Changes Pain Shalom Haver You Have To Keep Living The Afterlife
Just Visiting Sunshine Rearranged Ein Orr La'ila La'ila
Days Pass and Years Go By Yizrach Ha Orr


Shalom Haver: Changes



Title: Shalom Haver: Changes


Author: Rotem Shahar


Feedback: No.


Category: SAR

Keywords: MSR, Character Death


Spoilers: All Things, Cancer Arc, Squeeze, Tooms, Duane Barry, Orison


Summary:

Prequel to Shalom Haver: Pain
Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully don't belong to me. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX. No infringement is intended.

Notes: I actually wrote this a while ago, but wasn't happy with it. I finally got around to fixing it so here it is.


"It's the cancer that got my attention. It stopped me from being on the self-destructive path I was on. It made me realize I was in a field that had little meaning for me and it's what's allowed me to be happy for what feels like the first time in my life."
~Colleen Azar in all things


Scully knew she was going to have to make changes to her lifestyle, but hadn't known how until she talked to Colleen.

"You have to face your fears Dana." Colleen told her. Scully knew she was right. She had to face her fears.

~*~

Scully took out a blank sheet of paper and started writing.

"What am I afraid of?

Being attacked in my own apartment"

She felt her apartment was no longer safe after Tooms, Duane Barry, and Pfaster among many others had broken in and entered, little by little shattering her sense of security.

"2)Feeling lost without my work" was the next thing on Scully's list.

She needed work to keep her grounded. To keep her focused. To keep her alive. She felt like she had no purpose in the world if she wasn't working. She needed to change that. To learn to relax and appreciate life instead of feeling the need to always be doing something.

"3) Being more open with Mulder" came next.

Whether relating to him, relating to a case, or to anything else, she needed to be more open and honest with Mulder about her feelings.

She was scared though. Admitting her feelings was a big challenge for her. One she wasn't sure if she was ready for. Doubts crept through her mind. 'What if he doesn't feel the same? What if he thinks I'm crazy and never wants to speak to me again? What if it ruins our friendship?' Scully knew that him never wanting to talk to her again was irrational, but that didn't make her any less nervous. She knew that it probably wouldn't ruin their friendship; it might make things a bit uncomfortable for a while, but they would stay friends through it all. But it was the first question that bothered her the most. How would she feel if she expressed her love for him and he then told her gently that he just didn't feel the same way? She didn't want to have to go through that.

'That's enough for now.' Scully decided as she put the pen down and placed the paper between two books on her bookshelf. She'd work on overcoming these three fears and make another list of fears.

If she still had time.


The End

Shalom Haver: Pain



Title: Shalom Haver: Pain
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no.
Spoilers: Christmas Carol, Emily
Category: SAR Keyword: MSR, Character Death, AU
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX. No infringement is intended.
Summary: Prequel to: Shalom Haver, Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, Shalom Haver: The Afterlife, Shalom Haver: Just Visiting, Shalom Haver: Sunshine, Shalom Haver: Rearranged, Shalom Haver: Ein Orr, Shalom Haver: La'ila La'ila, Shalom Haver: Days Pass and Years Go By, Shalom Haver: Yizrach Ha Orr,


It hurts to move. It hurts to breathe. If it gets much worse than this I don't know if I can take it.


~*~

They must have given me something. The pain is gone. I'm in my bed. I sense Mulder is sitting next to me.

I open my eyes. The light assaults my eyes. I wince in pain. Mulder notices. He closes the blinds and turns the lights off, instinctively knowing what's wrong.

I open my eyes again. Much better. I can see again. I see Mulder watching me, worry shining brightly through his eyes. I want to comfort him, to reassure him that everything will work out fine, just like it always does, but this isn't like all the other times. We both know I have very little chance of making it through this alive.

He takes my hand in his, threading his fingers through mine. We both need the physical contact right now.


I must have fallen asleep. When I wake up again Mulder is no longer holding my had.

His chin is on my head which rests on his shoulder. His arms are wrapped around me. It feels nice.

I lay there, wrapped in his arms, and think.

I think about how I wish I told him how I felt about him - I still haven't done that yet. I think about how nothing will be able to come of it even if I did - Not in this lifetime anyway. I think about how my life has changed since I met him - everything we've been through together. I think about how many lives we were able to save, only regretting not being able to figure things out faster so less people died. I think about how my life was before I met Mulder - how I wasn't sure I'd made the right choice going into the FBI instead of pursuing a career in medicine. After I met him I knew I had made the right decision.


I can't breathe. He's holding me too tightly.

I gasp for air. He immediately loosens his grip and calls for a doctor. I still can't breathe. He doesn't know what to do.


My head is pounding. But I can breathe. The light hurts my eyes. But I can breathe.

