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Title: Finding The Lost: Roses Summary: Possibilities for Season Nine. **Please Enjoy** Basement Office: 2:14PM She inhaled slowly. She hadn't even touched a cigarette since she was twenty three and she knew she shouldn't be having one now... but, that was the only thing she could think of to do. She missed her child... she missed Mulder. And, all she was supposed to do was wait for them to return? Before, she hadn't thought she had a problem with that... but now it had been too long. Waiting wasn't enough anymore... she needed them to come back to her. She wondered if they ever would. Agent Reyes sat on the other side of the room, patiently reading through old case files, occasionally letting out a soft sigh. She turned towards Scully once the toxic odor reached her. It was beckoning her, calling her. Scully didn't realize until she was engulfed in Monica's shadow, standing above her. "Could I... well, no I shouldn't," she said, staring in wonder at the cigarette sticking clumsily out of Scully's mouth. "You want one? You're entitled to your habits." Scully reached into the bottom desk drawer and pulled out a package of Marlboros. "No, you're a doctor. You said you thought I should quit, just the other day. I didn't know you smoked, Dana." She sat in the chair across from her newly assigned partner. Scully had never known there to be three agents working on the X-Files at the same time. It was almost comforting... but she would have given anything for Mulder to be sitting across from her instead. "I don't smoke, usually. I just thought it would take my mind off... well, you know." Scully turned her eyes sadly to the floor and closed them. She tried to picture her son's face... but it had been too long. She then opened her eyes to allow the tears to fall to the floor. She didn't care that Monica saw her like this. Anyone whose heart was broken as badly as hers was wouldn't care anymore. "Dana, you know how to get in touch with them. Why don't you call him, just for a minute. You can ask him how William is... so you can get to sleep at night." She suggested kindly. "I don't know. I couldn't ever take that risk, I guess." She would have continued with her usual complaints: Why did this have to happen? When will they come back? But, she figured everyone had heard enough, and no one could answer those questions... not even her. Monica reached across the desk and silently picked up the phone. "What are you doing?" Scully demanded. "Calling Agent Doggett. He'll take you home. You look tired." She responded. "I'm not going home, Agent Reyes. I'm fine." She stood and walked over to the file cabinet. Pulling open the second drawer, she flipped through files until her fingers found a yellow folder labeled "Scully, William D." "Yes, Agent Doggett, please... Hi John, it's Monica... You aren't busy? Could you take Agent Scully to her Apartment? She's... yeah... yeah. Smoking a cigarette. Yeah, I know. Okay... bye," She hung up and joined Scully by the cabinet. "He is the most beautiful kid I've ever seen. And, not just because he's mine. I've seen some people's kids in magazines and commercials... but, Will... he's so..." She could feel her bottom lip begin to quiver. "John said he could meet you upstairs in ten minutes. You have to stop putting yourself through this everyday, Dana. He'll come back... he said he would. You trust him, don't you?" She placed her hand on Scully's shoulder trying to provide some sort of comfort. But, she knew... Scully would never be comfortable until she was safe, in Mulder's arms, with her son in her own. "I'll go home... yeah." She reached over to her desk and was about to put her cigarette out in the ash tray, but Monica grabbed it out of her hand before it touched even touched the rim. "Why waste a good thing?" She giggled as she inhaled. Scully could physically see every muscle in her body relax at the same time. At least she could make someone's day better today. Parking Garage: 2:34PM "Hey, Agent Scully!" Doggett met her with a smile. "Hi." She tried, but was unable to return the friendly gesture. "Tough day, huh?" He tried, once more, to strike up a conversation when the were in the car. "Yeah... I didn't tell Skinner. Can I use y-" Doggett interrupted. "It's okay, I've got it covered." He glanced over at his partner, her cheeks were wet and her eyes, red. This didn't bother him, though. He had gotten used to being around her when she was emotional. He'd learned to deal with it almost every day when she lost Mulder before. However, he had never quite learned to deal with the emotions it brought up in him, the thoughts of Luke. "Thank you." She whispered. "Do you need anything from the