Title: We Who Remain Carry On
Author: Neoxphile
Rating: R with NC-17 aspirations
Spoilers: Seasons 8-9, but becomes AU 37 minutes and 42 seconds into
Existence
Category: Angst! Slow building MRR; Character Death
Feedback: no thanks. Maybe later?
Summary: Scully dies giving birth. Doggett doesn't love Reyes. Mulder
and Reyes are thrown together for all the wrong reasons.

We Who Remain Carry On
Act One: Scrabble

Prologue-

Blood on snow. That was the first image his mind fastened on, but he
soon realized his error. It wasn't snow at all, rather it was the
clean white linens Reyes had found when Scully had gone into labor.

About the blood, however, his brain had been correct.

End prologue-

**

May 20th, 2001

The first thing Mulder heard when he finally found them was not "you
have a son." It was Reyes' half-hysterical voice speaking to someone,
a 911 operator. "There's so much blood, too much. I'm afraid she's
bleeding to death."

Bursting into the room, he saw that Reyes was right; birth wasn't
supposed to be that bloody. As he rushed to Scully's side he barely
heard Reyes tell him that they promised that an ambulance would be
there in 30 minutes. He glanced over at her. How could she be standing
in a sea of blood, talking about minutes?

Holding Scully's pale, limp, hand, he knew that 30 minutes wouldn't be
soon enough. Even as he spoke to her, pleading for her hang on,
assuring her that he loved her above all else, a cold rational part of
his brain insisted that he face reality. She was going to die, and
there was nothing he or Reyes could do to alter the course events had
been set upon. Nothing.

The ambulance wailed into the driveway within 20 minutes. Scully was
already gone, her life snuffed out like a candle.

As EMTs came in and went through the motions, he kept expecting her to
open her eyes and smile, amused by the joke she'd made them the butt
of. Never had he so long to be proven wrong. Never. After a time the
EMTs spoke in whispered council, shaking their heads. "I'm sorry." One
of them offered. "Where is the child?"

Mulder started at them in puzzlement. Surely there were no children in
that abandon town. Then the fog of grief abated slightly; they meant
his child. His and Scully's. A panic then filled him. He hadn't seen
or heard a baby. Had Billy Miles or one like him stolen his only link
to Scully? Or worse, had death come for not one victim, but two?

Ten seconds before Mulder's panicky grief would have destroyed him,
Reyes reached into a cradle that had been shoved in a dim corner like
an abandoned plaything. The creature in her hands gave a heart-broken
bleat as he reached for it. His child. Scully's child.

To his relief, the child looked normal. Nothing like those things in
jars that he and Doggett had discovered. Nothing like alien babies
that Scully told him about fearfully one night.

"It's a boy." Reyes said, her voice husky, her brown eyes filled with
unshed tears. "She said she'd like to name him for your fathers, if it
was a boy, but I don't even know the name."

"William." He said, studying the baby's face. He couldn't find a trace
of anyone he knew. "William Mulder and William Scully."

The EMT who said he was sorry spoke again. "We'll have to bring your
son to the hospital, but if you need a few minutes, we can bring...
the mother out to the bus now while you have some time with the baby."

After an eternity, Mulder nodded. Scully would have wanted him to
focuses attention on the living. Their son. Reyes.

As soon as the stretcher was outside, and the door closed, Mulder
looked at Reyes. "Show me your neck." He demanded harshly.

The hand not cradling his infant son hovered near his waist; if she
refused, he would shoot her. Not that it would have had much effect on
her if she was one of them. It would be something, an alternative to
his helplessness, and that might be enough.

To his relief she grabbed her hair with one hand, pulling it aside to
reveal a smooth neck that contained no more bumps than it ought to.
She was as human as he was. "I didn't kill her, Mulder. She was just
too weak and bled too much."

"I had to be sure." He whispered.

They let him ride in the ambulance too. It seemed perverse him that
William and Scully were transported in the same vehicle. Living baby
for the nursery, dead mother for the morgue. The last glimpse he had a
Reyes for three days was that of her weary face framed by one of the
door's window.

**

Once they took William away to the nursery, Mulder didn't know what to
do. If his life was a compass, Scully had been the needle. With the
needle broken, he was useless and could tell no direction. For an hour
or so he paced the corridors of the hospital, trying to gather his
oh-so-elusive thoughts.

Eventually, one of the nurses came out and spoke to him. "Your son is
fine, but we'd like to keep him 48 hours for observation."

"Why?" It was a two-year-old's meaningless question, but he didn't
feel much brighter.

"No matter what the circumstances of a child's birth, we like to keep
them for a day or two to make sure they don't have any health problems
that aren't immediately evident. Things like a heart condition or
hydrocephalia might not be diagnosable immediately." She seemed
suddenly aware of the horror in his eyes because she hastened to add,
"Not that the baby doesn't seem perfectly healthy."

"I see, a policy to cover the hospital's collective butt." Mulder's
heart-rate slowed back to normal.

All of the sudden, a new worry hit. "How am I going to get him home?
You're not supposed to fly with a newborn, right?" Scully had checked
all the websites, when they thought they might go on a vacation over
the summer. They all said two to three weeks at the youngest on a
plane.

"It's usually not advisable. I suppose you'll have to drive." 

Ten hours by car with a two-day-old baby. Resisting the urge to throw
a tantrum, he merely nodded. "Okay. I'll have to buy a carseat
tonight."

"Does the baby have a name? If so, perhaps you might like to see a
clerk to fill out the birth certificate."

Mulder didn't know why she suggested that just then, but then, there
could have been a connection, and he'd just missed it. He felt like he
was missing a lot of things.

The nurse lead him to the clerk's office, but before she left she
stopped and looked at him. "Have you informed Ms. Scully's family
about...passing?"

It hadn't even occurred to him yet. "No." 

"If you would like, we can have a doctor tell call." 

Deep in his soul, Mulder was convinced that Maggie Scully would hate
him if he let a stranger tell her that her daughter had died. "I, um,
I want to call her mother. But could you have someone call her partner
at the FBI and her superior?"

"Of course, Mister Mulder." She waited while he wrote down Doggett and
Skinner's names and numbers on a scrap of paper. It was probable that
Reyes had already informed both men, but he thought it would be good
for them to hear it from an official source.

Fifteen minutes later, Mulder left the clerk's office, after having
spelled out his son's first, middle and last names for him. It was the
first time he'd ever seen the word "deceased"next to a mother's name
on a birth certificate.

**

"Maggie, it's Fox." 

She was on her guard from the first word. "Is there something wrong?" 

"Yes..."

"Did something happen to the baby?" Her voice was laced with panic.

"The baby is fine. He's perfect. It's Dana. I'm so sorry, Maggie. She
died."

"How did it happen?" 

"I'm not sure yet. So far they're saying 'excessive blood loss during
delivery' but they'll have to do an autopsy to know for sure."

"So it was giving birth?" Maggie paused so long that he thought the
connection had been broken. "I thought you were going to say that it
was job related."

"No, just human fragility." 

"Yes." Another pause. "Fox, do you mind if I make the funeral
arrangements?"

He marveled at how calm she sounded; maybe it was just numbness. "I
don't mind at all. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'm going to
be checking into a hotel soon, so I guess you should call me on my
cell if you need to talk to me. They say I can take William home in
two days."

"You named him William." 

Mulder couldn't tell if she was pleased or not by the name choice.
"That's what Dana wanted."

"I'll see you in two days, Fox." 

**

Gasping, Mulder woke in a cold sweat, alone in a strange hotel room.
He struggled to sit up so he could turn on the light. A glance at his
watch told him that it was 4am, and he was reminded that he'd been
meaning to get a watch with an illuminated dial for a while. It just
kept slipping his mind.

Thinking of something as mundane as timepieces calmed him a little,
because it helped loosen the grip his dream had on him. It wasn't
really a nightmare, but it was even more devastating in its own way.

Somehow, in the dream, he and Scully had been mysteriously transported
from Georgia to her apartment, without the inconvenience of travel
with a tiny infant. It was supposed to be the first time he saw his
son, and they were saying all these pretty dreamlike things about the
baby. A joke about the baby looking like Skinner, an exchange about
them knowing the truth about William all along...

Mulder threw himself back onto the mattress. This was not the time to
be thinking about what might have been. The baby needed him to keep
his thoughts on the future as it would be. Still, it would be nice to
let his thoughts linger on a pleasant lie. It took until his cheeks
were slick for him to realize he'd been crying since he'd woken from
the dream.

**

Mexico

The ring of the phone startled Neva Reyes out of a sound sleep. She
peered blearily at the caller ID box her daughter had sent her for
Christmas, and exhaled a hiss of alarm.

"What's wrong, Hija?" She asked as soon as she picked up.

There was some sniffing on the other end of the line. "Oh, Mama,
something terrible happened tonight."

"Dios..."Neva muttered. She cast a look to the other side of the bed out
of habit, and remembered, as she had so many times in the pervious
eight months, that she was alone. Jorge was not beside her any longer.
Being a new widow wasn't easy on anyone. "Tell me what happened. Are
you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine..."Reyes broke off again, worrying her mother, since she
didn't sound "fine." "There was this other FBI agent, a woman I knew a
little, who was in danger, so they thought she ought to go into
hiding, since people were after her baby - "

"Someone wanted to kidnap her baby?" 

"It wasn't born yet. My friend John called me and asked me to take
her, so I did...she went into labor..."

"Was the pobre baby stillborn?" Neva guessed when Reyes didn't
continue.

"The baby is okay, I think. He's with his father, anyway. It was the
other agent. She died. Una mar del sangre..."

The mental picture of an ocean of blood made Neva shudder. "Did the
bad men find her, or was it giving birth?"

"They found us, but they didn't do anything. It was having the baby
that killed her."

"How horrible." 

"The paramedics said that there was nothing I could have done, but..."

"But you blame yourself anyway. "Neva guessed.

"Wouldn't you?" 

"Yes, I would. But I was raised Catholic and I'd hoped but I hadn't
passed the tendency for senseless guilt onto you." Neva said sadly.

Reyes' words tumbled out in a rush. "But I shouldn't have... she was a
doctor herself, and said that everything would be ok, but I shouldn't
have listened. Should have insisted we go to the hospital, even if it
would have been dangerous there too."

Neva made of scoffing sound. "This woman, if she was anything like
you... would you have listened?"

"No. I probably wouldn't have. Agent Scully probably wouldn't have.
No, I know she wouldn't have gone willingly. She was too scared for
her baby to be much concerned about her own safety." Reyes grudgingly
admitted.

"So would you do, drag her there? It doesn't sound as though you could
have made her go to the hospital without using physical force."

"But mama..." 

"No buts. It's tragic that the woman died, but don't think, from what
you've said, that things could have turned out much differently given
the circumstances."

"Maybe." 

"Hija, save your guilt for things you actually have done wrong." Neva
advised.

**

May 22rd, 2001
5pm

At the hospital, he'd feared for a few minutes that they weren't going
to let him take William with him. In his more morbid imaginings, he
became increasingly convinced that the doctors were going to spring
some horrible surprise on him, and confess they hadn't kept his son
hostage two days because it was standard operating procedure, but
because there was something horribly, fatally wrong with the infant.

Or just as bad, he'd arrive at the hospital, and be told in hushed
tones that they were awfully sorry, but someone had snatched the baby
out of the nursery. Then the rest of his days would be spent looking
for his child, much as most of his life had already been spent looking
for his sister. The thought of losing his son too brought tears to his
eyes, which weren't really safe while driving.

When he got to the hospital, however, which he'd only left long enough
over the previous two days to sleep at night, no one had any grim
greetings for him. But they'd left him waiting in the hallway,
clutching the handle of the baby seat he was beginning to become
paranoid was not adequate enough, and that would be the thing to keep
him from leaving with William. He could buy another, but his mind
wandered, imagining returning to the hospital again and again with a
succession of inappropriate carseats, each time being turned away
until he could find the right one, a carseat in a haystack.

At last a nurse came into the waiting room, with William in her arms.
"There's daddy, ready to take you home."

"Is this carseat okay?" Mulder blurted out before quite thinking it
through. He wished he hadn't brought the issue up.

She didn't even bat her eyes; apparently nervous new parents said a
lot of strange things. "Looks good to me. You have a safe drive, you
hear?"

"We will." Mulder said, looking up from strapping William into the
seat. It alarmed him slightly that the baby seemed not to have any
bones. Jello wouldn't have been much more of a challenge to secure.

"Bye-bye, little William." The nurse cooed to the baby. "Good luck,
Mister Mulder."

"Uh, thanks." 

He was about to leave when person rushed up to him, this one not
wearing a nurse's uniform. He recognized her attire, though. He'd seen
Scully in something like it many times. "Oh good, I caught you before
you left." The woman thrust a bag into his hands. "These are Ms.
Scully's personal affects. I thought that you or the family would want
them."

Mulder felt the hard edges of her cross through the plastic. It was
the only thing of importance. "Thank you."

As soon as she turned down another hallway, he had the mad urge to
clutch the baby seat to his chest, and run for the exit as fast as he
could, before anyone realized that he was complete unqualified to care
for this little person.

** 

Driving home to DC was every bit the hell Mulder had imagined. There
had been times, impromptu visits to the CDC, that they'd driven from
Atlanta to DC in nine and a half hours. Of course they'd driven,
actually he'd driven, a little faster than the bureau would have liked
him to in a commissioned vehicle, but there'd never been a mishap.
This trip took close to thirteen hours, partly because Democrat Hot
Springs was south of Atlanta, but mostly because of William. They
drove all night. As it was, they barely had time for a nap before the
funeral.

They stopped every two hours the entire ride home. Mulder began to
look out for restrooms with a baby-changing symbol on the men's room
door. There were some "family"restrooms, but after using the second
one and realizing he was the only adult male in there, he began to get
upset by the curious looks the mothers gave him. He had as much a
right to be there as they did, but he felt wrong and intruding.
Fortunately, there were many men's rooms with changing tables.

Feeding William was a far less nerve-wracking proposition. The already
liquid formula didn't need heating or cooling, so he was in business
as soon as he filled a bottle. It alarmed him that he'd already used
up half of the dozen burping blankets he'd bought; the baby book he'd
bought from the hospital gift shop assured him that a dozen would be
plenty. It made him worry that too much of what William was being fed
didn't stay in him, but the book also claimed he'd cry if he was
hungry, and William rarely cried.

That was the only nice thing about the car trip, a lot less crying
than he anticipated. He was rarely so glad to see his apartment as he
was that morning when he pulled into the parking lot with his child.

May 23rd, 2001

Once inside the apartment, William slept soundly in his bassinet, and
Mulder tried to sleep too, knowing that it was best to sleep when the
baby did. After waking up every twenty minutes for two hours, he gave
up and looked for a pressed suit to wear to the funeral.

At eleven o'clock they were standing by Scully's casket, out in the
cemetery Maggie had arranged for the funeral to be conducted at.
Someone, Maybe Maggie, bought a black baby blanket to wrap William in.
Though he was too tired to argue against using it, it made Mulder
angry that such a thing even existed. How many newborns attended
funerals?

It wasn't supposed to have happened this way. He, with is not very
well-developed self-preservation instinct, was supposed to die first.
If, God forbid, Scully died before him, it was supposed to have been
in the line of duty. A heroic death. Not having been cut down by her
own body. Hadn't her remission from cancer proven as much?

He could barely endure the pitying looks cast at him and the bundle
cradled in his arms. Maggie. Her two sons, Bill junior surprisingly
cordial, not apparently blame him for her death; perhaps merely
contributing DNA to the situation was a forgivable offense in his
book. Skinner. Kimberly. Doggett, who Mulder barely knew. Reyes, whom
he knew even less. Frohike, Langly, Byers... all of them staring with
sad eyes. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Eventually Mulder realize that the priest was speaking. A priest. He
wondered what Scully would have thought of that. The priest had been
Maggie's idea.

"...today we entrust your servant, Dana Katherine Scully, to you,
Lord. We who remain carry on, remembering the departed. Dana's mother,
Maggie, her brothers Charlie and Bill, her son William Dana Mulder,
the boy's father, Fox..."

He stopped listening after that.

The priest had asked for people to say a few words, but just an hour
later Mulder could no longer remember what he said. All he could
recall was the tears in his eyes and the weight of his son in his
arms.

Agent Reyes hesitantly approached him at the funeral's end. "Is he...
okay?"

Mulder looked down a William, who was sleeping soundly in the crook of
his arm. As okay as a motherless newborn could be. He gave the woman a
wan smile. "In perfect health."

A very faint smile tugged at her lips. "I'm glad to hear that." 

"She hemorrhaged, nothing contagious." Mulder told her, shifting the
baby's blanket to block a wind that it suddenly blown up. "You should
know that there wasn't anything you could have done. They said... it
was so bad she probably would have died in a proper hospital too." He
gave the shuddery sigh at memory of the coroner's words. "I didn't
want you to think it was your fault or anything."

"Thank you. This might not mean very much since we don't know each
other well, but I'm sorry for your loss. I didn't know agent Scully
very well either, but she struck me as a remarkable woman."

"She was remarkable." He agreed." I'll never love anyone else as much
as I loved her. Except maybe William."

Reyes gave them a sad smile. It might be true, but it was still one of
the saddest things she'd ever heard.

**

Most of the mourners left almost immediately after the funeral-Reyes
disappeared as soon as their conversation was over. The gunmen,
clearly uncomfortable, stayed only long enough to tell him that they
were "Really sorry about everything."

As if sensing how lost he felt now that the funeral was over, Maggie
Scully came over to talk him. "Fox..."she gave him a look he couldn't
quite read. Grief mixed with something else. "What are you going to do
now?" She held out her arms, and he placed William in them.

"About what?" He asked blankly. Knowing that William would be going
home with him, he had given the gunmen keys to Scully's empty
apartment and collected all of the baby things she had bought. It was
too painful to go there himself, and they had agreed that he couldn't
leave the baby to do it himself.

"About William, Fox." 

