Title: The Toddler Files
Author: Unknown

Summary: This story takes place three years after the birth of Dana Scully's baby, William. Now three, William, or little Skinner as Mulder calls him, accompanies his mother who has decided to resume investigating the X-Files with Mulder, since Scully didn't want any alien replacements to kidnap her son. The opening scene takes place in Sandwich, Illinois (yes, it actually exists) where the trio of paranormal investigators is investigating the appearance of UFOs (again).


William whimpered and pushed against the harness of his car seat. "Scuwey, I need toy," he cried as he pointed to the stuffed alien, a gift from Mulder, that had fallen on the floor of the Chrysler.

"No, William, I'm MOMMY," Scully said in an irritated tone.

"Scuwey."

"Mommy."

Mulder snickered.

"Shut up, Mulder. You're the one who started it," Scully replied.

"Sorry, mommy, " he said and handed the alien back to William.

"Tank you, daddy."

Scully groaned. William was something else. So far, surviving the past three years with him had been difficult. William had never slept well as a baby, always crying a one in the morning to be fed. As soon as he could walk, he was into everything. His first word had been daddy, and he used it when referring to Mulder, who had always visited often. The terrible twos involved many tantrums , throwing toys, and tons of messes, all of which Mulder had helped make playing alien colony with the boy. Mulder, was the closest thing to a father William would ever have. Now three, William was becoming more and more like Mulder every day.

Now, the three of them were a family, sort of. Scully had missed working with Mulder on the X-Files, but she had been reluctant to go back to work because of William. Mulder had suggested bringing William along. Scully had objected, at first. Mulder eventually persuaded her to agree with him. Now, she regretted it. What idiot brought a toddler to the middle of nowhere, a place that had people that supposedly saw UFOs?

"Scuwey! Have to go potty!" William screamed, breaking the silence.

"Oh, crap. Mulder, how far is the nearest gas station?"

"Uh, twenty miles."

"Oh, great."

"Scuwey!"

"What?"

"Wet!"

Half an hour later, they stopped at a restaurant. As soon as Mulder unbuckled William, the kid ran off. Scully chased after him.

"William! Come back here! Your pants are still wet!" Scully shouted.

Unfortunately, he ran into the restaurant.

"Mulder, you go get him."

"Sorry, mom, I'm busy."

"Mulder..."

"Scully."

"Look, Scuwey, I gots kethup!"

"Oh my god."

William had gone in the restaurant and grabbed as many ketchup packets as he could fit into his tiny fists. He had ripped them open and now had red goo all over his face and clothes.

"Oh my gosh! That child is bleeding! Call 911!" a woman screamed when she walked out of the restaurant.

"No, wait, it's..." Scully tried to explain.

"What have you done to that boy!?"

Before Scully could answer, an ambulance and a squad car had pulled up. two policemen got out of the car, their guns held up.

"No, wait, I'm with the FBI!" Scully shouted as she tried to find her badge. She had no luck.

"Little boy, is that your mommy?" one of the policemen asked.

"No, dats Scuwey."

"Ma'am, you're under arrest for child abuse."

He cuffed Scully and pushed her into the squad car. They then loaded William into the ambulance and drove away.

Mulder walked out from the bathroom ten minutes later.

"Scully?"


Two days later, Scully was back at home. Mulder had finally figured out where she was and had bailed her out of jail. She didn't talk to him the entire trip home. Scully decided that she'd never take William anywhere ever again without a red shirt and a large supply of diapers, at least until he was toilet trained. Mulder had wanted to come over today, but Scully was still mad at him. How far would he go to make William into a junior paranormal investigator? Scully didn't want to find out. The kid was already a handful. Scully, didn't want him to be spooky, too.


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