Mulder knows I'm awake. He brushes a strand of hair out of my face and brings me a glass of water.

I haven't had anything to eat or drink since my light breakfast this morning. A day hasn't even passed yet. It feels like so much longer.


~*~

I feel fine. The pain is gone. My eyes are no longer sensitive to the light. My headache is gone. I can breathe again.

The doctor said there would be better days and worse days - I hope that was the extent of the bad. I don't know if I could take much more.


~*~

The End

Shalom Haver



Title: Shalom Haver
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no, please don't send any. I just needed a way to vent my emotions and this was the result. I really don't care for
Feedback on this either way. Categories: SAR Keywords: MSR, cancerfic, character death, AU
Spoilers: Cancer arc Rated: PG Archive: YES, where ever it might end up is fine as long as the headers stay with it.
Summary: Scully's diary entries, then Mulder POV, and a third person POV ending.
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, they all belong to CC and 1013 and FOX....no infringement is intended...
Authors Notes #1: My mom just died of breast cancer and this fic came from my experiences.
Authors Notes #2: you know those fics that you swear you'll never read? well, I'm writing one of those. Cancerfics and Character Death are two of the few types of fics I will not read, yet here I am writing one.
Authors Notes #3: Shalom Haver is in Hebrew. It means goodbye friend, and refers to Yitzchak Rabin. It was a phrase used to express how deeply he would be missed and how people viewed him, so I thought it was fitting. Dedications #1: To my mom. Dedications #2: To everyone who's helped me through this, especially Cathey, who stayed on the phone with me all day Saturday just being there for me.


October 16, 1997

Mulder brings me files and we pretend that everything is fine, that everything is normal. I was transferred out of the hospital and to my mother's house. I'd rather be surrounded by familiar people and objects, not in some sterile hospital room.

I can still walk around the house, but it's hard.

Every few steps I have to rest and catch my breath, everything I do is in slow, painstaking movements...I wonder sometimes if it would be better to be convicted of a capital crime; at least I'd die by painless injection instead of feeling the cancer eat away at my body and seeing my family in pain.

I don't tell anyone about my thoughts, but I'm sure Mulder knows what I'm thinking.



October 17

It's getting harder and harder to do every day activities that most take for granted. I can no longer wander the halls, nor can I breathe on my own. A respirator was brought in. Writing is becoming harder and harder for me. My hands shake as I write, and I'm afraid that they will not be able to read the letters

I am trying to write to them as my final words.


October 18

They offered a 24 hour hospice in home, and both my mom and Mulder thought it would be a good idea. They're telling me that its ok to be weak, its ok to let go. And that they won't love me any less for it.


October 19

I feel the life as it drains out of me. There's a steady stream of visitors. Skinner, Langley, Byers, and Frohike; they all come to visit. Some of my friends from college and high school whom I've managed to stay in touch with have also come to visit. They sit and talk, some pray.


October 20

I can no longer speak. All that comes out is a hoarse, raspy whisper.

I've told everyone not to come visit me anymore. I don't have the energy. I only allow my family to see me like this.

I better tell mom to call Charlie and Bill. I'd really like to see them once more.


October 21

Bill and Charlie booked flights as soon as mom called them. They arrived early this morning. Mom tells me that they didn't believe it was actually happening, that it was true. They come in and sit with me, alternating every hour. I guess that's as much as they could take at a time.


October 22

I've given up on the letters. I can't write more than a few words without needing a break.

Mulder stays with me all day now, he doesn't leave my side.


October 23

I won't let anyone else into the room. More like they knock and if Mulder answers they enter, but if not they leave. He is the only one I want to be with, the only one I want to share my last moments with.


~*~ October 24

She can't eat solid foods anymore. I asked Maggie to run out and buy some baby food so she could eat. It's harder for her to drink also. She needs help sitting up, and must rest before she can take a sip of water.


October 25

Her cries of pain pierce the night. I called the doctor to get him to raise her prescription or to switch her to a more powerful medicine. He switched her onto morphine.

With this switch come side effects. The doctor said that she'd be asleep most of the time and when she woke up she probably wouldn't recognize us.


October 26

Her moans of pain mixed in with pleas for help are almost unbearable. Giving her medicine every four hours is not enough. I need to talk to the nurse about this.

I read to her.

A few days ago I asked her what she wanted to hear, and imagine my surprise when she asked me to read Harry Potter. I was finally able to get a copy of the books today, and I promptly started reading. We're almost done with the first book already.


October 27

When the nurse saw the extreme pain Scully is in she doubled the prescription, without the doctor's orders. When the doctor came in to check up on her, he stated that doubling her dosage was ridiculous and not recommended.

I argued with him long and hard, and finally told him that whether he approves of it or not, I'd be giving her twice his recommended amount.


October 28

The doctor authorized the doubling of her medication today. My long arguing with him and ignoring his prescription seem to have worked.

