Mulder's Sperm

By Melissa

Classification: SRH (at least I hope)

Archive: Ask first please.

Spoilers: Uhm…Momento Mori.

Rating: Uhm…mild R.

Dedication: To my seven sisters. You all know who you are. Also, to

Chelsea for your friendship.

Summary: Scully finds out about that vial, and comes up with an interesting way for Mulder to atone for his …well, read it and find out.

Authors notes: First foray into humor. At least I hope some of it is funny.

Feed back: Please let me know what you think, even if you hate it. Flames are used to heat my house.

Mulder sat staring at the office door, willing Scully to walk through it. It had been a month since the "incident," and her subsequent leave of absence. She was due back today, but it was already 10:45am, and there was no sign of her.

He was shifting the files on his desk for what must have been the hundredth time when he heard a familiar voice in the hall. "Yes, well it's good to be back." Scully walked into the office and gave Mulder an icy stare. Mulder had the good sense to drop his head, as he said, "Uh-welcome back Scully. I-I hope, I mean you look, um-it's ah, good to have you back." Mulder chanced a glance at Scully, and used the best puppy dog look he could muster.

"Knock it off Mulder, you're off the hook. I've decided to forgive you for neglecting to tell me about my ova sooner. It's not your fault I used to cry myself to sleep thinking I could never be a mother. I mean, you didn't realize what it meant to me, right? Let's face it, you don't even see me as a woman."

::You are so wrong about that Scully. I see you as a woman. A woman I want to make scream in ecstasy. Oh yeah. Definitely a woman.:: Mulder was speechless that she thought that. "Scully-"

"Well Mulder, there is one thing you're going to have to do to make this up to me."

Mulder looked at her before speaking. "Anything."

"I hope you mean that, because I want your sp*rm." Mulder was shocked.

::She didn't just say what I think she said, did she?:: "You want my what?"

Somewhat annoyed she repeated, "Sp*rm Mulder. I need your sp*rm to fertilize my ova. You did say anything."

He considered protesting until she fingered her gun. "So, how do I, we, uh do this?"

She handed him a plastic container marked "Mulder Sp*rm."

"You get one of those videos that don't belong to you, a container like this, and then you go jerk off. Then my egg and your sp*rm meet in a petree dish for fertilization, and then I undergo in vitro."

Mulder had turned pasty white, and sweat was beading out on his forehead.

"You make it sound so romantic, Scully." She gave him "the" look before replying.

"This has nothing to do with romance Mulder," ::Although I wish it did:: "this is about my baby."

Looking in her eyes, he could see how much this meant to her. "Ok, but we need to discuss this more. I'll come by around 7:00 tonight. Dinner would be nice." With that he got up to retrieve his coat.

As he started out the door, Scully called after him, "where are you going?"

Mulder didn't hear her and kept on going.

It had been a long first day back for Scully, made even longer by the fact that he hadn't returned to the office. Since nothing was going on, she left the office on time, and headed home to fix dinner. She fixed a roast with peas and carrots, rolls, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Mulder rang the door -bell right at 7:00. He was bearing the gifts of wine, roses and a chocolate mousse cake. Scully was shocked. At her expression he replied, "I thought some wine would be nice, and desert was a must. My mother taught me that a gentleman always brings flowers for a dinner date." Scully started sneezing. "Are you ok Scully?"

Scully was frantically trying to get the window open. "I'm-aaachoo-allergic-aaachoo-to roses. Please-aaachoo-get rid of them."

Crestfallen, he put the flowers in the garbage.

Scully had regained her composure when Mulder said, "at least we still have the wine and cake." Scully shook her head. "What?"

"Mulder, I gave up alcohol almost a month ago, and I'm limiting my caffeine intake. It's all part of a strict pre-pregnancy plan I'm on. I want to be in optimum health when I undergo in vitro. Thank-you for the thought though." Mulder half-heartedly shrugged. "It's ok. So, what's for dinner?"

Mulder balked at the peas and carrots. "You need to eat vegetables Mulder."

He protested, "I do eat vegetables!"

"Mulder, vegetarian pizza doesn't count." He scowled.

Dinner was a subdued affair, with casual chit-chat. Afterwards they sat on the couch. Scully was the first to broach the topic. "Mulder, where did you go today?"