"I have a carseat." He told her, still not quite understanding what
she was getting at. "So he'll be safe on the ride home."

"You're going to keep him, then?" She swayed a little as she spoke,
and he made a mental note that the baby seemed to like that.

"Why wouldn't I?" 

"A baby is a lot of work for a single man." 

"You aren't implying that a man is less capable of parenting than a
woman, are you, Maggie?" He tried to keep his tone light, but he
wasn't sure he liked where the conversation seemed likely to be
headed.

"Some men make capable single parents, others do not. Had something
happened to me when the kids were small, I wouldn't have been
surprised if Bill gave them up. He was a good man, but not up to
taking care of four children on his own." Not like her, the tone
implied, and he wondered how happy she'd been with William Scully
leaving her alone for months on end. Not very, from the sound of it.

"Luckily, William is an only child." His voice was light, but the
realization stung him the moment he said it. William would never had
any brothers or sisters.

"I'm glad you're keeping him, Fox. But I'm afraid that I'm not going
to be able to offer you much help. The only thing that kept me here
after Bill senior died was Dana. Charlie wants me to move nearer his
family, and I think that I'm going to."

You don't need my permission, he thought. "I'm glad you'll be near
family."

"Yes, well...I planned on being the involved grandmother, but...just not
to this grandchild."

"Uh, okay." 

"If you need me to help I could put the move off..."

"No Maggie, we'll be fine." Mulder glanced over his shoulder to a man
gathering up folding chairs. "But I do need a favor from you right
now."

"Anything, Fox." 

"Tell me what Bill junior is thinking about William and I." Mulder
begged. "I need to know if he's going to be an obstacle."

Maggie shook her head. "He's not going to give you any trouble." 

"Why?" 

She blushed a little. "We had a little talk. He was upset and spouting
about wanting you to take a DNA test to prove that William was yours.
First I asked him if he thought it was fair to subject a newborn to a
blood test on a whim, and while he stammered about that, I went on to
ask him if he thought that his sister slept around. That stopped him
in his tracks."

Mulder impulsively hugged her, taking care not to squash the baby. "I
love you, Maggie. You're too good to us."

"Just take good care of my grandson for me. I want lots of pictures." 

"I will. And you'd better get an e-mail account, so I can fill your
inbox with pictures."


** 

Thinking of all the movies and books that suggested that churches were
a place to find peace, Mulder went back inside. He needed to feel
peace, though he doubted that he would. To his surprise, he noticed
Skinner on a pew in the almost empty church. It had been his
assumption that Skinner wouldn't have hung around any longer than the
gunmen had, and made him wonder where Skinner had been while he talked
to Reyes and Maggie.

The look on Skinner's face made it quite clear that he wished to speak
to Mulder, so Mulder went over to him. "Sir?"

Instead of answering Skinner looked at William. "He has Scully's
eyes." Skinner said at length.

In his head, Mulder could hear Scully explaining the almost all white
babies are born with blue eyes. "I think so too. Did you want to hold
him?" It seemed to Mulder that everyone did.

Skinner grimaced." Thanks but no thanks. I'm not good with babies. I
suppose it's a good thing that Sharon and I never had kids."

"Yes." Mulder couldn't think of another thing to say. He wondered if
Skinner had imagined Scully bringing William to the Hoover building to
meet him and everyone else. He knew that it's how he'd pictured
things...

"I know you're sick of this, but I wish this hadn't happened. Scully
was a good agent. A good woman. A good friend. We're all going to miss
her." Skinner said gruffly.

"Not half as much as I will." 

"Of course. I just wanted you to know...that you're not alone in your
grief. Sometimes it's hard to remember that."

"Thank you Sir." 

"He should go home and get some rest, Mulder. You look like you
haven't slept."

"It's just a new parenting thing." Mulder said dismissively. "I hear
that newborns are known to keep two parents up too. And this kid,
well... he just as me. And I'm a pretty poor excuse for parent."

"Don't sell yourself short. You're just... inexperienced. If you can
take on world wide conspiracy, going to be a good parent should be
easy for you."

"For William's sake, I sure hope so." 

**

By ten thirty, Mulder was utterly convinced that he could do nothing
right, never would do anything right, and never had done anything
right. No matter what he did, William would not stop crying.

William wasn't too hot, or too cold, wasn't hungry, didn't have gas,
didn't want to be held or put down, didn't need his diaper changed... it
seemed like all he did want was to cry. Mulder was beginning to want
to cry too.

After Maggie's polite brush-off, Mulder was afraid to call her. All
that would come of that would be that she'd think he was incompetent,
and change her mind about moving on with her life. He'd been
responsible for too much pain in the woman's life already, so he
couldn't bear the thought of giving her another reason to resent him.
She said she didn't already, but he couldn't think of how it was
possible that she didn't.

Instead, as he held the inconsolable baby in his arms, he tried to
think of what his parents would do in the same situation. These
thoughts caused him to grimace. Faced with a screaming baby, probably
him since he couldn't remember much wailing from Samantha, Bill Mulder
would have gotten fed up, fleeing the house to spend the rest of the
night in the local bar. Teena, for her part, probably would picked him
up, brought him to his room, and left him in crib to cry himself to
sleep.

Rocking William, he chided himself for being a revisionist. Things
with his parents hadn't be that bad when he was little, they'd only
gone south after Samantha disappeared. "Shhh, shhh, you're making
Daddy crazy, William. Don't tell me you're going to be like this until
you can talk. They'll come with a net to take me away, and then who'll
look after you?"

This argument didn't sway William in the least. 

Eventually, Mulder's tired arms ached so much that he had to put
William down in the bassinet. Admitting defeat, Mulder grabbed the
phone-book and began thumbing through the yellow pages.

"Dial-a-nurse, how may I assist you?" 

"I think my son hates me." Mulder admitted.

The nurse on the other end chuckled. "How old is he?" 

"Three days old. Look, his mother died... He won't stop crying, and the
baby books aren't any help."

"How long has be been crying? It sounds like he's got healthy lungs." 

The nurse's question made him nervous. Was she talking notes? Was she
in contact with Social services? Maybe he shouldn't give his real
name. "About 45 minutes."

"I've got bad news for you, sir. Sometimes newborns cry for no
apparent reason. Current research suggests that they might be trying
to adjust to their new environment, and crying helps their systems
acclimate."

"Really." 

"Yes. You're probably doing everything right, but he'll still cry. If
it goes on for less than two hours, I wouldn't worry about it. Of
course, it's easier to say that than actually keep one's self from
worrying." She chuckled again, and for some reason that put Mulder
more at ease.

"Thank you." 

"Oh, sir? I hope it doesn't happen, but in a month or so if you notice
that his crying becomes far more constant, you might want to check
with his pediatrician about colic. That doesn't start until one month,
usually. Your doctor should be able to tell you more when you bring
him in for his two-week check up."

Check up? Mulder thought, I have to find a doctor for William! "You've
been helpful." Mulder told the nurse.

"Is it just me, or has he quieted down?" 

Mulder looked over at the bassinet in surprise. William was asleep.
"You're right!"

"Have a good night, sir." 

"You too." 

After Mulder hung up, he returned to his sleeping son. "Look, kid, I
know you'd prefer to have your mom taking care of you, and I won't lie
to you, I would too. Even though she didn't have other kids either-"
he paused, wondering if Emily counted since Scully had never been able
to raise her." - but she at least seemed confident that she'd know
what she was doing. Me? Not so confident. I'm a nervous wreck. But I'm
all you've got. I'm going to make mistakes. Lots of them. Hopefully I
won't screw up as badly as my parents did, and you'll turn out a
little more stable than I did. You and me, William, we'll make this
work together." Even asleep, William turned his head when Mulder
brushed his cheek.

Mulder thought about rolling the bassinet into the bedroom, but the
thought of unearthing his bed made him feel even more exhausted. The
only time he had used the bed had been the nights Scully was over, and
they'd spent far more time at her place than his, so it'd fallen into
neglect, completely covered in clothes and other hastily tossed items.

So he settled down on the couch instead, which was more comforting
than the bed would have been anyway since it didn't remind him nearly
as much about her. As Mulder drifted off, he thought he heard a
strange squeaking noise, but it didn't sound like a baby, so he
allowed himself to drift off before thinking much about it.

**

May 24th, 2001
6 AM

you	should		go

no there's no reason to.

But Iwant youto.

Is that a reason?

itwould be		safer.

For who?	
	
	Every body

Not me

Yes 			you andallthechildren small and wee 

But why?

Your head is full of milk

When he opened his eyes, the dream shattered. He shook his head to
clear it. It didn't make sense. At first the dream seemed to be a
continuation of the one he'd had the night Scully had died, but they'd
been happy in that dream. In this one Scully was urging him to leave
her and William, and each time he refused her argument became more
muddled and surreal, so in the end it was like trying to argue with an
ee cummings poem.

Rolling onto his side, he peered at William's bassinet. How could he
even dream that it would be safer for anyone that he left? Or that
Scully of all people would have been the one to urge him to do so?
Maybe it was his brain's way of telling him that he resented Scully
for leaving them. As if he didn't already feel guilty for knowing
that.

**

The dream left Mulder shaken. No matter how often he tells himself
that the dreams don't predict the future, he can't rid himself of the
feeling that perhaps the latest dream was a warning. He must be even
more careful with his son then he already has been.

This led him to feeling guilty about the times he left William alone
the day before. He'd peed several times and he'd even taken a shower
before the funeral, for God's sake! Any one of those times could've
been the opening the kidnapper was waiting for. How could he been so
shortsighted? William was depending on him, dammit!

Luckily Frohike picked up on the first ring. "Hey, Fro, It's Mulder. I
need a favor."

"What kind of favor?" Frohike asked suspiciously.

"One of the completely legal but yet slightly embarrassing kind." 

"Tell me." 

"I need someone to buy a baby seat." 

"I thought you already had one. Didn't you have one at the funeral
yesterday? And how did you get the baby home from of the hospital all
the distance without a carseat?"

"I have one." Mulder grumbled. "I need another one." 

"Why?" 

"You don't want to know." 

**

By the time Frohike left and Mulder had managed to get the new carseat
out of the box and set up, Mulder really, really, really had to pee.
He considered going out to the car to get the other carseat, but then
he decided that it wasn't worth the risk. Besides, many many visits to
baseball stadiums had taught him how to hold it for prolonged period
of time.

Still, he was dancing from foot to foot as he retrieved his son from
the bassinet. Fortunately, William seemed to enjoy being rocked so he
didn't vocalize any objections.

Once he got into the bathroom, however, a new problem presented
itself. Where was the best spot to put the baby carrier? Eventually he
settled on a putting the baby carrier inside a perfectly dry bathtub.
Bathtubs are only dangerous to babies if they actually have some water
in them, he reasoned as he unzipped his fly.

Mulder could hardly think of the time in his life when he'd been more
happy to *finally* been able to pee.


**

6pm

The first thing Reyes did when she got to her hotel was to check up
the front best to see if there had been any messages from her Realtor.
The hotel clerk, a bored looking young man, flipped through the
message book and told her that no one had called for her. Reyes
thanked him, but for all the in response she got she could've been
speaking to a wall.

She was beginning to feel deeply annoyed. The Realtor promised that he
would help her find an apartment that day. He might feel no sense of
urgency about her housing situation, but she did. It had been almost a
week since she agreed to join the X-Files, and a week was too long to
stay a hotel. It was expensive and she felt unsettled. Given the state
of her finances, she's decided she had about two weeks before she
would have to begin looking at roommate wanted ads the local grocery
stores. Reyes smirked as she thought it; who knew what kind of psycho
she could end up with as a roommate?

After signing deeply she kicked off her shoes and picked up her
cellphone- it was really about time that she considered getting
answering service on her cell phone, and she could avoid the bored
jerk at the front desk. "Hi I'd like to speak to Tony please... Tony,
I thought we agree the you would call and leave a message today
letting me know what you found my price range... you're sure? Yes, I
understand you can't work miracles... that would be great. I hope we
have better luck tomorrow... I suppose the market changing daily is a
good thing. Thanks, talk to tomorrow."

Looking for housing really sucked. Crumpling onto the bed, she wished
that someone at the Hoover building specialized helping agents
relocate. It was to the FBI's benefit in that they did, so why didn't
they help out the people that were helping them? She considered
calling her mother to complain, but thought Neva would tell her was
that she raised her better than to think that life is fair; she didn't
think she could deal with her mother being right too.

**

May 26th, 2001
10am

Why didn't anyone tell me that babies went through approximately 100
diapers a day, and that I'd run out of laundry detergent a mere three
days after bringing William home? Because that's the sort of thing
people tell new mothers, not new fathers, he thought grumpily as he
pushed the shopping cart down the isles at Wal-mart.

William didn't seem to mind the impromptu shopping trip, lying slumped
in the baby seat he slept through it all. Mulder, awake and agitated,
made up for it by being annoyed enough for the both of them. It wasn't
the shopping he minded so much, it was the other shoppers.

Inevitably, women would see the infant's flaming red hair, and be
drawn to come over, like moths to a porch light. Unfortunately for
them, he didn't like moths, and if another woman tried to touch his
son's hair with her grubby hands, he was going to swat her the way
pesky insects should be dealt with. He'd known that red hair attracts
attention, and not just from the covetous eyes of men, from being out
and about with Scully, but she'd never mentioned that the comments and
attempts at touching were nearly constant when a redhead was small. No
wonder she'd flinched away when strange old women moved their hands
towards her hair...

Worse yet, were the comments; this was because "Oh, what a cute baby,
and such lovely red hair!" was always followed up by "Must have got
that from Mommy. Where is she?" Like it was any of their concern,
really, as to where she was. What were they thinking, Will was too
small by game warden's rules, but his mom would be big enough to bag
and stuff to put on display?

He experimented with ways to say that Scully was dead. "She's in
heaven, looking down on us," "Dead," "I'm not sure, last I saw her she
was headed down I-9 without looking back," "It's just us guys from
here on out." But no matter how fiction he put it, they always knew.
Then they wanted to smother them both with sympathy, and he began
thinking of moths again. "Fuck off, Lady"began to have its appeal as a
response.

After what seemed like an eternity, Mulder left laden down with bags.
Shopping was such a harrowing experience, he'd bought extras of
everything. More than twice as much as he thought would be adequate
for a couple of weeks. And if William outgrew things before supplies
ran out, Mulder wasn't adverse to donating things to charity.

**

2pm

The shrill ring of his phone had Mulder cursing under his breath. He'd
meant to change it to something more soothing, perhaps Bram's Lullaby,
but he hadn't gotten around to it yet. To his shock, it didn't wake
William, so he slowly exhaled the breath he hadn't even realized he'd
been holding.

"Fox Mulder." 

"Agent Mulder, this is Alvin Kersh." 

"Not agent any longer, as you well know, sir." Mulder said pointedly.
"It's just Fox Mulder now."

"That's actually what I called to talk to you about...Mulder." The pause
made it clear that he didn't feel comfortable calling him by first
name. "I had a proposition for you."

"What sort of proposition?" Mulder asked warily.

There was an audible sigh from the other end of the line. "I don't
know how to say this without sounding crass, but since you don't like
me anyway, I'm going to be blunt. I've been authorized to offer you
reinstatement now that Agent Scully is no longer...with us."

"Now that she's dead I'm fit to return to the X-Files?" Mulder asked
bitterly.

"More or less." Kersh sighed again. "I think they're afraid of what
will happen to the X-Files if neither you nor Scully are at the helm."

"I thought no one cared about the X-Files. Shouldn't they be pleased
that with Scully and I gone there's no reason not to shut it down?"

"Someone wants it open, Mulder. I don't know why, and I don't care
enough to ask. If I were you, I'd keep my suspicions to myself and
take the opportunity that presents itself without asking questions."

Mulder didn't say anything for a long moment. Three months earlier he
would have jumped at the chance for reinstatement, but so much had
changed... "For once I agree with you. At the moment, however, I'm not
sure I can. Scully's mother made it very clear to me that since she's
moving soon she's not going to be able to spend a lot of time with my
son-"

"The daycare at the Hoover Building takes kids as young as six weeks."
Kersh told him. "I'll have someone reserve a spot for your son. We'll
expect you to return then."

Mulder blinked. He didn't even know that the building had a daycare."
All right, then. See you in five weeks. Sir, before you hang up, can I
ask you a question?"

"What do you want to know?" Kersh's voice sounded wary.

"A couple of days ago, did Doggett and Reyes investigate a case
involving a ship and tainted water?"

"No, Mulder." 

"Oh, okay. Just checking to make sure I'm not having prophetic
dreams." Mulder laughed weakly. The dream had upset him, mostly
because Scully had been in it, and she'd been more than half convinced
that there was something wrong with William.

"Mulder? I'm sorry about Scully." Kersh's words stunned him. So many
people had said those very words to him in the last four days, but he
never expected them to come out of
Alvin Kersh's mouth. "I'll let you go, so you can look after that baby
of yours."

*

William woke up soon afterwards, and didn't seem to be in the mood to
be pacified. As a last resort, Mulder tried something he'd read in one
of the parenting books he'd been frantically consuming. His belief in
miracles was reaffirmed when laying the baby on his lap and rubbing
his back did calm him.

As he rubbed small circles, he thought about the offer for
reinstatement. Unexpected and crass as it was, it did solve one of the
worries he had for the immediate future - money. He had a fair amount
saved up, given that he didn't have a lot to spend money on and that
he'd inherited a good deal from his parents, but raising a child was
expensive, so he'd rather had a steady income rather than be wholly
dependent on depleting his savings.

And, he reasoned, the X-Files would be an easy place to leave if he
ever decided that is casework was getting too dangerous for a single
parent. All he would have to do would be to piss off Kersh or somebody
else and get himself fired again. The thought made him chuckle a
little; he was sure that the HR department never considered putting
"easy dismissal"under the list of FBI benefits. It made him wonder how
many people took advantage of something like that. At least until he
was distracted by William's need for diaper change.

