Title: Nightmare Born
Author: LuvN Kses
Rated: R, for graphic images, language.
Catagory: Story/M/S /Angst
Spoilers: The Red & the Black, FTF, Emily, XC
Keywords: MSR/ no sex
Archive: Submit to Gossamer: ..is OK with me....permission granted to archive, if notified first.

Summary: Mulder helps Scully threw a fright-filled night, after nightmare's envade her nocturnal respite, and Scully finds herself in a terribly scary

Author's Note: This fic was inspired by a scene that I heard was cut from TRATB...I was given the idea in chat one day as we were talking about cut scenes and bloopers...Thanx Philes! This is a first time submission to ATXC..please..please..be gentle..The first part is a little slow....


Smile, though your heart is aching.
Smile, even though it's breaking.
When, there are clouds,
in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile, threw your tears and sorrow.
Smile, then maybe tomorrow.
You'll find that life,
is still worthwhile,
if you just....smile.


Dana Scully awakens violently, sitting straight up in bed. She is sweating profusely, and her mind is a blur of nighmare-ish images. She is breathless, as though she had been running away from something in her dreams, and her feet ache, pound actually. Her heart is racing, and she trembles outwardly, not sure if she is really within the here and the now. Where is here? She is afraid. Very very frightened by whatever she must have seen.

She shakes as she reaches for the lamp by her bed, only to realize when it wasn't there... she isnt in her bed. She is on her couch, grasping a pillow between her hands as though she is choking someone. She looks around nervously, her dreamstate still rampaging threw her veins, her heart still thundered inside her chest. She's petrified. She doesn't understand why she's in her living room, or even how she got here. But one thing was for certain. It scared the living daylights out of her.

Dana Scully, is having some sort of night terror.

Terror that takes control, leading you, moving you.
Terror that takes you, and places you where it wants you to be.
Terror that hits you like a semi, then leaves you to the waking world.
Terror that consumes you eagerly, then spits you out half chewed.
Terror that was unfathomably scary, and duly intimidating.

Scully looks around, and yanks her phone off the reciever. She pressed the speed dial, and shakily put the phone to her ear.


"M-M-Mulder? It's- it's me." Scully stammers.

"Scully? What is it?" he asks softly, concerned.

"Mulder, um, I know it's late but--could you please come over here?" she sighs into the phone.

"Of course Scully. You OK?"

"I just had something really weird happen to me Mulder--" but he cut Scully off.

"No need to say anymore. I'll be right over." he says, hangs up his cellphone tucking it in his pocket, and took off out the door.

Scully drops her hand that held the phone down upon on the couch, as the phone rolls out and on to the floor. She curls up on her sofa, cuddling the pillow she woke up strangling, frightened and terrified as to why she was in her living room. It didn't make sense. It just doesn't make sense.

The last time she didn't remember where she had been, or how she got there, was the time she ended up at that Damn Dam. To this day, she doesn't remember. Just vague hypnotic reminisence.

Suddenly a cold chill runs right over the spot where the chip rests in her neck, sending Scully into and even deeper realm of fright. It was growing colder and colder, till it hurt. Then just as quick as it started to hurt, it was numb. Almost like...frostbite. This was all to terrifying, and she had no explanation for it. Suddenly, Her neck grew even colder, deathly cold, and she really started to freak.

"God Mulder, please hurry," she said aloud, and curled up even further into herself for comfort.


Scully hears the doorknob jiggle. She hears a key being inserted into the slot, and the door creaking as it opened. She stayed curled up on her couch, eyes wide, frozen in absolute terror!

"Mulder?!" she says loudly.

"Yeah Scully, it's me. Where are you?" he asks.

She sits up looking at Mulder pitifully, as he rushes over to be at her side. He sits next to her on the couch and barely lifts his arm to embrace her, when she suddenly falls into his chest. She grabbed his shirt, the folds creased tightly within her clinched fists, as she scoots closer to Mulder where she felt safe. He wrapped his arms around her, and rocked her slightly back and forth.

"Hey--What has you so frightened?" he whispers, as his head rests softly upon hers.

"I--I woke up, and I--I, I was out here Mulder." she explains.

"You fell asleep out here?" Mulder says confused.

"No Mulder. I fell asleep in my room...but woke here... Mulder the last time this happened--" he cut her off.

"--The last time this happened, you were at the Dam." he finishes her sentence.

She shakes her head slowly...Yes.

Mulder is speechless, his words failing him, as he recalls just how close they came to Scully dying that day.

"I feel trapped. Subject to this chips every whim. I can't control it Mulder. This scares me more than any X-File ever could." Scully suddenly says.

"But the alternative Scully..." Mulder trails off.

"I'm not removing it Mulder. I'm just letting you know, how I feel." she says dropping her head slightly down.

Mulder realizes she is sharing her feelings with him. Something rare from Scully. Especially with him. She always was the brave little FBI agent in front of Mulder. But now she was not running. Not closing off. Not becoming a wall of stone. Not hiding under her Badge and Title. Mulder takes advantage of this.

"Scully? What happened?" Mulder asks.

"I'm not sure Mulder. I woke up on the couch, strangling this pillow." she says holding up the pillow. " But I went to bed, in my room. It's just so scary..." she mumbles.

"Were you outside?"

"Not that I can tell." she says showing him her bare feet. They still throbbed, but they were also clean still from her bath.

"Do you feel funny, or hurt anywhere?" Mulder continues.

"Not really, but I do have this strange chill running up the back my neck. It's cold Mulder. My neck feels so cold, it hurts sometimes." she confesses, running her hand across her neck.

Mulder reaches over and moves her hair, as Scully turns so he can see the back of her neck. It looked fine, but what Scully said was true. Her neck was cold. Cold as ice.

"Do you want to go to the Doctor?"

"No, they wouldn't know what to do." she sighs. " I don't even know what to do." she admitted with a deeper heartfelt sigh.

"Do you want me to call someone? Your Mom maybe?"

"No, actually Mulder--I was wondering if you'de stay here--with me---tonight." she smiles, then fumbles out a quick, "On the couch of course."

"But weren't you sleeping there?" he jokes, trying to make her smile.

"Fox Mulder! That wasn't funny." she says throwing him daggers.

He wraps his arms around her again, this time leaning her back on him. "I'm sorry Scully. Of course I'll stay here tonight." he agrees.

"Thank you for that," she said snuggling into him.

"Anytime." he practically whispers, then leans back even more. He makes himself and Scully comfortable as he lounged way back on the couch. Scully layed back with him, cuddled protectively against his chest, safe. Mulder didn't say another word, just held his partner closely. Thier mutual silence spoke volumes, niether needing to say a word to the other.


Mulder awoke on Scully's couch, Scully nowhere in sight...

'What the hell?' Mulder thought looking around the terribly quiet apartment.
"Mystery woman.." he mused to himself, as he grabbed his jacket off the kitchen

Her absence had him worried.

'Why does she always open up to me, to only walk away and dissapear?' Mulder
fretted, as he peeked around the apartment curiously as he straightened himself
No Scully. No note. No message on the answering machine. Nothing.

'Where is that woman?'

"Work. She's buring herself in work." Mulder thought aloud, then grabbed his keys, heading out the door.


AS mulder walked into his office, there stood Scully, knee deep in files, typing furiously on her laptop.

"Scully? Where were you this morning? Why didn't you wake me?" Mulder asks her.

"I couldn't sleep. I just came to work. You on the other hand, were sleeping just fine." she sneered.

'What's with the attitude?' Mulder thought confused. 'Let's change the subject.'

"What are you working on there Scully?" he says sidling up to her make shift desk.

"Reports you've neglected to file." she states flatly, not looking up at him.

'Oh Shit. She is really mad. Waddido?'

"OK Scully, what gives? What's with the hostility?" Mulder says fed up with the guessing game.

"Hostility? I don't know what your talking about Mulder." she says, typing even faster, ignoring him completely.

Mulder walks over to where she was sitting, and slams the lid of the laptop shut, almost catching her fingers!

"What the hell did you do that for?" Scully says angered.

"Your ignoring me." Mulder says peering at her.

"I am not ignoring you, I'm just trying to get some--" but Mulder cuts her off, by holding up his hand.

"Scully--Please. What is this all about?" he says softly, sitting next to her on the desk.

"What is all what about Mulder?" she spits out at him, crossing her arms across her chest, furrowing her brow.

"You. What the hell is the matter with you? Whats going on? Will you please just trust in me?" Mulder inqures.

"Nothing is the matter with me Mulder. Nothing. I'm sorry I called you. It was just a bad dream." She says standing, walking away from him. " ...And I do trust you.." she added softly.

He took that last coment in, then said gently, "I think it was more than a bad dream Scully. I think you know what it was, and it's scaring the hell out of you." Mulder states as she walks away from him.

She stops dead in her tracks, and turns on Mulder like a Texas Twister.

"How am I supposed to feel Mulder? Huh? You tell me?" she says, looking at him flabbergasted that he could be so dense. " I am in complete compliance with this thing in my neck, I have no control over what is does to me Mulder." Now she's just angry, seething every word at him. "Do you know what it's like, to feel completely helpless, and not understand for a moment why this is being done to you??"

Mulder stood there speechless. She was really infuriated.

"DO YOU?" she screams at him.

"Yes I do Scully," he croaks out.

He remember's his feeling of helplessness, encased in chicken wire, having black gooey slime crawl into every oriface of his body, and take over his bodily functions. He also remember's, not being able to remember what happened after he fired a shot at the Bounty Hunter, and how he felt totally lost afterwards.

He also remember's who was there to hold his hand, and tell him everything would be OK.

"..In Russia Scully..." he said quietly, awkwardly.

"That's different Mulder." she barely whispered, "That's totally different."

"Scully, please," Mulder said sliding up to her side," please believe I'm here for you."

"But who is going to protect me, from something I can't control?"

"I will," he blurts out, "I will always protect you Scully." Mulder says softly, looking into her eyes so she knew he was telling the God's honest truth.

She gazes deeply in his eyes, then drops her head. "You can't protect me from this Mulder. No-one can." she says solmnly.

"I swear to you Scully, I will do everything possible--" but she cuts him off.

"--Mulder please!" she says putting her finger upon his lips, as her eyes become watery, " please don't. You can't protect me Mulder. Not from this. Not this time." she says gazing into his eyes, as they shift back and forth in a vain attempt to not tear up.

Silently her finger leaves his lips, her hand dropping to her side, but thier eyes still delving deeper into the other's. He is petrified by how helpless it all seems, and she can see this. He can't lose her, he just can't. Not again. Not ever again. They have fought to long, and too hard to lose it, and each other now.

'Dear God, not my Scully. Please...for once, not her.' Mulder thought sorrowful.

Suddenly she gets an overwhelming urge to leave quickly. She turns to bolt, as Mulder grabs her about the elbow, turning her around slowly to face him once again.

"Scully please, let me help you through this." he begs of her one last time.

"There is no "this" to help me through Mulder." she mumbles." I need some air." she says pulling her elbow free, and walking to the door.

She pauses at the door, looking up sideways at him, like she wanted to say something. Mulder looks at her expectantly, waiting for her to speak. Instead she looks back down and walks out the door, closing thier conversation behind her.

"DAMMIT!" Mulder yells, and kicks his garbage can across the office to go crashing against the office wall.

Scully wasn't going to let him in this time. She wanted too. He could tell, just because of the reason... she called HIM last night.

But she won't. Fucking stubborn. That damn strict rationalism and science wasn't going to save him this time. In fact it was those very things that now stood in his way.


Title: Nightmare Born 2. Unguarded
Author: LuvN Kses
Catagory: Story
Archive: ATXC, Gossamer are both Ok to Archive too..Anywhere else, or anyone
else please ask permission first..:)
Spoilers: The Red and the Black, Emily, XC, US 5,...eh
Keywords: Mulder/ Scully Angst
Rated : R ..for language, graphic representation.

Summary: Companion piece to "Nightmare Born"...Continuation of the Dreams from "I'm Dana. " Scully,s dreams intensify, and she finds herself in stranger and stranger places...Will Mulder hold up his agreement to always be there for Scully? Only time will tell.

Author's Note:.The song, "Love is a Battlefield" is from Pat Benatar...Its also the song I'm doing my Final A/B Roll edit on....XF Montage..set to this song,..:)..When its done..Ill offer it up for yall to critique...peace enjoy!

We are young.
Heartache to heartache.....we stand.
No promises, No demands.
Both of us knowing.......
.......Love Is a Battlefield........~~Pat Benatar....


