying to tell you when you shed me, is that I love you too. I've loved you for a long time, but I just wasn't sure you felt the same way about me. Now I'm sure. And, Mulder... I would adore to be *really* your wife."

I lean forward to kiss his lips. They're so warm and soft. I could die right here. He takes my face in his strong, manly hands. Then opens his mouth and his tongue finds its way through my mouth. My goodness, this is far better than I could have ever imagined. It's like being in other dimension. As a small child, I always wondered how it would be like to be lying on a cloud, then when rationalism invaded me and I learned the composition of the clouds, I just forgot about that silly thought. Now it comes to me again, only this time I have the answer. If clouds were like I used to imagine them as a child, they would be like Mulder's lips... soft... warm... wet... heaven.

We break the kiss to stare at each other. His eyes are telling me he loves me as much as I do. Then he puts his arms around my body and holds me tight. We're sitting, so this would seem an uncomfortable position, but it's okay. It's more than okay. It's glorious.

"I think I should ask for the bill" He says, like suddenly remembering that we're at a restaurant. Then he smiles and kisses me softly.


We haven't spoken much since we got into the car. Now we'll go to pick up Maggie and go to sleep. Gee, I don't know if I would be able to sleep after this evening.

Wait a minute, this is not the road to my mom's house... where are we?. we're heading to my apartment! Mulder forgot about Maggie.

"Mulder, we should go to pick up Maggie first, remember?"

"No we don't. I spoke to your mother. Maggie's spending the night with her."

"What? When did you do that?"

"Last week, on the phone, from my apartment."

"This means she knew about your plans since last week?"

"Yes. By the way, she seemed to be so happy about it."

"I think mom has always wanted this to happen."

Suddenly, his expression changes.

"Listen Scully, I'm not expecting anything to happen today, you understand? If Maggie stays at your mom's tonight it's because I want to be alone with you, but not exactly... you know what I mean. I want us to have some space to speak and... you know, speak and... be alone. Damnit Scully, I'm not planning anything, I promise."

"I believe you, Mulder."

I can't help feeling a little disappointed about that. Even though I'm afraid of sex since I haven't done it for a long, long time, I think with Mulder I should not be afraid. I long for him.


When we reach my apartment it's already 10:30. I enter and turn the lights on. Mulder is behind me. He grabs me by the waist and I turn to face him. His breath is warm, his eyes full of love stare at me in worship. He pulls me closer and rests his head on top of mine.

"I love you." he whispers.

"And I love you.."

He won't even try tonight, I'm damn sure of it. His respect is so big, that he'll be a gentleman all night long. Unless... I start kissing him, first gently, then passionately. He can't believe what I'm doing... I take his jacket off and start undoing his tie. His hands move rubbing my back up and down, each movement more sensual. I find myself full of desire. God, it's been so long. I want him. I've been longing for him for years. I won't waste our first night alone since Maggie came.

His shirt is lying on the floor now, as I explore his bare chest, his back... His skin is soft and warm, little drops of sweat form in his belly, making his body even sexier. Suddenly he stops and faces me.

"Are you sure?"

God, I love this man. He's trying to control himself so hard just to be sure that I won't regret anything.

"Pretty damn sure, Mulder. Come on."

I take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. No need to close the door, so as soon as we enter we start kissing again. His hand reaches the zipper of my dress and starts lowering it slowly with one hand, while the other explores my bare back. When he's done, he strips the dress off me slowly, touching gently my shoulders, my arms, my thighs, my calves, my feet.

Now I'm standing next to him, wearing only my red underwear, something I never thought I'd use.

"God, you're beautiful."

"Mulder, you're embarrassing me."

He's staring at me almost like he's trying to memorize every part of my body.

"No, I... I mean it. I've seen you more naked than this before, but saving your life was priority at that moment. I didn't have the opportunity to admire you, to realize the Helen of Troya that I have.

"Mulder, you don't "have" me."

I'm just teasing him.

"Well, not yet...."

He kisses me again, and reaches the back of my bra. With a fast movement he unfastens it and takes it off. I feel my nipples harden as he softly rubs his fingers against them. I can't wait any longer. As he lowers himself to kiss and lick my breasts I arch my back in utter pleasure.

"Mul-der!" The word comes out in sharp moans.

"Yess?"

"I need... bed" I finally say hoping he understands the words that come from my mouth.

Apparently he does, for he takes my hand and guides me to the bed. He's lying on top of me, being careful to not put all of his weight over my body. I manage to unbutton and unzip his pants, sliding them down his hips until he's only wearing his boxers. I have undressed him before, but never with the intentions I have now.

He kisses my neck, my breasts, my stomach, my belly... till he reaches the elastic waistband of my panties. He slowly starts taking them off me, kissing my hip and my thigh as he does it.

Waves of pleasure pass through my body as he touches me between my legs. God, this is exactly what I need in this very moment.

"Mmhhh, Agent Scully, did I make you this wet?"

Yessss, you did!" I want to answer, but I can only arch my back and moan as he slides a finger inside of me.

I never thought making love would be this great. I have made love before, but never like this. Not even in my dreams would I have imagined this utter and absolute pleasure. I assume this is what happens when you really, truly love somebody.

We make love countless times through the night. When the sun starts to come out, I fall asleep in his arms.

God, we love each other, we really do.


My daughter is dying and I am powerless. I feel her little body weakening and I wish I was able to give her the strength to hold on.