store or anything? He asked as they approached the local shopping plaza. "I'm fine," she said. "Agent Scully... I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but, uh, I know how you feel. I've been there. Lost my son, then my wife. I know it hurts. May I suggest something?" He asked. "I suppose so." "I would give anything to talk to those people I lost again... you have the ability to reach Mulder. The Gunmen can help you contact him. Just tell him how you feel... and that you miss both of them. If nothing else, it'll give you something to smile about," he said, smiling to himself. Even though there was nothing to be happy about at the moment... he couldn't wait to see Scully smile again. He had always loved her smile. "Thank you, for your... concern and your help through all of this. But the last thing Mulder said to me was "wait for us". So that's what I'm doing." She told him in an insouciant tone. She had taught herself to hide her feelings well. "But, it's tearing you up inside. It's been nearly four months. I think it's safe to say... everyone's out of danger." "We're never out of danger." She turned her head towards the window, remembering the terrifying event that had put them in this situation. It made her hands shake just to think about it... just to picture her baby in that man's arms... that dead man, somehow come back to life. She could remember the look on Mulder's face and he grabbed the child out of Krycek's arms, or arm rather. She could remember the terror in her child's screams as the gun shots rang out. She could never let that happen again. "Here we are." The car pulled up in front of Scully's building. She sighed audibly as she got out of the car. "You want some company?" Doggett offered, already knowing the answer. "No, thank you. Thanks for the ride though. Tell Agent Reyes thanks for the suggestion." She shut the car door gently and climbed the steps to the door. Somewhere in Northern Washington State: 1:13PM He could almost hear her voice... and sometimes he thought he was actually going crazy. But, he knew it was only because he missed her so much. He was bathing the baby when the phone rang. It startled him, and he jumped. They hadn't received a call in weeks. "Hello?" He answered. "It's Langly." The familiar voice brought a smile to his face. "How is everyone?" These were always the first words out of his mouth. "We're all good, Frohike wants me to tell you he has a cold. Shut up, man! Yeah, we were all kinda bored out here. So how are things in the bush?" "I'm not living in the bush, guys. It's a town," he said defensively. "Right, a village. How's the kid?" Langly's voice became monotonous. "He's great. His wrist healed nicely, tell Byers thanks." Mulder touched the baby's hand gently, remembering that terrible day. "Byers says it was mostly Scully's work." Langly said. "Scully... how is she?" Mulder asked sorrowfully, his voice bordering a whisper. "She always says she misses you." "Why wont she talk to me?" He asked them, knowing the answer. "She's afraid, I guess. She says she can't take the chance of having a reoccurrence of... you know." Byers was now on the other side. "Well, you can tell her I'm coming back." Mulder stated powerfully. Of course, he always said this when he spoke to his friends. They always convinced him to stay for awhile longer. He knew they were right. "Mulder, Scully doesn't want you to come home if it means you have to risk William's life, and your own." Byers reminded him. "I know. But, how much longer can we put ourselves through this? I mean, the baby needs a mother," he said glancing over at his son, who was now fast asleep in his high chair. "Mulder, just wait for awhile longer. Another few weeks wont hurt." Byers said. But Mulder's pain was getting worse by the hour. Another few weeks... where would he be then? "We just wanted to check up, see how things were going. Um, you hear about this new restaurant in DC? They got killer burgers, dude." Langly returned to the phone. "Man, I would kill for a killer burger, Langly... think you could send one out?" Mulder joked. "That's our top priority, Mulder. Feed the bushmen." Langly laughed. "I'm not in the bush! Get it straight guys." He repeated himself. "Okay, Mulder... Gotta go hunt down the mysterious on-line shoe store hacker." One of them said... he couldn't tell which one. "All right guys. I'll talk to you soon. Tell Scully I... Tell her I'll see her soon," he said sadly. Both hung up and Mulder took a deep breath. He hadn't missed her this much, even when he thought she was dead. He hadn't even been this scared when she had cancer or when he left her and went on his own journey... knowing he may never have seen her again. He missed her so