"EMILY ! EMILY !! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Scully screams out!!

"MOMMY ! Turn it off Mommy ! It's hurting me !!" Emily screams as she bangs insestantly against the reinforced plexiglass....

"IM trying Emily! Mommy's trying !!" Scully screams as she frantically pulls the plugs to the machines, but to no aviail !

Emily's screams grow louder and louder, as does the whine of the machine as the air pressure increases inside of it! The gage breaks as the pressure has reached max capacity, and alarms are sounding madly, but noone has come to see why they are alarming, or even answer Scullys screams for help.

"HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME !! " Scully screams as she tugs on the Giant Cords, harder and harder, using every ounce of her frazzled strength.

Emilys screams have become earsplitting, the shrill "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY HELP ME!" of a very panic stricken Emily is almost to much for Scully to bear! Unbeknowest to Scully she starts to cry, as she grabs a chair and smashes it down hard on the Insulated Cords as a great "OOMPH" escaped her lips, and when that didn't work, she threw it straight at the window with tremendous force! It bounced off the window, and smashed right into the left side of her face, knocking her down on her back.

"MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY !" Emily screams one last time, as the machine starts to tear her inside out, the pressure of the chamber making her viens throb violently, and her skin start to flake away as though she were ash.

Scully jumps up, and throws herself against the Door over and over and over and over, till she hears no more screaming and falls face first pressed against the glass, defeated, watching her very own flesh and blood turn to a pile of Sand before her very eyes.

Her hands were planted firmly against the glass, tears cascading out from her eyes, knees buckling, as she slowly slides down the glass, and her heart shatters. She started screaming out "EMILY! ...NOOO, EMILY NOO-OO-ooo...NO EMILY Noooooo!" ....she sobs entirely uncontrollably, grief stricken.

Then suddenly, the chamber burst open, and the sand started to blow softly away on a mysterious breeze.

Scully stood helplessly by, grasping at the air, and sinking to her knees as the remnants of the little stranger that was never meant to be, blew past her..threw her...and all over her. Scully lay in the middle of the Hyperberic Chamber room, covered in the dust of her daughter's soul, sobbing and pounding her fists on the ground in sheer fury !!

"WHYYYYYY?" Scully screams! "Why, why...why...." Then a hand touching her, makes her throw her head up startled.

"Scully? Scully? It's OK, I'm here Scully...I'm here." she hears, as someone envelopes her tightly in thier arms.

Scully looks up, and surprisingly see's......Mulder

"Mulder? What are you doing here?" Scully croaks, snapping into reality.

"I could ask you the same question." Mulder smiles.

"Huh?" Scully says confused.

"Your in my Apartment Scully." Mulder explains.

"What?" Scully says looking around. " Oh my God..." she trails off.

"I think you better sit down." Mulder offers.

Scully just stands there for a minute, dazed and staring at the floor, till Mulder takes her arm, leading her to the couch, sitting her down.

"Mulder? How did I get here?" she says looking over at the clock on the table....it read 3:47 am...

"I don't know Scully, you were pounding on my door in hysterics, then fell into my arms when I opened the door. " he relays, more concerned about what caused her to show up here completely beside herself, than how she got here.

"I was?" she says still trembling, not remembering anything.

"You started to tell me, but the only thing you got out before you collapsed into my chest crying, was Emily's name." Mulder says softly.

"Oh God Mulder...Oh God..." Scully says buring her head in her hands at the mention of Emily's name, and starting to cry all over again.

"You want to talk about it?" Mulder offers.

She hadn't been very, well, communicative lately. Since that first night she woke up on the couch, and the day after when she clamed up and walked out on him, she hasn't spoken a word other than work related to Mulder. Suddenly Mulder notices something.

"What happened to your eye Scully?" Mulder says concerned, noticing her left eye, and around her face was swollen and turning black and blue.

"My eye?" Scully says reaching up to touch the swollen socket, then slowly withdrawing her hand. "I don't know.." she trailed off. She didnt know why she was here, she didnt know how she got here, and suddenly, she didnt want to BE here. Scully decides she better get out fast. Mulder is the last person she wants seeing her like this.

"Honestly, there's nothing much to talk about Mulder. It was just a bad dream." she says, trying to force her walls back up, stopping the tears, wiping away any trace of vulnerablility.

"U-uh. Not this time Scully--"

"--Really Mulder I'm--"

"Don't give me any of that, "I'm Fine Mulder" crap tonight Scully. You show up at my door at 3 am , in hysterics, sobbing uncontrollably on my finest silk PJ's," he says looking down at himself, clad only in Boxer Shorts, " Well silk Boxers...anyway...you are not going to get off that easy tonight Doctor Scully." he says and sits next to her gently. "..please, what is going on here?"

"I don't know Mulder," she said convincingly.

"Scullllyyyyyy?" Mulder chimes.

"Oh God Dammit Mulder, I told you, I dont know!" she says standing up, going over to the window, staring out into the dark, cold, terribly blank night.

Mulder follows her quietly over to the window, standing just behind her. He was so close, Scully could feel his breath on the back of her neck. Her neck. God, not again....

"Scully? Why did you come here tonight if you didn't want to talk about it?" Mulder asks softly from behind her.

"Thats just it Mulder..I don't know why I came here. I don't remember waking up, I don't remember coming here, and I don't remember crying in your arms." she says with a hint of terror in her voice.

"What? What do you mean you don't remember?" Mulder says reaching out to touch her elbow softly, " Scully--"

"Mulder...please....don't. I'm fine." she says brushing her arm away from his impending grasp. Tehn succumbing to the thoughts racing in her head. "Mulder...it's.. it's happening again." Scully admits mortified.

"The, um, chip?" Mulder says as tenderly as one could.

"Yes," she whispers, then grabs Mulder's hand, "Feel." she says and places his hand on her neck.

It was Ice Cold. Colder than any day in the Antartic. But eerily, it was even colder than that.

Mulder's hand rested on her frigid neck, as he tried in vain to get the blood to flow back to that spot with a gentle massage. Scully seemed to like the way that felt at first, warm and comforting, and kind of leaned back into the rub. Then suddenly bolted away from his hand again.

" I have to go." she blurts out heading for the door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Mulder says as he dashes in front of her.

"I'm going home Mulder. Please, move out of my way." she says crossing her arms in front of her.

"Scully, you are in no condition to drive right now."

'Did I drive here?' Scully found herself thinking. God, one more thing she couldn't remember. She looks in her houserobe pocket for her car keys. 'Houserobe? I'm in my houserobe?' God. I'm out in public in my houserobe.' she thinks embarrassed, then notices, she didn't have her keys. She had her Mothe'rs Car keys. 'Mom's Car keys? Man, what the hell is going on?' Mulder's soft voice broke her concentration.

"Scully..please, stay here, and let's talk." Mulder begs her, but it was no use. Her mind was set. She had to go, um, to her Moms..? She assumed that's where HER car is, if she has Maragrets.

"Listen, " she says suddenly, and very assuredly, "All the talking in the world wont stop what's happening to me right now Mulder. It's best I just leave." she says and pulls the door open, glances back at him sorrowfully, then heads out the door and down the hall.

"Scully wait!" Mulder says running after her.

She stops halfway down the hall, and throws her hand up in a STOP gesture. Mulder freezes mid-stride, and stares at the back of her head, as she sighs deeply, and her shoulders drop thier defense.

"Mulder, Dont... Let me go..please...Just let me go....." and with that said, she was gone down the hall, only turning to look at him as the elevator doors slid shut.

Mulder stood there, flabbergasted, and beyond words now. He was petrified. He was almost frantic, trying to figure out what on earth was going on with his Partner. He knew, that at this moment, he was cemented out, and all he could do was sit and wait for her to decide to talk. Or risk the rath that Scully may inflict, if he does chase after her. She seemed very adament he leave her alone.

In the meantime, Mulder returned to his apartment, closed the door, and immediately sank into his couch. Somehow he had to try and figure out how he could keep an eye on his partner without her knowing, he was following her. She was going to get killed driving in a dazed stupor, thanks to that goddamn chip, and he had no way to protect her.

The only way Mulder knew how, was to be there threw her every waking moment...but he also knew....Scully would never go for it...

Its going to be a long, long, sleepless night for Mulder....and the first...of many.


Mulder opened the office door expecting Scully to be buried up to her nose in paperwork, and was surprised to find the office empty. The smell of must and dust greeted him this morning, instead of Scully's soft, fragarent perfume.

He walked over and took off his jacket, hanging it perfectly across the chair, and thats when he saw it.

A Note. A Note from Scully.

His eyes scanned the note, and his jaw practically fell open as he continued to read, almost instantly feeling terribly alone. His hand trembled as he read the last few lines, then dropped as though a stone had been hung from it.

"Dammit!" he yells and rushes out the door, letting the note fall to the floor at the foot of his desk, right side up.

The note Mulder scanned, simply read:

I must leave for awhile. I have something rather important to see to, and need this time alone. Please don't try to find me Mulder, I will be unobtainable, and need to deal with this situtation to the best of my knowledge and abilites, and with every passion you exhibit everyday in your quest for the truth. I need to find my OWN truth Mulder, and for once partner, I'm ditching you.

Skinner knows and has approved of my absence, and has told me to take my time returning to work. I will be back, as soon as the situation now presented before me is rec- tified, and I feel comfortable with some decisions I need to make.

Mulder please don't think that there was any way you could have protected me from any of this. You can't, and the only person who can, right now, is myself. I will contact you shortly, when I feel the time is right.

And for all she said in those few words, Mulder of course wasn't about to listen. He immediately headed for the two people he knew would have some idea about the where, who or what, that was bothering the Enigamtic Dana Katherine Scully......

Mulder was about to embark on an adventure of the heart...and a discovery of who Scully really is...


Title: Nightmare Born 3. Whispering Images
Author: Luvnkses
(all titles in this story(ies) are Words liberated from Chris Carter's Poem at the Begining of Christmas Carol. Just borrowing them Chris..Swear.)
Disclaimer: Chris Carter/ 1013/FOX all have the right to kick me in the butt if I dont put thier characters right back where I found them...they own them after all and are a trademark of those fine folks.
Catagory:M/S/Angst (not as intense as the first two Books)
Keywords: Story, M/S
Rated:R, for safety.
Spoilers: Emily, TRATB, XC, US5

Summary: Scully has left, and Mulder, of course, hunts her down. But what he finds, is not exactly what he wants to see.

Note: I have no spell-check everyone, no Beta reader, just do it for fun, and do the best I can at correcting mistakes..excuse , if you please.

Author's Note: Just came up with this story sitting in editing class today..wrote the first two parts in one afternoon..this might take a while longer..:)...the music at the begining is "Iris" (yes again) by the Goo-Goo
dolls...it fit so well...

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
Your the Closest to heaven
that I'll ever be
and I dont want to go home right now


Mulder turned the key in the door of Dana Scully's apartment and entered to find it looking just about the same, as it had earlier yesterday morning.

He walked into her bedroom and noticed nothing out of place, but her closet was empty of her most comfortable clothes. Her dress clothes hung stoicly where Scully had left thier stiff little frames. Mulder reached over and ran his hand down the sleeve of one of his favorite blouses Scully wears, sighing deeply as he did.

He closed the closet and wandered into the kitchen, pressing the answering machine, and finding nothing there but a message from Bill. He shivered at the sound of his voice, and walked slowly over to the living room. His attention was quickly drawn down at the coffee table that held a small notepad. Mulder reached down and picked it up, noticing something had recently been written on it and torn off. Then as he stuck it in his pocket, a voice startled him from behind.

"She's not here Fox."

Mulder spun around to come face to face with Margaret Scully.

"Mrs. Scully. You scared me," he said innocently.

"What are you doing here Fox? You know Dana's out of town," she said kind of harshly.

"I was hoping to find out where she went. Do you know where she is Mrs. Scully? It's important I speak to her." Mulder asks, but is practically begging her with his eyes. Margaret could see it was tearing him up inside...Good...let him stew for once.

"Fox, Dana didn't tell you for a reason, and I don't think it is my place to. She will be back soon Fox, or she will call you. She needed time alone."

"Is she OK Mrs.Scully?" Mulder asked of Margaret.

"No Fox. She is not. But she is strong, and she will get threw this, just as she has done her entire life. Physically, she is fine," as Margaret hears Mulder let out a half sigh, "She will let you know when she is ready to talk to you."

