Title: ...and a Million Years Gone By
Summary: They say the bond between mother and child is immutable. Can Scully's bond with her babies give her hope for the future?
Category: MSR of course:)
Disclaimer: No they don't belong to me, all things X belong to CC and 1013 productions:)
Authors notes: Wow havent written in awhile, and this just kind of flowed out of me:) The song excerpt and title here are lovingly borrowed from a beautiful and moving Beth Chapman Song called "Sand and Water".
"...and a Million Years Gone By"
They are everything to me, these two precious spirits. Arising from the ashes at the very moment of their birth. A long and laborous journey they took me as they turned my world on its end. The night melded into the day as the light faded into the shadows. Years I spent searching for what it was that made me whole. What was my truth? My own precious reality? I treasured the times when I could open myself up and expose the depths within me. But many times I was frightened to the core, to be left so cold and alone. And after an eternity without, I lived with my truth. Saw my reality every day when the light arose and the dawn beckoned. But all too soon it was to fade again into the shadows, leaving me hopelessly alone.
Alone I was not, for my spirits were thriving within me. Unbeknownst to me, they were alive and well, my heart beating with their every pulse. The darkest times would soon follow. The empitness that i felt was too much to bear. I would cry for him night after night, wanting to share something of what i was just beginning to understand I was left to wither in the dark, to hope without hope of tomorrow. For tomorrow was another day...another day to be feared. And when it seemed the danger had passed, and the spirits were alive and well, I grew very ill. And again the dark settled upon my tired soul. My breath became shallow by the day and the world weighed heavy upon my chest.
I held me knees with my hands as the voices filled the room. They told me to continue, that without them I would be left in the dark forever. That there was truth if that is what I sought. All I had to do was be willing to open my eyes. Oh God I had tried so long to open my eyes. To believe in something much greater than what I could ever possibly be. But then he was taken from me and my eyes grew weary of the light.,
My first daughter made her entrance at 11:21 pm on May 5th 2001. Her sister joined her mere moments later. I had two beautiful baby girls. They each had a sister. I felt the pang in my chest as I remembered my own.
I stare into their soulful eyes and can't help but see a glimpse of the past. Emma was named first, for she was the first to be born on what would have been Emily's 7th birthday. Lily, or Hope as we lovingly call her, endears me with her father's eyes. As I hold them close to me now, I can hardly remember what it was like in the dark. There is so much light. We are still alone in this world, the three of us...but as Emma brings closure to the past, Lily brings hope for the future. And as I lay my tiny daughters in their bed, I remember the song I sang for their sister that fateful night in December. Unshed tears well in my eyes as I curl up on the floor of the nursery.
"All alone I, came into this world
All alone I, will someday die
Solid stone is just, Sand and water baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by."
A tear slips down my cheek and I know that they are everything to me. These two precious little spirits. From the moment of their birth as they arose from the ashes of my life, saving my soul. I look to them for my truth, and for the promise of tomorrow.