**

"And what if something goes wrong? If you're a doctor you know the
risks. You're unprepared here." The words of the creature who had
replaced the game warden rang in Reyes' ears. Mulder might forgive her
and Neva Reyes might believe that there was nothing she could have
done differently, but she wasn't sure if she forgave herself. Even if
there was only a slight chance that she could have been saved, they
ought to have gone to the hospital.

Her mind kept returning to the lingering guilt she felt about Scully's
death, because in a way, it was a welcoming distraction. She'd rather
feel guilty than stupid. And lately, she felt really stupid.

Why is it, she wondered, that people tend to build things up in their
mind, out of nothing? That is clearly what she'd done, in regards to
John Doggett. She'd thought, years ago, that there had been some
chemistry between them, but he'd been grieving for his son, and still
in a shaky marriage. So she'd respectfully kept her distance. Now,
however, it had been years since Luke's death, and Doggett had been
divorced nearly as long. There was nothing to stop them from exploring
what they'd had in the past.

Except it turned out that Doggett was completely uninterested in her.
Or at least it seemed so from the impersonal way he treated her. Maybe
he was afraid of being too friendly with a new partner, since his last
one had died on him, but she really didn't think so. It was her.

She wasn't sure that transferring to DC had been a good idea. The job
was okay, but she'd made the decision for the wrong reasons, and to
top it all off, she was having a hell of a time trying to find an
apartment she could afford. Doggett had mentioned off-hand that Mulder
was moving, so she was more than a little tempted to see if his place
was still available. She'd gone there once with Scully, and it hadn't
seemed too bad.

It took her half the day to decide if she would stop by and visit or
not. On one hand what she was doing seemed selfish, but on the other,
he could probably use a grown-up to talk to. She knew the people
Mulder did, and none of them seemed like the listening type.
Eventually, she decided her good intentions out-weighted the bad. She
hoped.

**

7pm

The knock on the door annoyed Mulder, but he went to see who it was
with as calm an expression on his face as he could manage. When he
looked through the peephole he was surprised to see that it was Monica
Reyes.

"Agent Reyes." Was all he could think to say as he held the door open
for her.

Hearing William whimpering, she suddenly felt stupid for following
through on her impulse. "If this is a bad time..."

Mulder gave her a wan smile. "From what I've come to realize in the
past week, there's no such thing as a good time to visit a new parent.
Therefore, any time is fine. We'll be awake. God knows, I'll be
awake."

Reyes followed him into the living room and stopped to watch him
carefully reach into the bassinet and take out the baby. William
quieted almost immediately. "Could I hold him?"

Hesitating for just a moment, Mulder gave her a vaguely distrustful
look, but he put the baby into her arms. "He's precious." She told
him.

"Yeah, he is pretty cute." Pride seeped into Mulder's voice. "Did you
just stop by so you could see the baby, or...?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing, actually." Reyes told him. "I get
the sense that certain people at the bureau are being distant because
they know you well enough to feel like they're intruding if they make
assumptions that you might need grown-ups to talk to." She gave him a
brief smile. "I don't know you well enough to know what would piss you
off, and honestly, I don't really mind if you get mad at me, so I'm
going to be nosey. How are you doing, really?"

Mulder sighed. "I'm sick of telling people I'm 'fine'. Scully used to
say that all the time, and fine doesn't really mean you're okay. Too
many people are willing to take you at your word though. I'll admit
it, this solo parenting thing is tough. You don't realize how many
things are easier to do without carrying an eight-pound person around,
until you're the only one doing the carrying. I have a baby seat in
the bathroom so I can pee and shower, for Christ's sake. I'm really
not looking forward to moving in a couple of days. This place has
already been rented to someone so the time-frame is going to be tight,
and..."He shook his head, overwhelmed by trying to imagine the logistics
of that.

A deep disappointment filled her when he mentioned that his place had
already been rented to someone else. But then a strange idea came to
mind. "I could help you." Reyes blurted out.

"You'd help with the move? That would be great." 

"No. I mean yes, I could help you with the move, but...I could just help
you. Your new place will have at least two bedrooms, right?"

"Three. It was the only one that wasn't one-bedroom that I could find.
The apartment market is tight right now..."Mulder trails off when her
words sink in. "Why would you help? If you're feeling guilty because
of Scully, I already told you that you shouldn't."

"That's not it, well, not mostly. You're right, the apartment market
is rough. I can't find one I can afford, and living in a hotel isn't
practical now that I'm being transferred to DC for good. This could be
good for both of us. I'd have a place to live, and you'd have someone
to help you look after William."

Mulder stared at her

"I'd pay part of the rent, of course." Reyes added.

"Is the apartment market really that bad?" His brow creased in
bemusement.

"Are you saying you couldn't use the help?" Reyes countered.

"Of course not. It's just...you're asking for a lot of work in exchange
for a mere place to live."

"That's my problem, isn't it?" 

"I wonder if there's any rules against FBI agents living together..."

Picking up on his musing tone, she instantly made a suggestion. "Call
Skinner and ask."

**

"Sir, it's Mulder, I have a strange question for you...Yes, another one.
Are there any rules against agents of the opposite sex living
together? As platonic roommates... Agent Reyes can't find an apartment
she can afford and I could use the help with William...Yes, okay, I
understand. Thanks a lot."

"Well? What did he say?" 

"He says that the Bureau has no interest in who an agent shares living
quarters with as long as their arrangements don't interfere with their
job performance." He reached down and took William from her. "Are you
sure that you want to live with the Mulders?"

"Definitely." She told him with a grin.

"I'd like to say you won't live to regret this, but...I hate to lie to
people I'm just getting to know."

"I'll keep that in mind. The first of June, right?" 

"Um, yeah. First of June." 

"Great. When do you want me to stop by to get William? So you can
pack."

"Would Wednesday be ok? Unless you have plans..."

"No, no plans. Wednesday will be fine. Thanks a lot, Mulder. I think
this is going to work out well for everyone."

She breezed out a couple of minutes later, leaving Mulder to shake his
head in wonder. "Well, brat, it looks like we've got a new roommate."

William wisely refrained from commenting.

**
That night

Neva was really beginning to hate the caller ID thing that Reyes had
bought her. It made her feel like she was on one of those quiz shows
where you had to figure out the answer before the timer off. At least
she was able to recognize her daughter's phone number when it showed
up on the little white plastic box.

"Hola, Hija. Como Estas?" She said warmly.

"Bien, Mama. Y Tu?" Reyes politely asked her mother how she was in
return.

"I'm doing pretty good. The prettiest flowers are in bloom right now
right outside the living in window. But I'm sure you didn't call to
discuss flowers. What's on your mind?"

"I wanted to let you know that I found some place to live other than a
hotel room. Finally."

"That's wonderful. I know if you were struggling to find a place that
you could afford."

"Yeah... I solved the problem by finding roommate." 

"I hope she's a nice girl. I'd hate for you to room with some person
who was loco." Neva a wrinkled her nose. Her daughter living with a
crazy person was something that she worried about after watching all
of those movies on TV where girls moved in with seemingly normal
people then the woman wanted to take over the lives and to kill them.

Reyes tinkly laugh came reassuringly through the phone line. "No Mama,
I haven't found a crazy person to live with. At least I don't think
so. Remember how I told you that FBI agent died a few days ago?"

 "How could I forget?" Neva said somberly. "You don't often call me in
tears."

"Well, the baby's father decided to keep him and he doesn't have
anyone to help with the baby. He and the agent who died had plans to
move into a new apartment, but... he still planning to move there any
way, and there are three bedrooms, so I'm going to be his roommate.
Their roommate actually."

"He talked you into this arrangement?" Neva asked suspiciously.

"No, I talked him into it. It was my idea. I'd gone to see him to see
if his old apartment was still available for rent, and it came up that
he was moving and his landlord had already rented out the old
apartment. So I sort of came up with the idea that I could be his
roommate and after little talking into he agreed after our boss at the
FBI said that there were no policies against opposite sex roommates
among agents."

Her mother's voice was flat." You want to do this because you feel
guilty."

"It's not that. Well maybe it is that the little bit... it's hard to
explain but I feel a connection to the baby, perhaps because I was one
that delivered him. It seems like I was meant to help care for him."

"Be careful with your heart, Monica." Neva said by way of advice.
"Don't forget that he's not yours."

"I don't intend to." 

"I don't understand why you would wastes time looking after someone
else's baby when you could be looking for someone to marry and having
one of your own." Neva couldn't resist scolding mildly.

"You say that like this is it's going to be some sort of permanent
arrangement and as a result I'll be an old maid. I don't intend to
raise this baby, I just want to help out his dad while he's still
tiny. I'm sure that before a very long time at all either his father
or I, if not both, will have new love interests and find other living
arrangements."

"Ah. In that case, be careful with the baby's heart too." 

"Mama, you worry too much." 

"Someone has to. You certainly don't." Her mother shot back. "It's
going to get you into trouble one day soon if you don't start to worry
about things that should be worried about."

*

As soon as the words came over the line, Reyes repressed a sigh. Why
was her mother so volatile? Cheerful and supportive one minute,
scathing another. Maybe that's just the way mothers were. She didn't
know enough daughters to know for certain.

She said her goodbye soon after, because it never helped to keep
talking when Neva got into one of her moods. The whole roommates thing
hardly seemed a big deal, so she couldn't fathom her mother's
objections. It wasn't as though she was pursuing a new relationship,
just a living arrangement. What could be wrong with that?

**

Mulder found himself pacing nervously in his room. He wasn't trying to
get his son to sleep, since the baby was already off in that nebulous
dreamland that newborns seemed to inhabit most of the time. It was
himself he was trying to soothe.

"Are you there, Scully? It's me, Mulder." He aloud, his eyes cast
towards the ceiling. "I know you put a lot of stock into heaven, so
are you there, looking down on us like that priest said? If you are, I
could use your advice.

"Did I do the right thing by agreeing to become roommates with Reyes?
She seems nice enough, adores William, but I hardly know her. I know
you didn't get to spend a lot of time with her, but all the books say
that labor is something that bonds women to those who attend them, so...

"You would have said something if she was a psycho, wouldn't you?"
Mulder smiled a little in spite of himself, but then sobered up. "If
you are looking down on us now, just know that you're in my heart, and
this is no attempt to replace you. It's more of an attempt to perform
personal hygiene functions without an audience. If...if it had been the
other way around, I would have wanted you to get help too, you know. I
don't know if you know this, but this solo-parenting thing is rough.
But we'll get by, so don't you worry about us. We love you."

He felt a little foolish when he concluded his monologue, but somehow
he felt better too. The idea of the dead watching over had never
really appealed to him before, but somehow he felt as though his
message had been heard.

**

Wednesday

When he'd seen movies or read books in which mothers are extremely
reluctant to leave their babies with someone else for the first time,
he'd always had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Babies were such
a great amount of work, so how could the new parent possibly not
welcome a break from their little time consumer?

Of course, that was before Reyes had William's baby carrier in one
hand, and the diaper bag in the other. Then he knew. It was silly,
since it's not as though she was a member of the consortium, but he
was so afraid to watch his son go out the door without him. Somehow it
was even worse than leaving him at the hospital the night he was born,
maybe because he now knew how much William meant to him. Even though
he promised himself that he wouldn't, he followed her to the door,
offering her advice about signals that Will would need a diaper change
or what his cry sounded like when he was hungry. Fortunately, she just
nodded and seemed committed to remembering every detail he imparted as
she tried to leave.

That was half an hour before the gunmen showed up to help him pack.
Even if he was a little dubious about how good a job they would do, he
found that he couldn't really afford to turn down their offer of help.
He didn't have enough friends to go around alienating any by rebuffing
sincere offers of help, and he certainly didn't have time to pack
everything himself, even with Reyes willing to baby-sit. Getting a
moving company was out of the question, because you never wanted
strangers in your home. At least not if you were Fox Mulder.

The gunmen were enthusiastic, if slightly disorganized helpers, and
they more or less distracted him from thinking about William with
their frequent questions. He only thought of the baby every minute or
two with them there to talk to. They also insisted on doing a lot of
the work, rather than letting him help, telling him "Looking after the
crib lizard must be tiring. Why don't you get us some sodas instead?"
He was grateful, since it had been days since he'd slept well, so he
was too tired to do more than pick a few thing up, look at them in
bemusement, and put them back down.

"Hey Mulder, I need more packing tape!" Frohike's gravely voice
sounded muffled. When he brought in the roll of tape to him, Mulder
realized that was because the little man was in the closet. Everything
else in the room had already been packed.

"Here, Melvin. You're quick." 

Frohike backed out of the closet to take the roll from him." Mulder,
if you had any idea how many times I've packed at a minute's notice."

Mulder snorted. "Given what you were into when I first met you, I
guess that I shouldn't be surprised at all."

"Don't knock it, that was on the legal-er end of my early
enterprises."

Byers walked in, looking slightly worried. "Did you buy any bubble
wrap? I don't want to break your dishes."

"No, they were all out. There should be a stack of newspapers on the
kitchen table."

"Are you sure? I could go and get some-" 

Mulder thought about the dishes. The motley collection was probably
worth less than the bubble wrap. "If they break, I'll buy new ones."
He shrugged. "I have a feeling that Monica will want to use hers
anyway. Women tend to own nicer dishes."

"I don't get it, Mulder. You never lived with Scully, the love of your
life, but now you're going to move in with this chick you barely
know?" Frohike's look was anything but approving.

Mulder rolled his eyes. "She needs a place to stay, I need someone to
help me with the 'crib lizard'. There's nothing more to it than that.
We're just going to be roommates."

"Oh sure, that's how it started with Billy and Alison on Melrose
place, but look at how they ended up." Until he heard Langly's nasal
voice, he had no idea that the blond man had entered the room.

"You are such a girl..."Frohike muttered.

"Sorry, I missed Melrose Place, so I don't know what you're talking
about." Mulder told Langly with a purposely expressionless face.

"If she ends up an alcoholic, running away with a strange guy named
Jake after your wife mysteriously drowns, don't say I didn't tell you
so."

"There isn't a pool at Mulder's new apartment." Byers objected, and
Langly made a face at him.

"I'll keep your advice in mind." Mulder said dryly.

"Oh, I came in to tell you that I think we're pretty much done
packing." Langly said. "We're helping you move in to the new place on
Friday, right?"

"Yup. Maybe we should do it early so you guys don't have to ruin any
of your plans."

"Damn straight. We've got a Magic: The Gathering game at 8pm." Langly
told him. "It's too bad you never got into it, Mulder, I think you
would like the monsters."

"I get enough of that at work. Thanks a lot for helping me out." 

"Someone's got to..."Frohike started to say, then he looked around the
room. "What are you going to do until you move into the new place?
Everything is packed."

"Live out of a suitcase. It'll be just like old times." 

Except this time the suitcase was paired with a baby bag.

**

June 1st, 2001

"John, spit it out." Reyes demanded. The man had looked like he'd had
something to say all day, but he kept it to himself.

"Are you really going to share an apartment with Mulder?" 

For a second she convinced herself that he was asking because he was
jealous, but the idea deflated immediately. There was nothing in his
tone or posture to suggest jealousy. "Yes, I am."

"I've seen his apartment...You'd better work out who is expected to do
what chores, or you're going to get stuck doing everything."

"Not all single men are as neat as you, John, but I'll keep that in
mind."

Later on that day, she amused herself with a daydream that started out
with the same question, but ended with an offer to share his place
with her. Then she told herself to grow up.

**

The driveway was crowded when Monica arrived at the new apartment.
Once inside, she saw why. Mulder and the gunmen had been very busy.
Everything Mulder had taken with him had already been brought in and
placed in the appropriate room.

"Very organized. For men." Reyes pronounced, her eyes twinkling.

"You're not into that feminist stuff are you?" Langly asked, giving
her an apprehensive look.

"Not too much." 

"In that case, would you like some help bringing your stuff up?" 

**

There wasn't a lot of stuff to bring in. She hadn't been very attached
to her furniture, so she sold it rather than bring it with her when
she moved to DC. It had been her plan to buy new stuff when she got an
apartment, but Mulder had a complete set of furnishings, so she'd only
bought a bedroom set so far, and the delivery people had brought it in
and set it up earlier in the day.

"I hope you don't mind me saying this," Frohike said, eyeing her
belongings. "For a chick you don't have much stuff."

She laughed. "It doesn't pay to be a pack-rat if you're rootless. The
less junk to cart around with you the better."

"Maybe you'll like DC." Byers offered.

"I might at that. This job is more interesting than my last one, so
who knows?"

She disappeared into her room with her few belongings a couple of
minutes later. Frohike gave Mulder a conspiratorial glance. "She seems
pretty nice."

Mulder shrugged. "As long as she's good with the baby and not an axe
murderer, it's good enough for me."

"Yeah..."Frohike suddenly had trouble looking him in the eye. "There's
something I've been meaning to ask you, but I'm afraid that it'll
upset you."

"Ask whatever you want." 

"When we went to get William's stuff the day of the funeral, her
apartment was still full of her things. Of course it was, she'd just
died...what's going to happen to all of that stuff? I sort of thought
that you'd take it, but I guess you don't have room..."

"Maggie and I are going to figure out what do to do with it before she
moves to be near Charlie and his family up north. I think most of it
will end up in the basement of her new house."

"Oh, okay. I just wondered if you'd need our help with it, or
anything."

"I appreciate the offer." 

**

2:30am

They'd gone to bed exhausted, after unpacking their respective rooms
just enough to find bedding. William had woken Mulder up an hour ago,
and after that he'd fallen back into a hard, dreamless sleep.
 
Until there was a sound. Mulder sat up in his bed, and his eyes
instinctively sought out the bassinet near the foot of his bed. The
guys seemed to think he was being silly, but he really did think that
the move was traumatic on William, so he kept the baby in his room,
despite their grumbling about having wasted time on setting up the
nursery.

Someone was standing over the baby.

"Reyes?" Mulder asked softly, but he knew it wasn't her. Even in the
dark he could tell that whoever it was, wasn't tall enough to be her.

It was Scully. He was sure of it.