"I told you. I had to think."

She prompted him. "And?"

Mulder shrugged, "I said I'd do it and I will." Scully was quiet for a moment.

"If you're that uncomfortable with this, I can always get someone else. Skinner would probably do it. I think he likes me anyway." Mulder was indignant.

"You will do no such thing! I am a man of my word, and if it's my sp*rm you want, then it's my sp*rm you'll get! And lots of it. Lots and lots of eager beaver sp*rm! Besides, you don't want the kid to have male pattern baldness do you? At least I have a healthy stock of hair."

Scully smiled. "No, I guess not."

"I went to see my lawyer today." Scully was surprised. "I-I set up a trust fund for this child. Well, it can't be a trust fund until this child is born, but you know."

Scully touched his hand. "You don't have to do that Mulder. I don't expect anything from you. Except for your sp*rm."

They both chuckled. "Scully, I want to do this. My father left me a lot of money, and I don't use it at all. It just makes sense. Anyway, this is probably the only child I'll ever have. I-I want, would like to be a part of this child's life." He hesitated. "If that's ok." He looked hopefully at Scully. She graced him with a rare radiant smile. "So, how do we do this?"

4 weeks later

"Mulder come on. It's not that big a deal."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one who has to do "that". I don't know if I can perform." Scully stroked his cheek. "I'm sure you'll "rise" to the occasion Mulder. I have faith." Over the last few weeks they had gotten a lot closer, and Scully had secretly glimpsed some of Mulder's erections. She noticed they generally occurred whenever they were in close contact, and resulted in Mulder spending long periods of time in the bathroom. Of course, Scully wasn't immune to Mulder. She'd had her share of self lovin' thinking about him. She did however, manage to make it home before she indulged herself.

They met with the doctor who then handed Mulder the container for his sp*rm. "Mrs. Mulder, you may wait in the cryogenics lounge for your husband." Neither Mulder nor Scully corrected the doctor. "Please stay close by Mrs. Mulder, as it's sometimes necessary for spouses to "help" out." Mulder wanted to melt into the floor. Scully and Mulder followed the nurse down to his room.

"Alright Mulder, hop to it."

"Ha-Ha Scully."

Mulder and the nurse disappeared into the room. It had a homey feel to it, if that was possible. Mulder studied the chair that sat in the middle of the room, in front of the television. ::That looks like the dental chair in my dentists office.:: Mulder was pulled from his observation by the nurse.

"Do you prefer to drop'em or just unzip?"

"Huh?" The nurse, who Mulder found to be quite unattractive, repeated herself.

"Do you wish to disrobe from the waist down, or just unzip, pull it out, empty, and then reposition?" Mulder was shocked. "Disrobe I guess."

She handed him a buzzer.

"Push once to signal completion, twice to summon me, and three times if you want your wife. Videos are on the shelf, magazines in the cabinet, and for an additional charge you may call a 1-900 number. Any questions?" Without waiting on an answer she turned to leave. "Oh, lights on or off?" Mulder thought for a moment. ::I jerk off at home with the lights on. But I'm not at home. Right.:: "Uh-off." Mulder carefully disrobed, folding his pants and boxers and placing them on the counter. He slid his boxers under the pants for good measure.

Finally finding one of his personal favorites, "Red and Ready," he put the video in and plopped down in the dental chair. He experimented with the different buttons until he found a comfortable position. He began stroking himself and watching the video. He wasn't having much luck with an erection, even his favorite scene, the one where the petite red-head pulls her Sig Sauer out and handcuffs the guy to the bed didn't help. He abandoned the video for the magazines. Finding the latest issue of "Celebrity Skin," he resumed trying to get an erection. He was growing frustrated.

Scully had plowed through the magazines and was getting antsy. Glancing at her watch, she realized he'd been in the room for close to an hour. ::What is taking him so long?:: She had always imagined him to be an aggressive, yet gentle lover, but this was ridiculous. Just as she was about to see how he was doing, the nurse came up to her.

