Title: Protection 
Author: SunReyes 
Category: DRR, smut, angst 
Rating: NC-17 
Disclaimer: In no way am I making 
money on this fic and of course I don't own the characters, except 
for any I've created solely for the purpose of this fic...I do have 
some rights, don't I? And if you don't get the meaning of the title 
by the end of the fic, you're a little too young to be reading this!

Summary: This is a response to scifinerdgrl's challenge for a 
DRR fic in conjunction with New Years. 

~*~*~

New Years Eve 
Monica Reyes' Apartment 
December 31, 2002

There's a soft knock at the door. I look at the clock, quarter to 
nine, and know immediately who it is.

"What brings you here?" I quip as I pull open the front door to see 
John with a bottle of champagne.

"The new year," he quips. "I brought you onto the X-Files, and had 
it shut down" he says with a laugh. "The least I could do was 
spend the night with you," My eyes widen, "that's not what I 
meant." 

"Come in," I tell him, and shut the door behind him. I take the 
bottle from his hands, it's already chilled. "Why don't I get some 
glasses?"

"Sounds good," he replies. "You don't have any fireworks 
around...?"

"I'm fresh out," I respond with a smile. "I wasn't planning on 
anyone coming over and asking..."

"I'm sorry. I can leave if..."

"Don't be silly," I tell him. "It's nice having you around."

~*~*~

11:53 P.M.

We sit beside one another, drinking champagne and watching TV. 
We flip on the ball fall watching to see 2003 light up.

"Do you ever wish we'd have done things differently?" John asks 
me.

"Sure, but with my luck the outcome would be the same."

"What about us?" His voice drops a notch.

"There's always next year," I point out, almost in a joking manner. 
"We many not have the X-Files back but at least we haven't been 
separated," I state. I move to get another glass of champagne and 
see John following me into the kitchen. Our eyes move to the TV 
screen as we hear the shouts of 10...9...8...and at 7, I can't wait any 
longer. I push John up against the wall as my lips crush his. I feel 
his fingers in my hair, and the shouts of 2003 on television.

"You couldn't wait a few more seconds?" he teases and my lips 
fuse with his once again.

"Nope," I answer as my hands reach beneath his shirt to feel over 
his skin. My hands press him firmly against the wall as I pull his 
shirt up on over his head. His hands move to support my lower 
back and I pull my own shirt up and over my head. "You ok?" I 
question as his eyes hold a look of concern and fear behind those 
depths of blue.

"Yes." He nods, "I've been waiting a long time for this."

"Me too," I reassure him. I press a soft kiss to his neck and work 
my way down his body. "Just relax," I tell him.

"Maybe I could if we were some place a little more comfortable," 
he quips.

"Alright," I tell him and lead him into my bedroom. "Sit," I state 
and move in to straddle him. I press him back against the bed as 
my hands travel to the button on his jeans. I move off to slide 
them down and next I work on his snug fitting boxers.

I move off the bed to pull off the rest of my clothes and keep my 
eyes on John the entire time. I slip back onto the bed and John 
pulls me into his arms. "I wasn't planning on this. I didn't bring 
any..."

"It's taken care of," I reassure him as we roll around beneath the 
sheets and John ends up beneath me. My hands snake down his 
skin, feeling over every ounce of him. I feel him slip inside of me, 
as we begin our dance together. Thrust after thrust, we roll around 
and John pins me beneath him. His hands feel over my breasts as 
his lips brush and tease mine. I feel his fingers slip lower to feel 
our thrusts and drive me wild with a single touch. I feel our two 
bodies joining as one as we reach oblivion together. Within a few 
moments I feel John roll off and I drift off to sleep beside him.

~*~*~

I awaken to an empty bed and let out a soft sigh, he's gone. John 
was the last person I would have ever thought that would just up 
and leave. I pull on my robe and look out the window. Sure 
enough John's car is gone and there's a great deal of freshly laid 
snow, covering the street while he's been away.

How am I going to face him at work come Monday morning? 
Should I act as though nothing happened? Was he not ready for 
this next step in our relationship? How could he not be ready? 
This has been coming for nine years!

~*~*~

"You're in late. Is everything ok?" John asks as I enter the 
basement office. It's been at least a month or so since that night 
and everytime I've tried to bring it up, John changes the subject. 
Every chance I get to invite him over, he gives me a new excuse.

"Everything's fine," I respond dryly. "I just had a doctor's 
appointment."

"Oh?" he responds, almost with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Yes," I tell him, leaving out the fact of why I was being seen, I'm 
going to be having John's baby. As much as I want to share this 
excitement with him, I don't want him to only stick around because 
of the child. I'm also a bit reserved over the matter because I did 
tell him I was using something. I know I shouldn't have lied to 
him, but a lot shouldn't have happened like it did over the past few 
months, and I've almost given up with trying to resolve things. 

"John," I begin and he looks up from the paperwork, "we need to 
talk."

"I know. Can we do it later?"