"Scully?!" She turned her head in his direction, but he couldn't make
out her face. A hand moved in the dark, and he more sensed than saw
the woman hold her finger to her lips. He wasn't inclined to be quiet.

"What's going on? We buried you! Okay, so you buried me too... come talk
to me." Mulder begged. The figure remained unmoving.

He took his eyes away just long enough to see where he was putting his
feet so he could go to her instead. By the time he looked back, he was
alone again.

Fear gripped Mulder, and thoughts of SIDS filled his mind until he
stumbled to William's side and saw that he was sleeping peacefully.
Slumping onto the bed, he covered his face in his hands and wondered
if it had been a dream or a sign of impending insanity.

A soft knock at his door had him hopeful for a moment, thinking maybe
Scully had come back. But it was Reyes voice he heard. "Is everything
okay? I heard something..."

Mulder got up and opened the door. "Everything's fine. I just thought
I saw..."

"An intruder?" Her sleepy brown eyes immediately filled with concern.
She looked younger wearing a night-gown. Like a teenager woken up by
noisy parents.

"A ghost. Or something. I'm sorry I woke you up over something so
stupid." He apologized.

"I was awake." Mulder could tell she was lying. "Did you think you saw
Dana?" When he didn't say anything she went on. "She thought she saw
you, once, when you were gone."

"The only difference was I wasn't dead." Mulder sighed.

"She didn't know that, then, though. We all thought..."Her voice
faltered as she thought of the implications.

"I wish she could come back by some miracle too." He admitted. "I've
thought about it a lot. But I know she can't."

"I'm sorry." 

"Me too." 

They both found it hard to get back to sleep after that.

**
**

First thing in the morning, Mulder went through his suitcase until he
found Scully's cross. He strung it through William's mobile.

"I don't know if my imagination was playing a mean trick on me last
night, or your mom really came for a visit last night." He told
William. "Either way, I think this is a good place for her cross,
don't you?"

It seemed strange to him to see Reyes unpacking dishes when they got
to the kitchen. She put down the dish she was holding, and held out
her arms. "Why don't you let me give him a bottle while you take a
shower?"

The first thing he wondered was if he smelled. Then he wondered why he
never asked her if she had any experience with kids before his
insanely hasty agreement to their new living arrangement. "I don't
know..."

"What's the point of having someone to help you if you still want to
do everything yourself?"

A reasonable question, he thought, deciding to put his son into her
arms. "Got much experience with kids this age?"

"Oh yeah. If you want to keep them quiet, you just put a little
whiskey in their bottles, and it knocks them right out." Mulder's face
paled, and a split second later she burst out laughing. "I was the
neighborhood baby-sitter for years. Don't worry, I know what I'm
doing."

Watching her prepare a bottle one handed, a skill he'd kill for, he
decided that William would be fine with her. Still, he grabbed the
portable baby monitor off the counter, and brought it into the
bathroom with his towel.

**

His hair was still dripping when he came back from his shower, which
made Reyes hide a smile. He might trust her to look after William, but
was obviously uncomfortable about doing so for long.

"About last night, Mulder...are you okay?" 

"As okay as a guy can be after imagining he saw his dead lover." He
tried for a laugh, but couldn't bring it off.

Reyes nodded. If Mulder expected her to tell him he might have really
seen a ghost, he was in for a disappointment. "I wonder, if...you might
have seen her because you haven't had time to grieve."

"Of course I've grieved." His voice was irritated. "I spent the first
two days crying my eyes out."

"I'm sure. But then you've spent practically every waking second being
a pillar of strength for your son. I'm not saying that's wrong, but I
am saying that letting yourself focus just on the baby might not be
healthy."

"What are you suggesting?" 

"That maybe you need to spend some time alone, without William to
worry about, so you can process everything. You could do something,
and I'll be here to worry about him."

"But I'd still worry about him." Mulder pointed out. "I don't think
there will be a minute of my time the rest of my life that I won't."

She thought the statement was touching, but didn't say, knowing it'd
only embarrass him. "True, but at least you wouldn't be worried about
his diapers and bottles. Look, we need some things from the grocery
store, since we've got little in way of food for people who don't gain
their entire substance from a bottle. Why don't you go shopping, and
see how that goes? I promise not to give your son any alcohol while
you're gone." Reyes encouraged with a grin.

"Yeah, okay." 

"We should set up an ATM account for household expenses, but for now,
let me give you what I think half this list will come to, and I'll
give you more money if it's more."

Mulder nodded distractedly, but he took the money and the list and was
soon out the door. Even if he did look back like a kid being abandoned
by his mom at kindergarten for the first time.

"Well, William, promise me you won't do anything too upsetting while
your dad is gone." He just gave her an unfocused look. "He needs to
learn to trust more people, and you and me might be a good start."

**

It felt rather strange to be shopping without William in the cart.
Even though the kid was only ten days old, Mulder was already
beginning to forget what it was like to perform simple functions like
shopping without carting a small warm body around with him. As much as
he hated to admit it, the idea of putting the groceries into the car
without having to strap the baby in first came as something as a
relief.

He wished he had his reading glasses as he peered at the list Reyes
had written. Her script was neat, but small, and it strained his eyes
to make everything out, especially since he'd checked it twice to make
sure she hadn't slipped anything unpleasant on to the list, like
feminine hygiene products. Scully had had him buy all sorts of things
he'd rather not, like a breast pump. But there were no unpleasant
surprises on the list, other than finding out that she apparently
preferred 1% milk instead of whole. It was probably better for him, he
decided.

Did frosted Wheaties count as "healthy cereal"Mulder wondered.
Shrugging, he put a box of that and one of Special K into the cart,
deciding that variety was a good thing. As he picked out the rest of
the groceries, he was filled with a sense of foreboding: this would be
the only time he was going to be sent on a solo trip to the market.

Passing by the condom section, conveniently placed right near the
alcohol and diapers, made him sad. He wouldn't be needing those,
probably never again. As far as he was concerned that part of his life
was over.

**

The cashier took his money without a problem, but it made Mulder think
of what Reyes had said about a joint account for household expenses.
In all his adult life, no woman had ever suggested such a thing, even
on this casual a basis.

It just served to remind him that he and Scully had never intended to
be a family. He'd said yes readily enough when she asked him to be a
donor for her, but they hadn't meant for it to mean that he'd be his
son's father, an equal parent...Scully just wanted the baby, and he was
okay with that. Then he'd been taken away, before he'd gotten a chance
to reconsider, or even got the news that the IVF had worked after all,
or maybe it had been the comfort sex immediately following the news of
the failure. It was sad, but he'd never know which for certain. Either
way, he still didn't know where he fit in when he was returned after
his abduction. They'd started to make overtures that made him think
that she might have decided that she wanted him to help her raise
William, but he'd been willing to bide his time while she decided. And
then there was no decision to make, because she was no longer there to
make it-

"Sir?" 

He blinked. 

"Your change." The cashier's smile was tentative, as if she was trying
to decide if there was something wrong with him. Mulder wondered how
long he'd been wrapped up in his thoughts.

"Um, thanks." Mulder said, taking the bills from her. "Sorry, I
haven't been sleeping well, it kind of makes me spacey."

This time her smile was genuine. "Judging from the size of the
diapers, your kid must be tiny."

"He is." 

"Have a nice day." Mulder nodded. She probably was required to say
that to everyone, no matter how weird they struck her as.

**

William was alive and well, and seemed sober when Mulder got home with
the groceries. "He's a doll, Mulder." Reyes told him with a grin as
they traded groceries and baby.

"Yeah, a drink and wet one." But he smiled down at the baby as he said
it. "He looks sleepy, I think I'll put him down and see if he'll
sleep."

"Probably. He was awake the entire time you were gone." 

Mulder wanted to think that his son had been awake and looking for
him, but all the baby books said that wouldn't happen for another
month, so he tried to be realistic about it- sometimes babies are just
awake. Still...

**

"Reyes, why are you here?" Mulder asked. Baseball announcers blathered
on in the background.

"Here, where?" 

Seeing her puzzled look, he realized he ought to have been more
specific. "Here in DC. On the X-Files."

"Doggett needed a new partner to help him investigate Kersh. Not that
went anywhere." She shrugged.

"That's a pretty big favor to cash in. If it went no where, why did
you stay?"

"I like the X-Files." 

"Nothing to do with John Doggett, then?" 

An interesting pink color crept across her cheeks. "No. John and I are
just friends." She said firmly.

Mulder wondered at the instance of her tone. One of them obviously
wished otherwise, and he couldn't tell which for sure, but he guessed
it was her. "He's not an easy man to be friends with."

"No, he's not. But he's a good person to have on your side." 

"Yeah." There was definitely more to the story than she was letting
on, but he let it slide. It wasn't any of his business about his
roommate's romantic interests, not unless she wanted to share. "Thanks
for looking after Will while I did the shopping."

"That's what I'm here for." 

"Right." They went back to watching the game.

**

1:30am

Rolling over with a groan, Reyes barely resisted the urge to throw a
huge temper tantrum. It didn't matter which way she positioned
herself, she couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. Eventually,
when she was frustrated almost to the point of angry tears, she
admitted to herself that her true discomfort was a mental one.

Mulder's question about Doggett had brought back unpleasant, far too
recent memories. She couldn't believe she'd been so adolescent and
stupid. Giving into the lovesick urge to follow a crush was something
that eighteen-year-old girls did on WB shows, not something a sane
woman in her thirties did. Oh, sure she could rationalize it and say
that her feelings for John Doggett had nothing to do with the move,
and it all had to do with wanting to be on the X-Files, but she tried
not to lie to herself to that degree. At least not very often.

In moments where she was feeling kinder towards herself, she decided
that any feeling person would have jumped at the opportunity to tried
to start something with an old flame in what seemed to be more
opportune times. Like far too many other people she allowed herself to
be convinced that things had not worked out between them because of
circumstances. Because at that point when she first knew him and they
almost started something, he it was a grieving father and didn't have
room in his heart for anyone else. It was pretty natural to think that
if things were different things might have worked out between them,
and a not in considerable believe in fate contributed to her
expectation that she was being given a second chance, now that things
were different.

But it still hadn't worked out that way and that became almost
immediately apparent after she agreed to transfer to the X-Files. Her
sense of expectation had been bolstered by Doggett' s invitation for a
congratulatory drink. If only he hadn't merely been being friendly.

Since she was beginning to hate herself for letting her heart follow a
course in futility for so long, she was beginning to at least attempt
to talk herself out of attraction.

Since it was not such an easy thing to over come, she created rules
for herself to follow, since rules were far more authoritarian than
the simple desire to change.

These rules, which she mentally recited in moments of weakness were: I
will not depend on John by telling him personal information before
anyone else
I will not touch him for any reason that does not involve saving him
from death.
I will not imagine him as anything but a friend.

Just three rules. They ought to have been easy to follow. They
weren't. Instead they just gave her another reason to be upset with
herself.

She half wished that he would become involved with someone else, even
go back to his ex-wife, but he wouldn't. He didn't seem to have any
interest in relationships, and that was the problem. Sometimes she
wondered if he was going to become one of those asexual men who poured
all of their passion into their careers, emasculated by cold-eyed
ambition. The thought mad her sad. And determined to avoid the same
fate.

**

June 4th, 2001

A noisy crowd of women and babies only served to emphasize how out of
place Mulder felt in the waiting room of William's new pediatrician.
He was the only father there. Reyes had offered to come to the
appointment with him, obviously knowing that he would be the only dad
there even if he hadn't, but she would have had to take time off, so
he'd turned her down. He was half regretting it, but it was probably
better to learn to deal with it on his own - as William's sole parent,
it was his duty to do these things, and hand-holding by a friend
wouldn't make it much easier.

The doctor, One Ryan Stevens, a short blonde man in his thirties, gave
Mulder a bright smile when he came in. "We don't see too many dads
coming in with babies this young. Usually they can't pry them away
from Mom."

Mulder gave him a strained smile. "I'm afraid that I'm all William has
got. His mother is no longer living."

Stevens had the grace to look stricken. "I'm very sorry to hear that.
Did she die in child birth?"

For one wild minute Mulder had the impulse to say "No, it was a
tight-rope walking accident," but he was able to bite down on his
words and nod instead.

William didn't seem to like the exam, but since Stevens didn't seem to
be doing anything to actually hurt him, Mulder decided that pulling a
gun on the man probably wouldn't be a good idea, even if it would make
him feel better. Towards the end, Stevens asked him a lot of
questions, but Mulder had known they were coming, since he'd found a
list on the internet of information you're supposed to provide during
the various baby check ups.

Then Stevens asked him a question that wasn't on the list. "And how
are you doing?"

"Fine?" 

His eyes held the expression Mulder had become all to familiar with.
Pity. "I want you to know that your son is doing great. He's thriving,
and you can tell he's really cared for."

"Thanks." Mulder was still puzzled.

"A lot of men who lose their partners in childbirth distance
themselves from their babies, but I don't think that you do."

"Why would they do that?" Mulder wondered, looking down at the baby. 

"They blame their babies for the mothers' death." Stevens answered
quietly.

"That's insane." Mulder said shortly. "It's not as if the baby has any
control over what happened. They aren't the ones who wanted them born
anyway, the parents are."

The doctor shrugged. "Some people are irrational when they're
hurting."

Mulder didn't say anything as he tucked William back into the baby
carrier. Some people could afford to be irrational. He couldn't. "The
next appointment is in two weeks, right?"

"That's right. Just see the receptionist on the way out." 

**

June 5th, 2001

The knock at the door wasn't at all friendly, so looking through the
peephole it came as no surprise to Mulder to see Bill Scully jr
standing on the other side of the door, his face red and his fist
raised to pound again.

"I never expected a housewarming visit from you, Bill. How nice."
Mulder said dryly as he opened the door for his son's uncle.

Bill was in no mood for pleasantries. "Is it true?" He demanded to
know.

"Is what true?" Mulder thought it was a legitimate question, since
there were any number of things about him that pissed the other man
off. Asking helped to save time narrowing it down.

"Is it true that even though my sister's body isn't even cold yet,
you've got another woman living with you?" Bill's tone was more than a
little belligerent, but Mulder was used to that.

Mulder wondered if it was worth pointing out to Bill jr that Scully
herself could have told him that a body typically cools to room
temperature within 48 hours, but he decided that Bill didn't look like
he was in the mood for a science lesson. "I have a female roommate,
yes. But that's all she is, a roommate."

"Like hell, do you really expect me to believe that?" Bill jr growled.

"Considering it took me seven years of knowing your sister before
going out on a date with her, I think it's reasonable for me to expect
you to believe that." Mulder told him impatiently. "I want to show you
something. But keep your voice down before you wake William up." Him

Mulder lead the grumbling man to the bedrooms. He carefully opened a
door and invited Bill Jr. to look in. "This is my room." He prodded
Bill along to the next room, taking less care while opening the door.
"This is your nephew's room, though at the moment he sleeps in mine,
as you probably figured out from the bassinet in there." The last stop
on the tour was the third bedroom, and Mulder knocked.

"Yes?" Reyes poked her head out of the door, looking surprised to see
Mulder and his companion. "Is something wrong?"

"No. William's uncle just wanted to meet my roommate." Mulder said
blandly. "Bill, this is my roommate, Monica Reyes. She's a fellow FBI
agent who recently relocated to DC.."

"Nice to meet you." Bill Jr. mumbled, heat coming to his cheeks.
"Sorry to have bothered you."

"Um, that's okay." She told him, casting Mulder a questioning look. He
shrugged.

Back in the living room, Mulder turned to Bill Jr. "Are you satisfied
now that everything is on the up and up?"

"Yes..."

"Good. I know you don't think highly of me, but I never thought you
had such a low opinion about my feelings for your sister."

"I-" 

"Agent Reyes is a nice person, maybe one day I'll even come to
consider her a close friend, but at this point all I know about her is
that your sister liked her, and it's nice to have someone else help
out with William so I can pee without having to take him into the
bathroom with me."

Bill Jr. winced. He probably never had that problem with Matthew since
Tara was always around. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions." He
mumbled, nearly giving Mulder a heart attack.

"Yeah, okay." 

"I'll, uh, be going now." 

Mulder shook his head after shutting the door behind him. Reyes
startled him by speaking behind him.

"What was that all about?" 

"Scully's brother. The moron somehow found out that you're my roommate
and thought that I'd taken up with someone else. I can't imagine how
Scully, as brilliant as she was, ended up with such a stupid brother.
If I didn't know Maggie, I'd swear Scully must have been found on the
doorstep."

"That's unkind, Fox. For all you know, he could have been dropped on
his head as a baby." A smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"That would explain a hell of a lot." Mulder snorted.

**
The next night

"Reyes, what happened before... Scully died?" Reyes shot him a
stricken look. Seeing this, Mulder decided he should clarify what he
was asking." I mean, after the two of you drove off in your car."

"Um, we drove." She wasn't sure what to say, but she could see that
Mulder really seemed to need to know what happened. Since it might
make him feel better she decided to try to put more effort into her
description. "Doggett had told me where to go, and I drove."

"You and Scully must have talked." 

Reyes shrugged. "A little. Scully fell asleep not too long after we
started out. I figured that given how much stress she'd been under
then, the best thing was to just let her sleep. I know some people
need their passengers to be awake and engaging with them in order to
stay wake themselves, but I was used to doing all the driving on my
own, so having her sleeping didn't make much difference to me.

"She woke up as we reached Georgia. All we talked about them was how
long she'd slept and how she was doing. She said she was fine. I could
tell that she was lying. It'd probably been contractions that woke her
up."

Mulder looked disappointed. She tried to sift through her memories of
that day to find something more profound. "She told me that I reminded
sure of someone. Her sister. I thought that was nice."

Mulder laughed. "I'm not exactly sure that was a compliment." 

"She didn't get along well with her sister? I thought I remembered her
saying that she did."

"Oh, she did. Most of the time. Melissa was... frankly, she was a
flake." Mulder smirked." She was into all that New Age crystal crap
and thought she could feel other people's emotions."