I would rather her not be in pain and not recognize us than have her in extraordinary amounts of pain that no one should live through and know exactly what is going on.


October 29

She sleeps all day now.

I still read to her. If I didn't I'd feel as though I were letting her down. Not fulfilling my obligations towards her.


October 30

Scully's feeling a bit better, she can breathe on her own again. She asked to be taken off of the respirator. I can only hope that this is the start of a gradual increase in health, but I'm not optimistic.

She's stopped eating. Before, she at least ate a few spoons full. Now she doesn't eat a thing.


~*~ October 31

"Promise me," Scully said, drawing in her last breaths of air, "Promise me that you'll keep fighting."

"I promise," Mulder whispered.

Satisfied with his answer, she slipped away in his arms. And as the silent tears rolled down his cheeks, he knew he had to keep his promise.


~*~

The End

Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living



Title: Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no, please don't. Categories: SAR Keywords: MSR, cancerfic, character death, AU
Spoilers: Cancer arc Archive: YES, where ever it might end up is fine as long as the headers stay with it.
Summary: Sequel to Shalom Haver.
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, they all belong to CC and 1013 and FOX...no infringement is intended...
Authors Notes: Tried to sleep without music...bad idea...I ended up thinking instead. Thought about my brother and how he's been handling everything, and what he might have gone through when he went in to see our mother after she had already died - yes, he knew she was dead - he just wanted to say his final goodbye. Dedications: To my mom.


~*~

Mulder hugged her lifeless body; kissed her hoping he could breathe life back into her lifeless body.

They were understanding. Mrs. Scully and the doctors gave him all the time he needed with her.

He needed to make sure she was gone, to make sure there was no life left in her. To be certain they weren't going to bury Scully when she still had more left to give.

Through his tears of desperation he shook her cold body. "Scully, wake up," he pleaded with her. "Come on Scully, get up," he begged her. She didn't budge. His tears rolled off his face and onto hers. He stared, watching her, hoping that she'd make some indication that she'd felt the tears land on her face. None came. "Scully?" he asked softly, thinking that his desperate tone was scaring her into not answering. He placed his head on her chest, looking for a heartbeat. He found none. "No, Scully, come on, get up, I had you big time, right? That's what you were going to say? Come on, get up," he implored. "Scully, you can't leave me!" he yelled as she violently shook her deceased body.

"Fox," Scully's mother said as she walked into the room. He quit shaking her and she fell back to the bed. The tears flowed freely down both their faces. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered. "You can't leave me."

He angrily wiped away his tears as he moved away from her body, keeping his vigil, wishing she'd wake up and say it was all a joke. Or that she had to fake her death like he did a few years back, but that she was alive and well.


They came to take her body away. At first he adamantly refused, still keeping his faith in her strong will to live, not willing to believe that the cancer had beaten her where fluke monsters, liver-eating mutants, aliens, and the like couldn't stop her.

They insisted on taking her away from him. He drew his gun on them ordering them to step away from Scully and leave the room. They left the room, only to re-enter, this time accompanied by Skinner, who had arrived shortly after the phone call had awoken him. He talked Mulder into lowering his weapon and handing it over, ordering him to take a leave of absence, for as long as he deemed necessary. He held Mulder back as they took Scully's body.

"NO!" Mulder yelled. "You can't let them take her." Sobs wracked his body as he continued "She's coming back. She will be back. She can't leave me."

Mrs. Scully's wrapped her arms around him, offering as much comfort as she could.

"It'll be all right Fox," she soothed. "Dana's in a better place now," she said, trying to convince herself of it as well.


The funeral was the next day.


There weren't many people there. Only Mulder, her mother, Skinner, and the Gunmen; the only people whom she still had contact with. It was a short ceremony, saying what needed to be said, doing what needed to be done. They watched the coffin be buried, all shedding silent tears.

Mulder disappeared after the funeral. He needed to grieve by himself.


It had been a week and a half since they had all last seen or heard from him.

He was at home. The lights were out. The TV was on. The blinds were closed.

He sat on his couch staring into space but not seeing what was on the screen. All he could think about was Scully and the promise he had made her. He didn't know if he could keep it. But he knew he had to. He promised. To Scully. He fell asleep.


She had appeared to him in his dream. She had told him he had to keep living. If not for himself, then for her. Her life had ended too soon, there was more to be done, more conspiracy to be uncovered, more truth to be revealed. If he didn't do it, who would?

He got up off of the couch and got dressed. He was on his way to see Skinner.


"Are you sure you're ready to come back?" AD Skinner asked him. "I have to keep living," he replied.