"We always `do it later'." I retort, "I know you're having second 
thoughts," I spit out. "Just tell me whether you love me or not. If 
you don't, I'll have my bags packed by five."

He grows incredibly silent, not giving me the answer I desperately 
want to hear. He goes back to his report, as though nothing's 
happened. I turn on my monitor and type up my letter of 
resignation to hand in to Skinner. It's not like my dream job is 
around anymore, I let out a sigh, frustrated and tired. I know the 
X-Files may eventually open up, but I can't wait around. Least of 
all not while being pregnant with John's baby. 

~*~*~

Once I've moved back to Mexico, my family took me into raise my 
son Jamey Luke Reyes. They helped me every step of the way, 
including financially. I considered telling John but I couldn't go 
through with it. I wanted to pick up the phone, I even tried dialing 
once or twice but I couldn't have my heart trampled on again. If 
only he loved me.

~*~*~

When Jamey turned three, Brad found his way to my house 
through Assistant Director Skinner, and proposed. I couldn't say 
yes right away, but I wanted Jamey to have a father to look up to.

After we married, Jamey always assumed Brad was his dad, never 
asking about his biological father. My love for Brad was more of a 
love towards a friend then a marriage partner, but I did what I had 
to do. I wasn't perfectly happy, but I was far better off then alone 
and raising a child. I think Brad knew that as well, but he acted as 
though Jamey and I were the world to him. 

The first three months we stayed in Mexico City, but I knew Brad 
wanted our son to have a proper education. We moved back near 
D.C. but I never spoke of or saw John again. Brad was still with the 
government, but never brought up what he did with the bureau, 
and I no longer cared to ask. I knew if something was going on, he 
would tell me. 

I began to wonder if John quit the FBI or transferred, but I soon 
learned to forget about him with Brad lusting after my affections. I 
never knew how Brad found out about Jamey, he didn't seem at all 
surprised that I had a child when he came to the door, but I was 
more than grateful that he knew. Brad made a great father even 
though I knew he never wanted children, something that always 
kept us apart and made me long for another man.

~*~*~

Five years later, a month after Jamey's eighth birthday, I got the 
dreadful news that Brad was injured during a shoot out involving 
three of the FBI's most wanted. We went to the hospital, but 
Brad's condition worsened. I knew he wouldn't make it. 

Something within me told me it would all be alright, but I couldn't 
see how. Jamey was devastated by Brad's death. He saw his father 
die, and only grew withdrawn and depressed. Jamey reminded me 
of how John behaved when Luke died. I couldn't help but cry 
myself to sleep as I felt even more alone then the night I moved to 
Mexico and left D.C.

~*~*~

December 22 of 2012 came and I held my breath, in fear of the 
alien colonization that we spoke of years before. I saw a ball of 
fire in the sky and knew the battle was here and now. I always 
believed that if the end would come, John would have been there 
with me through it. I went out to the front step to watch the sunset. 

I heard the porch door open and Jamey joined me to hear the story 
of his biological father John, and my life as a FBI agent before 
Jamey was born. This was the first time I spoke aloud of John but 
Jamey nodded his head in understanding and knew all along. He 
told me that night, he heard my soft cries before Brad moved in 
with us, and thought it was because his father had died.

After the golden haze that lighted the sky, a complete and utter 
silence swept over the porch. I ushered my son inside, knowing 
that this was the moment where good or evil would take over. 
What some would call alien. Somehow a secret still to this day, 
good prevailed, as it always should in the end.

~*~*~

December 31, 2012

A soft knock interrupts our New Year's festivities, watching 
television and snacking on some good old junk food. Jamey jumps 
up to answer it and I keep an ear out to hear who it is. I hear 
Jamey's words that it was an old friend, after he had shut the door 
on the strangers face. I let out a sigh and shake my head. "Did 
you care to get a name?" I laugh and Jamey shrugs.

"He didn't give one. I figured it wasn't anyone I knew, so unless it 
was during this life of yours while being an FBI agent, it was some 
sales person."

"On New Years?" I question. "That's odd."

"That's what I thought too Mom." Jamey tells me and takes a seat 
munching on some popcorn. I glance through the window shades 
and see a man sitting on the steps of my front porch.

"Jamey stay inside," I tell him. He nods and I open the screen door 
and feel my stomach flutter at the sight of who's sitting all alone. I 
feel a surge of electricity course through my veins, and let out a 
breath. The stranger turns to me as I take a seat on the bench and 
let out a soft breath of air.

"What brings you here?" I ask and his soft blue eyes pierce right 
through my core.

 "Because the world didn't end."

"So instead of spending the last days with the people you cared 
about, you spent your time trying to save something that..." I let 
out an aggravated sigh at a losing battle, especially with someone 
who doesn't feel the same way.

"I've never stopped loving you," John whispers out and I let out a 
sigh.

"Then why did you let me leave all those years back?"