"Some people can feel other people's emotions." Reyes said
defensively.

"Oh brother. Not you to." But he laughed good-naturedly.

Reyes smile back, but after a moment her mirth faded. "She really
wanted this baby, Mulder. Even when she was in the middle of labor and
in all that pain, and I could tell there was a lot of pain, Mulder,
she was still the most concerned not for herself but that those...
things were going to try to take her baby. She screamed at me- told me
not looking take him. And she screamed at them too, telling them that
'this baby is mine'." Reyes closed her eyes against the memory. "And
they didn't take him. I never could figure out if it was because he
wasn't the baby they thought he was going to be or because she loved
him that much, so much that they couldn't bear to. I like to think
it's the latter."

"She wanted him so much to make up for the fact that I didn't." He
looked at the infant sleeping on his lap. "At least not at first."

"When we first talked about me being her donor, I agreed because I
thought that I owed it to her; she'd lost so much because of me... so
how could I say no? I think I knew from the moment that I found that
vial that I'd be the one she'd ask if she decided to try to have a
baby." Mulder gave a self-depreciating smile. "I know that sounds a
little arrogant, but who else was there, for either of us? I know you
haven't worked on the x-files very long, so maybe that's hard to
understand... but what we fought for - and against - for so many years
took all of our time and energy... we cut ourselves off from everyone
else. So there really no one else she would of asked. Except maybe
Skinner, and he's even less the paternal type than I am." Mulder
laughed.

Reyes nodded in agreement." And not as attractive." When Mulder stared
at the remark her expression just suggested that she'd merely been
stating a fact, so he didn't make an issue of it. "So you felt
obligated to give her a baby because you felt guilty."

Mulder shook his head. "'felt guilty' implies that the feelings were
unwarranted. They weren't. If not for my crusade, she'd still have
that sister, never would have had a child that had only been meant to
suffer, and probably have had the family she wanted soon enough to
enjoy it." With someone else was implied by his tone.

Reyes left the issues of Melissa and Emily aside; all she knew about
them was what she'd read in their files the week before while trying
to familiarize herself with past cases." Or she might have died the
same way, years earlier, while pregnant with a different child." Reyes
said quietly.

"Maybe." Mulder agreed, but without any conviction in his voice.

." My point is that we can't really predict what might of been. If
there's such a thing as fate, we might arrive at the same end no
matter what choices we make."

"Scully once said something like that... all roads leading to the same
path in life."

Reyes smiled." I knew when I met her that she was wise." 

"She was brilliant, but that was one of the few times I knew her to
put any stock in something like destiny."

"Even skeptics have their moments." Reyes said quietly. "Sometimes we
feel things even if we pretend we don't."

"And sometimes we get found out even when you pretend." Mulder said
with a sigh. "When I... woke up, I didn't know what had happened while
I was...gone. I'd seen Scully right after I began to come to, but I
didn't have the wherewithal to realize that she was pregnant.

"Skinner told me, when my head cleared. Scully was pregnant, and that
she had a new partner. John Doggett. I didn't find out until later
that he didn't know that I was William's father, which is why he
didn't say that she was pregnant with my baby." Mulder spread his
hands in a helpless gesture. "Since he mentioned that she was pregnant
and had a new partner in the same breath..."

"Oh no." Reyes looked horrified when she connected the dots.

"I was so cold to her. When she told me that she prayed a lot for my
return, and that her prayers had been answered, I said in more than
one way. I told her I was happy for her... I know that doesn't sound
cold, but it was. And I said that I didn't know where I fit in."

"What did she say?" 

"Nothing at first. I think she was shocked that I didn't know that she
was pregnant with my baby. But how could I know? It's hard to tell how
far along someone is from just looking, and I'd never met Doggett so I
didn't know how she felt about him." Mulder frown. "Maybe part of me
was punishing myself with the idea of her having moved on and found
what she was looking for- from someone else. I thought she deserved
it. I deserved it too, for being too weak to resist them. For leaving
her alone..."

He waited for Reyes to protest that he was too hard on himself, but
she didn't say anything, so he continued. "Then she told me that the
baby was mine. We'd gotten our miracle after all. Our miracle, that's
how she put it. But it didn't feel like 'our miracle' it felt like
hers. In the back of my mind I had this hope that she'd tell me that
the baby was mine, and it would fix everything that I'd been feeling."

"It didn't." 

"No." 

"I'm sorry." 

"I never thought it would be so hard to come back. Actually, I'm not
sure I thought of coming back at all. It'd hard to tell the memories
from dreams...and nightmares. Dreams or thoughts, I just wanted to come
home. I thought it would all be the same. It hurt so much that things
were different.

"Things started to get better, just within the past few weeks - can
you believe it's only been a few weeks? - but there wasn't time. We
went to a couple of Lamaze classes, arranged to rent this apartment,
and that was it before everything went to hell."

Reyes shook her head. "No." 

"What do you mean 'no'?" Mulder asked.

"I mean that's not it. You had enough time to make her realize you
loved her."

"You can't know that. You barely knew her." 

She shook her head again. "She knew, Mulder, and she loved you too.
You didn't have to know her more than five minutes to be absolutely
sure of that."

He didn't say anything, but for the first time in a long time, it was
something about Scully to think of that didn't make him feel horrible.

"What about you?" He asked a couple minutes later after returning from
putting the baby down.

"What about me what?" 

"Until Scully wanted a baby, I never thought of kids at all, because I
didn't grow up thinking about having a family... did you want to be a
mother when you grew up? Do you?"

Reyes shrugged. "I don't know if it's just me, or if being adopted
often puts a damper on fantasies about being a mommy, but I haven't
given it a lot of thought. It's one of those things I pull out and
think of once in a while when I've met the sort of guy I think is
steady. It will either happen or it won't."

Mulder grinned. "Well, if you do find that right guy, at least you
won't be scared to death when you have a baby since you seem to know
what you're doing with William."

"Yeah...I bet my firstborn would be better adjusted too, since I'm doing
my experimentation on your kid."

"Hey!" 

Reyes just smirked when he jumped up at the sound of William's cry
over the baby monitor.

**

June 8th, 2001

It took exactly a week before the honeymoon period of their
roommateship ended. This came as quite a surprise to Mulder, who was
watching TV when it happened. Suddenly, Reyes was looming over him,
with an expression on her face that he couldn't read. "Mulder, I want
to show you something."

"What?" He asked warily.

"Go get William, we're going on a little fieldtrip." 

"Should I bring a diaper bag?" 

"No, we won't be going very far, or very long. We just shouldn't leave
him in the apartment by himself."

"Well, I know that." Mulder bristled. "Are you going to give me a hint
about where you're taking us?"

"Nope. It's a surprise." There was a glint of something he didn't like
in her eyes as she said it. He was sure he wasn't going to like where
they were going.

It wasn't too scary, but they walked down the stairs in the building.
Down, down, there were so many stairs he expected the air temperature
to climb as they got closer to reaching hell. If hell was bland cement
walls, that is. To his alarm, the air temperature did begin to rise,
and a increasingly loud rumbling noise made itself apparent.

Reyes didn't seem bothered by the noise or the heat. "Almost there."
She told him, looking over her shoulder to see if he was still
following.

At last they came to a break in the dull tan walls. She lead them
through a set of double doors, then stopped her with her hands on both
hips. "Does this place look familiar to you?"

Mulder looked around at the rumbling machines. "Maybe." 

"Since you don't send every piece of clothing you own to the dry
cleaners, I assume that you do, in fact, know how to do laundry."

"Of course I do." Mulder replied indigently.

"Do you realize that these machines accept a wide variety of clothing
sizes? From those formerly worn by that subway guy-"

"Jared." 

"-to itty bitty ones like your son wears." She gave the baby he was
holding a pointed look. "Mulder, what have you been doing with his
clothes over the past two weeks? Besides letting them pile up in the
bathroom, that is."

"I've been buying new ones when they got dirty." Mulder mumbled a
confession.

"Mulder!" 

"What? I don't like doing laundry." 

Reyes shook her head. "It's your money, Mulder. But if you're going to
continue to do that instead of trying something novel like washing his
dirty outfits, how about you throw them away instead of letting a
mountain of tiny clothes grow in our bathroom?"

"But they're too cute to throw away." 

"Then wash them!" William flinched when Reyes raised her voice.

"Okay, okay. I'll buy some of that baby laundry detergent and wash his
clothes."

"Good. I'll keep an eye on William while you do both. And Mulder?
While you're shopping you might look for this neat new invention
called a hamper. I hear that you can keep your dirty clothes in them
until you're ready to wash them."

Mulder stalked off, mumbling to himself about how everyone thinks
they're so funny.

**

June 20th, 2001

"But I need an appointment today." Mulder said, letting exasperation
flood his voice. "No, not tomorrow, it has to be today...Okay, then I'll
call another studio."

Mulder hung up the phone with a frown. Why had he waited until the
last minute to make an appointment? Perhaps, he admitted to himself,
because he hadn't realized until ten o'clock the night before that it
was imperative to get photos of a baby done at one, three, six, nine
and twelve months of age. He'd promised Maggie Scully that he would
send her pictures, so he had to get them. If only he had found the
advice sooner than the night before.

Fortunately he found someone who had a cancellation at one, so he was
able to relax.

Right up until he walked through the studio doors. Every wall was
covered in family portraits. Most were of happy parents with their
newborns, and the rest were pictures of mothers and their babies. He
didn't know which hurt more.

They were greeted warmly by a woman who seemed completely oblivious to
his pained expression. The woman's own eyes were friendly yet a
little...dull." You must be mister Mulder." To further his suspicion
about her lack of intelligence she craned her neck and looked over his
shoulder. "I don't see Mom anywhere. Didn't you want a mother-baby
picture? They've very popular. "

Mulder felt awkward." Umm...There is no mom. "

The woman colored a little. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have presumed...
I've had a couple of gay clients who've adopted or have gotten
surrogates-"

Mulder had been looking down at Will, but his head snapped up in
shock. "What? I'm not- there was a mom, just not any more."

"You don't need to explain to me. It's none of my business, I'm sure."
Her tone, of course, suggested that she didn't believe a word he said.
Mulder desperately want to convince her that he Was. Not. Gay. But he
knew that further explanation would just cement her false impression.
The straight doth protest too much.

"Yeah, can we do this now? I promised his grand mother pictures, and
I'd like to follow through."

"Of course. If you'll just follow me.. "She lead him into the next
room. "It's so *nice* that your mother is supportive of your
lifestyle.."

Mulder wanted to strangle her.

If she noticed she hid it well. There are several customary poses for
fathers and babies, or we could try-"

"The customary ones will be fine"Mulder said shortly. For just a
little while it would be nice to be seen the same way as any other
father of a month old baby.

**

Even if the woman was an idiot, even Mulder had to admit that she was
a good photographer. She was gentle while posing the baby, gave him
clear instructions on how to pose himself, and the previews she showed
him on her computer looked great. He could picture them on Maggie's
mantle. Or maybe hanging on the dingy walls of the gunmen's lair.

Even so, he wasn't sure he could bear dealing with her every few
months. There had to be other photographers who'd be easier to deal
with. Maybe if he tried to make an appointment for William's three
month pictures as soon as he got home...

**

Two weeks later

Reyes unexpectedly ambushed Mulder as he was leaving the nursery.
"Mulder, have you ever felt the presence of evil?"

His face took on a thoughtful expression. "When William was first
born, I didn't empty the diaper pail for five days. When I took the
lid off all the way, rather than only inching up enough to shove a
diaper in, I smelled the presence of evil."

"I was being serious!" She protested but was close to laughing.

"So was I." once they regained their composure, Mulder remembered the
original question. "Why did you ask? About feeling evil?"

"Is this case John and I working on. A couple was murdered and set up
in ritualistic manner, and that's all he'll consider - that someone
wanted us to think it was satanic. But when we went to the murder
scene, I felt... something. It wasn't pleasant. I worked in countless
cases just like this one when I was in New Orleans but I never felt
anything like what I felt in that house."

Mulder nodded." It's hard working with a skeptic. Even with the truth
right in front of her-" realizing way city crack to himself. "-his
face he might insist that there's another explanation. One that
there's no evidence for whatsoever, but would be easier to swallow."

"It's frustrating." She admitted.

"Sure. But that makes each time you get the skeptic to see the light
all the sweeter a victory."

"Maybe with you on a cases will wear John down more often." 

"Or maybe we can decide all of our conclusions for write-ups by
majority rules."

**

July 5th, 2001

It was the hottest day of the year, at least so far, and the
weathermen said so repeatedly with an almost orgasmic glee, at least
judging by their tone of voice.. Worse, air barely moved in the
apartment. Mulder slapped the feebly sputtering air conditioner with
the heal of his hand. "The hottest day of the summer, and manager gone
off somewhere." He moaned, giving up on beating the machine and
reluctantly turned it off.

"Let's go to the beach." Reyes suggested.

Mulder frowned and looked at William who was sprawled out on a
blanket, wearing only a diaper. "The baby does look hot, but the baby
books tell you not to use sunscreen on infants less than six months
old." He was also picturing wall to wall bodies, with scant inches of
white sand between towels.

"So let's go to a lake instead. It'll be more shady. You do have a
bathing suit, don't you?"

"Yeah, somewhere." 

**
 
Reyes' instincts had been good because the lake wasn't nearly as
crowded as Mulder feared. A few people staking claim to parts of the
shoreline.

It didn't take them much time to dump their gear, although Mulder
struggled a little with the beach umbrella he was trying to plant in
the sand for William - one of it's arms caught on the pocket of his
baggy blue swim trunks.

He found himself a little surprised at Reyes' suit, a not terribly
revealing one, which belied her usual not very strong sense of
modesty; not that she wandered around the apartment in attire fit for
a Victoria's secret's model, but plunge neck lines were no strangers
to her wardrobe. The suit she was wearing was a red one-piece, which
seemed to make slathering sunscreen onto her skin easier. Mulder
looked away when he realized he was watching her fingers' move.

"Do you think William would like the water?" He asked, noting that the
infant's bright blue eyes were following some swimmers.

"Won't know until you try." Reyes said with a shrug. "Those diaper
swimmy things Mrs. Scully sent are neat."

"Yup. One of my first memories is of going to the beach with my
parents and sister. Sam's diaper got water-logged and white tuffs
floated away in the water. My mother was of course mortified."

"I'll bet. That's kind of a nice memory to have, though." 

"We only went to the beach once, and not during the day." 

It took Reyes a minute to figure out that the "we"in his statement
referred to him and Scully. "A beach at night can be romantic." She
ventured.

Mulder shook his head. "Not while on a case. Not after your partner's
dog had just been eaten."

"That would put a damper on things." 

"Actually, the way we ended up on the island was that our boat had
just sank, and that beach was the only piece of land we could find. We
thought we stranded, and I believe Scully thought we were going to die
there."

A smile tugged at the corner of Reyes' lips, but since she was wading
deeper into the water, he didn't see it. "You didn't share her fear of
imminent doom?"

"Nah. Back then I thought we'd go out in a blaze of glory, not as Big
Blue snacks." He looked down at William, who squealed as a wave hit
them. Since his son didn't seem upset, he continued his thought. "Too
bad things don't always turn out how you think they will."

"I in no way mean to make light of your loss, but on the whole I'm not
entirely sure that an entirely predictable life would be one worth
living."

"I'd have take the risk, even if it would have meant making her leave
me."

"Even though such a choice probably would have meant that you wouldn't
have your son now?" Reyes asked quietly.

"I..." Mulder looked away, only to catch sight of a man playing with
his two small children. "I don't know. Before there was a possibility
of him, without a doubt I would have chosen her. But now, I'd rather
die than even contemplate such a choice."

"Which is a good argument against getting everything you ever wanted -
you'd never know what you could be missing."

There didn't seem to be anything more to say as they stood waist deep
in the water; the silence is broken only by the happy shouts of
children. Finding inspiration in that, Reyes cupped a hand and swung
it under water in an arch creating a fan of water that doused both
Mulder and William. As Mulder sputtered she held her breath, wondering
what his reaction would be once he got over his shock.

"Look!" He crowed, startling her since it wasn't anything like she was
expecting. "He's smiling!" Peering down at William, she saw that the
infant did indeed have what looked like a smile on his face. "Don't
you dare say it's gas."

"It's not gas, he liked being splashed." She agreed.

Smiling himself, Mulder looked down at his son. "Coming through waves
smiling, that's not too bad."

"That's actually sort of poetic." Reyes told him.

"Okay. Splash us again." 

Reyes is more than happy to oblige, just to get another toothless grin
for her troubles.

**

Mid-July

The door was firmly closed but there was a window in it that allowed
people to see inside. Mulder took a brief look then backed away. Reyes
hid her smile as he paced and gave the door distrustful looks. Finally
he gave her a haunted glance. "I'm not sure I can do this." He
whispered raggedly.

"Be brave, you can do it," She encouraged.

"I can't." He declared, starting to walk away.

Before he could, Reyes grabbed his arm. "What happens if you don't? Do
you really want to live like that?"

"Yes." 

"Mulder!" 

"Okay, you're right. I can do this. I can d-" 

Mulder was still trying to steel his resolve when the door abruptly
swung open. "This must be William!" A bright voice surrounded by a
smile and big hair exclaimed. Within seconds she was reaching to take
the handle of the baby seat out of Mulder's hand. He was tempted to
pull his son away from the strange woman - why hadn't he thought to
have background checks done on all of the daycare employees? - but
Reyes cleared her throat. so he handed the baby over. "Be a good boy,
Bub." Mulder didn't care that both women heard his voice crack.

The hair didn't seem to notice. "We'll see you at five, Dad." At least
she didn't pick up William's little hand and make him wave; Mulder
hated when people did that, like they thought the child was a puppet.

Reyes patted Mulder's shoulder as they headed for the basement.
"There. That wasn't so bad, right?"

Mulder didn't say anything. He was to busy trying to keep from
whimpering.

"First days are rough," she continued. When they reached the office
door and he just stared through it, she wondered if he'd heard a word
she'd said.