~*~

The End

Shalom Haver: The Afterlife



Title: Shalom Haver: The Afterlife
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no. Keywords: MSR, AU, cancerfic, character death Categories: SAR
Spoilers: Cancer arc Archive: YES, where ever it might end up is fine as long as the headers stay with it.
Summary: Sequel to Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, and Shalom Haver,
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, they all belong to CC and 1013 and FOX... no infringement is intended...
Authors Notes: I just want to thank Ali for her midnight beta's and just for being there at the middle of the night...when everyone else was already sleeping, when I needed someone to talk to.


~*~

She felt no pain. She was finally at peace. At peace with herself, at peace with her family, at peace with the world. She had no regrets, nothing she would change. She was happy.


She opened her eyes and looked around. She was in her apartment. But something was different. Actually many things were different.

The first thing she realized was that she was no longer in her pajamas. She was wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and socks. No shoes.

The next thing she noticed was that her apartment wasn't an apartment anymore. It was a house. A house like she had always dreamed of having when she was a child. It was two stories; her bedroom and three others were on the second floor.

One of the bedrooms was a girl's bedroom. There were toy dolls on the shelves and a pink comforter on the bed. She looked around the room, hoping to find a clue as to the girl's identity. She didn't find any.


She glided down the stairs.


Downstairs was a big living room/family room, scattered with children's toys and books. She searched around the house, walking through the kitchen, dining room, and guest room and bathroom, looking for the owner of the toys.

"Dana!" she heard a familiar voice call. "I'm out here!" She looked around and saw a sliding glass door leading to the back yard. Looking through the glass she found what she had been secretly hoping for. Emily was playing in the play place in the backyard. The swings swayed back and forth in the light breeze. The sand tickled her toes as it made its way through her socks.

Emily jumped off the monkey bars and into her arms.

"I missed you," Emily told her. "I missed you too Emily," Scully said, hugging her close.

"But now he misses you," Emily told her, referring to Mulder.

"I know, I miss him too," Scully admitted. "But we'll be together again when the time is right," she finished confidently.


She carried Emily inside and sat her down on the kitchen counter. Scully kissed Emily's forehead.

She went to the refrigerator and got out sandwiches, leftovers from yesterday's lunch.


They had gone back into the back yard to play. They were both swinging on the swings when Scully heard Mulder's voice. She looked up. She saw him, standing in front of her. "I love you," he repeated; over and over again, tears pouring out of his eyes. "I love you too Mulder. We'll be together again," she told him as she reached out to hold his hand. His image vanished and a tear rolled down her cheek. "You'll be together again soon," Emily told her. Scully smiled weakly.

"Let's go back inside," Scully said, leaving her tears and sorrows outside. She could be happy here; would be happy here - as happy as she could be until she and Mulder were reunited for all eternity.


~*~

The End

Shalom Haver: Just Visiting



Title: Shalom Haver: Just Visiting


Author: Rotem Shahar


Feedback: no.

Keywords: MSR, Character Death, AU

Classification: SRA


Spoilers: Cancer arc, Arcadia


Summary: sequel to Shalom Haver, Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, and Shalom Haver: The Afterlife,


Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Chris Carter, FOX, and 1013 Productions. No infringement is intended.

~*~ ~*~

Mulder hadn't been to her grave since the funeral.

He'd thrown himself into his work. He had nothing left to live for. Finding Samantha didn't matter to him anymore; Scully wouldn't be there to share his joy.

The only thing keeping him alive was the promise he'd made.


It had been three months. Three months since she had died. Three months since he had seen her. Three months since he had felt complete.


He was helping the VCS with a case. They were stuck. Newlywed couples were turning up dead in their five star hotel rooms. Someone was murdering these innocent people and they couldn't find the killer.

He'd developed a profile. He worked on it day and night, not resting until he was done. He just didn't have anyone to remind him to take care of himself. Scully had always done that. But she was no longer there.


After presenting the profile Mulder walked out of the conference room. Skinner followed.

"How are you holding up?" He asked, showing his worry through his A.D. facade.

Mulder shrugged.

Skinner looked at Mulder.

"Go home." The Assistant Director told Mulder. "Eat something. Get some sleep."

Mulder stared at him.

"That's an order," he added, and Mulder walked towards the elevators.


He didn't feel like eating.

He took a seat on his couch and turned the T.V. on. Finding a documentary on cheetahs, he put the remote down and watched.


He knew he had fallen sleep because the next thing he realized was that his phone was ringing and the documentary had been replaced by an infomercial.

"Mulder" He sleepily said into the receiver. He listened intensely to the person on the other side and finally said "I'll be right there." He grabbed his keys and dashed out the door.


When he arrived at the apartment complex everyone was already there. Skinner had started explaining to them what was going to happen, making sure that they were ready for anything.

Using Mulder's profile and what they knew of the killer's methods, they'd devised a plan that was sure to lure the killer straight to them.