"Mrs. Mulder? Your husband just buzzed three times. I think he may need your assistance." Scully felt herself blushing. "Alright." The nurse led her to his room and left. Taking a deep breath, she entered the room. Making her way through the darkened room, she found Mulder standing by the video cabinet with the sheet pulled securely around his bottom half. She turned on the lights, and realized he looked terrified of her.

"What is the problem Mulder?" He shrank back from her even farther.

"I can't. I-I mean it won't."

Scully scowled. "What do you mean it won't? I've heard you on the road. You jerk off more than any man I know." Leaning in, she eyed him suspiciously. "When was the last time you masturbated, and don't lie!"

Mulder stuttered, "f-five days ago. I swear. You said I shouldn't for at least three days prior. I-I just wanted to be sure, so I didn't for five." Softening a bit, she led him back to the "dentist" chair. She began speaking to him in a soothing voice.

"Mulder, honey, it's ok. You're just nervous. You're not under any pressure here. However, I would like to point out that the right time for my cycle is in three days. That's the optimum time for implantation. If that doesn't take, you'll have to go another month

without beer and pizza. I'll also make you eat peas and carrots. Ok?"

Mulder nodded.

"Mulder," Scully purred. "Is there anything I can do to help you? Do you have any fantasies you want to share with me?"

Mulder gulped, and turned red. "N-n-no. I-I mean yes, but I can't share them with you."

"Why not? Mulder, I don't care what your fantasies are about, I just want to help you, help me." Mulder shook his head. Scully was trying not to get angry. "Mulder, tell me the damn fantasies. Now."

Mulder erupted. "Fine! They're about you. All of them. I dream of you naked, of your mouth on me, of you straddling me and taking me deep. I dream of pounding into you until you scream my name. Are you happy now?"

Scully was stunned. "I never dreamed…" Mulder was trying to get up.

"Maybe you should…" Scully pushed him back down, and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Wha-what are you doing?"

Scully had her shirt off and was unclasping the bra. "Shut-up Mulder." Mulder gingerly touched her breasts. Scully kicked off her pants, and yanked the sheet off of Mulder. He was now fully erect, and bobbing. Scully took a moment to admire him. She'd often thought, fantasized, that he was well hung, but not "this" well hung. The sight sent a wave of desire through her. Slithering down his body she took the tip of him in her mouth. Mulder groaned. Suddenly she stopped.

"Fox Mulder, you will not come in my mouth. Do you understand?" He nodded. "Hand me the container." Having done that he spoke. "Together. Please." Scully looked skeptical. "How?"

Mulder started mashing buttons, and the chair started reclining. Scully climbed on top of Mulder facing the other direction. Awkwardly they found a rhythm. Mulder found a particularly sensitive area on her, which caused her to start moving around. This just made Mulder even harder. Five long days of abstinence came to an end as he erupted. Scully moved just in time to fill the container. Mulder was as good as his word; there was lots of sp*rm. Mulder continued working on Scully, who was using her mouth to clean Mulder's penis. She jerked violently as her orgasm hit. Jerking caused her foot to hit the rapid release button on the chair.

Due to the unequal distribution of weight, the chair fell off its base. The two agents were clinging to each other as they went sprawling to the floor. Mulder yelped in pain as Scully nipped his most private part.

The nurse was pounding on the door. "Mr. and Mrs. Mulder? Everything alright?"

Scully quickly answered, "Uh-yes. My uh, my husband just fell. We'll be right out." The nurse just shook her head. Scully quickly dressed and went to check on Mulder.

"Let me see."

"No! I think you broke the skin. Don't touch me."

Scully sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm a doctor. Let me see. Unless you want me to get the nurse."

Mulder flinched, and decided Scully could look at it. She grimaced as she realized he was beginning to swell and bruise. She gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "Thank-you Mulder. Come on, you're coming home with me, and putting ice on that." Mulder followed her out, limping slightly. All eyes were on the disheveled pair as they gave his sample to the nurse.

Mulder was comfortably ensconced in Scully's bed with an ice pack between his legs. "Mulder, I ordered your favorite pizza. I'll pick it up after I get your favorite beer from the store." Brushing that stubborn lock of hair off his forehead, she kissed his right temple. Mulder smiled at her.