**

Doggett's voice was gruff when he greeted them. "Welcome back, agent
Mulder."

She frown a little when she detected the jealousy in his voice; it was
definitely work related. She warned herself not to sigh. "Good
morning, John."

Mulder mumbled something that was probably a greeting in Doggett's
direction. After another minute or so Mulder actually looked in the
other man's direction. "What's your take on the case you and Reyes
just finished?"

Doggett shrugged "It was all an elaborate game. The perp played us
like chess pieces on a board of his own devising, but he set up a
ritual murder to with another game entirely. Scrabble of all things."
He concluded with a scoff.

"The board game spelled out something about demons. Don't you think
that was less than trivial?" Reyes asked. "It had a significance."

Doggett answered something, but her attention was drawn to Mulder
instead. Something in his stricken expression suggested that his mind
had gone to the word's definition rather than the brand name. All
things considered she couldn't say that she blamed him.

"Yeah, the significance was that they were playing it when they were
murdered. There were no demons." He added, shooting Reyes a look.

"What's our next case?" Reyes asked, ignoring his look. "Don't try to
pretend that you didn't come in early and read the casefile." She
added in a slightly teasing tone.

Mulder gave the other man a vaguely surprised look; apparently he
hadn't taken Scully's report of Doggett's dedication to the office to
heart.

"I've only had time to skim it, since Skinner just had Kimberly bring
it down a few minutes ago. From what I've read so far, it seems to be
about a little girl who can see guardian angels."

"She can see angels?" Reyes asked.

"Allegedly. Between you and me I don't think we're going to get much
out of this kid. The report says she has Downs syndrome."

"She might be able to communicate just fine. I mean, people wouldn't
know about the angels if she didn't tell them, right?"

"Yeah...the local PD wants us to stop by and talk to them first, though.
I didn't see any hint of a crime while I thumbed through the file, but
they're involved somehow anyway."

"Maybe there's no crime, Doggett. You of all people know that cops are
called for all sorts of reasons, like getting kittens out of trees.
When do the local authorities expect us?" Mulder asked. Reyes thought
that he probably sounded like his old self - not that she was sure of
what that was like.

"In an hour. That gives us just enough time to drive there. I just
hope no one called them to get a guardian angel out of a tree."

Doggett drove. Reyes had expected there to be a scuffle, or at least
discussion about who would drive. But Mulder headed for the backseat
without a word.

**

Sheriff Folger met them at the door before they went in. Taking them
aside, he spoke in a low voice. "Thank you for coming, agents. I'll
bring you in to see Jodie in just a minute, but as I told you on the
phone she has Downs syndrome. She's fairly bright anyway, but she's
rather shy. I've told her that I have friends coming, though, so she
should be okay. If you'd wait her just a moment-" They nodded and
stepped back into the house. They shuffled their feet as they listened
to Folger explain that his friends had arrived. Her murmured response
was too soft for them to make out.

"Okay, you can come in." Folgers showed them into a spacious living
room.

Although Mulder knew that the girl had Downs, but even the abstract
concept he had in mind didn't prepare him for the reality of the
girl's appearance- small stocky body, moon face, almond eyes... For
half a second he found himself thinking that if it had been his child,
he'd of rather have had him die at birth. It filled him with shame,
but he still found himself thankful that his soon, at least, was whole
and healthy.

Despite Folger's concern, Jodie didn't seem frightened by them.
Instead she sat on the couch, swinging her legs as she looked at them.

"Who you?" 

the men exchanged helpless glances, so Reyes took it upon herself to
speak up. "Hi Jodie. My name is Monica, and these men are John and
Fox."

Jodie covered her mouth with her fingers and giggled behind them.
"You're not doggie."

It took Reyes a minute to realize that the child was amused about
Mulder's name.

"Miss, could you describe the alleged guardians you've seen?" Doggett
asked in a polite, business-like tone. "The ones you told your mom you
saw." He attempted to clarify.

The child gave him a blank look, and resumed her foot-swinging.

"Jodie, tell us about the angels." Mulder said quietly.

The girl pulled her fingers away from her face. "They talk Jodie." 

"What about?" 

"They my friends." 

Doggett caught on. "What do your friends look like?" 

"Birds." A frustrated look passed over her face. "People-birds." 

"Oh, do they have feathers?" Reyes asked.

"Yes!" 

"All over their bodies, or just wings?" Doggett shot her annoyed look,
but Jodie responded by grinning and flapping her arms.

"Are the angels friendly?" Mulder asked quietly. He wondered if an
angel would be gentle, or the fierce-eyed beings of the old
testament...his bet was on the latter.

Jodie shook her head. "Shy. Not suposta see." 

"But you do see them." 

A tiny smile tugged at the girl's mouth. "Special." 

"That is pretty special." Mulder agreed. "I wish I could see them
too."

She cocked her head and gave him a quizzical look. "You can." 

"We can?" Reyes looked surprised.

The girl shook her head again and pointed at Mulder. "Him." 

A look passed between the agents, but they shrugged off their
confusion and continued their questioning. "When do you see them,
Jodie?"

"Everynight." She slurred the sounds, making it one word. Mulder
thought perhaps the girl thought it was a single word, since her other
words were clearer.

"Where?" 

"My tree." 

"The oak tree out back with a swing on it." Jodie's father explained.
"She considers it her tree because of the swing."

Since the father had decided to join the conversation, Doggett
directed the next question to him. "At approximately what time?"

"Right before bedtime, so around eight. At first we thought that it
was just a tactic to delay bedtime, but then the things she told us
started to come true..."

Reyes leaned forward on her knees, looking eager. "Things like what?" 

The father paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "She said that
the little Reily boy was going to fall off the swings and break his
arm, not his neck, because his angel would keep him from dying. Jodie
wasn't in school the next day, but it happened during recess, just as
she said. There were other things too, another child was nearly hit by
a car, but dodged it at the last second...All sorts of strange things
that she couldn't have known about before they happened, some while
they happened."

"That would be hard to explain." Mulder agreed sympathetically, while
simultaneously hoping that this wasn't the sort of issue he'd have to
deal with himself as a parent.

**

They spoke for several more minutes, and listened politely every time
the father remembered a new event to recount to them. While this went
on Jodie's fingers played with the braid of a blanket on the back of
the couch, and her boredom was very plain to see. "Did you have any
other questions for Jodie?" Her father prompted.

When no one said anything, Mulder spoke up. "No. Thank you for talking
to us, Jodie."

The child looked expectantly at her father until he said "You can go
play, Jodie."

After the child slide off the couch and wandered off, Mulder turned to
the other man. "I hope you don't mind a few questions as well."

"Fine." 

"What exactly has your daughter told you about the angel?" Doggett
asked.

The man spread his hands helplessly. "I'm sure that you're all aware
that most children with Jodie's disease are also plagued by weak
hearts." They all nodded wordlessly. "At first I thought that we'd
lucked out because she didn't have to have heart surgery as an infant,
but two years ago, just after her sixth birthday, things began to go
badly. She became listless and got tired easily...so we scheduled the
surgery.

"The operation didn't go as expected, and things were touch and go for
a few hours. After than she recovered, but then she began to tell us
about the angels." The man shook his head ruefully. "It was as if
almost dying thinned the veil for her, between our world and heaven."

"You've raised your daughter to believe in angels?" Doggett asked.

"Of course." The father gave him a distrustful look." I can understand
if you believed that I'd talked my daughter into believing that there
were angels all around us, but even if that were the case, it wouldn't
explain how she knew things that happened before they did."

Mulder noticed that Doggett was going to reply, but jumped in first.
"It might make our investigation easier if we were allowed to see if
there's anything out where Jodie see the angel."

"Of course." 

"We'll come tonight then." Reyes told him.

Mulder shook his head. "Monica, Jodie seems to think that I'm only one
that can see the angel, so it'd be just as well if you stay home with
Will. No sense in bringing him out or getting a sitter."

Reyes looked as though she wasn't going to agree, but eventually
nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"I'll go with you." Doggett announced abruptly. "I can wait in the
car, but Skinner will have a fit if you go by yourself."

Mulder knew that it was true; ever since he got back Skinner seemed to
greet any suggestion of independent FBI activity with an air of
disapproval, as if convinced that it would lead to another extended
Mulder-absence. "I appreciate that."

Tonight, seven-thirty." 

"Seven-thirty." Mulder agreed.

***

Good to his word, Doggett waited in the car, armed with an audiobook
written by some obscure military author that Mulder had never heard
of. "Call me if you get into any trouble."

"Trouble With Angels?" Mulder asked with a smile. From Doggett's
nonplused look he decided that Doggett didn't have any female
relatives that were Haley Mills fans, as Samantha had been. Mulder's
smile slowly faded; the lack of commonality coupled with bitter-sweet
memory brought him down quickly. "I'll call if there's a problem. But
there won't be one."

As he walked away from the car he could hear the sonorous drone of the
author's voice trail behind him, growing fainter with every step.

It took until the wind was picking at his clothes and mussing his hair
that Mulder realized that a storm was blowing in. His sigh was lost in
the wind's voice, and he had to squint in order to find the tree
swing.

The swing itself was fairly ordinary, one of those reddish hard rubber
deals common to school playgrounds, and it swayed back and forth as
Mulder approached it. However, it wasn't the wind that gave it
movement - that was caused by the figure behind it who gave it a hard
shove every time it swung back towards him.

At least Mulder thought it was a him.

Him, her, whichever gender, the being gave him a semblance of a smile.
"I've been waiting for you."

"Jodie's angel." Mulder acknowledged with a slight nod of his head. "I
thought you'd be taller." Obviously not a sweet picture-book angel, it
wasn't the imposing old testament figure Mulder had been expecting,
either. Besides the white robes and the faint glow, you'd hardly know
it was an angel. There were no visible wings, despite what the child
reported.

It shook its head, making pale hair move ever so slightly. "I'm not
Jodie's angel. I'm just the angel who wanted to speak to you."

"I didn't realize that I'd shown up on the angelic radar." Mulder said
with a smirk. He glanced back behind him, looking quickly at the car
and the house's kitchen window, but no one was looking, and he doubted
that the conversation could be heard over the wind. A wind he realized
didn't seem to be affecting the trees a few hundred feet away. "Jodie
told me that only I could see you, is that true?"

"It's true that we only appear to people we choose to be seen by." 

"Harmless people, right? A lack of credibility is something I share
with a young mentally handicap child, I realize."

"If you wanted to harm us, I'm sure you could find a way. You're a
determined person, who has a way of convincing people of things, even
if those people do their best to hide it." Its face looked chagrined.
"Jodie's guardian should have known she couldn't be trusted to keep
quiet."

"So why take the risk of appearing before me then? You can't trust me
to shut up either. "Mulder was honestly puzzled.

"I was with her every day of her life." The angel said quietly,
staring into Mulder eyes until it became too much and Mulder turned
away. "From her birth to her death. I saw all of her deeds, good and
ill. She'd want me to see you."

"Were you there to witness or to protect?" 

"Both. Always both." 

A quiet rage filled Mulder as he looked up at the angel's
expressionless face, and he ground his fists into his sides. "If you
were meant to protect her, why did you let her die? She was too young
to die."

"She wanted to live." The angel agreed in its strange emotionless
voice. "but she wanted your son to live more."

"Are you saying she had a choice?" Mulder gasp out painfully. His
heart was in his throat, and it seemed to be strangling him.

"If one lives or dies is in God's hands. But if there had been a
choice, she would have made it."

"It's nice to know that we have so little power...keeps us humble,
right? If you see God, tell him I don't forgive him yet."

"He knows." 

"I may never." Mulder warned. The angel just shrugged. "However, I
will keep your secret."

"Why?" The angel sounded mildly curious, which made Mulder look up in
surprise.

"It would depress too many people to realize that guardian angels will
let them die." That said, he turned on his heel and marched back to
the car. The wind died before he opened the passenger door.

Doggett hit stop on the tape deck. "So, was there an angel out in the
tree?"

"Hardly. I didn't even see a kitten up in the tree. I think we have to
chalk this one up to precognition."

"Do you think Kersh will buy that?" Doggett frown a little.

"More easily than if I claimed a kid was accidentally seeing angels." 

"Good point." 
 
**

The next day
7am

It didn't take long to write up the case, implying that the little
girl was experiencing ESP after a near death experience in the
operating room - Doggett and Reyes had to sign off on it too, but he
thought what he'd written so far was convincing. He was still trying
to talk himself out of citing "The Dark Zone"as evidence that the
phenomena wasn't unheard of when William began to cry, so he left of
in mid-sentence to get the baby.

Mulder was looking for a clean diaper when Reyes reached over his
shoulder grabbed one first. "It's okay, I've got this diaper change."

He gave her a suspicious look; although she was great help with
William, she hated changing the baby. After a few seconds she noticed.
"So...you don't have any plans for tonight do you?"

"Nope." His only plans were to finish the write up and brood about
what the angel said to him.

"Oh good, because I'm not going to be home, so you and William will be
on your own."

"Got a hot date?" Mulder joked, finding his misplaced sense of humor.

"I'm not sure how hot it will be, but yeah, I have a date." She caught
his questioning look as she finished with the diaper. "Sheriff Folger
asked me out."

"Not worried about mixing business with pleasure, then I take it." 

"Coming from you that's rich." She snorted as she passed him the now
dry baby. "You can't get much more concrete evidence of people doing
that than what you're holding in your arms."

"That's different." Mulder said primly, but his eyes smiled. "You
know, you can have a life. Just because I don't have one is no reason
not to enjoy yourself."

"What about you, aren't you allowed to enjoy yourself too?" 

Mulder shrugged. "I can, I just don't." 

"That's sad." 

"I'm not a jolly guy, and never have been. When I claim to be Mister
Happy and blow sunshine up people's asses, then you ought to worry."

"Now that's a lovely pre-breakfast mental image." 

"You're welcome." 

**
11pm

William had been restless, so Mulder had taped the ballgame knowing
that watching it live was a loss. After the baby finally feel asleep
he put on his sweats and sacked out in front of the TV to catch up on
the game before anyone got the chance to spoil the outcome on him. It
was one of the only good things about chronic insomnia - he could get
by the next day on his usual minimum ratio of sleep.

The Mets announcer was screaming, practically foaming at the mouth in
Mulder's opinion, about a homerun when a strange scraping sound came
from the other side of the door. After a few seconds Mulder realized
that it was the sound of a misaimed house key. Just as he got off the
couch to see if it was Reyes, she finally got the key into the lock
and opened the door.

"I hope you got a ride home." He said, taking in her sleepy eyes and
faltering steps. She was in no condition to drive, but then he
remembered that Folgers had driven. He didn't see the man anywhere,
though.

"Took a cab home." Reyes told him with a feeble flap of her hand.
"Should have come home earlier..."

"The date went that good, huh?" Mulder kept his distance since she
smelled 40 proof.

"Oh yeah, any date that makes your resort to drinking so your company
is bearable is a roaring success."

"Sorry." He began to look around for a waterproof container. "You're
not feeling sick or anything are you?"

"I'm not that drunk." She told him, then collapsed on the couch where
he'd been sitting. "My mother is right, I have many faults."

He decided not to make an issue of having his seat stolen, and moved
to the chair instead. "It's human nature."

"No, she's right. I obsess. About the wrong men. Then I don't move on
and screw everything else up, you know?"

Mulder wondered if she was talking about Doggett, but decided that it
wasn't fair to ask her while her guard was down." I'm not the move-on
posterchild, Monica."

For some reason that made her giggle. "Nah, you're the alien abduction
posterchild. Only one poster per person."

"Okay." 

"I tell my heart to move on, but dammit, it doesn't listen. How come
it doesn't listen?" She moaned.

"No ears?" 

This set off a fresh peal of giggles. "Stop making me laugh, I'm
trying to be hard on myself here."

"And I'm trying to watch baseball. Why don't you go to bed now and
beat yourself up tomorrow after a good night's sleep?"

"Good idea. I'm glad I've got a friend with such good ideas." 

"Who do you need to move on from?" Mulder asked curiously.

"I'm drunk but not that drunk." She told him with a smirk. Mulder
watched her stumble over her own feet for a few seconds before
wondering if he ought to help her to bed, but she righted herself so
that potentially awkward situation was avoided. Yawning, he turned his
attention back to the TV once her bedroom door closed.

**

Late July

"Yes. Thank you." 

Reyes heard Mulder hang up the phone, then sit heavily in a chair. She
decided the pasta was not in dire need of supervision, so abandon it
to see was up.

"Everything ok, Mulder?" 

He was looking down, at his own hands or at the baby sprawled out on a
blanket sleeping she couldn't tell. "Scully's headstone is done. They
just called let me know that they would be putting it on her grave
soon."

"Oh." She blurted out, and cursed herself for not thinking of
something more comforting. He gets jolting news of this dead loved one
in all she can think of saying is oh? Not her best moment.

"I didn't expect it to be so soon... my dad was Jewish, so wasn't
until the first anniversary of his death that we have the unveiling...
I guess I should know more about Christian burials given that my
mother had one, but I was - I was gone when her headstone went up."

Reyes nodded. She wondered if he realized how often he spoke about his
parents that way. Mother. Dad. It probably reflected on his
relationship with them. Somehow. "In my experience, there isn't
usually any ceremony attached to headstones for Christians. It's just
delivered and people see it on their own schedules. That there are
often memorial services on their death anniversary, anyway."

"I didn't know that." Mulder said quietly. Reyes could tell that he
was wondering if his mother had had a memorial service while he had
been missing.

"There are a lot of Christian sects, see or not likely to find too
many universal practices, but I know Memorial services are-" she
struggled to find a more appropriate word then' popular'. "-common for
Catholics."

"I'll leave it to Maggie to plan if she wants one." On the floor
William began to stir, so Mulder picked him up. He paused on his way
to the kitchen for a bottle. "Were you raised Catholic?"

"Yes." 

Seeming satisfied with her answer he disappeared for a few minutes. 

"Did you go to Catholic school and all that?" He asked when he
returned.