badly... it hurt so much. Scully's Apartment: 4:30 PM She didn't even bother looking through the peep hole when she answered the door. It didn't matter who was there... it wasn't Mulder. "Delivery for a Dana Scully." The young man said as he handed her the package. "Thank you." She took the parcel and closed the door. It was about two feet long, six inches high and relatively light. As she opened one end, a small card fell out. Scully, I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get word to you. William is blooming. He reminds me of his mother... Beautiful both inside and out. I would have sent these with a flower service- but they could have tracked me. So, I sent them express... hope I got them to you in time. I miss you with all my heart. Mulder She wiped a single tear from her cold cheek and opened the box. Four dead, black roses fell to the floor, each one shattering like glass when it hit. And with each rose, she wept a tear. After cleaning up the mess and placing the card on the coffee table, she walked silently into her bedroom. She placed her fingers softly on the edge of the crib. Where was the child meant for this tiny space? She didn't even know where her son was. "Mulder..." She whispered to herself. Somehow, though she knew it was impossible, she hoped that he had heard her. She hoped he knew that she couldn't go much longer without them. How she couldn't wait to hold her son again... to hold Mulder again... This thought brought even more tears... and the tears accompanied her to sleep. She'd never felt more alone in her life. Author's Notes: I have never done a WIP before. So, I decided to keep it short- in case things weren't working out. I've seen this "theory" for season nine all over the place- so I figured it wasn't any one person's idea any more. Hope no one is offended by me writing about it. I promise the next three chapters will be longer! And, I hope you liked it. Please, feel free to drop me a line- feedback is what keeps us going : ) Title: Finding The Lost: Simple Words Downtown Washington DC: 3:00AM It seemed like they were the only ones in the world who were still awake. The once busy streets now lay silent in the thick fog. But Monica had said she'd be there if Scully needed to talk. So they sat together in this coffee house at three in the morning. Scully didn't say much at first, it seemed awkward to tell her partner about her personal life in such detail. But she knew she had to get it out in the open... so someone could understand. "We thought he was dead. I swear, Mulder saw him die... shot in the forehead in the parking garage after Krycek had threatened to kill him. Skinner shot him just in time... and he was dead. But then he shows up in my bedroom... he's got Mulder hand-cuffed to the front door. And, he's got William in his arm with a knife in his hand. So, I unlocked Mulder and we ran in there. We... were ready to shoot Krycek when he put the baby right in front of his face. He said 'if you kill me, you kill your son.'. So, Mulder glanced over at me..." Her voice began to break. "It's all right Dana, you don't have to go on." Monica informed her kindly. "No, I have to tell you how it happened... not what you read in the report. That wasn't how it happened... Mulder looked at me, for a sign of what to do next. I remember how Krycek looked... he was gray, colorless and his skin... he was dead. Mulder tried to ask him for an explanation, a reason for doing this. Krycek said we wouldn't understand, that the whole world was at risk. That was when I shot him... I don't know how I managed but it was a perfect shot. Mulder grabbed the baby and I... shot him again. I had to make sure, you know. Later, before the police arrived... we searched him, trying to find some answer. There was a note in his front pocket, the police never knew... it said that there were others out there, just like him. They would come and try to achieve the same goal. It said my son," She paused, "My son was not meant for this world. That he had to be destroyed. That's why I let Mulder take him. Not because he was in danger of being kidnapped or- or taken away... because I knew they'd find him with me... I knew if they did they wouldn't fail. They'd kill him." She covered her face with both hands. It took Monica a minute to think of just what to say. She had never heard this story before, and it shocked her. She reached across the table and laid her hand over Scully's, which was now moist with tears. "You know, Dana, I realized, when I was first working with Agent Doggett, that you'll go through a lot of difficult stuff in your life. Watching him lose his son... it tore me up to see someone suffering that much. But... it really hurts when you