"It was the right thing to do. I'm glad to see you've moved on," 
John tells me, eyeing the front door and Jamey standing inside with 
his face pressed against the window. As soon as my eyes meet his, 
he runs back in to the living room to keep from getting into 
trouble. "Even though I wish we could be together, I'm glad you 
and Brad had the time that you did with your son."

"John," I whisper out and wipe the tears away. "You knew about 
Brad?" I question.

"Yes. I'm so sorry," he tells me and looks away. I move down to 
sit beside him and turn his face towards mine.

"What is it?"

"His death," John chokes out, "was my fault. That bullet was meant 
for me, and if only..." John trails off with a look of pain in his eyes 
and in his heart.

"I'm sure Brad did it because of Jamey," I tell John. "I think he 
wanted him to meet his biological father."

"Jamey?" He questions nodding towards the house, "you mean 
he's..."

"Yes, he's your son John. Jamey Luke Reyes." I tell him and John 
gasps out with soft tears in his eyes. "He only knows about you 
since a few days ago," I say softly. "but I don't want you to come 
into our lives to shatter our family apart again." I breathe out. "I 
can't take that again. Not this time." I shake my head no. "I need 
to know I won't miss out on another ten years and I can't do that to 
my son. Have you ripped from his life. He's already lost one 
father."

John's hand reaches up to brush away the tears on my cheeks and I 
involuntarily flinch at his touch. "Monica," he whispers out and I 
let out a soft breath of air and feel John's lips move towards mine. I 
pull away reading his face.

"Not again," I tell him. "I can't go through with this. I needed you 
when Jamey was born. I needed you as a friend, and after all those 
years we knew each other, you just let me walk away."

"I wanted to come see you, but I couldn't get any information 
Monica."

"Brad certainly did," I point out in an exhausted and angry tone.

"Monica," John whispers out, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you and 
Jamey. I certainly never knew he was my son. When I heard Brad 
and you were married, I didn't want to ruin what you had. I was 
happy you were with someone that could take better care of you 
then I could. I couldn't have you chasing after me and following 
me on cases that would endanger your life. It wasn't right."

"It should have been my decision," I seethe out. "I agreed to come 
work with you, and you should have respected my integrity and my 
devotion."

"I did," he whispers out. "I just knew after that night together that I 
couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you. I did what I 
needed to do. To know that you and our children could grow up in 
a world not filled with fear."

"But no one can protect their children one-hundred percent."

"Your right, but I couldn't take the risk that these supersoldiers 
were going to destroy our lives," John tells me.

"What now?" I ask him. "I can't accept you with open arms. I'm 
just not ready, if that's what you're looking for."

"I know," he tells me, a pang of hurt highlights his eyes and I let 
out a breath, not being able to see his pain only brings me my own. 
I shut my eyes and press my forehead to my hand. I feel John's 
fingers move my head to his shoulder and I let out a soft sigh.

"I need to know how you really feel," I tell him.

"I've told you I loved you and I still do. You're dancing around the 
issue."

"Which is?"

"Do you still love me?" he questions.

I let out a breath, I can't hide the truth from him. After ten long 
years, my heart still beats as strongly as it did when I first saw him. 
"Of course," I breathe out.

"Do you trust me?"

"I don't know," I spatter out. "I did...but after Jamey."

"I swear I didn't know he was mine," John pleads with me. "I'd 
have been over the minute I found out otherwise."

"I know," I breathe out. "I know."

"Why did you tell me you were protected that night? I might have 
pieced it all together sooner."

"I said it didn't matter, not that I was protected," I answer him.

"No, you didn't."

"Yes I did," I retort and nod my head.

He lets out a laugh, realizing it doesn't matter much any more. 
"You do know why I'm here?" He moves an errant strand of hair 
behind my ear as I let out a breath and hear Jamey knocking on the 
glass. My head turns around to see Jamey signaling for me to 
come inside.

"In a minute," I tell him and he gives me this irritated look and runs 
back towards the TV. "He really is your son." I tell him. "I can 
see it in his eyes, and his short temper," I tease. "You want to come 
in?" I offer.

"You don't mind?"

"No, but I can't promise anything," I tell him.

"Alright." He nods and walks in after me. "There is something I 
need to tell you though."

"Go ahead. Any more secrets?" I tease.

"Did you hide Jamey's birth to me because you thought I would 
feel obligated to marry you?"

"Yes," I breathe out. "I didn't want our son to become between us, 
and I was afraid you might not have wanted him. Especially after 
Luke."

"I couldn't be more thrilled and surprised," he says with a smile. 
"The real reason I came tonight though," he whispers out, "was 
because it's New Years and was the first and only night we spent 
together and this time the first one with certainly that the world 
would be in good hands and protected. I needed to know that 
before I could move on. I needed to know that another child 
wouldn't be sacrificed because I couldn't live with a heartache of 
such magnitude."

"You needed reassurances that don't exist in the world," I point 
out.

"I needed you there beside me," he whispers out and takes my 
hand as I lead him into the living room to introduce him into 
Jamey's life and mine again.

The End