"Through eighth grade." 

"It's hard to imagine you submitting to wearing a uniform everyday." 

"I'm not going to ask you what you mean by that." 

He waved his hand, until William shrieked when he lost his grip on the
bottles nipple. "Oops. I just meant you're not the conformist type.
How old were you when you left the church?"

"The nuns told me that I'd go to hell if I refused to be confirmed at
14. So then."

"Ah. Being raise by a nominal Jew and a nominal Protestant I missed
out on the touchy-feely aspects of religion like that." Mulder said
with a straight face.

Reyes snorted. "You missed out on so much." 

"Movies make me think so. No uniforms in my school, so no girls trying
to get around the dress codes-"

"I never tried to alter my skirts, but lots of girls did." 

"And you didn't even appreciated it they way I would have." Mulder
smirked.


**

A week later

The cemetery was hot. Everywhere was hot. Reyes would have felt bad
about Mulder sweating in his suit if she didn't already feel bad for
him for so many other reasons.

Like the fact that strapped to his chest was a little boy who never
had and never would know his mother.

Maybe it was William she felt for more. After all she felt a
kindredness there, never having known her real parents. But at least
she had had two loving adopted parents. When she tried to picture
growing up without one or the other, her imagination failed her. And,
since she honestly couldn't imagine Mulder with anyone but Scully, it
seemed likely that the child would never have a mother, natural or
otherwise.

She noticed that Mulder was staring with a perplexed frown at
something on the back of the headstone, so she reached over to give
his hand a commiserating touch. He jumped as if he'd been touched with
a live wire.

**

Mulder wasn't sure how to explain his startled reaction, so he didn't.
Fortunately Reyes took it in stride, so he didn't have to. Something
to be grateful of.

Unlike the thing that had captured his attention: his own name. Carved
into the smooth finish of the granite was his full name, his date of
birth and an ominous hyphen after which waited a spot for his date of
death. That's why he jumped - for a fraction of a second he imagined
that Reyes' gentle touch was the icy hand of death come for him.

Whoever had arranged for a double burial plot, most likely Maggie
since Bill hated him and Charlie had never met him, must have meant it
as a kindness, an acknowledgement of the role he'd played in Scully's
life, but it was an all too visceral nod towards his own mortality for
him to have been able to accept it with aplomb. Instead it seemed a
taunt, a demand that he realize that his own life was no more
guaranteed than hers had been; and, by aching extension, neither was
their son's.

**

August 19th, 2001

On a bright note, William was sleeping more than two hours at a time
at night, and was more alert during the day, which meant he spent
longer periods awake and practicing his new laugh whenever Mulder
tried to amuse him. The drawback was that because he was beginning to
take interest in the world at large, it was often difficult to get him
to sleep in the first place. Gone were the days of laying him in his
crib and watching as he feel asleep as soon as he hit the mattress.

Pacing, contrary to popular wisdom, didn't ever make his son's eyelids
heavy. And the one time he tried to let William cry himself to sleep,
he felt like a child abusing monster, so it only took ten minutes or
so to break him - but it felt longer - then he rushed into the nursery
and promised to never do it again.

The only thing that seemed to lull William to sleep some nights was to
sit in the rocking chair Maggie Scully brought over before she moved,
and sing. At first Mulder stuck strictly to the real words, having
diligently looked them all up on line, but after a while he began to
bore of that. So he made up his own words. The one that worked the
best, so far as he could tell, was his butchering of Hush Little Baby.

Hush little baby, don't you cry,
Papa's gonna sing you a lullaby

Hush, little William, don't give me lip,
Papa's gonna buy you a rocket ship

And if that rocket ship won't fly,
Papa's gonna buy you a telescope to spy

And if that telescope can't find them,
Papa's gonna get you a hacked security system

And if that security system fails,
Papa's gonna send an APB to all the jails

And if those jails don't keep the bad men in,
Papa's gonna buy you a hat lined with tin

And if that hat don't keep the voices out,
You'll still be my baby even if you're crazy and shout

So hush little baby don't you cry,
Momma would have loved you and Papa's in the FBI.

After the fifteenth night of singing it the last line didn't hurt his
chest any more. This time as Mulder's voice trailed off he looked down
and saw that the baby's eyes were scrunched tightly shut. They'd both
survived another bedtime.

**

September 10th, 2001

Cases that wrapped up on Mondays were never any fun, and the current
case was no exception to the rule. They drove back to the office in
near silence, not because there was tension between them, but because
they were so drained that there was nothing work talking about.

Doggett stretched when they got out of the car. "I'm so glad this day
is over."

"Me too." Mulder replied, but his mind was already on going up to the
daycare and retrieving his son. "I think tonight's going to be a slow
night for us, I'm tired and Reyes looks dead on her feet too. What
about you?"

 Doggett shrugged. "I was thinking of renting a movie that came out on
video last week. That one with the guy who has no memory."

"Memento?" 

"Yeah, I think so." 

"I bought that this weekend." Mulder told him, thinking of the
impromptu diaper run that'd lead to several other purchases. "I
haven't gotten a chance to see it yet. Want to come over tonight and
watch it?" Mulder asked impulsively. "If Reyes doesn't mind."

"I don't mind." 

 "So what do you say?" 

At first Mulder was sure that he was going to say no, but then a rare
smile lit up his face. "Okay, why not? It's not like another night at
home would do me any good."

**
Mulder brought William out into the living room soon after the movie
ended, because he could hear him snuffling over the baby monitor. His
guess was that the baby was bored, and he figured that it would keep
him from wailing.

Doggett looked up when Mulder sat on the couch." Can I hold him?" 

Mulder realized that he never had before and wondered fleetingly if
that too was something that would have been different were Scully
still alive; after all, she'd been much closer to Doggett.

"Sure." Mulder put the baby in his arms and was pleased to see that he
didn't need instruction on how to properly hold a baby. William seemed
to like Doggett, and smiled up at him.

And Doggett smiled back, setting a new daily record. "Would you look
at that red hair. When my son was this age his hair was so blond and
wispy you more felt than saw it."

Mulder wasn't sure what he should say about the dead child, because he
realized that even years later Doggett wasn't over it - how could he
be and be human? "He has Scully's eyes too. But at least he doesn't
have my nose." He added wryly.

Doggett didn't look up because his eyes were on William's hand, which
tightly grasp one of his fingers." I don't think your nose loses you
any points with the women who stare at you when we're out on cases."

"What women?" Mulder asked innocently.

Both Doggett and Reyes laughed, to his puzzlement.

"What?" 

"Nevermind, Mulder." Doggett told him. "When you went up to the
daycare Skinner called and said he just wanted Monica and I to go to
that interview tomorrow."

"Why?" 

"He said something about not needing three agents for the
preliminaries, and the daycare's hours. They want us there an hour
before you could drop off the baby."

Mulder threw his head back into the couch. "Great. I guess I'll be
doing the write up for this case too."

"I've got the next one. Promise." Reyes told him before offering him
some popcorn.

"Uh huh. Where is it that you're driving to so early in the morning?" 

Doggett waved his hand. "Some place I never heard of in New Jersey. I
think. Skinner said he'd fax me the directions tonight."

"You've got a fax machine?" 

"Yeah. It's a dinosaur that I almost never use since getting e-mail,
but it beats driving in even earlier for a map."

Mulder yawned. "I'm beat. Don't stay up too long, kids." 

"Sure, Dad." Reyes smirked at him. 

"Yeah, I'm out the door once I finish my soda." Doggett said, handing
Mulder his son.

"Have a good night." 

**

September 11th, 2001

Theskyisfalling, theskyisfalling.

The first reports about the plane slamming into the World Trade Center
came as Mulder was typing up a report about a case that involved
insects reacting in a strange way. His fingers stopped clicking as he
listened to the radio, one new addition to the X-Files office; there'd
never been one since he'd always found them distracting, but he was
recently outvoted. Staring at the small box in disbelief, he thought
about calling Skinner to find out if it had been a hoax.

Before he could, another report came on, informing all and sundry that
another plane has hit the trade center.

Skinner's line was busy when he dialed it, so he hung up, swearing in
disgust. The reports go on and on, talking about the horror. Mulder
tried go back to his reports after taking a mental inventory of those
he knows. No one was in New York. Well, probably not. The reports go
no where until 9:48am.

Then two things happened at once: the radio bleats about the pentagon
being struck, and an alarm goes off in the Hoover building, making
Mulder jump out of his chair in alarm as well. Until that very moment
he didn't even know that there were alarms for evacuation in the
building.

The next minute he was running. Not out of the building, but headed up
the stairs. He needed to get William. He couldn't lose William too,
not his last link to Scully, his baby...Running up the stairs, he heard
a couple of people telling him that he was going the wrong way, but he
didn't take the time to respond or even shake his head. They could
save themselves if they wanted, but he had to think of his son. All he
could think of was his son.

Horrible scenarios ran through his head as his shoes pounded the
stairs. Another plane might slam into the Hoover building, killing
everyone still inside. They could have evacuated the nursery early,
and he wouldn't find his son. What if the terrorists weren't satisfied
with the destruction a plane could work and resorted to nuclear
weapons instead?

The door slammed with the force of Mulder and another frantic parent
flinging it open together. It might have frighten the kids if most of
them weren't already crying because of the alarm sounds. All the
little kids were already being bundled into coats, and the babies into
carriers. Mulder could see the strain on the daycare workers faces-
there were twenty kids and only five of them. It was a perfectly legal
ratio, but it wasn't a realistic one when it came to moving that many
kids to safety.

He looked around frantically until he found one of the women putting
William in his carrier. A selfish part of him wanted nothing more than
to take his son and leave, going as far as he could drive, but he knew
that was wrong. The reason there were so many kids there whose parents
hadn't come for them was because people dropped their kids off for the
day while they went on cases.

"How can I help?" He asked hoarsely as he took William's baby carrier
by the handled. The frazzled woman pointed to another baby carrier. He
grabbed that handle too. The other father seemed to have come to the
same conclusion he had, and had another child- not his- in his arms as
well as his own daughter, as the seven, now eight as a mother arrived,
adults made their way out of the room, carrying the youngest children
and gently urging the older preschoolers and afternoon kindergarten
kids to walk with them in the proper direction.

Every second was an agonized eternity. They could be attacked while
they made their pain-staking way down the stairs. It was two floors to
the bottom, and a stern announcement repeatedly told them not to use
the elevators. All the adults knew why, but it didn't damper the
temptation to take the risk, if only to get to their destination
outdoors five minutes sooner.

At last they were outside, all twenty-eight of them. Every single one
of the adults looked up at the sky, scanning it for planes.

It took another three minutes to meet the rest of the building at the
fire drill spot across the parking lot. Surely some of the adults
standing and watching could have come and grabbed the older kids,
speeding up their progress, but they were too numb. Everyone was numb.

When they finally got there, Mulder had time to study the other baby
in his care. He thought it might be baby Joel, the ten-month-old son
of one of the agents on the first floor. He knew the agent only in
passing, but well enough to see that she didn't seem to be anywhere
around, and that observation seemed to bear out as parents came and
grabbed some of the kids, their own, their partner's children. Mulder
stared at them, how could they have simply left them behind, trusting
that someone else would get them out safely?

It seemed absurd to be standing under trees near a parking lot while
waiting for Armageddon, but it was really happening, so none of them
laughed. Not one.

There were a lot of tears during the emergency roll call, and not all
of them from the kids who remained in their little group because their
mothers or fathers weren't there to pick them up. Each time a name was
hollered through a bullhorn, there was a horrific pause- people held
their breath as they waited for a "here"or "She's in Pennsylvania," or
otherwise innocuous location. But some people were in New York; that's
what caused the tears. During roll Mulder learned that it was indeed
Joel that he was looking after, because one of the daycare people
shouted "Agent Mulder has him," much to his surprise. Joel's mother
was one of the people in New York.

Eventually roll was done, and they were told they could leave. People
began to scatter, still casting distrustful looks at the sky. Mulder
looked around helplessly. What was he going to do? A woman tugged on
his sleeve. "Do you think you could take Joel home? We called his dad,
and he won't be able to get to DC for about four hours since the
airlines are shutdown and he's coming from far away."

"Sure, give him my address." Mulder heard himself saying, glad that
his job didn't involve a daily flight as a commute. "Wait, what about
his mother?"

"We're still trying to reach her." He was told. "Most of the cell
phone calls into NY are being frozen."

He nodded, and was about to pick both babies up when someone ran over
to him with a diaper bag. It was only then that he recalled that the
daycare people had been hampered by bags as well as babies. It was a
good thing he got Joel's bag, since he didn't have anything back at
the apartment for a baby as old as Joel.

**

It wasn't a good drive home. As soon as he strapped the boys into the
backseat and got behind the wheel the realization hit him. These
innocent little souls were trusting him to keep them both safe, even
though the sky was falling. For all Mulder knew, Joel was now just
like William, minus a mother. And his cell phone wasn't working
either, so he couldn't call Doggett and Reyes and find out where they
were. The thought upset him greatly, because his famous memory was
failing him. Doggett had mentioned the night before that they were
working on a case and mentioned where, but he couldn't remember. He
thought the state had New in the name.

Mulder tried to distract himself with the babies instead of pacing
around the apartment. It worked pretty well since both were wet, and
both were hungry. Digging through the boy's diaper bag, Mulder learned
that Joel was eating solid food, which he didn't have any experience
with yet, so he was able to distract himself further by cleaning the
kitchen up while both boys slept in William's crib.

Joel was still sleeping when the frantic knocking on the door started.
Mulder looked through the peephole and guessed that the man looked
vaguely Joel-like, but it was hard to tell, so he put the rarely used
chain lock on before he opened the door.

"Agent Mulder? I was told you have my son." 

"Can I see your ID, please?" Mulder asked him politely, making no move
towards undoing the chain. The man pawed through his wallet and came
up with a perfectly ordinary license- Mulder thought he'd heard that
the man was lawyer- and the last name matched the missing agent's.

"He's asleep." Mulder told him as he let the man in and led him to the
nursery.

A visible relief washed over the man as he reached into the crib and
picked the sleeping child up. "I can't thank you enough for looking
after him."

"He was no problem..."Mulder paused. "Have you heard from your wife?" 

The other man nodded over the infant's head. "Just ten minutes ago.
She's fine."

"That's good to hear." And it was, he wouldn't wish losing a loved one
on anyone.

Once they were gone, Mulder resumed his pacing. He still hadn't heard
from Reyes or Doggett. He still couldn't remember where they were.
What if they were in New York? He was pretty sure it'd been New Jersey
that they'd been going to, but the states were so close they could
have gone into New York for something too. He and Scully had done so
more than once.

Nervous glances at the clock gave to irritable ones. Pushing away his
own frequent culpability on that score, he thought about how Scully
never would have gone off all day without giving him an itinerary. He
decided that the problem was that neither of his partners was Scully;
it was a problem nearly every damn day.

**

Reyes thanked Doggett as he dropped her off, then ran up the steps.
She hadn't been able to get to a working phone all day, because the
circuits had commandeered for emergency personnel use only. Her
worries about Mulder and William lessened as she got to the top of the
stairs and saw that there was light coming from the apartment's
windows. Mulder must be home.

What she didn't expect, however, was to open the door only to be
engulfed in a hug. "I couldn't remember where you said you and Doggett
were going." Mulder told her shakily before releasing her.

"We were in New Jersey." She told him, touched by his concern. 

"It's been a hell of a day." Mulder said quietly. "Right after the
pentagon was hit the building was evacuated. Two other parents and I
ended up helping the daycare evacuate. Then Agent Marks' son Joel went
home with me and William, since she was in NY, condition unknown, and
her husband a couple of states away. The husband came for Joel only an
hour or so ago- Marks is okay. All I could remember was that you'd
said the case was in a state that began with the word New..."

"At least it's all over." Reyes said, but neither of them believed
her.

**

Taking a step back, Mulder released a shaky sigh. Seeing her safe, he
wanted to berate her for not having told him where she and Doggett
were going. Wanted to accuse her of making him worry beyond his
threshold, which he lived so much nearer to since May...wanted to
express how upsetting entertaining the idea of him and William being
all alone - again - had been. But he didn't. Instead he said none of
these things aloud, unaware that his eyes told the story for him.

**

The phone rang at seven, startling them from the daze they'd sunk into
when the news channels began to scroll through the names in ages of
the victims who'd been on the doomed flights.

There had been an announcement earlier in the day that the phone lines
were being shutdown except for emergency calls, so they didn't expect
a called so soon. The phone continued its shrill complaint when Mulder
found that his fingers were clumsy when he tried to answer it. After
nearly dropping it, he managed to squeak out a "Hello?"

"Oh, thank God. I've been trying to reach you for hours, Fox." Maggie
Scully's voice sounded both relieved and accusing.

"They shutdown the phone circuits except for emergency personnel." He
said by rote, how many times had he heard that same sentence that day
before came out of his own mouth?

"But you're okay. I was so worried that I heard about the pentagon
being hit. For all I knew, you could have gone there for some reason."

"William and I are fine, Maggie. We were both at the Hoover building
until we, all the employees that is, were told to go home." He briefly
wondered if he should have mentioned bringing home baby Joel, but she
spoke before he decided one way or the other.

"I knew the baby would be fine at daycare, it was you I was worried
about."

"I'm touched." And he was.

"Have you written a will yet?" She asked abruptly.

"I've been meaning to." Mulder muttered guiltily. It really was on his
to do list, but the thought of writing a will was upsetting. As much
as seeing his name with the blank date on the tombstone had been.

"A day like today should serve to remind us that the unexpected
happens." Maggie lectured, as though he of all people needed reminders
that the unexpected was a part of life. "I talked to Charlie, and he
agreed to take William in if, God forbid, anything happens you. You
can write that into your will without any worries that he'll change
his mind. Charlie never changes his mind about the important things."

"Oh. But I don't even know Charlie-" Mulder began to protest, until he
thought of the alternative. Bill Jr.

"That reminds me, you're invited here for Christmas. Unless you other
plans?"