actually get hit with it yourself. And no matter how hard you feel it is, you have to fight it... you have to keep trying, keep living. You know?" She asked. "Yeah sure, I know," Scully said as she reached into her purse. Seconds later she pulled out a half emptied pack of cigarettes. She held them out to Monica as she searched her purse for a lighter. "I really can't. I want to, but I have to fight it." She declined. Scully simply looked up at her and smiled. "You're right. You're stronger than I am, Agent Reyes." She lit the cigarette and inhaled with a little less difficulty than she'd had the first time. "No... no, I don't think so. I haven't lost my son or... or the man I love. You are the stronger one, here. I'm surprised, some days, at how you seem to forget about them and carry on with your work. I could never do that." She sipped her coffee. "You know, I never told him that." "Told who what?" Monica asked. "Mulder... never said I loved him, to his face, I mean. He told me once... I thought he was joking. How could I have thought that... How could I have brushed him off the way I did?" She turned her head to the floor in shame. "Some people come to far for simple words, Dana. The way you two look at each other, the strength of your friendship... he knows. He doesn't need to hear it from your mouth, he's heard it a thousand times from your heart." She comforted her in the best way she knew how. "I hope that's true." Scully redirected her gaze to the sky, out the window. It was speckled with stars... billions of stars. It reminded her of that song she'd heard in a movie once... "Somewhere Out There" from Fivel, or whatever it was called. She hoped that she and Mulder were looking up at the same stars. This thought provided some reassurance, and some hope. He was somewhere out there... and he promised he'd come back. She had to trust him. Somewhere in Northern Washington State: 1:30AM He'd finally gotten William to sleep. It was almost routine now... feeding at midnight, then crying for a half and hour, then singing lullabies until around one thirty. And Mulder knew he couldn't sing, so he had to break this routine before he saw Scully again. He sat in the kitchen and sipped his luke-warm coffee. It was too sweet, he missed how Scully made coffee. Just perfect, every time. The truth was, all he really missed was Scully. He turned on the radio hoping for some decent reception now that the wind had died down... no such luck. He was tempted to try the television, but knew that wouldn't work either. He glanced at the phone... he wanted to hear her voice, even if it was just her answering service. She would hate him for calling though. He knew she was afraid. He turned the suitcase upside-down and let all of it's contents fall onto his bed. He picked up the small tape recorder and loaded a new tape. "Scully, it's Saturday night... I just put Will to bed. I really don't think I'm meant to be a mother, if you know what I mean... anyhow, no threats have come yet, I haven't spoken to anyone but the gunmen and once to Skinner. Scully, I hope that I can give these tapes to you in person, that I wont have to mail them. I need to come home soon, Scully. You may not believe me, but I think this is driving me more crazy than it is you. Winter is coming... I don't want Will to have his first Christmas without his mother... don't you agree? I don't know. There's a train that runs by here every week. One of these days, I'm gonna head home... weather you're ready or not. I think I'm beginning to know how you felt when I was gone. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Scully. I guess... I guess this is your way of getting me back." He chuckled softly. After a pause he shut off the machine and laid it back on his bed. He sighed and looked toward the phone again. But, it didn't ring. Scully's Apartment: 8:36AM As she opened her eyes, Mulder's card came into focus. It made her smile. Sitting up, she realized this was the first time in weeks that she'd woken up smiling. She stretched her hands to the floor and stood up. She allowed the dizziness to pass then headed for the kitchen. She passed the phone on her way in. "You know I can't do that, Mulder." She shook her head as she spoke. The phone seemed to talk to her, it called her. She walked towards it and pushed the 'Play Messages' button on he answering machine... "Message one of three...Dana, it's mom. I missed your call again. Sorry. How are you, have you spoke to him? I know you never listen to your mother, but I really would like you to call him. I worry, too, Dana. You know that. Please call me soon..." "Message two of three...This is AD Skinner. Scully, Agent Reyes spoke to me in great detail... I'd like you to take a couple days off. Give me a call when you feel ready to come back..." "Message three of three...Are you ready to change your life? Are you ready to lose those pounds?