They sent two agents in posing as newlyweds. They had found a pattern in the hotels the killer had chosen. It was the same hotel chain and the killer was moving east.


Mulder was on surveillance duty. He watched the cameras set up in the hallway and in the agents room.

He was bored and his thoughts drifted. He thought back to their case at The Falls. Going undercover as a married couple.

Rob and Laura Petrie.

They'd both enjoyed it, though Scully put up more resistance than he had. He remembered the look on Scully's face when Skinner had first assigned them the case; a mixture of disbelief, shock and a little bit of uncertainty.

He remembered how he felt when he saw that the outdoor light was no longer on; the fear he felt as he ran up the stairs, hoping that Scully was safe.

He snapped back to attention when something moved on the screen.

He looked at the time.

It was two thirty in the morning. The two agents were asleep.

He looked back at the T.V. Screens. The figure was steadily approaching their room.

Mulder called the agents and Skinner, telling them about the figure.

~*~

He raced to the elevator and took it to floor five, and walked to where he had last seen the person on the security screens.


Something wasn't right. He could feel it.

He cautiously headed towards the agent's room.

He lightly tapped on the door and stepped back. The door quickly stepped open and gunshots were heard.


The killer was apprehended and put in jail as the ambulance drove to the hospital.


He awoke enough to realize where he was. He drifted back off to sleep.


He felt the sensation of a warm body lying next to him. He opened his eyes. It was Scully.


"Mulder," she whispered. "Wake up, it isn't time." "When will it be?" He asked. Longing to be with her. "Soon," she said. "But not now."

She kissed him.

"Why can't I stay?" "There's still too much to be done. If you don't do it, who will?"

He kissed her.

"You have to go back Mulder. You have to find Samantha. Find out what happened to her." "It doesn't matter anymore." "But it does Mulder." "No, it doesn't Scully. Not to me. Not anymore." He paused. "I want to stay here. With you." "And you will, just not now," she said soothingly.

"Close your eyes," she told him. He obeyed. "Go back, find Samantha...For me."

She gave him a final kiss goodbye, with promise for the future.


Mulder awoke to see Skinner looking expectantly at him.

"It's about time you woke up," he said.

Mulder groaned. "How long was I out?"

"Three days."


Mulder was released from the hospital two days later.

He went back to his office and pulled out the file on Samantha. He had to keep searching.


~*~

The End

Shalom Haver: Sunshine



Title: Shalom Haver: Sunshine
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no.
Category: SAR Keywords: MSR, character death, AU
Spoilers: cancer arc, Christmas Carol, Emily
Summary: Sequel to Shalom Haver, Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, Shalom Haver: The Afterlife, and Shalom Haver: Just Visiting,
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, FOX, and 1013 Productions. The song in the fic isn't mine either. No infringement is intended.


It was her birthday. He wanted to do something special for her.


"Fox?" Mrs. Scully asked as she knocked on his door. The door slowly opened revealing a disheveled Mulder. "I was going to go visit Dana and wanted to know if you'd like to come along," she told him kindly. "I can't - I need to do it alone," he said, trying to explain. She'd asked him many times before, but he'd always refused. But now, on her birthday, he figured he could at least give her an explanation. He knew it was important to her.

Mrs. Scully looked at him with compassion and understanding.

"I'm sorry. I just can't -" He said. "It's ok Fox," She cut him off. "We all need to handle this in our own way."

He closed the door as she walked away.


A few hours later he left the apartment.


He entered the flower shop and looked around. So many different flowers to choose from; he didn't know where to begin.

He wandered through the isles, picking out the flowers he'd seen at Scully's apartment when he'd been there.

He stopped and stared at the sunflowers. They came in a variety of sizes and he was trying to figure out which size would fit best with the rest of the flowers.

He picked up a sunflower. He put it back down. He picked up another. That one didn't fit either.

Seeing someone out of the corner of his eye, he turned around.


It was Emily.


She stared at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he was thinking, feeling.


In her off beat, squeaky children's voice, she sang.

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey you'll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away."

She walked over to him and picked out a sunflower. She handed it to him and sang the song again.

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey you'll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away."

She knew how he was feeling; how he felt about her and Dana.

A tear rolled down his cheek.

As she finished the song she walked away from him and turned the corner towards the register.

He followed.


When he turned the corner she was gone.


He paid for the flowers and left. He had one more stop to make.


~*~

He arrived at the cemetery, flowers one hand and a plaque in the other.

He slowly approached her grave and set the flowers down in a heart-shaped pattern.

In the shadows someone watched and listened.

Then he placed the plaque in the middle of the floral design.

Tears streamed down his face as he talked to her, told her about how he was dealing with everything, how he felt.

He felt better after talking to her, even if she wasn't there to talk back.

After making sure that the flowers were still in place, he walked back to his car and went home.