"What did I do Mrs.Scully? Why is she so angry with me?" Mulder asks, but he doesn't think Mrs. Scully knows the whole story about Dana wandering around unconciously, and all.

"Isn't that just like you Fox Mulder, to think everything revolves around you," Margaret snaps, "There will come a time very soon where she will need you, and want you to know what is really wrong." she pauses, taking in a deep breath.

" This has NOTHING to do with you Fox, right now. But when the time comes that she does finally open up to you...well..promise me you won't break my daughters heart by ignoring her pain..because your consumed with only yours?" Margaret half asks, half commands of him, staring at him with that Mother look....that Scully's Mother look.

"Yes Ma'am. Your right." Mulder says hanging his head as Margaret's words stung bitterly in his throat. " I won't keep you. I'll go wait for her to call me. I'm sure there is some work somewhere I can do," Mulder said half-lying, telling Margaret exactly what she wanted to hear.

"Thank You Fox." she smiled at him, then grabbed him by the elbow and led him out of the apartment. "I'll call you soon," she said. Mulder turned to ask her why, but got Dana's apartment door slammed in his face.

"Hmm..." he said aloud, turned around and pulled the notepad from his trouser pocket." Time for a pitstop," he said and took off running for his car.

Carbine, Winchester, and Musket


"YEAH YEAH, I'M COMING!" Frohike screams and goes to look out the peephole, then at the door monitor.

It's Mulder! Right ON!. Maybe he has something interesting....

"Mulder! Come in, come in!" Frohike says offering the Lair to him with one fail swoop of the hand.

"Hey Mulder!" Langly greets him cheerfully, " Hey Mulder, did you hear about--wait a minute...Lone Gunmen, Home of the Magic Bullet newsletter?" Langly says answering a call coming in on his headset.

"Hey Frohike," Mulder spouts, wasting no time, "I have this pad of paper and it has some indentions left from the previous note, but it's so slight and soft, I'm afraid to do it with a pencil..can you make it out for me?"

"Can Mariah Carey hit a high note that'll shatter glass?"

Mulder nods yes.

"Then give me that." Frohike says snatching the note from his fingers and goes to work on the piece of paper. Two minutes later, Frohike was handing him an address. Mulder was flabbergasted. "Wow! Um, can you get me the number to the Owner of the Dodger's?" Mulder says teasing him.

Sure ething. Give me two minutes." Frohike smiles, and goes back to work.

"Do you do weddings and barmitzvah's too?" Mulder once again teases him.

Byers and Langly simultaniously burst out with laughter....


Last night was a horribly twisted version of sleep for Scully, tossing and turning, but thankfully, waking up in bed for the first Morning in 3 days.

In the last week she had woken up on her couch, at Mulders apartment, and at her Mother's house, before she decided enough was enough. She had to leave town. Get away...

Dana finishes dressing in jeans and a t-shirt, something she rarely wears, and now that she is dressed comfortably, she wonders to herself, why?

'Why? Because your always working, that's why.'she sighs inwardly.

She stands and walks down the hall, spying her reflection in the mirror, and stopped suddenly when she didn't like what she saw.

She was pale, withdrawn, large black circles under her eyes....

"God Dana, beat yourself up a little more huh?" she asked aloud to her own reflection. "I know, I don't want to do this either." she again said to herself, then caught herself talking to her reflection.

She shook her head, and walked away from the mirror, the words she had just said, echoing in her mind.

Scully knew what she needed to do. Scully just couldn't bring herself to go. She wasn't there. Nothing but sand there. But she needed to go. She hadn't ever gone. Now was the time......

Maybe if she does go, the nightmares will stop.

Only one way to find out...Go to the damn Cemetary.

She grabs her keys, then looks out the window of the rented house on the beach. The beach looked so damn inviting, She melted into the serene sound of the surf crashing against the shore, the echo of the gulls crying into the wind. Scully decided, rather convienently that she could go later. Just spend an hour reading on the beach. Sounded Devine.

'Excuses, excuses Dana.'

She set down her keys, grabbed her book, and found a beach chair out on the porch. Scully went back inside for a sweater, then headed for the quiet solitude of the beach, smiling and happy.

Yet, as her bare feet touched the sand she froze solid. Sand....Sand on her feet...Sand between her toes...Sand.

She jumped back suddenly as a chill ran up her back, and hit the middle of her neck, icing the chip up immediately. Making Scully shudder.

She had never thought about the significance of the Beach. She just felt she had to get away, and the beach seemed the perfect place. Yet, she had forgotten about the Sand. The beach was all Sand. Nothing But. How could Scully have been so dense? Sand was the last thing she needed to be surrounded by. Or was it?

She closed her eyes, and let the gritty feeling of the sand overtake her senses, awakening every nerve, making her feet tingle...Making her suddenly cry.

Instantly she had images of Emily spinning insanely threw her mind, making her fists clinch tightly into compact little balls, and her teeth grind against each other with a deafening screech.

She sank to her knees, as the nightmares came flooding back to her in numbered droves, overtaking her, overwhelming her. Emily in the exploding chamber...Emily in the burning field...Emily in the overpowered X-Ray...Emily looking at her on that Autopsy table...Emily slowly dissolving into the light...the light...Oh God, she's in the light...then back to the chamber...

Yet Emily's fate always was the same...She turned to sand.

Scully is steadily crying, and collapses down sideways on the beach, sobbing and grinding her fists into the minute' glassy granuals. Tiny echoes of "Mommy please...let me go...Mommy, let me go..." playing threw her head.

Then a flash of Emily going into the light again ...The light...The place Scully was fobidden to go....except...No dont think that way....but it's the Place where she's with Ahab, and Missy. With them, not with me.

"Damn you both. Damn you for taking her with you...Damn it all...Damm you too Mulder!!" Scully screams out, in total agony!

She was angry!! Angry with herself, with Mulder, with her God.

The God she had always trusted in, the God she had always turned too. But this time, she couldn't turn to him, for he was the one that took Emily home. Her faith had been shattered mercilessly when Emily died, and she cries out angrily, " Oh God!!...What did I do to deserve this? Why did you give her to me, to only take her away!"

She got no answer, only the sound of the shore crashing softly against the sand, then slapping her in the face with it's blunt reality...

Suddenly she looks up, and is laying on her back on the sand. ' How could the sun have set so much??' she thought instantly, and jerked her head up noticing that the sun was close to going down...

"Whattha hell?" Scully thinks aloud, looking around at the sun sitting just above the horizon.

"How long have I been out here?" Scully says to no-one again, standing up brushing off the sand that covered her for some reason. She checks her watch. 6:34 p.m. She's suddenly notices she's drenched, but amazingly not cold at all.

"I've been out here for 6 hours?" Scully says and looks around again at where she is standing. Her beach chair and book were nowhere in sight, and she was way, way, down the beach from the Rental House. And pretty close to the water.

"What the hell is happening to me!!" Scully screams out to no-one in paticular. Just pent up frustration releasing.

She looks around, and decides, to hell with the chair and book, she has wasted a whole day already, and doesn't even know what she did. Scully is getting more and more used to waking up in strange places, and that more than anything scared the bejeebers out of her. But right now, she was 100% pure frustration and confusion.

She walked slowly and methodically across the beach, and back down to the little rental house with the green trim. Everything seemed as though it was out of a Rockwell picture. The house, the beach, the surf, the sand, the sounds....all muffled and distorted a bit. It didn't seem real for some reason to Scully. It was like she had a haze over her eyes, and the world was in slow motion.

She finally reached the back deck, and slumped down in a lounge chair. She sat there for a few minutes till she regained her barings, and the world seemed to catch up to her timing. She thought of calling Mulder, but she hadn't done what she came for here yet. She will...soon. But she still had this compelling urge to call him, ask him to be here....now. She was indeed...frightened.

But she didn't, and she really didn't even have to be. Unbeknowest to Scully, Mulder was so close, she could literally reach out and touch him. She just didn't see him yet. But Mulder....he saw the whole thing, from begining, to end.


Mulder had arrived outside the little Beige house with the green trim, just in time to see Scully hunting for the beach chair on the porch. Frohike had run that piece of paper threw his comp and came up with this address, and Mulder was quickly on his way.

He parked just down the street in a beat up junker he liberated from Langly, so Scully wouldn't be any the wiser of his close proximity. He purposely did not want an offical govt. or rental car, so the junker would slip past her attention easily.

Mulder had sat there for a mere 5 minutes before he watched Scully walk happily from the back deck, book and chair in hand, sunglasses on her face, and then suddenly.... just froze solid.

She stood there, for what Mulder percieved as an eternity, then just dropped to the ground as if she had fainted.

Mulder was out the door and over on a little sand hill before you could count to 10, watching Scully cry out and pound her fists in the sand. He stopped short of going over to her, as he realized she hadn't fainted, just collapsed out of grief. But it was tearing him inside out watching her cry like that all by herself.

He wanted to run to her, hold her tightly, smooth the wild crimson strands of her hair out of her eyes, and tell her everything was going to be OK. Just as decided to run to her, she fell forward and was still.... a little too still.

Mulder looked up, his heart racing, watching as Scully lay limp, not moving a muscle. His legs jerked over and over in a series of Impulses, spazzing out of control as Mulder panicked, his legs failing him miserably.

Suddenly she was up, and walking. Walking straight ahead, not bothering to look down. She walked threw glass, she walked threw seaweed. Always stoic, and never flinching in the slightest. Her expression was blank, her eyes glossed over. She walked and walked, and walked...straight for the water.

Mulder watched as she walked straight into the surf, as it crashed hard against her, almost toppling her over. Knee high...waist high....chest high...What the hell was she doing?!

Mulder took off like a bat out of hell, running into the surf, and grabbing on to Scully's arm just as a wave knocked her completely off her feet !! Mulder felt the force of the wave twist her arm in his hands, and he held steadfast...the wave and himself playing tug-of-war for Dana Scully's life.

Scully on the other hand, did not fight, did not move, did not try to swim, nothing, just floated under the water at the will of the open sea. Mulder pulled her arm towards him hard, and he felt her hit his side under the water. He fished under the waves, found her waist and had her head out of the water faster than you can blink an eye.

Scully gagged and spit up water, but did not move, only lay limp and lethargic in Mulders arms. Mulder carried her to the beach, and lay her down, as she shivered uncontrollably, still gagging up water. He layed her on her side, and patted her back, noticing she was breathing on her own. He took off his jacket and lay it across her, it was wet, but it was cover. She just lay there, expressionless, with Mulder's coat over her, dazed and coughing.

After what seemed an eternity, she sat up and looked right at him with this puzzled expression, sand stuck to her face, in her hair, gently falling off her in tiny little clumps. As she continued to stare, Mulder felt as though she was staring straight threw him... She wasn't even really looking at him....

He called out to her, "Scully? Scully?" but she didn't hear him. She looked right at him, but the look on her face was one of fright and confusion. She looked at him almost like she didn't know who he was at all.

"Scully? Scully are you OK? Scully!" Mulder says shaking her till she once again looks up distantly at him. "Scully? Answer me!" he yells at her. She looks up at him, then just looks down at the sand and lays down again on her bed of grains.

Mulder was beyond words, and couldn't fathom why she was acting like this. He wasn't even present as far as she was concerned. He was just a ghost, a figment of her imagination, a spector.

Before he knew it, she had fallen asleep on the warm beach, and Mulder rolled her over onto her back, and dragged her further back on the beaches shore.

He knew now, she needed someone with her, until that chip finished it's tests or whatever it was now doing to poor Scully. Mulder knew he had to stick close, and she was just going to have to learn to like having him close by...all the time. He promised her he wouldn't let anything happen to her, that he would protect her, and Mulder was intent on keeping his promise.

He turned and looked down at her one more time, before going to the car to retrive his things.....


As Scully sat silently on the back deck, she heard the little rental house back door open, and someone walk out on to the deck. No need to be afraid. She assessed immediately by the footsteps, who it was...

"How did you find me?" she asked softly.

"You left the notepad that you wrote this address on, on your coffee table Scully. Sloppy Agent Scully, very sloppy." he teased her.

"Mulder...what are you doing here?" she asked flatly, far beyond amusment.

"I needed to see you Scully, you had me worried. It's a good thing I did too. You surely would have drown, if I hadn't pulled you out of the water." he informed her.

"Drown? Water??" she asked confused.

"Yeah Scully, you just walked into the Ocean, and didn't look back. It scared the hell out of me." he sighed .