-" She pushed the 'stop' button and picked up the phone to call her mother. But, she couldn't dial. Her mother didn't understand... she hadn't heard the whole story, she'd never been where Scully was. She walked over to the VCR and stuck in the tape... it was the only tape she owned that wasn't hidden away in some box, never to be seen again. It was a home video of William. Only twenty minutes... but it was all she had. Really, it was all she could handle watching. She pushed the mute button. The sound was worn anyway. She sat on the couch and watched her baby sleep. At times, she could almost believe he was real. She knew she couldn't do this to herself anymore. She couldn't live her life watching her son on the television. And, no matter how hard she tried, she knew she couldn't keep her hand from reaching for the phone... Office of theLone Gunmen: 9:17AM "Lone Gunmen, this is Frohike." He answered. "Hi, it's Scully. Is Byers there?" "Yeah, hold on..." He covered the receiver with his hand, "Guys, it's Scully." Byers picked up the phone. "Hello?" "Hey, I think... I think I'm ready. Do you still know where they are?" She asked hesitantly. "Of course. You sure you want to do this?" He asked kindly. "I just... I can't just wait around anymore, you know?" Her voice was quiet and unsettled, yet there was a certain strength behind it. "I understand... You want me to patch you through?" Byers asked. "Um... I uh, yeah. Okay..." Then she heard the click. Somewhere in Northern Washington State: 7:20AM He pulled back the shower curtain to check on William, who was waiting patiently in his walker on the floor. "I'd let you in with me, but I don't want to drop you again." He smiled at the baby almost apologetically. The baby smiled back, as if saying 'I understand.' "You understand. You're a smart kid, Will." He let the curtain fall back into place as he spoke. Just as he turned off the water, the phone rang. "That can't be the gunmen, they already called this week." He picked up the baby quickly and carried him into the living room. Scully's Apartment: 9:23AM Thousands of thoughts raced through her head as she waited for the third ring. Mulder always answered before four rings. Maybe he wasn't there at all. Maybe they'd found him... and Will and done what Krycek had warned them about. The phone rang a third time. Her heart skipped a beat... they must be dead, she knew it. Somewhere in Northern Washington State: 7:23AM He positioned the baby carefully on the couch and gently forced a pacifier into his tiny mouth. Then, he made his way quickly to the phone. He couldn't miss a call. "Hello?" He managed, quite out of breath. There was a long pause. And for a second he thought he'd missed who ever was there. But, then she spoke... and that coarse, low voice was all too familiar to him. "Oh, God. Mulder..." Scully whispered. "Gee, took you long enough, Scully." He delivered the line perfectly... the practice had paid off. He heard her laughing on the other end... he had missed that laugh. "How is..." She tried, but was unable to say his name. "William is amazing, Scully... I just... I can't believe I'm talking to you." "I can." She simply stated. And across the distance, they could see each other smiling. That was all they'd ever needed. He allowed himself to exhale. Closing his eyes in great relief, he realized his wait was finally over. At last, they could come home... Title: Finding The Lost: Never Out Of Danger Relief... she felt such peace... "Mulder, you can't ever do this to me again!" Scully said quietly as she wiped the seemingly endless tears from her face. "I don't want to. But, remember, you were the one who insisted that I take him. I take it you are ready for us to come home, Scully." There was a long pause; almost too long. She wasn't sure of the reason for her calling... she was still so afraid. "Scully, tell me that's why you called... don't you want to see your son again. Don't you want to see... me again?" He asked. "I... don't know if... if that's the best idea, Mulder. You know, as well as I do, the risk we would be taking if we brought him here. You saw how close we came last time... do you want to see that happen again?" She managed. He could tell this was very hard for her. "Well, um, wait... just, hold on a second." She heard the phone click, and she thought she had lost him when the most amazing thing happened. "Will, say hi. Hi!" Mulder whispered. "Arrgghhrrralh." The baby cooed softly. Her eyes filled with tears. She was glad Mulder could not see her like this. She hated looking