Mrs. Scully stepped out of the shadows. She had been waiting there for him ever since she had left his apartment. She was worried about him, worried about how he was hold up, worried about whether or not he was taking care of himself.

She looked at what he had left Dana.

She saw the heart-shaped pattern and saw the plaque in the middle.

"You are my sunshine..." it read.


~*~

The End

Shalom Haver: Rearranged



Title: Shalom Haver: Rearranged


Author: Rotem Shahar


Feedback: no.


Spoilers: Cancer arc, The Blessing Way, Irresistible, Orison, Duane Barry, Ascension, One Breath, Unrueh, Christmas Carol, Emily...that's it I think.


Category: SAR

Keyword: MSR, character death, AU


Disclaimer: These character do not belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX. The song belongs to Limp Bizkit - Rearranged is the name of the song Missy quotes from, off of the Significant Other CD. No infringement is intended.


Summary: Sequel to Sequel to Shalom Haver, Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, Shalom Haver: The Afterlife, , Shalom Haver: Just Visiting, and Shalom Haver: Sunshine,


~*~

Missy came over. In her heart she knew that her sister was there, but never really thought she'd ever see her again.


She heard a knock on the door as she walked out of Emily's room. She had just finished tucking her in. Wondering who it could be, Scully walked towards the door. As she opened the door a look of shock spread across my face. "Dana!" Missy squealed as she pulled her into a tight hug. Once her shock had subsided she welcomed Missy inside.

They talked well into the night, about everything, nothing and anything that came up.

It was about one am when their conversation turned towards her relationship with Mulder.


"You make believe that nothing is wrong until you're crying. You make believe that life is so long until you're dying." Missy sang. "Come on Dana! Stop being so stubborn about it! You know it's true," she told her.

Dana folded her arms against her chest defensively and glared at Missy.

"You've been like that your entire life Dana." Missy said, punctuating the words 'entire life'. "It's nothing new."

She tried a different tactic.

"It's the reason your relationship with Mulder is so complicated."

Scenes flashed in Scully's mind.

Her Abduction. Donnie Pfaster. Gerald Schnauz. Her Cancer. Emily. Along with many other times she'd tried to be strong. Tried to keep her emotions in check, sometimes more successfully than others.

Missy put a comforting arm around her.

"I miss him Missy," Scully told her sister. "You'll be together soon enough."

Their conversation then drifted back to safer topics, such as how their father was doing and when Scully would be able to see him.


~*~

A week and a half later...


Scully had just finished setting the table and had gone to check on Emily when the doorbell rang.

'Right on time.' she thought to herself.

Scully answered the door. Emily hid behind her.

"Ahab" Scully said, throwing her arms around the father she hadn't seen in many years. "Starbuck." Her father said, his eyes tearing. "I've missed you so much," he said as he hugged her tight.

She then hugged her sister, Missy, whom she had seen not too long before.

Scully pulled Emily out from behind her, wanting her to meet her grandfather. She wasn't sure if they'd met before, but it wouldn't hurt to try to make Emily and her father feel as comfortable as possible around each other.

They moved into the dining room and ate dinner.


Emily was quiet throughout the evening, politely asking to be excused when she finished her meal.


"It's all been rearranged," Scully tried to explain how she was feeling. "I mean, first, everyone is there, then it's just Me, mom, Charlie, Bill and Mulder, and now it's Me, Emily and both of you," she continued. "it's just so..." she trailed off, not sure how to phrase her emotions.

Missy lightly squeezed her hand, much like Mulder would do, letting her know that she understood what she was trying to say and how she felt. That she had felt the same way when it had happened to her.

"That's a very.." Her father stopped for a moment, choosing his wording very carefully. "...interesting way to put it Starbuck. Rearranged. It's..." He paused again. "...fitting," he finally decided.

She smiled, glad that they both understood what she was trying to convey.


~*~

They had left shortly after their conversation, with promises to see each other again soon.


Mulder. She hadn't stopped thinking about him. She was constantly worrying about the trouble he'd get himself into without her there. Luckily, Skinner and her mother and the Lone Gunmen were doing a pretty good job of keeping him safe for her.

It was comforting to know that he was safe, even if he wasn't with her.


~*~

The End

Shalom Haver: Ein Orr



Title: Shalom Haver: Ein Orr
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no.
Spoilers: Christmas Carol, Emily
Category: SAR Keyword: MSR, Character Death, AU
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX. No infringement is intended.
Summary: Sequel to: Shalom Haver, Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, Shalom Haver: The Afterlife, Shalom Haver: Just Visiting, Shalom Haver: Sunshine, Shalom Haver: Rearranged. Prequel to: Shalom Haver: La'ila La'ila, Shalom Haver: Days Pass and Years Go By

Notes: Ein Orr is also Hebrew, it means there is no light. It's from a song by Achinoam Nini called Nocturno. My mom used to listen to this song all the time while she was ironing or folding laundry or whenever. A different song on the cd popped into my head two nights ago and wouldn't leave me alone, so I raided the cd collection and took a bunch of cd's that she's always listen to. I've had this cd in the cd player ever since.


