Summary: Scully meets Emily one more time and realizes her feelings toward her daughter aren't as resolved as she thought.

Author's Notes: Have you lost a loved one? If you had the chance to see them one more time, would you take it? This may sound trite, but most of this vignette truly came to me in a dream. Profuse thank-you's go to my wife (and Queen Editrix) Misti, as well as SetMedic and SherryDav, for their kind help in smoothing the rough edges and helping make the dream a little clearer.

"An angel of the Lord appeared to [Joseph] in a dream . . ."
- The Gospel according to Matthew, chapter 1, verse 20

It had been a long, tiring day at work for FBI Special Agent Dana Scully. She arrived home at her Washington, D.C. Apartment with nothing on her mind except a good night's sleep.

That sleep came only a few minutes after her head hit the pillow. Then the dream came . . .

Scully knew where she was instantly. She recognized the shoreline, the simple wooden pier, and the boat in which she sat. She also recalled the rope connecting the craft to the pier.

As had happened once before, the rope slipped its knot and the boat drifted away from shore. Scully felt no apprehension or fear. Rather, she felt at ease, calm. She also had a good idea of where she was heading.

The scene changed and she was inside a large, dimly lit room. Distance and dimensions played tricks on her mind. She could not tell how large the room was; where the light sources were coming from; or whether there were walls, windows, or doors. But she recognized the room.

Scully had met her father, William, ("Ahab" to her) once in this room. It was during the time she was in a coma and was drifting in and out of consciousness, back and forth from life. He had convinced her to return to life.

Now Scully was in that room again. Why? Would she meet her Ahab again? That thought comforted her. For all their differences, she loved her father with a deep affection.

Scully became aware of another person in the room, a woman in a white nurse's uniform. Scully quickly recognized her as Nurse Owens, the woman who had helped her during her hospital visit yet then mysteriously vanished.

"Hello," Scully said.

Nurse Owens smiled kindly in response.

"Where am I?" Scully asked. Nurse Owens responded by glancing over to her right, Scully's left. Standing there was Scully's father, wearing his pristine Navy uniform.

"Ahab," Scully said with a warm grin.

Her father responded with a smile of his own. He seemed to be only half there, as if he was but a shadow of himself.

"Why are you here, Dad? Why am I here?" Scully asked. She turned back to Nurse Owens. "What is happening?"

Nurse Owens did not respond. Her expression was friendly, yet vague.

Scully thought about it for a moment. She looked over at her father, then back to Nurse Owens.

"Is this Heaven?" Scully asked.

Nurse Owens shook her head as a "no" response.

"Hell?" Scully asked, a little nervously.

Nurse Owens shook her head again.

"Where else could this be?" Scully wondered aloud. She thought back to her catechism classes. "Purgatory?"

Nurse Owens nodded "yes."

"Will my father eventually go to Heaven?"

Nurse Owens nodded again.

The thought of her Ahab reaching Heaven warmed Scully's heart. She wanted to hear his voice, hear him call her "Starbuck" one more time, but she somehow understood that wasn't possible here. Her thoughts then turned toward other loved ones who had died.

"My daughter, Emily. Is she here?" Scully asked the nurse, who shook her head "no."

"Is she in Heaven?" Nurse Owens gave an emphatic "yes" nod. Scully remembered how a priest had once promised her that God took care of all children who died young. Those words were not much of a comfort at the time; it turned out the priest was right, however.

"Can I see her, too?" Scully asked. Nurse Owens did not respond. Her expression seemed to indicate such a request was not usually allowed. "Please? It would mean so much to me."

Scully was a little surprised at her own words. She had known Emily for only a brief time, so she told herself she didn't have time to become attached to her. Or did she?

Nurse Owens smiled, and then looked to her left. Standing there was Emily. Scully put a hand to her mouth, but not in time to capture the escaping gasp. She fought back tears. Somehow, Scully managed to keep her emotions in check.

"Oh, Emily," Scully said softly, walking toward her daughter.

Emily wore a simple blue dress. Her face bore a peaceful expression. Scully approached her and bent on one knee. A scientist who used words to define life around her, Scully suddenly found herself speechless. For what seemed like an eternity, Scully stared silently at her daughter.

"Can I touch her?" Scully asked, looking back at Nurse Owens. The nurse initially appeared to shake her head. But then she looked away. Scully took this as permission, and she reached her hand toward Emily. She touched her cheek, ever so gently, then caressed her hair and head.

"Oh, Emily," Scully said. Again she successfully fought back tears. Instead, Scully leaned forward and draped her arms around her daughter in a gentle hug. It was a polite embrace, almost as if Scully was afraid to be too close.

"Honey, I never had a chance with you. I never heard your first cry, never felt your first tooth, never saw you take your first steps. We never had any time . . . We never had a chance," Scully wanted to say these words, but she couldn't - wouldn't - allow herself.

Emily pulled out of Scully's embrace and kissed her mother on the lips. She gave a little smile and then she was gone.

"NO!" Scully cried out, her guard momentarily slipping down. But Emily was nowhere to be seen. Just as in life, Scully's daughter had been taken from her before she was ready. "Emily? Emily!"

It was a cruel irony. Scully had longed to see her daughter one more time, but that visit only made her absence that much more painful.

After Emily died, Scully felt powerful emotions she had never experienced before. But the tight rein she kept on herself was stronger. The rational, logical scientist walled in emotions for Emily, stifled feelings for a daughter she never had a chance to love.

Scully wanted to cry for Emily. But she could not allow herself. She was afraid she couldn't stop.

Looking back at Nurse Owens, Scully wanted to scream in anger, release what was inside of her. But Scully realized she could not direct her rage at Nurse Owens, who had granted Scully a kindness by letting her see and touch Emily. Scully knew such visitations were probably not supposed to happen in this place. Yet Nurse Owens had allowed her a brief look into Heaven. Why? For what purpose?

After taking a few moments to compose herself, Scully returned to where Nurse Owens was standing. She had one more loved one to ask about.

"Is my sister Melissa here?" Scully asked. Nurse Owens responded with a "no" shake. "Is she in Heaven?" Another "no" shake. Scully's heart froze. "Is she . . . in Hell?"

Nurse Owens did not respond. Instead she started to fade from Scully's view. Before she could ask another question, Scully was back in the boat, drifting toward the pier.

Just as she reached the shore, she awoke.

End

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