weak in front of him, in front of anyone. "Thank you, Mulder," She said after a moment, "But... I still don't want to take any unnecessary risks. You understand, don't you?" She asked. "Scully, it's hell out here. It's hell without you. Just... just put yourself in my shoes for a minute... you know something, Scully?" He said. "What?" "Every time I look at him. I'm reminded of you. And that hurts more than anything else. I love you, I... I need you. And, I know you must feel the same way." He told her gently. "I do, Mulder," she said, her voice on the verge of a whisper. They were both silent for a moment, though both knew the other was still there. "Stuck between a rock and a hard place, aren't you? Scully, let me come home. Let me see your face when I hand Will over to you for the first time... Just, just let me see your face, period! I think we're out of any danger that may have threatened him, or us... he's smiling, Scully..." Mulder said encouragingly. He needed to convince her, even if it meant hurting her like this. "How will you get here?" She immediately heard an enormous sigh of relief on the other side... and it made her smile. "There's a train that runs by every three days. I can be there by Friday, we can be there by Friday. And you can see how much he's grown, Scully." He told her lovingly. "... I can't wait," she said, her voice breaking. "And... you know how I said earlier how... how I-" She interrupted him. "I love you, Mulder." "...Ditto!" He smiled, trying to imagine her face right then. There was nothing more to be said, really. So he whispered good-bye and they both hung up... but both waited by the phone for the longest time after that. Those last few words had waited so long to be said. That was truly a miracle in itself. Train Station in Northern Washington: 6:13AM They had made sure to be there early. If they missed this train, they missed their chance for another three days... another three days without her. Mulder kept running her few words over and over in his head. Maybe she was right... maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But, he could not bear it any longer. He glanced down at his son, whom he held safely in his arms. No one could ever hurt him; Mulder wouldn't allow it. Scully would see that when she saw them again. She had no reason to worry. The approaching train woke William from his peaceful slumber. "Well, kiddo... I guess this is it. I think we deserve it, too. You ready?" Mulder asked. The baby smiled at him affectionately through his sleepiness. It was as if he knew he were going home, as if he knew he was going to see his Mommy again. And even with the train bellowing behind him, he was able to fall back into that deep slumber from which he had just come. Mulder watched him until he was fast asleep again. A family, he thought... this picture was nearly complete. Together, they boarded the train. Scully's Apartment She'd been cleaning for hours. She didn't know why... Mulder had seen her Apartment messy before, but somehow this time was different. It was almost as if she would have this one chance to make a good impression... on Mulder or perhaps on her son. She had gone out to the flower shop and bought four fresh roses to place next to her bed. When she had them arranged just right she took a moment and stepped back. She stood with her hands on her hips, and a smile filled with anticipation and expectation on her face. She closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply. She tried to picture Will's face as it would be now. It made her sad that she couldn't. It had been too long. She opened her eyes again and bit her bottom lip... There was a knock at the door. She knew just who it was! "Oh, hold on!" She threw some decorative pillows on her bed and quickly made her way to the front door. There she stood for just a moment, holding her breath. This was it, finally. She unlocked and opened the door and her heart raced like never before. "Hey." She hadn't even had a chance to look at his face when he began talking, but she knew his voice all too well... "Agent Doggett?" She asked in a slightly disappointed tone. "Hey, Agent Scully. Can I come in? I got some bad news," he said solemnly. She could tell by the expression on his face that he was more than serious. It was the same look he'd get when he was talking about his son. "What is it?" Scully asked, allowing him to step in. "I think you should sit down, Agent Scully... please." "Okay," She sat on the couch, "What happened?" With the tone in his deep voice and the look on his face, she was already preparing herself for the worst. "The train that Mulder and your son were on... there was an accident." She tried to inhale, but couldn't... it was