::I'm in Scully's bedroom. I'm in her bed! Maybe not the way I would like, but hey!:: Mulder sniffed one of the pillows on the bed and recognized the fragrance as Scully's hair. Normally he would have felt a jolt of fire go to his groin, but the ice pack squelched that.

Glancing around the room, he suddenly realized he could indulge in one of his secret fantasies: peeping into her underwear drawer. He'd often wondered about her choice in panties, but had been too preoccupied with other things to take notice earlier. Making his way to her bureau, he finally found the drawer he wanted. He was highly disappointed when he found some raggedy old pairs of white cotton panties.

::What the hell? Yew! I knew you were practical Scully, but this?:: He fumbled around some more until he found some satin leopard print bikini panties. ::Hot damn! The Holy Grail!!:: Mulder had visions of ripping that little scrap of material off of her with his teeth. So lost in thought was he that he didn't hear Scully come in.

"Mulder?" His back went ram rod straight when he heard that voice, and blood rushed to his face. He began sputtering an apology as he turned to face her. "Scully-I…I…uh-" She answered for him. "Snooping. You were snooping, Mulder. Find anything you like?"

Sheepishly he replied, "uh-yeah. These." He held up the leopard print panties. She arched an eyebrow. "Be a good boy, and you may get to see me in those. Of course, if you're a bad boy, I'll wear my old raggedy ones I use for my monthly." Mulder swallowed hard and hobbled back to bed.

Scully re-emerged carrying the pizza, a beer and an ice water. Half way through the pizza Scully spoke, "Seriously Mulder, thank-you for doing this." She gave his hand a squeeze.

"Scully, don't you know I'd do anything you ask?" Mulder decided to go for broke. He reasoned that Scully was less likely to kill an injured man than a perfectly healthy man. "That I-I love you?" Mulder looked down at his hands while he waited for Scully's reaction. Scully responded by kissing him deeply.

"I love you too, Mulder." They continued kissing until Mulder yelped in pain.

"What is it Mulder?" Scully was looking at him with a mix of concern and confusion.

"I'm kinda getting… excited, and it uh-hurts."

Scully glanced at his crotch and noticed the ice pack was gone. "Mulder," Scully groaned. "I told you to keep the ice pack on!"

Mulder tried his best pouty look on Scully. "But Scully, it was cold! I was afraid I might have permanent damage."

Scully rolled her eyes. "Did you think about the damage "not" putting the ice pack on might cause?" Picking the ice pack up, she placed it on his boxer clad crotch. "Anyway, I

want your parts in working order. I have plans for you. Big plans."

She gave Mulder an enigmatic smile that sent a shiver through him and because of the ice pack either.

Scully gave him Tylenol for the pain and then proceeded to get an extra pillow and blanket out of the closet. Drowsy from the Tylenol Mulder asked "watcha' doin' Scully?"

"I don't want to take any chances of arousing you. I'm just going to sleep on the couch." Mulder began to protest, but Scully gave him "the" look.

"Scully what about in the morning? I'm a normal guy you know?"

She calmly answered, "that won't be a problem Mulder. The ice pack is to stay on all night." Mulder moaned as she retreated to the living room.

"Wake-up Mulder. Come on." Mulder opened one eye and then the other before trying to get up.


Scully helped him to the bathroom and waited as he relieved himself. Afterwards she ordered him to drop his shorts. His mouth fell open, but nothing came out. "I'm checking your wound, not going down on you." His jaw snapped shut. "Well, it's badly bruised, but you should be back in business in a week or so."

Mulder spent the rest of the weekend with Scully, and accompanied her to her in vitro appointment on Monday. Mulder sat quietly as the doctor went over everything with Scully.

"So, Dana, we'll be implanting you with five fertilized eggs." Mulder's head snapped up. "What!? What if they all implant? She's not a poodle for God's sake!"

"Mr. Mulder, it's not likely all five will actually implant. We usually only try three at one time for implantation, and freeze the other two. However, because of Dana's unique circumstance and the generous amount of sp*rm you were able to produce, we were able to fertilize ten eggs." Mulder felt a sense of manly pride that his "eager beavers" had done well. The doctor left them to get ready for the procedure.