"Mulder..I don't remember anything..." she trailed off, in a stupor that this was happening once again.

"Scully, it was like-- it was like you didn't even see me standing in front of you, when I pulled you out. And if you did see me, it was like you didn't know who I was," he said, looking at her so troubled, Scully knew he was really serious, and deathly afraid of what was happening to her.

"Mulder, I--"

"Before you say anything, let me just inform you that I'm not leaving you here alone. Don't even suggest it. Not after what I saw," he said forcefully.

Scully just gazed at him for a moment, wondering how on earth she was so lucky to have a partner who cared so much for her. He has searched to the ends of the earth numerous times for her, and has always came up with her in his arms. She pondered for just an instant that maybe this was more than just coincidence that they were partnered. Then the thought faded, when she remembered why she had come here in the first place.

"Mulder...I don't think I want you here right now. I don't want you to see me like this, no matter what you say," she said sadly.

"I'm not leaving Scully," he said defiantly.

"But Mulder--" but she was cut off by his own forceful words.


"I'm partially responsible for-- it, and there is nothing you can say to me to make me leave here right now," Mulder said with such concern and seriousness, Scully knew it was futile to argue.

"OK Mulder, but just for tonight," she said, fully knowing there was no way he was going to leave tommorow. She walked into the house, and showed him the spare bedroom, that was still had the furniture covered in sheets.

" You can have this bed, my bedroom is just down the hall," she said in defeat, and turned to head into her own room. "I'm really exhausted. I know it's only 6 o'clock, but I'm going to go lay down for awile..OK?" she half asked, half told him.

"I'll be right here when you wake up," he said smiling.

There was just one thing Mulder didn't realize though...He had no way of knowing just how very long that was going to be.


Title: Nightmare Born 4. Nothingness
Author: LuvN Kses
Disclaimer: Chris Carter/1013/FOX own and operate this wonderful show..and I am
truly grateful they do, and boy.... do they ever. No infringement intended.
Spoilers:Emily, XC.
Keywords:M/S Angst/Romance?
Rated: R, for graphic images, language.

Summary: Mulder fight's for Scully's life, while Scully begins the fight for her and her daughter Emily's souls.

Author's note: Again Goo-Goo Dolls "Iris", and I hope you like it...See if you can pick out the reference to Michael Jackson's "Childhood" (which I'm going to use for the next two books)...in this book

All I can taste is this moment,
and all I can breathe is your life,
and sooner or later It's over,
I just don't want to miss you tonight.


Mulder woke in the morning on the couch, his eyes puffy, and sleepy from staying awake most the night. Mulder was instantly angered at himself for falling asleep, and jumped up to check on Scully's whereabouts.

He dashed down the hall quietly, and swung the door to her room open without a sound, and sighed deeply. She was still asleep. Sleeping soundly by the looks of it.

He decided to make some breakfast, deciding it would be a welcome change for Scully if she woke up to the smell of fresh coffee, bacon and eggs.

He finished up breakfast and was surprised when Scully's smiling face wasn't standing in front of him, berating him for making a mess of the kitchen. So...he went in to wake her.

He tiptoed to her bedside, watching as she didn't even stir. He sat down on the bed carefully and reached over to touch her shoulder. She was ice cold....

"SCULLY!" Mulder yells, and rolls her over onto her back. She was breathing, but her color was all wrong, and her skin was so cold. "SCULLY!" Mulder yells one more time, then wastes no time when she doesn't respond.

He grabs the phone, quickly dialing 911. As the operator comes on the line, Mulder starts to bark orders to her, explaining he needed an ambulance, his name, his problem, that Scully was an Federal Agent, and his location, then hung up. All in about 45 seconds.

He threw the phone on the floor then picked Scully up, cuddling her into his arms, hoping maybe he could warm her with his own body heat. After a few minutes he heard the ambulance, and in a panic, ran out to meet the ambulance with Scully in his arms.

The ambulance comes to a screeching stop, as Mulder runs to the Paramedic as fast as he could, all the time telling Scully, " It'll be OK Scully, help is here. You're going to be OK."

"Sir! What's the problem?" the Paramedic inquires quickly when he sees the terror on Mulder's face, practicly ripping the gurney from the back.

He lay Scully on the Gurney that the Paramedic pulled out, babbling, " She went to sleep last night at 6 pm, and this morning I couldn't wake her up! She's Ice cold. She's been having these episodes--"

"What sort of episodes?" the Paramedic asks.

"I'm not sure! She keeps waking up in strange places, not knowing whats going on, or how she got there." Mulder explains as simply as he can.

"OK! Let's get her going!" the second Paramedic yells, as both the Medics load her quickly into the Ambulance. "Are you going with us Sir?!"

"You're damn straight I'm going!" Mulder says and jumps in the back, as the doors slam hard behind him.

In a blur of lights and sirens, Scully was once again on her way to the hospital under mysterious and peculiar circumstances...her Knight in shining armor holding her hand, right by her side.


"Mrs. Scully?" Mulder croaked into the phone.

"Fox? What's wrong?" Margaret says, knowing that Mulder tone of voice.

"Mrs. Scully...you need to come down to Trinity Hospital," Mulder barely whispered.

"I'll be right there!" she says hurridly, and hung up the phone.

Mulder's hand slowly came up and pressed the end button on his cellphone. He unconciously let his head fall back, hitting the wall with a dull thud, as he slowly slid down the wall, crouched behind his knees. His head soon followed suit, falling forward as an overwhelming urge to kill that Cigerette Smoking bastard, and all his meniacle friends came over him.

Scully was in yet another Coma.

Her body temperature was at a steady 95 degrees, her color was a dull, pasty, grey, and she was unresponsive to physical stimuli. Except, so far, Mulder's voice. Her EEG goes nuts, and her legs twitch whenever he walks in. That baffled Scully's Doctors immediately.

The doctors didn't have much hope of her ever recovering though. She was pretty much, vegatative. They didn't even really know what was wrong with her. They didn't have any medical explanation for it, not a theory, not even a guess. Everything they tested for, and all thier educated assumptions left them empty handed. They weren't any closer to knowing what was wrong with the strange Federal Agent in bed two, than they were when she was brought in.

Her body temperature would not rise, no matter how much warmed Saline IV's they fed her, or how many warmed blankets they piled on top and under her. The rest of her vital signs were stable, and the Doctors were even more baffled by that.

The strangest thing yet though, had to be her EEG's. Her brain was deffinitly functioning, and the readings were strong. The rest of her body, unfortunately , was jello. Yet the EEG showed TONS of brain activity, at all times.

But especially when Mulder came into the room.

Mulder slowly slid his backside back up the wall, sighed deeply, and walked back towards Scully's room in the I.C.U. He took a deep breath, steadied himself, and opened the door quietly and extremly slow.

The sounds of the machines and the oxygen hissing hit his senses immediately, making him shudder violently from head to toe. His knees started to shake as he walked over to the chair that had been his prison for the last 7 hours, thanking God Margaret was finally home, and now, on her way.

His calls to Margaret were repetively unanswered, which frustrated Mulder to no end. He needed so bad to have someone else who loved Scully as much as he did, someone who cared unconditionally for her as he did..here...with him. Even if it meant Margaret's anger at the whole situation be reflected at him. He didn't care. He tryed for hours to reach her after they had realized Scully was semi-stable but comatose. But no Margaret.

As he sat beside Scully, he bent down to kiss her forehead and whisper "Scully, I'm here." in her ear.

The EEG immedately registared a response, and Mulder was getting more and more curious as to why she only responded like that to him. He leaned in close, looking mourfully at her withered condition. She had really gone downhill, in a matter of a few hours. He softly talked to her, encouraging her, not letting her know he was staggeringly wounded by her condition.

"Scully...I know you can hear me...The doctors say you can, and I believe they are right..." Mulder pauses. " I hope you know I'm here for you. I'm not leaving you Scully, I promise. Not until you open your eyes and tell me to go home." Mulder says softly, then looks up at the EEG tape. It is registering, but not as wildly as it was when he first walked in.

Could it be, she can actually hear him? Mulder was so hopeful she could, inspired by the Doctors insistance he keep talking to her, that he babbled anything, non-stop, ramblings of a madman....at first.

Then the situation hit him full force in the face, when the Doctor's told him her brain as the ONLY thing that was responding to any kind of stimuli. In fact, it was overresponsive for her condition. And of course there were a few muscle spasms the Doctors chalked up to misfiring, or misdirected elecrical stimuli from the brains overactivity.

After they told him that, Mulder's words were filled with promises and encouragement for her to be strong and fight for her life. A fight Mulder knew she had to win. If only for herself.

"Scully...I promised you I would protect you, and I'm going to keep at least one promise to you in this lifetime. Please help me keep that promise Scully. Please.." he chokes up, then composes himself as her EEG starts to registar wildly. " You have to fight Scully. Fight harder than you ever have for anything in your entire life. Do you hear me? Your too important to too many people Scully. You can't leave us all here to fend for ourselves. Me especially. I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes..." he trails off suddenly, remembering briefly how many times she's saved his ass.

"I don't know what's going on here Scully, but there is one thing I do know. I need you Scully. I need you to watch my back, and correct me when you know I'm wrong, and stop me from playing the fool. Your all I have left Scully..." he says, and then changes his tone a little, trying to sound hopeful. " You've always been there for me Scully, and I feel that you always will be there for me. I just want you to know...I'll always be here for you too, right now, and whenever you need me." he says smiling for some reason, and the EEG calms down a little.

He is befuddled by the machine talking for Scully, translating her brainwaves, and telling Mulder he's saying the right things. In 7 short hours, Mulder has learned to read the EEGs scratchings, comparing them to the tone of the conversation he is having with her.

If he is calm, or happy, or talking insirational things, the EEG was calm, and if he slipped and got a little teary, or upset while he was talking, her EEG went nuts. Sometimes off the page when he first walks in. He is just beyond words at the implications of what he says to her in the next perilous hours to come. It all comes down to her recognition of his voice. What if he says the wrong thing?

He may be the only thing standing between her, and the glorious heavens above.

"Scully?..I called your Mom Scully. She's on her way." Mulder says and the EEG picks up speed. " She loves you Scully. She needs you here. Fight for her Scully. Fight for the love your Mother gave you so unconditionally. The love I know someday you will feel." he says softly, but assuredly, hanging his head sadly.

Mulder finally looks up and the EEG has slowed quite a bit. Yet when he glances up at Scully's face he is taken aback at what he see's.

She had one, very large teardrop streaming down her cheek, pooling into the recess of the corner of her mouth.

Mulder gasped and ran to the door calling out, " I need a Doctor in here!"

A doctor and a nurse immediately come running down the hallway to where Mulder was standing. He doesn't say a word, just walks over to the bed, as they followed him inside.

"She's crying." Mulder says and points to the tearstain down her cheek.

"Hmm. What did you say to her?" the Doctor asks, opening her eyes, and flashing a light across her desolate baby blues. The pupils were still, and did not deviate in the slightest from thier positions.

"I was only giving her reasons to fight..." Mulder said softly.

The doctor turned and patted him on the shoulder. "Mr. Mulder, You're doing just fine. That's what she needs to hear right now. You. But lets try incorporating reading from a book, or talking about family snapshots, something familiar. She responds so well to your voice, at least mentally. We need to keep that alive first. OH! Along with words of encouragement too, of course." he smiles.

That did Mulders heart good. He needed a little praise right now. He was exhausted but refused to give up, and a little pat on the back gave him just the needed boost.

"Will do Doc." Mulder says and salutes him unexpectantly. The doctor laughs and walks over to the Strip of EEG readings spilling over onto the floor, scanning back to find his last mark.

He studies it and shakes his head back and forth saying, " It is unreal how she responds to your voice," he pauses, smiling, as Mulder smiles and blushes for some reason. " She must care about you very much Mr. Mulder. I envy you." the Doctor admits, smiles again hopefully at Mulder, and walks out of the room.

Mulder leans over to Scully, brushes back the fallen strands of hair over her eyes, and looks longingly at his extremely ill partner. He continued to stroke her hair back gently, unconciously watching little strands fall gracefully around the sides of her face, framing it beautifully. She was such a wonderful sight to behold, even this sick, Mulder found himself dumbstruck and smiling.

"You know what Doc, your right," Mulder says aloud, but soft as a whisper, " I Love her too."


I know this place? I've been here before....It's the way to the bright place.

