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Title: One So Small Summary: This is a companion piece to Rah's How it Begins. You don't need to read that story before you read this one, but you should. Really. http://www.twinparadox.org Schmoop warning. Proceed at your own risk. He is bright and beautiful and she loves this stage the best - the tiny newborn, both fragile and resilient in her arms. She loves all of her grandchildren, but this one is special. Special because he is Dana's. Special because he's a miracle that nobody thought could ever happen. And yet, here he is, perfect in every way. A dimpled arm reflexively rises into the air, hand grasping without purpose and she smiles, cooing at the baby and rocking him gently from side to side. He bears the unmistakable Scully coloring. Seated next to her, Dana smiles down at the tiny bundle with a beatific expression of peace and love, something that she's longed to witness in all of Dana's recent years of pain and sorrow. How much joy comes from one so new, so small. Fox stands sentry behind Dana, silent but radiating wonder as he takes in the image of grandmother, mother and son. She has him to thank for the safety of Dana and William, she knows. Whatever situations have arisen out of Dana's work with Fox, she knows the man cares deeply for her daughter. There are things she doesn't understand. Questions she would like to ask, but she knows she would not receive an adequate answer, and therefore she has learned not to ask. Questions like why Dana ran away to Georgia to have this child outside of a hospital, and who would want to harm either of them. Fox is William's father, that much she does understand. If the men's clothing hanging in the open closet and the shaving equipment in the bathroom were not enough of an indication that they are now living together as a family, the strong nose and squared jaw the baby shares with his father leave no doubt in her mind how this child was conceived. She recognizes the look on the new father's face, the awe in the faces of both parents as they try to comprehend the magnitude of what they have created. She remembers. William releases a thin wail, accompanied by a small fluttering sensation against her hand on his bottom. His face contorts, with another flutter below, and she smiles. "There, that's a good boy!" she coos. "I think somebody needs his diaper changed." She rises from the sofa with her grandson, her world narrowed to that tiny being in her arms, but Dana stops her with a gentle hand on her back. "Let Mulder do that, Mom, he needs the practice." "Oh..." she hesitates, then smiles tenuously, tamping down her slight disappointment. She'd like nothing more than to hold this child forever. Dana's son. Her grandson. "Of course." She hands the baby over to his father, who offers her a brief smile before his attention focuses solely on the child. They have a way of doing that - of drawing you into their brand new existence to where nothing else seems important. Fox is gentle with the child, comfortable. Her eyes follow William as he is carried into the bedroom, accompanied by Dana, who will no doubt be enlightening Fox to the finer points of diaper changing. She trails behind them as far as the doorway of the bedroom, but does not enter. There is a feeling of sanctity to the room that gives her pause - this is Dana's private space. She has been in here before, but with Fox now living here the dynamic has changed. This is *their* bedroom, *their* private space. She does not wish to intrude, so she merely watches from a distance. Dana stands at his side, coaching Fox softly as snaps are undone and velcro tabs released. A swell of gratitude rises in her chest once again for her daughter's newly acquired contentment. She now has her own family, accustomed to hardship but built on adoration, and for this she is more thankful than she can express. Her situation is different now, but she, too, had this at one time in her life. To see Dana like this here, now, is the answer to her oldest, most frequent prayer. Now she will pray a new prayer, that they may have this for as long as possible. Across the room, Fox jumps while Dana laughs softly. She's always loved Dana's laugh. "You didn't remember to keep him covered, Mulder." From two sons of her own, she remembers that particular fact about diapering an infant boy. "Did you see that? Perfect aim!" Fox replies, one eye closed as Dana pulls another baby wipe out of the dispenser. With a mischievous grin, he leans down toward her. "Com'ere, Scully," he says playfully, moving in for a kiss, while she tries to pull away, chuckling. "Mulder!" she laughs, pushing against his chest to hold him at bay. "I've already been initiated, thank you." With her other hand, she shoves a fresh wipe into his face and he straightens, taking the thin towelette and cleansing his face thoroughly. "Did you see that, little guy?" Fox asks the baby, removing the soiled diaper and replacing it with a clean one, all the while making sure to keep him covered. "Your mother knew all along." William gurgles as if he'd understood, and kicks his tiny legs. Dana leans into Fox, pressing her lips against his neck, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder. "Let's get you buttoned up," daddy says softly, his voice raw with emotion. If she ever held a doubt about this child's future, she realizes that so many of her long-standing fears are relieved. This child has both a mother and a father in his life. Dana has a partner and a mate, and while she'd still like to see her daughter wed in front of priest and family, she would not be surprised to learn that the two of them had already exchanged vows privately. It's one more thing she would like to understand, but knows not to ask. Dana is strong in her faith, but stronger in her love for this man. It is enough, for now. Still, somewhere in the back of her mind she longs for a ceremony. She's had to learn to let her daughter make her own decisions. This beautiful, vibrant young woman was once her baby, as small and as helpless as William is now. And while she misses the baby and the inquisitive child she raised, she loves the poised, independent woman she has become as much now as she did when she cradled her protectively in her arms. Perhaps even more, because of everything she's witnessed in Dana's thirty-seven years of life. All this, from one who was once so small. Dana turns and looks over her shoulder, searching for her mother. When their eyes meet her face brightens, widening into a broad smile. "Mom..." she reaches out her hand, and her mother steps forward to take it, eyes brimming with blissful tears. Fin beduini@justduckies.org :V (quack!) Love to the duckies.
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