~*~

He felt the darkness envelope him. He was drowning in it. He welcomed it.


It had been another false lead. Another one of many.


The Gunmen had gotten a tip about the whereabouts of his sister. They were weary. Unsure of its reliability.

They told him anyway, realizing this was a mistake too late. They could no longer do anything about it.


He left their headquarters in a hurry, not heeding their warnings, needing to find out the truth.

A man had spotted his sister in Boulder, Colorado, staying at a resort near the park. He said that he'd make sure she'd stay there until someone came to verify her identity.

He booked the next flight possible and went to his apartment to gather a few necessities.

The flight passed with feelings of dread, anxiety, anticipation and fear.

What if she didn't recognize him? What if she did? What if she didn't want to see him? What if she did? What if she didn't want to be part of his life? What if she did? What if she didn't hate him for not being able to protect her all those years ago? What if she did?

What if it wasn't her? What if it was?

What if she missed him? Missed being part of his life. Missed talking to him, growing up with him, seeing him every day. What if she didn't?

He didn't know which scared him more.


He'd been through this before. Many times. Each false lead had felt so right. He was so sure that they had found her this time. That he'd know the truth. That his search for his sister would finally be over.

He hadn't lost hope.


He was upset. Frustrated. Angry.

They had tried to warn him. He hadn't listened. They'd attempted to tell him that they didn't know how reliable the information was. He hadn't listened. They wanted him to wait a little bit longer before doing anything, so they could determine if it was true or not. He hadn't listened.

He vowed to listen to the next time.

He didn't think he could handle another false lead. False hope. More heartache.


Scully.

He yearned for her. He wanted to be with her.

She always knew what to do; how to make him feel better, even if she didn't know what was wrong. She could cure anything.

He missed her.


~*~

The End


Shalom Haver: La'ila La'ila
Title: Shalom Haver: La'ila La'ila
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no.
Spoilers: Christmas Carol, Emily, Dreamland
Category: SAR Keyword: MSR, Character Death, AU, Mulder POV
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX. No infringement is intended.
Summary: Sequel to: Shalom Haver, Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, Shalom Haver: The Afterlife, Shalom Haver: Just Visiting, Shalom Haver: Sunshine, Shalom Haver: Rearranged,

Prequel to: Shalom Haver: Days Pass and Years Go By,

Notes: My dad really pisses me off sometimes. Gotta get all this...energy...out of my system.


~*~

It's been a year. An entire year since she...Since she left me. I still think about her every day. She's an integral part of me. I can't let her memory fade.


She came to me last night. I saw her. In my dream.

I was running. Running from an unknown assailant. She saved me. Even in my dreams she's my savior. She lifted me into the air and we flew away together. We ended up in an open field. Flowers were blooming. Her sister was there. She was swinging in a tire swing that was hanging from a tree branch. Emily was sitting in her lap giggling.

Scully and I sat down in the midst of the flowers. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her towards me. I trailed soft kisses up and down her neck and she sighed contentedly. We were happy.

Rain. It started as a drizzle, and quickly worked its way to a full blown thunder storm.

Missy and Emily had vanished from sight, and Scully and I ran. I wasn't sure where we were going, but I realized I had to follow her.

I knew we weren't there yet, where ever there might be, but she stopped running.

"Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car? Settle down and live something approaching a normal life?" She asked me. "Yes." I told her honestly. "I do." She looked up at me, tears welling in her eyes and raindrops streaming down her face. I kissed her. When we finally broke apart I realized that it had stopped raining.

The rest of the dream passed by in a haze, I don't remember much of it, all I remember is the feeling of joy, elation - Scully and I were together.


I was ready to give up that night. Give up the search for my sister and end my life. Ready to join Scully through my death.

When I woke up this morning, that urge was gone, I was ready to continue my quest, my journey, and knew that I would join her when it was over.


~*~

The End


Shalom Haver: Days Pass and Years Go By
Title: Shalom Haver: Days Pass and Years Go By
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no.
Spoilers: anything having to do with Samantha...but the XF explanation doesn't exist.
Category: SAR Keyword: MSR, Character Death, AU
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX. No infringement is intended.
Summary: Sequel to: Shalom Haver, Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, Shalom Haver: The Afterlife, Shalom Haver: Just Visiting, Shalom Haver: Sunshine, Shalom Haver: Rearranged

Notes: I wrote this at a seminar type thingy that my friend invited me to. It was about relationships and love and it gave me ideas.