It's the place that forces my mind to think faster than any tornado or hurricanes top winds could ever produce. My memeories of who I am, and what I believe, are swept away in the aftermath, like an imginary broom has come and cleaned them away.

Yet it's path cuts directly towards the soul of my being, ripping away any memories of who that soul actually belongs to. The only thing I know, is Emily.

I know she is here, because I can feel her. I know she is mine, because I feel it like a tidal wave spreads with force and intensity. I know she is lost, and that it is up to me to find her. I know she is hurt, or sick, and confused. But she is watched over by many, as I am watching over her now.

Her presence is one of an eternity, blending and mocking my own existance. Her's is one of honor, and sacrifice, and innocence lost. Mine is of Lies, and Subservience, Science and Faith. A dangerous mixture. Leaves me running around within the lost and found of my heart, mind and spirit.

Emily, I know I must save. And I will not stop until she is safe, within my arms, where the shadows cannot come. Where the EVIL that stalks us both is the captor, and She the dungeonmaster.

My life will never be the same....my life?...what exactly is that?

My life is non-existant, and all I see is the light.

The light?....that's it!...I need to look for her in the light... Don't ask me how I know, I don't even know who I am. I don't know where I am, but the light doesn't scare me... ......I've been here before.

I walk into the light, and immedately into the Bright Place. I love the Bright Place. It is the only place I ever remeber being. And what's even better...everytime I visit the Bright Place, my Emily is there waiting.

She is sitting and coloring, and happily humming "Three Blind Mice." She looks exactly the same, her features unchanged for the most part. Her eyes are happier though, and her smile is genuine now and not forced. She looks up happily at me, when she see's me walk in.

"MOMMY!" she yells, then runs to me and jumps into my arms. I smother her with kisses, and hug her so tightly she giggles a little. I pull her back, and stare deeply into her eyes, as she smiles at me heavenly, obviously happy to see me.

"Where have you been Mommy? We've been expecting you?" Emily says softly.

"I'm sorry sweety, Mommy was trying to find you..." I trail off, almost gulitily.

"Mommy, come see what I colored for you," Emily says tugging on my arm. I follow along willingly, anxious to see what my daughter has drawn.

"Emily," I say as she pulls me over to her artwork," How did you know Mommy was coming to see you today?" I ask her, wondering how she knew I was visiting the Bright Place tonight....

"Papa Ahab told me Mommy," Emily says matter-of-factly, looking at me like I was crazy for asking that.

"You've seen your Grandfather today?"

"Yeah Mommy. Your silly! I see Papa every day. He loves me ya know," Emily says and stops in front of her picture she drew especially for me.

"I bet he does sweety...I bet he does." I say softly as I kneel, and wrap my arms around her, drawing her in close. I kiss the golden tressles on top of her head, and just hold her close for a moment. It felt so....right.

I look down at the floor and notice the drawing she has created and gasp loudly, as the bleak and eye stinging figures on the paper bit harshly at my heart. She had the whole World pictured as Rocky Waste, the whole World barron and Sand laden. A desolate Dune.

Emily is the only figure standing whole. Her aura is brilliant, glowing miraculously...And as I stare, the picture captrues my attention wholey.

When I look up, It is Dark, and the Bright Place is gone!! I look around quickly, paranoid suddenly, and find myself standing on a Dune.

A Dune?

Emily's Sand Dune.......

And off in the distance, Is the vision of my quest, standing in a tremendous light, and radiating this magnificent golden hue.

She turns to look at me, and I know instantly, that my quest is over. The place I now stand, is the place I have searched for.

But it is dark...

My struggle to save Emily's soul from the EVIL in the shadows, is before my very eyes.

And the only thing that will save me, is the light that surrounds her now... Let the games begin...


Title: Nightmare Born 5. Deepest Fears
Author: LuvN Kses
Disclaimer: FOX/1013/ and the fabulously gifted Chris Carter have full control
over these Characters..I just did some funky poaching, and am borrowing them
for a few..I'll put them all back in thier places, with bright shiny
Catagory: Story
Keywords: Mulder/ Scully angst, Romance?
Rated: R, for the heck of it and harsh language...
Spoilers: Emily, XC, One Breath, Momento Mori, Redux part duex...any ep where
Scully is hospitalized.

Summary: Scully is in the Dark Place, facing her worst fears in the only realm where Mulder cannot save her....Inside her own mind.

Author's Note: I used a dream from my very first fic, which nobody read I hope, and revised it of course to fit this fic. So if you did read it, and I hope you didn't, that's why it seems...familiar. If your squimish at
childbirth, the before events or after events, real or imaginary..don't read this...and before you flip out about a (GASP!) baby..it's just a dream...

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.
all the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.


Dana Scully was standing in the Dark Place, frightened, and completely blind. She fumbled around for quite awile, trying to focus into the thick black night. Then finally gave up for a minute, closing her eyes to let them adjust a bit. Yet as she opened her eyes back up, she found herself lying in a forest against a tree, the rain beating down around her.

The Love, the passion, the happiness she felt only a moment ago........Gone...The bright Place, just within her grasp.

She felt very Angry, her heart vengeful, violated. She felt the EVIL was closer, and she could smell It from it's locale. It wouldn't be long now before the EVIL hunts her out, ready to settle this once and for all. And for some reason, she felt ready to take IT on.

She felt the presence of the Evil coming even closer now, someone or something repulsively cursed for all eternity. And it scared her when she finally realized she was really starting to sense IT...Smelling It...hearing It....fearing It...and thirsty for It's blood...She wanted IT DEAD. She also felt another spirit in her presence. Actually quite a few kindred souls, but no-one she knew, or could remember. But the presence that was most prominent, was that of Emily. She could feel her faultering slowly, Emily's spirit growing weak within the Bright Place.

One other Presence was there with Emily, but Scully couldn't make out who. Maybe the presence was a cumulitive soul of everyone whom Scully's life has touched. It felt protective, like it was guiding her. Something gently leading her. Yet, the constant presence of EVIL abounded, cursing the feelings of happiness that were so few and far between in this reality.

She looked around, and found the Evil peering devilishly at her from behind a tree. With every glance from the pure Evil, her anger grew stronger and stronger, her hands balling into lethal weapons. Her eyes were like daggers, piercing the darkness of It's soul. She jumped up to her feet in one quick motion, which startled the Evil, as it ran off from her threw the dense forest.

This is what she came for...The Game....The Game IT started....Now she was going to finish it !!

Scully chase after the Evil, hell bent on catching it, and killing it's twisted soul. She wanted to hurt it, torture it mercilessly like it had tortured Scully for the last Five years. Murderous intentions were rampaging threw her veins, her only thought being, she wanted it dead. She took off in a furious frenzy, running fast enough that she caught site of It's head. She ran faster and faster threw the damp misty air, barefoot, the sweat pouring off her in buckets, stinging her eyes with thier bitter salt.

She could feel her form was slowly changing from who she believed she was, to what they had made her become. A vile, hateful entity. Her heart had iced over and turned to stone. Her will, not the will of the enigmatic Dana Scully any longer. She had gone mad... Dana Scully was transforming into something capable of vengeful hatred and denied totally of remorse or sympathy.

She was focused completely on the chase...She had to protect her. The voice had told her so all along her journey...and she knew what she had to do...She had to catch IT.

The throbbing of her bare feet as it hit the cold hard ground, made her fury intensify with every step. She finds herself changing into something primal, something blood thristy, almost animalistic. Every muscle in her body felt empowered, almost like they were growing with every step that pulmeted her aching feet..

The Evil darts away quickly to the left, scared, out of sight of the transforming Scully. Scully comes to a screeching stop, not moving a muscle, not glancing as much as sideways. She was eerily still.

"You must protect her....Protect her." she hears that familiar voice say again. And again, Scully senses the Evil....

She silently kneels to the ground, pressing her ear to the dirt, and listens. Her heart was beating a jungle beat against her chest, pounding the same two beats over and over, focusing her energy at the task at hand.... Vengence. Then the guiding presence was back. The feeling of a protector being near, gave her even more strength, made her feel very powerful indeed. Scully, or what Scully has become, suddenly darts her head left and spies the Evil hiding behind a tree.

She could sense that it was scared. Even more intense........she could smell his fear. Even more intense........the kill was all she craved now.

She stands upright, crying out in a voice not her own, but a deep, bellowing growl. "ROOOWWWWWWWLLL!" as her eyes bulge out of thier sockets with sheer furious energy.

The Evil, knowing It's been found, takes off running again through the forest, petrified.

Scully sprints after the Evil, her speed increasing with every well-placed step. She can feel the wind whipping at her face, as she follows the scent of pure Evil, gaining on it quickly. She finally catches up to the Evil, grabbing it by the scruff of the neck, tossing the Evil to the ground like a limp rag doll. Scully leaps over to where IT fell, circling her prey as It lays unconcious.

Her strength is inhuman, and her growing muscles begin bulging out of her torn shirt, enraging her further. It felt unreal. The pain from her growing muscles was overpowering. It hurt, yet it felt so good to feel thier awesome rage intensify.

Her prey regains conciousness and squirms away petrified when confronted with the sight before It.

Scully snatches the Evil up into her hands, and shot-puts It into a large Fir tree. The Evil hits the tree with such tremendous force, It slumps into a ball at the base of the tree, It's ribs broken. But the Evil is still concious this time, begging Scully not to hurt It again, as Scully holds back her murderous instincts.

The Evil cowers there, Scully over IT snarling, as she watches her prey struggle below her. She bellows a psycotic, revengeful laugh, as The Evil's eyes grow wide with fright. Scully gets some sick satisfaction out of it's cowardice, and laughs even harder at it's plea's for her to stop.

Scully picks the Evil up by the shirt collar, pulling it up into her face, wanting to see Evil for what Evil really is. What she saw made her want to retch, her stomach twisting into repulsed knots, the image before her making her insane with rage.

The Evil WAS the Cigarette Smoking Bastard!!!!

"PROTECT HER!" the voice of no-one screams out!

She responds by slapping him with such force, it throws his head from side to side quickly. His blood was dripping freely from the open wound on his cheek now, and trickles down her hand to stain his crisp white shirt. But Scully doesn't flinch. She just keeps squeezing his neck tighter and tighter.

"WHY?" She roars "Whyyyyy!" And throws the Cancer Man about 20 feet from her into a little clearing with a violent THUD!

He hits the ground, breaking a leg and arm, instantly returning to squirming, crying, and begging her to stop.

"Please...don't..It wasn't my idea..I was just following order's..."

She hears his declaration, but wasn't responsive, only focused on the need to kill...the hunt....the end of the Game.... She cannot control her fury any longer, and CSM seeing this makes one final Plea.

"Please...don't...don't do it....what do you want? Anything! Just tell me!"

In a voice, a voice of pure homicidal rage, a growl to silence the wildest jungle, she seethes...."It's too late. What Scully wanted doesn't matter any more."

She turns around and is no longer Scully, but some hideous Monster hell bent on revenge.

The Monster from her dreams. The Monster WAS her.

She closes her eyes, making one final fatal leap, lunging at him like a hungry jungle cat !!!! "AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"....

(Flash to Trinity Hospital Delivery Room)


"Good Dana, bear down, only a few more pushes to go," a male voice says, startling Scully.

Scully opens her eyes, only to find herself in a delivery room in the hospital. She looks around and sees Mulder, her Mom and a nurse. She doesn't understand why they are here, or even why she's here? But she feels rather happy...just really, really tired, and has this incredible stomach ache.

Mulder is holding her hand, smiling and panting like a dog . He looks ridiculous and Scully can't help but burst out laughing. But she still didn't realize why she was here??

"...Mulder? ooo,ooo, ow ow OW!" she yells as this excrutiating pain shoots threw her abdomen, making her cringe and she puts a vise like grip on Mulder's finger's.

Her question of where she was, was short lived, as what she percieved as a major contraction hit her head on like a semi truck. No mistaking that feeling..But...It's just a dream..right??...or..is she still in the Dark Place?? Either way..she knew it wasn't physically possible...

Mulder, who was trying hard not to wince at the pain in his finger's, encourages her. "Scully breathe, breathe, hee hee--hoo hoo."

"If your so goddamn g-g-goooood at it Mulder you do it for meee!" She sneers obviously in a lot of a pain. "Mommmm!! Where's my Mom?" She cries.

Margaret grabs her daughter's hand, "I'm right here honey."

"Mom...I can't..I can't do this... How'de I get here Mom??. I can't I can't.." Scully says panting.