as if her soul would not let her. Her legs were numb... memories of the night she found Mulder, dead on the ground, flashed through her mind. She had lost him all over again. No... now she had lost so much more. All she could do was shake her head in disbelief and let the warm tears pervade her eyes. "I am so sorry, Agent Scully." He stood to leave, "I know you want to be alone." "A crash?" She finally was able to speak. "Yeah... no survivors have been found." "But... did they find Mulder's body, William's?" "They haven't been able to identify them, no. But, that was their train. I was driving to work when Agent Reyes called me and told me that they derailed somewhere in Washington State. Do you want me to stay?" He asked comfortingly. "No... thank you for coming by." She whispered, almost inaudibly... but he heard her. And he left. She wanted to stand and pound in a wall or yell to the skies, as she had done before, or drive off a cliff, even. To have no life at all seemed better than to lose the only two that she ever cared for. That was the easiest escape. That was all she wanted to do now. But, all she could do, all her heart would allow her to do was to cry and whisper, "No... no... no." Over and over again until the word, itself, was worn away. Title: Finding The Lost: Home "Um... actually, no... no headstone. Really, all I need is the priest. Yes. Yes, thank you. I'll call back then." She set the phone down gently. She'd been talking on it all day. It seemed to help a little in keeping her mind off the accident. She bent over and covered her face with her hands. To think, she was so close... she was so near to them again. But now she would never see them... ever! She sat up again, looking blankly around her Apartment. There was no one there who could stop her... no one who gave a damn weather she did it or not. The cold metal of the gun felt almost relieving in her sweaty hand. She had thought of this before, when she lost Mulder the first time. She'd held this same gun, come to think of it. But, then, she was unable to pull the trigger... she had another life to consider, then. Now he was dead too. She didn't have a baby to live for this time. She didn't have anything left to live for. She lifted the heavy weapon and held it's tip against her head. It felt so right, like this was the next step to take. She ran her fingers over it gingerly and closed her eyes. Picturing Mulder's face one last time, she wrapped her finger around the trigger and smiled, though her heart was breaking inside. Her cell phone rang... "Hello?" She answered, still holding the gun to her head. "Dana Scully?" A voice asked. "Yes, that's me. Who is this?" "John McGuffery. I'm with the Washington State Police Dept. I'm the one heading up the train wreck investigation," he said. She slowly lowered the gun. This stranger was closer to Mulder than Scully was. She envied him so much... even if Mulder was dead. "Yes, sir." "I understand your child and, um... husband were on the train," he said. "They were, yes." She answered in a monotonous tone. Although Mulder and she were never legally married, she had always thought of him as even more than a husband. "Well, miss... we've identified 48 of the 51 passengers and we're pretty damn sure that the three yet unidentified are women." "So... you mean Mulder wasn't on the train?" She asked. "What I mean is, if he was he must have got off before that crash. I believe he and your son got off before Spokane." "But, you don't know where?" "I'm sorry, miss Scully, I don't. But, at least they aren't here right?" He said. "Yeah. Oh, thank you so much... this is such a relief. "We've been told by an Agent Doggett to tell you first if we find anything at all. We'll be in touch." He hung up. So did she. She glanced down at the gun she held tightly in her hand. Without another thought, she placed it back in the drawer next to the bed. Hope, she thought... this was something more to hope for, something more to live for, at least for another hour or two. Four Hours Later She had waited so long in the dark. Doggett said he would call at the first sign of anything. He was heading up a search team in Washington. But it had been nearly four hours and he hadn't called back once. She looked up at the clock again and sighed. She looked down at the drawer again. No, she thought. Not yet... Somewhere in Washington State: 4:14PM "Agent Doggett, I've worked on quite a few of these types of things... I got a feeling there aint no one out here." John McGuffery joined Doggett on the hill top. The sun was setting; they would have to head back soon. No use looking for someone in the dark. "Fox Mulder is my friend," The words just spilled out, even though he hadn't intended