Mulder was with her throughout the whole; green though he was. After dressing, Scully waited with Mulder for the doctor. "Dana I think all went well. Here's your prescription for your hormones and prenatal vitamins. Start them tomorrow. As they were leaving the doctor said, "oh, by the way, we were able to fix the chair. Don't worry about it, it happens all the time." Smiling, he left two very embarrassed agents staring after him.

"Aw, come on Scully! It's been ten days, I'm healed." Scully continued going over the file in front of her.

"Don't whine Mulder. Besides, we "are" at work." Scully removed her glasses and looked at Mulder. With a secret smile she said, "however, tonight is a different story." Mulder perked up at the thought of the night ahead. Scully dug into her work while Mulder fidgeted.

At five o'clock he bolted from the office, never glancing back. Scully chuckled at his anxiousness, before hurrying from the office herself.

Heading straight for the shower, he washed "all" of his body parts. Mulder was debating if he should stick to his usual ritual of masturbating or not. He'd decided to forego the ritual, but remembered something he'd seen in a movie. ::Can't go out with a loaded gun. Can't finish too early.:: As more of a necessity than an act of pleasure, he spanked his monkey. Drying off he tried to tame his unruly hair, and shaved again as a courtesy to Scully. He chose his black silk boxers with flying saucers on them. Feeling properly dressed he went to get an appropriate dinner gift.

Scully had taken a nice bubble bath, shaved her legs and armpits again, and put a fresh coat of paint on her toenails. She chose her leopard print panties and matching bra for Mulder's enjoyment.

At seven sharp he once again rang her bell. Opening the door revealed a fruit basket bearing, folic acid, vitamins and sparkling white grape juice in a bottle carrying Mulder. At her questioning look he responded, "I read that pregnant women should get lots of folic acid, and I didn't think you'd be allergic to fruit." Scully kissed him as she ran her

Hand down the front of his gray sweater clad chest before pulling away.

"Wow, can we skip dinner?" Smiling she shook her head no. "Afraid not. If I am pregnant, I can't skip meals. Let's eat." She had fixed linguini with seafood marinara sauce, garlic bread, and broccoli. Mulder poured them two glasses of the sparkling white grape juice and they clinked glasses. "To the future and what it holds." Mulder ate everything but the broccoli. Scully frowned but let it slide. "What's for desert?"

Rising from the table Scully held her hand out to Mulder. "Let's go have desert, Mulder." His hands started to sweat as he followed her into the bedroom. The room was bathed in candlelight and the scent of vanilla bean. Becoming serious, Scully turned to Mulder. "If we do this Mulder, there's no going back. For me it'll be sealing the bond. A commitment. Do you understand?"

Trying to speak, Mulder found his mouth to be parched. All he could manage was a nod. For a few agonizing moments they simply stared at each other.

Dana felt like a virgin again. ::You didn't hesitate to go down on him in that office Dana, now did you. But that was different. Just keep telling yourself that honey.:: Mulder was jittery himself.

::This feels like twelfth grade and Mary Anne Gillespie all over again. If anybody's listening, please let this be better than that. Let "me" be better than that.:: They both leaned in to kiss at the same time, bumping foreheads as they did so. Mumbling their apologies, they tried again. Tongues dueled and hands began to roam. Scully tugged at his sweater until she had it off, and grazed his nipple with her teeth.

She kneeled on the bed as he fumbled with the buttons of her shirt. He gasped as the leopard print bra was revealed to his eyes. He cupped her breast through the satin of the bra for a long time. Scully began to giggle. "What? What's so funny?"

Smiling she answered, "it won't break Mulder." Slowly he unclasped the bra and rubbed his thumb over her nipples until they were hard. With a shiver she tried to undo his pants, finally easing the jeans and boxers away. The garments pooled around his feet, and he stiffened as she deftly took the tip of him into her mouth.

He threw his head back and groaned. He was close. Dangerously close. Of course, five years of only having your hand as a sex partner could do that to you. "Oh sweet Jesus." He was afraid of losing it right there. "Dana, stop. Now!" As he tried to back away, his feet became entangled in his pants and boxers, causing him to fall backwards. He narrowly missed hitting the bureau with his head, but slammed into the floor on his left shoulder. "Ouch! Oh it hurts!"