"Fox brought you in sweety. You're doing fine honey, It's almost over." She reassures her.

"No, Mom, I'm not fine...I'm not," she says bursting into tears, "I can't do this mom, I'm not ready for this!! ....oooooowwww, Mulllderrr!"

Her contractions are getting closer and stronger with each passing second. Her baby, soon to be born.

"I'm here Scully, I'm here," Mulder says leaning over her.

She Grabs him about the throat, making him gasp in shock.

"You have to protect her Mulder...Protect her...." She growls as another wave of contractions hit her hard.

"Protect who? The baby?" Mulder says extremely confused.

Scully shakes her head up and won forcefully...yes.

'What in the world is my wife talking about?'Mulder thinks to himself, then just shrugs it off.

"O.K. Dana !" it's the Doctors voice, and it startles her so bad, she jumps off the table a little. "This is it..It's time! I want you to push to the count of ten, and breathe out as you push. Push and Breathe, Push and breathe, Ready?"

"Nooooo, I'm not ready.. Mulder.. Mulder I can't do this, I can't.." She begs him with her eyes.

"Yes you can. Push and breathe, just like we were taught." Mulder says sitting behind Scully supporting her back.

'We were taught?'

"On the count of 10, were gonna do this, Together. Ready?" Mulder says coaching her on.

"K...OK..K..." she says breathless, panting, knowing now it was going to happen, like it or not.

"Ready Dana? 10," The doctor starts the countdown.



"You're doing great," Mulder coaches.

"8, 7, 6.." The doctor continues to count.

"Good breathe, Breathe, breathe Dana. You doing fine sweety." Margeret says out of a lack of anything else to say.

"Itt hurrrtttts...oh....!" Scully yells out.

"You're doing great, Honey!" Mulder encourages.

"3, 2 ..."

"Ohhhhhh godddddddd!" she screams as the baby crowns.

"1....OK DANA STOP PUSHING!" the doctor yells.

Scully falls back on Mulder exhausted, the urge to bear down, overwhelming her, consuming her.

"Protect her..." she hears that no-one say again.

"I can't.." she whispers, starting to cry.

"Yes you can." she hears Mulder, and the No-one voice say again.

She wraps her arm behind her, taking Mulder's neck in her hands, drawing his face down close to hers. She was frightenened by the labor, by the baby coming, by the voice commanding her to save little Emily....She knew Emily was the one she had to protect... She knew...but where was she?

Yet it felt to Mulder as though she was holding on to him for dear life. She was crying, and looked absolutely exhausted.

"Mulder, is it over?...no more...I can't..I can't.." she pants.

"Yes you can, yes you can. We've been threw worse things than this." he whispers softly.

"Mulder I can't...I can't save her...You have to protect her Mulder.." Scully begs of him, gazing deeply into his eyes. Not letting her occular embrace falter in the slightest.

Mulder is flabbergasted by what she was saying, and totally confused. 'Poor baby must be exhausted.' he thought to himself.

"OK Dana, One more push." The doctor orders, and breaks the two out of thier locked gaze.

"I cannntttt...I'm tired...please, please." She says and burst into even harder tears.

"You can do this honey." Margaret says holding her other hand, stroking the back of it softly, smiling like only her Mother could.

"One more push Dana, and you can hold your baby!" The doctor encourages.

"Come on Dana, it's almost over ...you CAN do this!" Mulder says, lifting her up a little, supporting her back with his chest.

"Alllllll Riiigghhhtttttt !! " she screams out of frustration, lifting her head, bearing down with all her might.

She pushes back on Mulder, her arms still wraped around his neck, screaming and pulling his face even closer to hers.


The sweat from her brow, was soaking Mulder's cheeks, but not bothering him in the least bit. She was having their baby. Who cares about a little sweat? The miracle before him had his full attention. The miracle in front of him was making him cry.

Suddenly Scully felt a great wave of relief and the horrible contractions subside. She fell back exhausted on Mulder, eyes closed, catching her breath.

A small cry from a newborn infant fills the room........

"ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!" the Doctor cries!

"A Girl!" Margaret says, kissing her daughter's buried forehead, clapping her hands excitedly.

"My Daughter," Mulder sighs, looking at the small life he has created, as tears welled up in his eyes instantly. He was....a Daddy.

"My baby girl...a girl..my baby..." Scully cries, eyes still closed tears flowing freely from them.

She was afraid to open her eyes. She didn't want this to be just a dream. It felt so fullfilling, gave her a sense of completeness. A sense of finally being whole. Her heart was filled with this unmistakable joy she had never felt, and may never feel again. Her body was alive, with the energy of giving someone life...She just didn't want this moment to pass.

She slides her head upward, and opens her eyes, and see's Mulder's loveley face grining at her from ear to ear. She lifts her head weakly, kisses Mulder on the cheek, and snuggles her head against his chest. She feels a little dizzy, extremely lightheaded, but too overjoyed to care. Probably just exhaustion. And she was still here. "Mulder...a girl." She sighs to him, as her eyes struggle to stay open and focused.

Just then the Nurse brings over Scully's little Miracle, bundled tightly in a blanket, crying, and very pink.

Scully takes her Daughter in her shaking arms, holding her close, dotting her head with little kisses. She is overjoyed to finally hold her own flesh and blood, and she almost falls apart when the baby opens her eyes and looks directly into her own.

It was Emily...No doubt about it...'But Mulder's not her---' Mulder snaps her back into what she percieved as reality, by kissing Scully upon the forehead, making her forget that last thought.

"She's beautiful," Scully says looking up at Mulder, "Her name is Emily...Ok with you Mulder?"

"Hi there Emily, " Mulder says, nodding his agreement, as a tiny hand wraps around his finger making his grin widen even more. "She knows me!"

Scully is suddenly feeling very weak, the baby growing very heavy in her arms. The baby felt like a one ton weight. Scully is instantly frightened she may drop her, so she hands the baby to Mulder, who holds her like she was made of porcelain. "She wont break Mulder, She's a baby, not fine china." She teases him. She falls back a little, getting extremely weak all of a sudden. "She is real Mulder....woah..." then stops suddenly.

"You Ok Mom?" Mulder asks, calling her Mom.

"Yeah, yeah, I think so. It's just, I'm so dizzy...."

"Dizzy?" Mulder says more concerned.

The doctor comes over and asks Mulder to excuse him for a Moment.

"I need to expell the placenta Dana, I'm gonna push down on your stomach. This may hurt a little." the Doctor apologizes.

He pushes down on Scully's stomach, causing her to cry out loudly. Mulder hands the baby to Margeret, and walks over taking Scully's hand.

The doctor pushes down again....."Oh My God! Stop! That hurts." She cries out, as the Doctor looks at her concerned.

"Dana, I'm going to have to push some more. Breathe deep and relax." The doctor orders, then goes back to his work.

He pushes on her stomach again, this time as if he were kneading dough. This time the pain was unbearable! As she cries out, Mulder looks down at her, and see's sheer terror in her eyes !!

"Mulder, it hurts, make him stop... Ow..OH MY GOD! ..MAKE HIM STOP!!!.." She cries, tears flowing from her eyes, Mulder standing there dumbstruck.

The doctor kneads again before Mulder could voice his disagreement.

"AhhhhNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Scully screams, sitting upright, then collapsing back upon the table, eyes rolling back into her head.

"SCULLY! Doctor!" Mulder cries out, bending down to lift her head into his arms.

Scully's eyes flutter wildly open and shut, Scully sturggling to speak, needing desperately to tell Mulder something..

"Scully!? Scully? Your going to be OK. I'm here--" Mulder tells her, as she struggles to whisper something to Mulder.

"Mulder--Mulder--Protect her..." she trails off gurgling, then falls limp on the table again.

Just then, the alarms on all of Scully's Monitors go off.

"She's stroking out!! She's hemmoraging!!! CODE BLUE!!!"

Doctors and Nurses come running into the delivery room from out of nowhere, pushing Mulder out of the way. He stood helplessly behind her head, scared to death, her hand clinched tightly within his own!

The alarms go into an even higher pitch of screeching, FREAKING OUT Mulder and Margeret!!

The doctor yells, "SHE'S CODING!!"

Her heart...... had ceased to beat.

Mulder is standing behind her head, holding her hand, screaming at the Doctors and Nurses to help her!!

"Do Something !! FOR GOD'S SAKE HELP HER !" He bends down to whisper in her ear, "Scully wake up...Scully...Scully...SCULLY !!!!"

(Scully's ICU room)

"FOR GODS SAKE HELP HER!!", Mulder cries as the Monitors squelch was piercing his very soul. " Scully wake up...Scully...Scully... SCULLY !!!!"

Mulder is panicked, running his finger's threw her hair, whispering in her ear softly, as the Doctors work frantically around the man that refuses to budge. The man that is obviously and completely devistated.

"Scully please...you can't leave me now.. We've been through to much together, don't leave me...come back to me Scully.." Mulder cries, choking on his own words.

"Sir your going to have to move!" a nurse Commands and physically pushes him aside.

Mulder stands up and moves aside as they Intubate Scully, who by now is blue, and in Cardiac Arrest. The doctor's start pounding furiously on her chest !! Compression after Compression, Defibrillation after Defibrillation, her body leaped from the table, as did Mulder's soul.

"NURSE!" The doctor cries, after the Nurse in question fails to answer him the first time he asked for a Vital's check.

"Wait a Minute! QUIET!" The nurse yells, and listens very carefully. You could have heard a pin drop, the room grew so instantly quiet. "I Got a Pulse! B/P is 30/10 and steadily growing!" she says, and people sprung back into action.

"OK people we got a pulse! Let's stabilize her!" The doctor screams and Mulder just sinks down into the corner of the room, grief stricken and overwhelmed at what just happned.

'It is all that gooddamn chip's fault. Damn them and thier Tests. Damn them and thier Project. Damn them for hurting Scully like this.'

Just then Margaret walks into the room.

She looks at Scully, and then looks to Mulder, who is a total mess. She walks over to him, never taking her eyes off the Doctors who are still working on Scully. Mulder stands, as she stops a few short inches from his face, turns, and they lock eyes. She doesn't need to ask a thing. She bursts into tears, and falls into Mulder, as he holds his grieveing partner's Mother with compassion and tenderness.

"Fox...?" Margeret croaks out, looking up to him as he continued to hold her tight.

"She stopped breathing Mrs. Scully.....her heart gave out. It just couldn't take it..." Mulder sighs, crying with Mrs. Scully.

"Is she OK? Fox? Is Dana OK??! " she whsipers.

"I don't know Mrs. Scully, they're working on her now..." he says, as they both turn to watch the Doctors take Vital Signs, adjust insturments, chart findings and talk among themselves. One of Scully's Nurses goes over to the Attending Doctor, and shows him a thermometer. The doctor takes it, looks at it, shakes his head, and puts it back in her mouth.

Mulder and Margeret grow quiet as they hear one Doctor tell another Doctor, "Her temperature is rising."

"It's about damn time. Finally." the other Doctor says.

Margeret suddenly smiles at Fox. "She's going to be just fine Fox, " she says, putting on that brave face Scully always had when faced with something bad. She wiped away the tears, looking to Fox like she was certain, then back to the Doctors. Her attitude changed instantly when she heard Scully's temp was going up, and that her Vital signs were steadily increasing. "I'm going to go see what's going on Fox. She's going to be OK, She's going to get better and better." Margeret says, and starts walking over to Scully's Doctors.

"I hope your right Mrs. Scully. " Mulder said aloud, but not meaning to say it THAT loud.

Margeret stops, and walks back to Mulder, still smiling. She was such an amazingly strong and brave Woman, Mulder couldn't help but feel a little immature in the company of her. It must be the way she looked him in the eye. The way his Mother never did. The look that gives you a confirmation of compassion...that someone really cares. And he admired her for it.

"Fox. I'm grateful that you didn't listen to Dana's insistance you not find her, and I'm glad you lied to me," she pauses, looking at him with that eyebrow raised in the typical Scully look. Mulder drops his head like she just gave him a Life prison sentence, and she delicately placed her hand under his chin, raising it till his eyes once again met hers.

"You saved her life Fox, and now she is going to be fine, I know it. I feel it... You and I, we'll see to it she is OK," she said softly, letting go of the grasp on his chin, and kissed his cheek before walking away.

For the first time in over 2 weeks, Mulder smiled a genuinely happy smile...that would last quite awile longer, thanks to the Enigmatic Mrs. Scully...But in the next few days, his smile would grow to be permanent.