them to. "Yeah..." "I can't give up on him. Not only for myself, but for Agent Scully also." "Yeah, well, I'm sorry about all this. I think this is a waste of my men's time, though. I'm wrapping things up tomorrow, you're on your own after that, Agent Doggett," he said. "I guess I used to be just like you. You know, " he turned toward the man, "If you give up too soon on something like this, you won't like what you stumble upon later. I learned that the hard way." He redirected his gaze to the sunset. "Agent Doggett, what are you sayin'? That I'm gonna have some kinda bad luck if I give up on this Mulder guy?" He asked. "Look, if you stayed and helped me one more day, it would be very much appreciated. It wouldn't kill ya." Doggett said. "... Yeah... I guess I could keep a few men out here. I hope you're right about this." Detective McGuffery walked back down the hill, leaving Doggett alone. He reached into his back pocket and took out his cell. Scully's Apartment: 7:35PM. The rain pounded harshly on the roof. She was tired, but for some reason, could not sleep. She'd taken three sleeping pills in the last hour but they had no effect. The phone rang from the other room. She sprang up to catch it. "Scully?" She answered. "It's Agent Doggett. How are ya?" "I've been waiting here for your call. Did you find them?" "I... no, but we aren't giving up, not yet. I'm staying out here tonight and tomorrow." He told her. He heard her sigh. "Thank you, Agent Doggett. I don't know where I'd be without you." "Scully, what if I don't find him?" He asked. "Well... I wont hold it against you, if that's what you're asking." She reassured him. "No, I know you wouldn't do that. But, I mean... could you handle losing him again?" "... No." And the tears returned just as quickly as they had disappeared when she first heard this new news. "You know what you should do?" "Hmm?" "Talk to Agent Reyes. She helped me when I lost Luke, more than I could have imagined. She kept me from pulling the trigger once." He told her. She couldn't help but look back towards the drawer where she kept her gun. "I have talked to her. Yes, she is helpful. But, she wont bring them back. And, truthfully, that's all I need." Scully's voice became quiet. "I'm sorry this all had to happen." "Me too. I'll talk to you in the morning." She hung up. Scully's Apartment: 10:13PM She tried to pretend she was asleep. Being a doctor, she knew that 72 hours of not sleeping couldn't be good. Neither could four sleeping pills. She stood, but did not switch on the light. Peering out the window into the rain, she allowed the tears that she had been holding in to run free again. Silently, she cried for her child and her love. Silently, she cried for herself. How could she go on if they were dead? She had barely survived this before, who's to say she could now? After a minute a taxi pulled up in front of her building. She took no note of it at first, but when it's passengers got out... her heart would not be still. There was a tall man holding a child in his arms. She prayed to God that it was him... She didn't know how she got there so fast but before she knew it, she was in his arms. Monica had been right, there were no words for them to say. They had each other now, and she could not let go. Mulder looked deep into her eyes. Her tears could not be confused with rain. She smiled, through it all. Then she kissed him. Allowing her tongue to search every part of his mouth that she'd never felt before, she realized, if she had learned anything from this experience, it had been to live in the moment. Finally she was. "I promise, I'll never leave again." He whispered. Letting her hold the baby again, for the first time... he lead them all inside. This was a Scully he had never known, but was glad to know her now. This was a Scully who let her feelings show for once. She held nothing in. "I knew there was a reason to stay awake!" She said. She had never known herself to act this way either, for any reason. But it felt so good, so right. Perhaps it was the sleeping pills... it didn't matter now though. There were so many words to say... so many things he wanted to share with her, like Will's first laugh or the first time he sat up. But, all either of them could manage to say was, "I love you," between kisses. And for once in their lives, they both knew they had found the truth. It was, and had always been... in them! **Finis** Author's Notes: Yippie- my first WIP! Hope you enjoyed it! Please, feel free to tell me if you did! I love feedback!!! Thanks for taking the time to read. I love you guys! little Starbuck* signing out! ~All other work can be found at Ephemeral and Gossamer~
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