Scully was trying to help him up, but he was rolling around on the floor like a fish out of water. "Mulder, hold still. I think you may have dislocated your shoulder." She managed to help him sit up. "Oh Mulder, it is dislocated. We need to get you to the hospital."

Any thoughts of protesting were laid to rest as pain shot up his arm. She managed to get him dressed and loaded in the car heading to the hospital.

Three and a half -hours later, Scully had a heavily drugged Mulder in the car headed back to her apartment. Getting him put to bed was an exhausting feat. She collapsed next to him, and they slept.

Mulder awakened around noon the next day feeling very sore. ::We must have had some serious sex, if I'm this sore. Wonder why I don't remember it?:: He tried to get out of bed, but realized his left arm was constricted. ::What the hell? What did we do last night?::

"Scully? Hey Scully?" Scully came into the room wearing jeans and a t-shirt. "Good afternoon. How do you feel?" The fog was beginning to lift from his brain. "My shoulder? Oh hell, I dislocated it, didn't I?" She nodded. "So we didn't…." Again she shook her head. Mulder groaned.

"Here, take your meds." Grudgingly he took the pills.

"Can you help me up? I need to, you know."

She helped him get to the bathroom, and then asked, "do you need any help, Mulder?"

"Ohhh Scully, is that a come on?" At her withering look he quickly added, "uh, I think I have it." After he finished, she steered him back to bed. "What about work?"

"I already called in for you. Now sleep." She was almost out the door when he feebly called out, "Scully, please stay with me." Unable or willing to refuse, she lay down next to him, careful of his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Scully. I wanted it to be perfect." She kissed him. "It will be. Now sleep." Mulder slept for the rest of the day and through the night. Scully had picked him up a change of clothing for work the next day.

Getting dressed the next morning was a feat, but they managed. Mulder had the good sense to forego shaving, and Scully secretly thought he looked extra sexy. Skinner had left a message for them to come see him immediately.

Skinner's Office

"Agent Mulder, can you explain to me how it is that you came to be injured in Agent Scully's apartment?"

Mulder's mouth began to open and close like a fish. Mulder was trying to figure out what to say as he chanced a glance at Scully. She was slightly blushing. He debated telling the truth. ::Well, you see, my pants were around my ankles, and Scully had the head of my cock in her mouth. Since I haven't had sex in close to six years, I almost blew my wad. I tried to extract my cock from her mouth and fell.:: Mulder decided that would get him killed, so he went for a half-truth.

"I was inspecting what I believe to have been an object of paranormal phenomenon in Agent Scully's apartment. As I was attempting to extract this object, I fell, dislocating my shoulder." Scully had one eyebrow arched and was looking at Mulder.

Skinner's brow knit as he mumbled "uhmhum. Is this accurate Agent Scully?"

"To the best of my knowledge, yes."

Skinner nodded. "Very well, dismissed." As they left, he took out the office pool to see who had won.

Only when they were safely back in the basement did Scully speak. "Paranormal phenomenon? 'Extracting' an object? Are you crazy?!"

"Would you prefer I tell him the truth? That you were going down on me?"

Scully blushed and turned away from him. "But Mulder, 'paranormal phenomenon?' Why that?"

Mulder placed his hand on her shoulder. "Maybe I just have a hard time believing you could love me."

Scully hugged and kissed him. "Will you ever believe you're worth of love?"

Mulder deflected the seriousness of the moment by saying, "I didn't hear you complaining about the object I was extracting, Agent Scully." She smiled.

"Speaking of which, when do you think I could resume my investigation?"

Scully looked at him in doctor mode. "I'd say in about three to five days."

Mulder sighed. "Ok."

Mulder and Scully spent the next few days doing paperwork, and tying up loose ends. Mulder's shoulder was still tender, but feeling much better. Probably because Scully had been giving him rub downs every night.

"Scully, it's been, uh, a few days." He looked hopeful.

Scully smiled at him as she ran her hand through his hair. "Yes it has, Mulder. I suppose you'd like to investigate some more paranormal phenomenon, wouldn't you?"

Mulder gave her a lopsided grin. "Agent Scully, must I remind you about the bureau's stance on consorting with agents of the opposite sex?"