Title: Nightmare Born 6. Soul Unbound
Author: LuvN Kses
Disclamier: 1013/ FOX and Chris (the man) Carter own all character's in this
fic....I am just, um, expanding on them?.<g>..No infringement intended...
Rated: R for graphic representation and language.
Spoilers: Emily, XC, One Breath.
Catgory: Story.
Keywords: Mulder/ Scully angst, Romance?

Summary: Scully has one last thing to do...say goodbye to Emily. But will she choose to say goodbye to Emily and the Bright Place, or choose to go back to resume her life?

Author's Notes:..Well..I think this concludes the First Story...6 books.. I am thinking of writing a companion piece to these..but so far...the idea evades me...I appreciate all the comments and feedback I have recieved and will continue to write for those of you who did enjoy these stories... see if you can spot the Titanic reference in this fic..:)

I don't want the world to see me,
cause I don't think that they'de understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.


"Fox? Fox?"

Mulder hears someone calling his name, but is too tired to even care who it is. "Fox?" He hears once again, and feels the warm hand of someone gently shaking him. He hadn't so much as moved two feet from Scully in the last week, and this is the first time he's actually slept in over three days.

He raises his head, letting his eyes slowly part into tiny slits, spying Margeret smiling down at him. His eyes blink rapidly, the lack of sleep over the last few days hampering his efforts to focus on her Motherly face.

He shakes his head, wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, and sits up slightly dizzy. He notices that Scully's hand was damn near glued to his, it being pressed into his palm as he slept, and Mulder smiled as he had to pry her fingers from his hand. She hadn't let go...or so Mulder wanted to believe.

He sets her hand down gently, and stretched his back, grunting and groaning as every bone in his back snapped, crackled and popped. He finished by cracking his neck in both directions, then looked up at Margeret who was smiling.

"Mrs. Scully? How long have you been here? What time is it?" Mulder said sleepily.

"It's 11 am Fox. You need to go clean up and get something to eat." Margeret said softly, taking Scully's hand in her own.

"I think I will Mrs. Scully. You'll be here till I get back, right?" He asks.

"Of course Fox, I'm not going anywhere." she whispered, not looking at him, just gazing sweetly down at Dana.

"You call Bill?" Mulder asked wearily, but needing to know. He will most certainly blame him for this.

"Yes I did. He'll be here day after tommorow Fox. He's out at sea. They are flying him home, Via the Red Cross." she sighs. "Go, go get something to eat, before your in the bed next to her."

"I'll be back soon then," he said still not awake, but getting the idea instantly she wanted time alone with Scully. " You need anything Mrs. Scully?" Mulder offered.

She didn't answer, just stood with her back to him, gently rubbing her daughter's head. Mulder opened the door quietly, glancing back at Scully pitifully, then walked into the hall somberly. Mulder spied a chair over by the Nurses desk, and headed for it to sit and wake up a little more. Just as he sat, none other than his Boss rounded the corner. Skinner stopped cold as soon as he spied Mulder. He had never seen his Agent look that bad, ever.

He was an unshaven, pasty, unkempt, nervous wreck of his former self. A total mess, completely disheveled and beyond the point of grief and exhaustion. He was a human shell. A shell of nothing but matter and mass, not energy and life.

"Agent Mulder." Skinner greets him softly, not wanting to startle him.

"Sir." Mulder says flatly.

"How is Agent Scully?" Skinner asks, sitting down next to Mulder.

"Same." Mulder again flatly states.

Skinner stares at Mulder, looking him over from head to toe. He noticed that his fingernails had been chewed to the quick, and his eyes were clouded, distant, and remarkably bloodshot. Skinner decided it was time for him to intervene on Mulder's behalf, before he killed himself unintentionally.

"Agent Mulder, come with me, " Skinner commands, pulling him up at the elbow, starting to lead him down the hall like a kid caught cutting school.

"Where are we going?" Mulder asks, looking back at Scully's room fading into the distance.

"First you're going to take a shower, then we're going to get something to eat. Then with or without your co-operation you're going to get some sleep." Skinner informs him.

Mulder looks up to argue, but Skinner has that, "go ahead, fuck with me" look on his face, that's only reserved for that Black Lunged son-of-a-bitch. So he regressed, and helplessly followed his Boss out the door, and into his car.


"Agent Mulder, you haven't as much as touched your dinner. You're not going to do Scully any good by starving yourself," Skinner said, looking down at the Baked Potato, and the half eaten Prime Rib on his plate.

"I'm sorry Sir, I'm really not hungry," Mulder said looking around confused. All he wanted was to get back to the hospital. "Sir, can we go soon. I need to bring Mrs. Scully this food I ordered her." Mulder says holding up a box of food he ordered to go, making excuses as to the reason he wanted to leave.

Yet Skinner wasn't fooled. "Agent Mulder, you really need to get some sleep--"

"-- I'll sleep in Scully's room. Please Sir, I need to be there." he says cutting him off, but telling the truth.

Skinner eyed him for a moment, then finally gave in saying, "OK Agent Mulder. But only if you promise me you'll get some sleep."

"Deal." Mulder says, and stands to leave. Mulder shifts from foot to foot, Skinner trying to ignore the fact he was standing in front of him. He couldn't ignore him for very long unfortunately.

" You want to go now? " Skinner whines spying his unfinished dinner.

"If you don't mind." Mulder grins, still standing over him.

Skinner throws down his napkin, puts some money out on the table for the bill, and pats his frazzled Agent on the back. "Come on, let's go." he sighs and heads out the door, Mulder close behind.


"FOX!" It's a miracle!" Margeret says running down the hall to him.

"What? What is it Mrs. Scully?" Mulder asks, not knowing what to expect.

"She's responsive to stimuli. Fox, she jerked her foot today when they did thier assesment." Margeret says happily. "I told you she would be OK."

"That is indeed wonderful Mrs. Scully." Mulder says hugging her. "Anything else I should know?" Mulder asked hopefully.

Margeret pulls back a little, but doesn't release her grasp on him. She softly says, "No...One day at a time Fox, One day at a time." she grins hopefully, knowing full well in her own little motherly way, that Scully was on her way back.

She's Fighting. Fighting like she always has fought. Fighting like she never again will.


She had awoken in the Bright Place, exhausted and with every muscle in her body aching. Emily was standing over her with a worried look on her face.

"Mommy? Mommy!" Emily cries aloud as Scully tries to focus. "Mommy, please...wake up. It's over Mommy, it's over," Emily says softly, stroking her Mothers head.

"Emily...the Dark Place...don't go there." Scully croaks.

"Never again Mommy. I promise. I didn't like it there." Emily confesses.

"You've been there?" Scully says, trying to sit up, but too exhausted and confused to try much harder.

"Yeah Mommy. Don't you remember? We were both there. You saved me from the Evil shadow. You killed him," she said non-chalantly.

"I killed him?" Scully sighed not really caring, just feeling very, very tired.

"Yeah, and now I can go be with Papa Ahab, Mommy. He has been waiting for me." Emily smiled.

"I saved you, so you can be with him..." Scully said, but not knowing how she knew that. She only knew that the whole reason she had been on this journey, was to save Emily's soul so that she could be reborn somehow.

Reborn...Re-BORN!...Scully remember's a baby...having a baby...having a baby?....yes...Emily was that baby.

She HAD been reborn, and Scully had died to bring her new life.

"Mommy? Mommy you have to leave now. It's time for me to go." Emily sighs sadly.

"But Emily, I don't want to go." Scully chokes up....

"Scully? Scully?" Mulder says squeezing her hand. "Scully, I'm here." he whispers in her ear....

"You have to go Mommy. It's time to go back now," Emily says walking away from her.

"Emily please! " Scully cries out, reaching out and grabbing her hand.

"Scully? Scully?" They both hear someone say.

"He's calling you Mommy," Emily says, looking up, pulling away.

Scully too is looking up, knowing that voice well, but not wanting to leave this place.

"Emily...I need you Emily! Please... Why did I go threw all this, if not to be with you? "

"Scully? Scully if you can hear me, squeeze my hand." Mulder says and waits for her response.

"To save me and to say good-bye Mommy. You never said good-bye," Emily says freeing her grasp, and walking towards the light.

"...Squeeze my hand..." Scully hears the voice say again out of nowhere.

"You better go now Mommy. They need you," Emily says again.

"Squeeze my hand...." the voice says again, only louder this time.

"But I need you Emily!" Scully yells, reaching out for her again.

"I have to go now Mommy."

Scully is struggling now. Struggling with the voice calling out to her, struggling to hold onto to her daughter she so boldly fought to save. She chooses her Daughter, but someone didn't think it was time for that choice yet. Emily continues to fade into the Afterlife.

"EMILY NOOOOO!" Scully cries out one more time, as Emily starts to fade into the brilliant glow.

"Please Scully, damnit, I know you can hear me!" Mulder says frustrated. "Scully please...please...just squeeze my hand. I need you Scully....."

"Go to him Mommy. He's waiting. He will Protect you," Emily says dissapearing within the light. " Just as you will always protect me, he will always protect you."

"I promise you Scully, I will protect you...always. Please come back to me Scully, please." Mulder says, and lays his head softly upon her hand held within his, and started to cry gently.

"Emily! I want to stay here with you and Papa Ahab! Please, please take me into the light with you!" Scully begs of her daughter, frozen in the place she now stands.

"Not now Mommy. Soon. Soon I will come to get you. But not now," Emily says smiling.

"Squeeze my hand Scully, just squeeze my hand......"

"Emily please!" Scully wails once more, and reaches out for her Daughter who is fading into the light.

"I love you Mommy," Emily says gently and dissapears into the glow. "Now Go! Squeeze his hand Mommy." Scully hears Emily say and instantly she is sucked from the Bright Place!!

She is twisting and turning, zooming past images that invade her dreams. Some horrible, like the dreams of Sand and Snow. Some down right inspiring, like her Father pulling back into port after a long trip to sea, and how he would hold her, and hug her....

Then suddenly she was slung harshly back into her own reality...


"Scully please....please Scully. Just a tiny squeeze," Mulder begs of her one last time, the tears flowing madly down his crimson cheeks.

No response. So Mulder lays his head back down next to Scully's arm, defeated. He lays there, for what seemed an eternity to him, then feels this gentle tap on his middle finger.

Mulder's head jerks up, looking down at his hand in disbelief, as she did it again. This time only harder, and with three of her five fingers.

"Scully?? SCULLY??" Mulder says, running his free hand across her brow, sweeping the hair out of her eyes. "Scully, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand twice," Mulder commands of her.

She squeezes twice.

"OH HOLY SHIT!" Mulder yells, and takes off for the door. "DOCTOR! GET THE DOCTOR IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" He screams at a passing Nurse, then goes back to Scully's bed, taking her hand in his again.

"Stay with me Scully...The doctor's coming...stay with me please." he encourages her, waiting patiently for the Doctor to come and see for himself, what the power of a little love can do...

Margeret is in the ladies room, downstairs from the ICU, freshening up after grabbing a little bite to eat. Not much, just a small salad. She couldn't stomach much more. At least not until her daughter wakes up to eat dinner with her.

She hears the PA system come on and a soft, sweet voice say, "Margeret Scully. Please return to the ICU. Margeret Scully, please return to the ICU," and she drops the bottle of perfume she had in her hands to go crashing onto the floor.

Margeret grabs her purse, swinging the bathroom door open wildly and ran to the stairs. She took the stairs two at a time, reaching the third floor in record time, then running down the hall. She ran over an Orderly, a Phlebotomist, and then smack dab into Mulder.

She started to shove him away also, then noticed it was him. "FOX! What is it? Is it Dana?" Margeret yells in his face, and Mulder just smiles.

"Calm down, calm down Mrs. Scully. She's fine. I thought that anouncement might freak you out, so I came to find you," Mulder said still smiling.

"WELL? WHAT IS IT?" Margeret says in a panic.

"She's waking up." Mulder grins.

"She is?" Margeret says, already in motion, grabbing Mulder's arm, pulling him to the room with her. "Then I guess we should be there when she finally does wake up."

"Yes Ma'am." Mulder agrees, and walks quickly to keep up with the excited Margeret.


'Ow, dear God, what is that light? That really hurts my eyes, I mean honestly....' Scully thinks to herself.

"We are hopeful she'll open her eyes on her own soon." She hears someone say.

"But it's been two days since she moved her fingers. She hasn't responded to anything else we've said." She hears someone else say, and for some reason, that voice is soooo familiar.