Even though I knew this was going to happen, I am not at all prepared for it. Can a mother really be "prepared" for her child's death? I don't think so. And this is the second time. It's almost unbearable. Tears roll in my cheeks, I just can't help it.

Maggie opens her eyes and gazes at my wet face.

"Don't be afraid, mommy. I'm not afraid anymore."

I look at her pale face and her now darkened blue eyes tell me that she's lying to try to make me feel better.

"What am I supposed to do without you?"

She closes her eyes.

"Live... Be happy with daddy. Have a baby, I've always wanted a baby brother."

How do I explain to this girl that her mother was left barren, that I was part of the same experiment that gave her life, that she was my last hope?

"Promise me mommy, that you'll give me a baby brother."

"I promise, honey."

"Not a baby sister, I want a brother."

"Why not a sister?" I ask, confused.

"Because she'll remind you of me. I don't want you to suffer anymore. With a boy it'll be different, because he'll remind you of dad, and that will make you smile."

I hug her and kiss her forehead.


I drive to the hospital as fast as I can. Traffic is very heavy, so I've been yelling to everybody. I hope everything's okay, I hope my girl is okay, I hope Scully is okay.

Why didn't I realize that my cell phone was turned off? Damn it, my daughter is sick, for Christ's sake, I should always have it on. When Skinner told me I almost fainted. And I don't know how bad she is, since I couldn't hear it from Scully herself. He just said she had a crisis and she was at the hospital.

Finally here. I park my car at the entrance, I know it's forbidden to park here, but with my parking permits and my government-exempt sticker it won't be a problem.

I run inside the building and go to the emergency room. I ask for Margaret Mulder, and the nurse tells me that she's been taken to ICU, room 316. My heart beats faster and faster as I walk and look at the numbers on the rooms: 310, 312, 314... until I reach room 316.

The picture is heartbreaking. Scully is sitting on the edge of the bed, crying, stroking Maggie's hair, singing softly one of Maggie's favorite songs.

"Come, stop your crying it will be all right Just take my hand, hold it tight I will protect you from all around you I will be here, don't you cry."

Maggie's head rests in Scully's lap, she's extremely pale, tubes come out of her nose and a monitor registers what seems to be a very weak heartbeat.

Scully keeps singing. I realize suddenly how much we've changed since Maggie came to our lives. We've watched Tarzan about a hundred times. Of course, we now know the lyrics of the songs, and even the dialogues of the movie. Maggie has introduced us to a whole new world of fantasy and games that we both thought we'd left behind us. She thought us that simple things are the things that matter in life, and sometimes it's good to just let the world outside and enjoy those things.

"For one so small, you seem so strong My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm This bond between us can't be broken I will be here, don't you cry."

Scully looks at me and her eyes tell me that she's devastated, that she's unsure of what to do, what to think. It's too much for her. And for me.

I knew this was going to happen, and even though I prepared myself for this moment, I myself, am devastated too. The loss of a child is the most terrible pain a father can experience. And I bet is even worse for a mother. For my Scully. Lord, what can I do to not let this happen?

I walk to them and touch Maggie's arm. She's cold. Like she were already dead. I look again at the monitor just to make sure she's not. Then I put and arm in Scully's back, pulling her close so she can cry in my shoulder. She sobs like a child, and all I can do is hold her tight.

I start to cry too. We cry for what seems like hours, clinging to each other, with our little girl between us. A voice interrupts us... it is Maggie, now awake, who's calling for me.

"You came, daddy."

"I'm here honey, I'm here with you."

"Dad, I won't see you again."

"No, Maggie, don't talk like that. We will see each other, we will."

She can barely open her eyes, and the words come out of her mouth with extreme effort.

"I love you dad."

"And I love you... hey, piglet, don't sleep. Not yet. I... have to thank you, for... bringing so much happiness to my life... to our lives."

A shadow of a smile shows in her face.

"You know?. you're the best... just the best thing that's ever happened to us. The best and most wonderful thing."

"And you both are the best thing... that...has happened...to me."

Her breathing is getting faster as she speaks.

"Sshhh, you have to rest now."

Her eyes close and the monitor starts beeping loudly. She's gone.


It's been a year since we buried Maggie. The most difficult year of my life. I thank God for bringing her to my life. I don't regret it. Because she also gave me the most wonderful year of my life. And I thank God that I have Mulder by my side. Maggie's death has made us be closer to each other, and now we try to enjoy life more than we used to, but sometimes we just can't stand it and cry for hours, missing our daughter.

But these last weeks have been different. The pain is fading, leaving room for hope. Last month I learned strange and miraculous news. I am pregnant. I have no idea of how it happened, but that has brought nothing but joy to our lives. We are finally redecorating Maggie's room, now in blue, because even though it's too early yet, we're both pretty sure that it's a boy. His name will be William, after both my father and Mulder's. And because it's Mulder's middle name too.


Our son is precious. He's got Scully's hair. Actually, he's almost bald for now, but I can see a red shadow growing. He's also got Scully's eyes. Just like Maggie's. And my nose. Yes ladies and gentlemen, my nose. He'll have great personality, I assume. His name is William Fox Mulder. I complained, but Scully said she just had to name him Fox. Anyway, it's just his middle name, isn't it? I hope he won't have to use it. Scully and I are the happiest couple in the entire world.

--THE END-of the beginning.


Well my friends, let me know what you think, please. difriendly@yahoo.com

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