Scully glanced at her watch. "See you around seven Mulder, and…eat before you come." With that she was gone.

Mulder struggled through the rest of the day. He left work fifteen minutes early. He managed to shave again, and idly considered his loaded gun theory, but decided to take his chances. He put on his solid black silk boxers, and black jeans and sweater. He hurried over to Scully's.

Scully had shaved her legs, touched up her toenail polish, and reapplied a touch of makeup. Instead of dressing, she slipped into her gray satin chemise and panties. She reasoned they wouldn't be wearing clothes long enough for it to matter. She also changed the sheets and lit all the candles in the bedroom.

At ten until seven Mulder knocked on Scully's door. She opened the door and met his eyes. Mulder was seriously regretting not emptying his "gun." "You're early." Mulder hoped that wasn't a pattern for the night.

He closed the door behind him, and was surprised when she kissed him hard. Breaking the kiss, she led him into her bedroom.

"Slow down Scully. Don't you want to take it slow?"

Tugging at his shirt she replied, "five and a half years isn't long enough? I "want" you. I

"need" you. I "love" you."

Mulder wanted to run, jump for joy, and sink into her simultaneously. Instead, he turned to humor. "Isn't that an Elvis song?"

Scully countered. "So is Heartbreak Hotel."

Mulder gulped. "I'm just…nervous. I mean it's been awhile." She kissed him again.

"I am too, but it'll be good because we love each other." They quickly undressed and teased one another. Mulder showered her breasts with attention, and she stroked his satiny length.

Lying on the bed kissing and caressing each other, Mulder slipped a finger into her. She was impossibly wet. For a long moment they just stared at each other. By silent communication they decided it was time. Mulder reached for his pants and pulled out his wallet. From inside he pulled out a foil packet. Scully was touched by his care and respect for her. He was about to open the packet when she shook her head.

"All of you. No barriers." Tossing it aside he kissed her. "Tell me how you want it Mulder. In your fantasies, I mean." He blushed. Dana remembered what he'd said in the clinic that day. "Do you want to be on top?" He shook his head. "From behind?" Again he shook his head. She looked puzzled.

"You on top. I want you to take me. Please."

Scully shivered at the raw emotion in his voice, and nodded. "Mulder, I want you to know it's been a really long time. I haven't since…I was assigned to the X-Files." She was blushing.

He smiled. "Neither have I." That was all it took to propel Scully into action. In record speed she had him on his back, and was straddling him. Slowly she guided him into her. She bit her lower lip at the almost painful sensation. Afraid of hurting her, he grasped her hips to help her. Slowly taking all of him, made Mulder groan.

She began rocking her hips against him, slowly at first. Trying to urge her faster, he began thrusting his hips. "You want it faster Mulder? You want it harder?"

In a rough voice he responded, "oh yeah. Please." She began lifting and slamming her hips against him. Every so often she would clench her inner muscles around him. "Oh God Dana." He could feel his balls tightening, and was trying to hold off for her.

"Almost Fox. Almost…there." He reached out and flicked her clit a few times, causing her to go over the edge, taking him with her. Spent, she collapsed on top of him. Stroking her hair, he held her to him. Her breathing hitched.

"Scully, you ok?" She had a single tear sliding down her face. She tried to bury her face in his shoulder. "Hey! No barriers, remember? Talk to me."

She sniffled. "I'm scared. And happy. And everything. "

Mulder rolled them on their side, slipping out of her as he did so. "Me too. Want to talk about it?"

"I love you so much. I've wanted you-this-for so long. And tomorrow…"

Mulder finished for her, "Is the day you're supposed to start your period."

She nodded, then realized what he had said. "How did you know?" Busted. Mulder didn't dare not to tell the truth.

"Uh, well, I've been keeping track of your…cycle…for a while now." She smacked at his arm playfully.

"Why? Am I that bad?"

Mulder lowered his eyes sheepishly. "N-No. Well, not bad, just…a force to be reckoned with even more so than normal."

She kissed his nose. "Nice save, "Fox."" He flinched, but figured she had the right after that. They spent the night making love.

For the next three days they anxiously waited. On the third night, they dared to hope. "Maybe you should take the test tomorrow, Scully."