"She is responsive to all stimuli, and her EEG readings are back to a normal capacity. We are hopeful that she wakes soon, or she may be in this state permanently." she hears the first voice say.

"I don't care how long she is like this, I don't want you to stop. Try everything possible you need to make her well." Scully hears another voice say, but this voice she immediately recognized.

'Mom?' she thought unconciously.

"So she still has a chance?" the other male voice asks softly.

'God, I know that voice?...but who?...who?...Mulder?...MULDER!' She remembers and suddenly, she is itching to move. Move anything, something, everything!! God she needed to move! She wanted to see her Mom, she wanted to see Mulder. God she wanted, NO! Needed to see them!!

"Of course she has a chance, but she may need to re-learn some things. It all depends on how long she stays at this level of conciousness." the other male voice says.

"She's going to be fine." Scully hears her Mom sigh, and she is just about to explode out of her skin from anxiousness to move. Speak. Stretch.

'IT'S OK MOM! I'm OK! I'm coming Mom, don't give up!' she cries in her mind, and struggles to open her eyes.

They were like lead weights, two ton bricks, like they were super glued shut. She struggles valiantly, and feel's the tension start to ease in one eye, and actually see's the room lights peeking threw her other lid.

"We will check on her progress again tommorow, and we may need to talk then about how to proceed." the Doctor explains, "I'll see you both tommorow I'm assuming?" he jokes.

"Bright and early Doc." Mulder agree's, and Scully hears the Doctor's leave her room.

"Fox, I--" Margeret starts to say, but was cut off.

"Mrs. Scully, can I talk to you over there for a moment?" Mulder says, pointing at the corner.

"Well sure Fox." Margeret says confused, but standing and following him over to the far corner of Scully's room.

'WAIT! DON'T GO! I'm Coming MOM!' Scully begs of them in her mind.

"I don't think we should talk in front of her anymore, only encouraging things, just in case she really can hear us. I don't want her to get dicouraged by anything we might say. Maybe we should also ask the Doctors to conference outside her room from now on. All this talk about vegatative states, and her chances, might not exactly be what she needs to hear right now." Mulder explains.

'I'm Coming Mom! Mulder! Come back! I can feel it! I can see the light! The light of the room!' Scully thinks even more sure she was waking up...then she feels herself try to speak. Nothing would come out at first, but then...

"Maybe your right Fox."

"Mo-om? Mommmm?" Scully croaks out in an almost non exsistant whisper.

"I think it might be better if we try and keep the room joyful, and stress free for her." Mulder says, not hearing Scully.

"Mu-ulder...Mo-mmmmm," Scully rasps, a little louder this time, but still not loud enough. All she can see, is the brightness of the light seeping threw her slitted lids.

"I'll be sure and tell the Nurses. You...you tell those Gunpeople or whoever they are. Especially that Frohike guy, he gets all upset, an-"

"Shhh! Did you hear something?" Mulder cuts her off.

Margeret and Mulder fall deadly silent, as Scully struggles to speak once again.

"M-m-mu-ulderrrrrr." she groans louder this time, "Mo-mmmm, Mommmmmm." Scully gurgles, but was heard.

"OH MY GOD!" Mulder and Margeret say in unison, and rush over to her side. Mulder picks up one hand, while Margeret rushes over and takes her other hand. Both lean over perilously close to her face, puzzled, because her eyes are still closed.

"Scully? Scully? Open your eyes? Say something else?" Mulder begs.

"Honey, It's Mom. I'm here honey." Margeret encourages her, 100% calmer than Mulder obviously was.

"Hurtsssss." Scully croaks, still not opening her eyes.

"She Spoke! I can't believe it!" Mulder cries out!

Margeret walks over to Dana's nightstand, and pours her some water in a sterile plastic cup. Scully's tubes came out a couple weeks ago, except her feeding tube, so she probably needed some water pretty bad. At least to cure the month long cotton mouth, if nothing else.

Dana sat up with Mulder's help and sipped at the water, just two quick sips, and immediately gagged. A Nurse came flying into the room, because her monitors registered the change, and damn near fainted at the sight of Dana coughing.

"OH MY GOD!" the Nurse cried, which seemed to be the catch phrase of the night in Scully's room, and walked quickly over to Scully.

Margeret and Mulder immediately laughed at thier excited stupor, suddenly remembering they hadn't infomed any of the staff she was awake.

"She just spoke, out of the blue, not two minutes ago." Mulder explains.

"Well I'll be...." the nurse trails off, pressing the call button, then taking her vital's and charting them on Scully's file. Another Nurse walks in to answer the light, and stops short of an excited scream, when she see's Scully's eyes starting to flicker open.

"Go get the Doctor. She's waking up." The first Nurse orders the second Nurse, as the second Nurse flee's the room to find the Doctor.

"Ms. Scully? Can you speak to me at all?" The nurse asks, not expecting a response by the look of her flickering lids.

"Y-y-yessss." Scully manages to say, then slowly opens her eyes to see her Mom and Mulder not two inches from her face. Fuzzy images, but she knew immediately who they were.

"Hi honey! Were glad to see you." Margaret sighs.

"Hi Scully. Glad to have you back partner." Mulder smiles at her out of sheer relief, but she didn't seem to be looking at anyone in paticular.

This worried Mulder and Margeret instantly, as they both wait for her to focus on one or the other of them. She didn't. Even if they planted thier faces directly in her line of sight, she wouldn't focus on them.

"Scully? Can you see me Scully?" Mulder asks concerned.

After a few minutes, this smile struggled onto Scully's face and she said simply, "You...ne-need...a-a-a shave. Go home Mullldderrr.." and kept smiling.

Mulder's grin couldn't have spread any wider as she said that. He knew she could hear him the whole time she was unconcious, and just proved him right. Simply by telling him to go home.


"Are you sure you want to do this?" Scully asked Mulder, who was standing by her side, holding onto her left arm.

"If you're ready," he said softly.

"Are you ready?" she asked him back, not sure if she really wanted to do this.

"It doesn't matter if I'm ready. The question is, are you?" he asked throwing the question back at her. Her decision. He would do whatever she wanted to do.

"Not Really, but I guess I have to." she sighed, and started to walk with Mulder in tow.

She walked about 50 feet, occasionally glancing down at the grass, wanting to be anywhere but here right now. She steadied her nerves, swallowed back her tention quickly, and stopped right in front of the place she most wanted to avoid.

The wind was whipping past her ears, causing her to stop and listen to what it was trying to say. She closed her eyes, and listened to the intensity of it's song, screaming threw the leaves, whistling around a corner. It was whispering her name. It made her suddenly reflect on the path she had taken to get here, not remembering anything except what happened after her Coma.

She remember's her speech coming back slowly, and that she practically had to relearn to walk, her muscles were so weak. But Mulder was there the whole way, the whole time, never leaving for more than 10 minutes at a shot. Her Mother too. Margeret was so supportive, never flinching, even if Scully got frusterated and cursed out the heavens above. Margeret would just smile, pat the back of her hand, and calmly say, "Try it again honey."

"Scully?" Mulder says snapping her out of her daze.

"Huh?" she answers.

"Where were you just now? You OK? You sure you want to do this?"

"No Mulder, I don't want to do this. I HAVE to do this." Scully says and steps closer to the place she needed so desperately to be.

She immediately puts her hand up over her mouth, stopping the cry that wanted to escape her lips, and fell back on Mulder who was miraculously standing right behind her. She stiffles an urge to break into tears, and kneels down upon the Grave.

Emily's Grave.

Mulder was instantly on his knees beside her, his arm around her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze to let her know he was close.

She just sat there, silent and looking down at the gravemarker she chose especially for Emily. It said, " God protects the innocent, so they may be free forever." Emily Christine Sim. 1994-1998. It had beautiful little roses engraved into the bottom, flowing on a vine of thorns. She sighed deeply, then reached out her trembling hand to set the tiny white carnations Mulder bought, on her grave.

"I'm sorry baby," she hears herself say, but doesn't feel herself say, "Mommy's sorry I couldn't protect you. I tried Emily, God knows... Mulder and I both tried. " she whispers. "I couldn't do that to you Emily, I couldn't save you, or protect you. What they were doing was wrong, and I didn't want that to be your life." she cries, trying to explain.

To who? Well, only she knew. She and Mulder both knew full well, she wasn't in that grave. But Scully insisted they go. She needed...closure.

"Emily...I'm sorry..." Scully manages to tremble out, choking on each and every word. " I love you Emily. I'll really miss you.." she trails off, the tears really flowing now.

Mulder reaches over wrapping both arms around her, trying to comfort her the only way he knew how. Physicallity. Tenderness. Compassion. He looks down, and see's she is trying unsuccessfully to wipe away the hurtful tears cascading down her cheeks, swiping them away like so many hurtful memories.

Everything grew silent, excpet for the small sobs coming from Scully, who by now has calmed a little but still hadn't risen off her knees. Mulder had seen her expression change a hundred times, from somber, to hopeful, to expectant, to grief filled. She grabbed his hand, and held on tight. Each time her expression changed, so did the amount of pressure she forced upon Mulder's finger's.

Mulder took the pain like a trooper, figuring that whatever her heart was going threw now, was 100 times what his finger's were feeling. Beside's, he wouldn't let Scully go now, for all the Tea in China. Not even if that Cancerous Bastard was standing with a gun to his head. The last thing Mulder wants to feel before he dies, would be Scully holding his hand.

Scully starts to move, and Mulder looks down just in time to see her bend over and kiss Emily's name. Once on her first name and once on her Middle name. Then she ran her hand slowly, and carefully across the length of Emily's full name. She was unconciously wiping away the tears that had splashed down on her headstone as she kissed it, then gently cleaning the rest the dust off with the tissue she held.

She sat up slowly, her face a grimace, her eyes far off in a very, very distant place. Slowly, within a couple of minutes, the grimace began to fade and a sweet, tender look crossed her face. She had done what she came here for. To grieve and say goodbye. The two things she never let herself do.

Mulder had been silent, just watching Scully with a morbid curiosity. But he couldn't help it. He had never seen this side of Scully. He knew of this side, but had never personlly seen it. But he had now, and he was humbled she asked him to go. Only when she was dying of Cancer, did he see a remote portion to this side of Scully. Even after Emily's passing, she was always stoic, strong, and never cried once in front of anyone. At length.

Now she was leaning in close to him, her head buried into his shoulder, her hands wrapped tightly into his lapel. Mulder gently ran his fingers down the length of her hair, playing with a few strands at the end each time, letting her cry. He held her for a good long while, Scully releasing all her pent up emotional frustrations, even pounding on Mulder's chest with her trembling fists occasionally.

Then as quick as she started to cry, she sat back and ceased to cry. That damn stubborness and Scully will power had kicked in and told her, enough was enough. Scully wiped her eyes, and straightens herself as best she could, then leaned in close, kissing the headstone one last time.

"Goodbye Emily," she said softly, but calmly smiling, then rose up off her knees, standing into a stretch.

Mulder stood up putting his arm around Scully, if only to steady her. No need, she was steady as a rock. Then Scully surprisingly did the same to Mulder, wrapping her arm around his waist, and holding on tight.

"You OK?" he asks, as she starts to lead him slowly away.

"I'm fine Mulder." she says per-usual, then stops, turning to face him. He stops with her, looking down at the faintly smiling Scully. "I'm going to be just fine Mulder." she adds, and gives him a quick kiss on his cheek, stretching on her toes to even accomplish that.

Mulder just grins, wraps his arm around her waist again, and leads her away saying, "That's good Scully, because I got a call from A.D.Skinner today. They are cancelling both our Medical Insurance Policies. Seems, we have far too many hospital stays than they allow in one year." he muses, trying to lighten her mood a little.

"Is that so?" she says grinning at him, as they slowly walk to the car.

"Yup, I'm afraid so," he says, trying not to smile.

"Damn, and that was our last chance for Medical coverage too." she joked, glad Mulder remembered to bring along his sense of humor. He always had a way of easing humor into the subject, with his irresistable charisma and charm. And some very bad jokes.

"I guess we can't afford to be in the hospital anymore," he half joked this time.

"Guess not," Scully said opening her car door, then stared at Mulder. "Tell you what. I'll promise to stay out of the hospital, if you promise to try and stay out too." she says over the roof of the car.

"That's one deal, I cant pass up," he agrees smiling, and gets in the car, as He and Scully slam the door on this chapter of thier harrowing lives.


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