~*~

He found her. After all his searching, the quest was finally over.


~*~

She was found seven years after her abduction by a couple of construction workers, getting ready to tear the abandoned warehouse down. She was in a coma; unresponsive.

After calling the ambulance they checked for any clues as to her identity. They found none.

They admitted her into the hospital as Jane Doe and rushed her in to see the doctors. They found signs of sexual abuse and torture.


A week later she woke up.

They asked her questions. She didn't know the answers.

She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember her name. She couldn't remember him, her family, her life before her abduction. Nothing. She had blocked it out and couldn't bring herself to uncover the memories.

One of the doctors suggested that a list of names might jog her memory.

The next day a list of names was given to her and she spent the entire night reading and rereading the list, hoping to find a familiar name.

She was about to give up for the night when a name on the first page caught her attention. Ann. That had to be it. Her name was Ann.

They gave her a list of last names.

Her file was changed from Jane Doe to Ann Miller.


~*~

The Lone Gunmen were following a lead. One of their sources had given them this information, and they followed up.

A list of names appeared on their computer screen. They were all patients at the same hospital over the course of twenty years. They were seemingly unrelated.

The Gunmen dug deeper into the patients' medical histories and found the link. They had all had similar cases of memory loss. They were found in different locations, but in the same condition. Their assailant had not been found.

Pictures came up with each person's medical files. The trio scanned the list, trying to figure out why they were given this information.

They found Ann Miller's picture.


They worked until Mulder arrived, knowing he would want her current location. He would want to see her, speak to her, make sure this wasn't another clone or trick.

Byers had just found her address, along with marriage records and children's birth certificates.


~*~

A tumult of emotions coursed through him.

Anger. Frustration. Devastation.

But through these emotions, he felt complete. He found out what had happened to his sister. She was alive. She didn't remember, but she was alive. Married. With children. Leading a normal happy life.

He had found the truth and it was time to move on.


~*~

The End


Shalom Haver: Yizrach Ha Orr
Title: Shalom Haver: Yizrach Ha Orr
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no.
Spoilers: Christmas Carol, Emily
Category: SAR Keyword: MSR, Character Death, AU
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX. No infringement is intended.
Summary: Sequel to: Shalom Haver, Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living, Shalom Haver: The Afterlife, Shalom Haver: Just Visiting, Shalom Haver: Sunshine, Shalom Haver: Rearranged, Shalom Haver: Ein Orr, Shalom Haver: La'ila La'ila, Shalom Haver: Days Pass and Years Go By,

Notes: Yizrach Ha Orr is Hebrew, literally translated as the light will come up. It's from the same song as Ein Orr - Nocturno, by Achinoam Nini. Wow, two fics from the same song in one night! She's good! heh. I was in bed but couldn't sleep so I put the cd on and the ideas just came and wouldn't let me sleep till I wrote them, so I wrote.


~*~

He felt strange. Happy. Content.

Where did this come from? He wondered. Samantha didn't remember him, her childhood, her family; she didn't want to hear from him or see him ever again. Yet he felt happy.


He got up, out of the bed he was laying in, and realized he was in a master bedroom. Where am I? He asked himself.

He walked out of the room wearing jeans and a t-shirt; he was barefoot.

He wandered through the rooms upstairs, not understanding where he was, who lived here or how he got there.

As he walked down the stairs the boards creaked and groaned under his weight, alerting the others to his presence.

Scully's eyes lit up and she rushed out of the kitchen to greet him.

As soon as he stepped on the landing she chastely kissed him and pulled him into a tight hug. They both reveled in the familiarity of the embrace.

After a few moments he pulled away from her and looked at her. He found what he was looking for and pulled her against him once more.

"It's you," he whispered in her ear. "It's really you."

"Yeah, It's really me Mulder," she confirmed.

She felt his tears in her hair. Looking up at him she saw him smiling. She kissed him again. A few seconds later they broke apart. Scully grabbed his hand, commanding that he follow. He did. He didn't plan on letting her out of his sight ever again.

She led him into the kitchen where she had been preparing lunch before he arrived. As she finished making sandwiches, Mulder looked around some more. He saw more toys laying around, but no children. He looked at Scully, silently asking her for an answer.

Before she had a chance to reply Emily came bounding into the kitchen asking "Mommy? When's the food gonna be ready? I'm hungry!"

Her eyes drifted over to Mulder as Scully answered "In a minute sweetie."

Emily walked over to Mulder and gave him a hug. "I remember you," she said.

"Well, I remember you too."

"You wanna come see my toys?" She asked him exuberantly. He looked to Scully, as if asking permission. She nodded at him and he replied "Sure" as he got up to follow her.

A few minutes later Emily and Mulder were disrupted from their world of make-believe by Scully calling them to lunch.

It was their first meal as a family.

The End.



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