She had been reluctant to buy an EPT for fear of jinxing them. "I-I haven't bought one yet."

"Scully, I thought we agreed?" She rolled away from him. "I'm just-"

"Scared. Scared of being disappointed. Scared of being a parent."

"Yes." Mulder got out of bed and dressed. "Mulder?" He was heading out the door.

"I'll be back Scully. Just wait."

Mulder had to drive for thirty minutes to the nearest 24-hour Wal- Mart. He found the pharmacy department and the tests. He'd mistakenly thought he could just go in, get one, and be done. Wrong. ::How many damn tests are there?::

He didn't know if he should get the +/- kind, the pink/blue dot kind, the one/two line kind, or the stick kind. He looked around for a nice older lady to help him. To his amazement the store was suddenly deserted. He spotted a pimply faced kid stocking shelves. ::Yeah, like he's had sex.:: He didn't realize he'd been staring until the kid came

over to him.

"Need some help?" Mulder just looked at him.

"Hey, I know what I'm doing. Now, how late is she?" Mulder finally found his voice.

"Uh-3 days."

Junior eyed him. "You must be trying. You can forget these two. They can't detect that

early." Mulder just stared. "Is she going to take the test in the morning or at night?"

"Tomorrow morning."

Junior nodded."Well, that leaves you with these two." Mulder looked at his choices: +/- or lines, then back to Junior.

"Geez, and people say teenagers are dumb."

Mulder scowled and shifted his jacket so Junior could see his gun. "Uh, the +/- is the easiest to read." Junior turned to leave, but Mulder caught his arm.

"Just how many kids do you have?" Junior blushed.

"N-None. My girlfriend and I use the Pill and condoms."

"Then how…?" Junior rolled his eyes.

"Sex Ed. Heard of it? Look, I gotta go. Good luck." Mulder watched him leave. :: At least my tax dollars are going to good use.:: He quickly checked out and headed back to Scully.

She was drinking warm milk when he came back. "Hi Scully."

"Hi yourself." He held up the bag and shook it. They went back to bed, Mulder wrapping himself around Scully. "We'll be all right, as long we're in this together." They slept peacefully.

Scully was out of the shower when Mulder woke-up. "Scully? Did you take it yet?" She popped her head out the door. "I just did. It'll take about five minutes." Mulder patted the mattress for her. She slipped back into bed, and they lay in silence until the timer sounded. Scully started to get up, but Mulder stopped her.

"Scully, I love you beyond belief. Before we check the test, I want to ask you something; will you make an honest man of me by marrying me?"

"Mulder, I don't expect a thing from you. You don't have to marry me because I may be pregnant."

"Dana, that's why I asked you before we knew. Regardless of the outcome I want to marry you."

Scully kissed him. "In that case, yes. Now, lets go find out if we're going to be parents."

Nervously they peered at the small square that held their future. Scully had tears streaming down her face as she leaned back into Mulder.

He kissed her neck and caressed her abdomen. "Hi Mom."

"Back at you dad."

They decided not to tell anyone until after the first trimester. They had however announced their engagement, and began planning their wedding. Mulder had moved in with Scully, but had kept his apartment as an office.

The day of the ultra-sound, they had gone to tell Mrs. Scully. "Oh Dana, Fox! I'm so happy for you! Have you told Walter yet?"

Dana eyed her mother. "Walter? Just what's been going on between you two?"

Maggie Scully blushed. "We go out occasionally." Dana arched an eyebrow, but said nothing more.

They then went to tell Skinner, and afterwards Scully had a little chat with him about her mother. Mulder was just glad he wasn't having the little chat with her.

As they waited for the doctor to come do the ultra-sound, Mulder contemplated Scully's size. He didn't dare say anything to her, but she was more than a little big. He wondered if the doctor would say anything to her about the weight gain. Mulder held her hand as the doctor smeared the conducting jelly on her belly. They watched as the screen flickered to life. "Oh my God!" Scully gasped as she viewed the screen.

Mulder was confused. "Does this mean what I think, doctor?"

Both Scully and the doctor nodded yes. Mulder turned pale, then green, and then he promptly passed out.

The End

Stay tuned for the sequel: Mulder's Sperm + Ubereggs = Little Pink Babies

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