He wished desperately for other plans. If only to avoid spending time
with Bill Jr. "no. No plans."

"Your partners are okay too, right?" 

The sudden backwards lurch in conversation topic made his head ache.
He rubbed his forehead but it didn't help much. "They're both fine. I
was worried for a while because I couldn't remember it they'd gone to
New York or New Jersey, and the phones were out like I said earlier,
but... they're both okay." Except, they probably weren't. No more than
he was.

"I'm glad. John was very good to Dana when they worked together. I
suppose he has family to see over the holidays. What about your
roommate?"

"What about her?" 

"Is she going to see family over the holidays?" 

"Oh. I don't think so. Her mom's in Mexico, so that will make things
hard if the news is to be believed. They think that there will be
fewer flights than normal for a long while, especially international
ones."

Maggie didn't answer. He thought she must have covered her phone's
mouthpiece with her hand, because all he heard for the next minute was
a muffled conversation the background, none of which he could make
out. "Bring her with you, then. And if she's dating someone bring him
too."

"I don't think she's seeing anyone, but a pass along the invitation."
Mulder's lips worked into a wry smile.

"You take care, Fox." 

"I will. You too." 

"Kiss the baby for me." 

**

"What was that about? Reyes startled him when she appeared behind them
with William on her shoulder and even notice to leaving the room. He
found that he was startled a lot that day. "If you don't mind me
asking, that is." She added.

Maggie called to see if everyone is okay. And to extend and invitation
to go to Charlie's for Christmas."

"That's nice. Are you going to go?" She passed him the baby and the
bottle she must have gotten up to get.

"It was actually an invitation for three, or four, if you're dating
anyone by then." He grinned at her surprise look.

"She wants me to go? But I'm not part of the family." 

"Well, neither am I, really. I think she collects strays." 

Reyes smirked. "At least we are housebroken." William chose that
moment to split up on Mulder's shirt. "Or you and I are, anyway."

"Very funny. Get me a damp washcloth, please?!" 

**

Later that night Mulder checked on William to make sure that he was
asleep, and listened at Reyes' door. She seemed to be sleeping to. He
slipped his house-key into his pocket and went outside.

The stars were out, as well as half the waxing moon, and it was cooler
than he expected. His breath smoked as he looked up at the stars. The
farther it got from Scully's death, the more secretive he felt he
needed to be in order to talk to her. Outside, by then, since he was
afraid that Reyes would hear him in his room and make grave
pronouncements about his sanity.

But he still felt compelled to talk to Scully. Not every day, not even
often, but on special occasions. The type he would have turned to her
with had she still been alive. He turned his face towards the heavens,
and picked a star to focus on.

"Scully, do you know what happened today? So many people died...It was
so scary to not know what was going to happen next, and if the attacks
would continue. I don't think I've felt that powerless since the day
you died. Two instances of helplessness in four mouths. Either I'm
becoming a wuss, or it's been a really hard year.

"The babies distracted me some, but I was still so worried about John
and Monica-" he remembered that she would have probably called them by
first name. "- since I had no idea where they were. They could have
been at the world trade center for all I knew, then they would have
been gone too. Then there would be two fewer connections to you, two
fewer people to fight for the truth, and two more people that I would
grieve for.

"They're fine though. I guess you know that since they're not up there
with you, and neither are the type to be sent to fiery torment. I
guess now I know why you used to get so upset when I ditched you." He
chuckled weakly and shook his head. "I'm a slow learner. Love you."

After making his careful way back into the apartment, he held his
breath and listened for waking sounds. There were none. He'd gotten
away with it one more time.

**
	
Halloween 2001

"You're going to go Trick-or-Treating with us, aren't you?" Mulder
gave Reyes big, puppy-dog eyes. "William won't enjoy it as much if you
don't come with us."

He was soon disappointed to find that she was immune to his charm.
"William won't have any idea what's going on either way. He'll
probably sleep through it all. If you want candy, why don't you just
buy some?"

"Buy some." Mulder gave her a scandalized look. "It's not the same if
you buy it! The candy must be hard won by begging for it. Don't you
know that?"

"I didn't grow up in this country, remember?" She asked, looking
faintly amused.

"But...don't they celebrate The Day of The Dead in Mexico? I thought
that was a lot like Halloween."

"Well, in some ways. There are treats, but not eaten by the living.
And there are skeletons and ghosts, but they're your dead family
members, not scary."

"But no trick-or-treating?" Mulder had trouble processing that fact.

"Not when I was a kid. Mama says that it's becoming more popular now,
rubbing off on the kids down there, but it's pretty new."

"I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but...spending the day with
dead people is no way for kids to celebrate a holiday."

"But dressing up as a monster and wandering around in the dark while
taking food from strangers is?"

"Oh yeah." Mulder nodded enthusiastically. 

Reyes rolled her eyes.

"Come on, I'll split William's candy with you. What? He doesn't have
any teeth, I'm sure he won't mind."

**

Reyes found herself enjoying the evening in spite of herself, mostly
because Mulder was acting like a kid. A more than six foot tall kid.
He tried, unsuccessfully, to get her to dress as a pirate, but she did
consent to wear a mask shaped like a cat's face that they saw all
shopping at a warehouse store. For his part, Mulder went in full
costume: he wore a striped convicts outfit complete with a black and
white striped hat, and a ball and chain. Of course he'd made a rueful
comment about the only way he would ever get a ball and chain. He
dressed William up too, as tigger. He of course looked the cutest.

Which was something they kept hearing all night long. One of the
reasons that Reyes was reluctant to go trick or treating with them was
that she thought that people would complain that William was too
young, and that Mulder was obviously just using him to get candy, but
they all thought the baby was completely adorable and gave them more
candy then they probably would have gotten if accompanied by a less
adorable child.

"This kid is a gold mine." Mulder whispered to her as they walk away
from one of the houses. "If I was a little more ruthless I think I'd
be a stage parent. Everyone thinks he is adorable, getting work would
be a snap for him. We could live off his savings."

Her response was to punch him lightly on the shoulder. Mulder smirked,
something she could see in the moonlight.

"I said if." 

All of a sudden a whooping sound came out of the darkness at them. It
soon became clear that it was a gang of children, probably between
eight and 12 years old, and that they were doing their best to
frighten anyone they might come across. Grinning, Mulder decided to
play along." Oh scary!" He said, grabbing her hand with the one of his
not occupied with holding onto William.

The kids ran by them shrieking, and they both pretended to be very
scared, which satisfy the children very much. They ran away laughing
in the darkness. Reyes watched them, but her thoughts for more
occupied by the feeling of Mulder's warm fingers wrapped around hers.
It didn't mean anything, there were just playing to make those kids
happy, but it felt nice. It'd been too long since she felt another
hand, besides William' s, around her own. For moment she felt a
wistful longing that it could be Doggett's. But that disappeared as
soon as Mulder let go of her hand and started to head towards another
house to beg for more candy.

**

November 16th, 2001
1:15pm

"Christ, Mulder, are you okay?!" 

Mulder stared up at Doggett, wondering briefly how Doggett came to be
standing above him, and presently helping him to his feet. He'd been
on the ladder above Doggett just seconds earlier, so being flat on his
back came as a shock.

When Doggett hissed though his teeth and pointed at his arm, Mulder
realized that it did feel strange. Like it was no longer under his
control. "That's odd." He muttered, trying to get his hand to move on
command.

"Oh man... we're going to the hospital right away." Doggett told him.

Mulder nodded and watched him take off his coat, wondering why he'd do
that if they were leaving.

"I'm going to try not to hurt you, Mulder." Doggett said, and began to
bind Mulder's arm to his chest.

Reyes ran into the room at that moment. "I heard a crash, what
happened?"

Doggett finished what he was doing before he looked up at her. "Mulder
fell off a ladder and dislocated his shoulder. We need to bring him to
the hospital so they can put it back into place."

"What about the entity?" Mulder protested.

"We'll worry about that later." Reyes said firmly.

Mulder muttered about the possibility of it escaping but no one
listened to him. Instead they made him leave it to its own devices
while they left to seek medical attention.

Reyes lead the way out of the building and across the parking lot,
while Doggett helped Mulder. "Mulder, did you hit your head?"

"I hit everything." Mulder groaned.

"It's okay, the doctor'll check everything out." Doggett told him as
he helped him into the backseat of the car.

**

November 16th, 2001
Earlier that day...
eight am

Doggett gave Mulder a wary look when he saw the excited gleam in his
partner's eyes; he seldom thought of it as good news.

 Heaving a sigh, he asked, "Am I going to hate this case?" 

"You'll love it. Won't he Reyes?" Mulder turned to his roommate for
support. Her shrug did little to reassure Doggett.

"Don't keep me in suspense, what weirdness are we being sent to chase
after today?"

Mulder grinned at him." Shapeshifters. Or maybe just one." 

"Like the thing that looked like you when you were missing?" 

Mulder shook his head. "I don't think so. We had no evidence of the
alien bounty hunters being able to assume non-organic forms."

"Non-organic? As in inanimate objects?" Doggett asked rather calmly.
"What sort of creature are we talking about, here, Mulder?"

"The kind that impersonated a desk and terrorized a roomful of second
graders before shifting into a ball and rolling down the hallway to
make a fast get away."

"And these second graders are considered reliable witnesses? Little
kids are known for wild imaginations."

"But their thirty-seven year old teacher is not. Most people describe
her as logical and dry even. You should like her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Ignoring Doggett's muttered question, Mulder added. "They've closed
the school for the day, claiming 'heating problems'. We'll be meeting
with the principal and the teacher who witnessed the incident at
12:30."

"Can't wait." Doggett said sourly.

**

Amelia Earhart Elementary School
12:30pm

It seemed strange to see a school's parking lot almost completely
empty. The only cars there when they pulled in seemed to belong to the
principal and the teacher they were there to question. Mulder assumed
that the nicer car belonged to the principal, not the Ford Escort.

"It's a crime what they pay teachers." He remarked as they walked by.

Doggett snorted. "It's a crime what they pay us." 

"That too." 

"If you want to make a lot of money, you have to do something useless,
like act." Doggett added.

"Or play professional sports." Reyes said.

"Sports aren't useless!" 
"Wait, sports are very important to the morale of this country." 

Reyes rolled her eyes at her partners and pushed the door of the
building open. The principal and the teacher, both women, were waiting
for them in the lobby. The teacher looked shaken, but the principal's
face was studiously bland.

"So," Doggett began. "Which one of you saw a desk run away?" 

Mulder cringed a little bit; even he wasn't that blunt.

"I did." The teacher's voice was timid. "It's hard to believe, but it
really happened."

Reyes smiled warmly at her. "Why don't you tell us exactly what
happened? You might not have thought so from agent Doggett's tone, but
we've all seen things that are hard to explain, so we'll all keep open
minds."

Doggett took a step back, as if sensing that he oughtn't be in range
of elbows.

**

They continued the rest of the interview in the principal's office,
which had several comfortable chairs. Sitting there, the teacher
seemed to relax. A little.

"I had my back to the class, so I could put up the spelling words that
the kids were supposed to copy into their notebooks. We'll have a test
on Friday..."She trailed off, sensing that she was digressing. "There
was a bang and a couple of the kids started shouting about Jonny's
desk, so I turned around expecting to see that he'd dumped it on the
floor, or perhaps something had broken."

"But it hadn't?" Mulder prompted.

"No, it was ... moving. Have you ever seen a bull or horse trying to
buck a rider? It was like that. I couldn't figure out how it could
possibly be moving like that. Were we having a small earthquake? Had
Jonny somehow rigged up a mechanism to do it? As I was reminding
myself that Jonny was only eight, and not very bright either, it took
off for the door, moving jerkily, as if it was unused to running.
Which I guess it was..."She gave them a bemused smile. "For a couple of
seconds I was rooted to the floor, but then I ran to the door to see
where the crazy thing was going. It was shrinking. I don't know how
else to put it, but it collapsed in on itself, and got smaller, all
the while still straining to go forward. Eventually, it got small and
round and shot forward very quickly. Until it came to a wall, that it
simply bounced against and bored through."

"It put a hole in the wall?" Doggett asked, surprised.

The principal nodded. "We haven't repaired it yet, because we thought
you might want to see the damage."

"We would, thank you." Mulder told her, standing so they could go and
see the damage for themselves.

**

If the hole hadn't been perfectly round, and eight inches off the
ground, Mulder might have thought that it had been made by a very
industrious mouse, which had the fortitude to burrow through concrete.

Mulder shined his flashlight into the hole and saw very little.
Whatever had made the hole was no longer in it. "What's on the other
side of this wall?"

"It's a storage room. We used to use it as a classroom, but the
population in the school dropped a lot after the dotcom crash, so we
haven't used it this year."

"Are there lights in there?" 

"Oh yes. I'll show you." 

The room the principal lead them to did seem more storage room-like
than classroom. although, the dusty chalkboard, still etched with the
ghosts of former assignments gave its history away. There were desks
piled haphazardly, which Mulder eyed suspiciously; the whole lot of
them could have galloped into the room and posed themselves, waiting
for the unsuspecting to wander in before they struck.

When Mulder noticed Doggett eyeing the desks too, he held hope that
the other man was on the same wavelength. Then Doggett opened his
mouth. "Did the desk under suspicion have any identifying marks?"

When he turned to see the principal's reaction, he was a little
surprised to see that neither she nor the teacher were still there.

"I think they went back to the main office." Reyes said. "I'll go ask
them Doggett's question."

Mulder almost told her not to bother, but he caught movement out of
the corner of his eye. "What was that?" He asked Doggett, expecting
the classic ' What was what?' response.

"I don't know, I didn't get a good look at it." 

Though there were lights, the day was raw and gloomy, so all the
corners were in shadows.

They trained their flashlights into those corners, then dove backwards
when something shot at them.

It moved so quickly that they were barely able to make out the color -
silver. The color and the way it moved made Mulder think of mercury,
if a metal could decide that it had places it needed to go, and had
the volition to visit them.

Though they didn't say so aloud, both agents were glad that Reyes had
not yet returned with their hosts, because the fewer people who saw
them tripping over their own feet as they chased after the thing, the
better.

"Ah! It's coming right at us!" Doggett shouted in a tone strangled by
shock.

The thing stopped momentarily, then headed back at them, not seeming
to have lost any momentum at all. Which was impossible.

Given what it had done to the wall, diving out of its way seemed like
the smart thing to do, so they did. It soared past them, and bounced
back into the classroom.

There were crashes, and the light leaking out of the doorway into the
hallway ceased.

"It took out the lights." Doggett hissed, reaching for his flashlight.

They approached the room cautiously, holding their flashlights ahead
of them like swords. The floor was littered with broken glass. Mulder
shined his flashlight up at the ceiling . "The light fixtures!" He
hissed.

"What about them?" 

"There are two of them. When we were in this room earlier there was
only one."

"So you think that...thing is imitating the light fixture?" 

Mulder resisted the urge to groan about time wasted by repeating the
obvious. "Yeah. Look at them. They're exactly the same."

"Wouldn't they be if they were made by the same company." Doggett
asked doubtfully. "And look, the bulbs aren't broken identically."

Mulder took a moment to reply, because he'd found a ladder and was
dragging it under the fixtures. "Of course they're not. That'd give
them away." Mulder began to scale the ladder. "Maybe you should look
for something to trap it in when I grab it. I'll throw it down to
you."

Doggett looked around, and found an old habitrail. "Yeah, okay. I hope
it doesn't bite. How do you know which one it is?"

"I think it's this one, because it's off center." 

Two things happened at once: Doggett looked down to open the cover to
the habitrail, and Mulder, at the top of the ladder reached too far
and overbalanced himself.

As he fell off the ladder he saw one of the light fixtures recoil in
surprise, which would had been gratifying if he wasn't rapidly
approaching the corner of one of the discarded desks shoulder first.

** 

November 16th, 2001
4:15pm

The doctor made Mulder promise to wear the sling for a week, and
threatened him with permanent damage when he was reluctant to agree.
"So, do you think he meant permanent damage from the injury, or he was
planning to hurt me?" Mulder asked as they headed back to the Hoover
building.

Reyes snorted. "I wouldn't put the latter past him. It'll be okay,
you'll just have to learn to diaper one-handed." The look of surprise
he gave her made her face break out into a grin. "Or not."

**

It was fortunate that had been a carpool day for Reyes and Mulder
because it meant no one would have to drive his car home. As it was,
Mulder was unhappy that he needed Reyes to go with him to pick up
William at daycare; at first he insisted that he could manage with his
good arm-until his partners reminded him of something that he failed
to take into consideration: doors.

Predictably, The Hair made a fuss when she caught sight of his sling.
"Agent Mulder! Did you break your arm??"

He grimaced, was relieved to see that Reyes was taking advantage of
the distraction and was gathering William's belongings. "No, I just
managed to dislocate my shoulder. I should probably be back to normal
in a week."

The woman nodded. "At least you'll have the long weekend coming up
next week to recuperate." She wandered off towards the infants room,
but soon returned with Mulder's sleepy son, whom she deposited in
Reyes arms before turning back to Mulder. "We were fussy today. He's
probably teething, so I hope you have a few teething rings at home."

"His skin looks flushed." Reyes noted as she buckled him into the baby
carrier.

"Sometimes teething is accompanied by low-grade fever,"  The Hair said
in a teacherly tone that grated on both agents. "Some baby Tylenol
should take care of that and pain."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks." Mulder said. "Reyes, mind if we stop at a
drugstore in the way home? "He remembered that he only bought one
teething ring so far, and had no baby Tylenol to speak of.

Reyes gave him a curious look. "I'd planned on it anyway. You were
going to take the pain meds you were prescribed, weren't you?"

"Um... sure." He give her rueful smile; light of the woman he knew
never want him to do the manly thing - grin and bear it?

**

November 17th, 2001
1:04am

Curling up on her side, Reyes thought about Doggett. He'd been so kind
to Mulder that it led her thoughts in the direction of knights in
shining armor, which was a really appealing image. Knights always had
maidens they were honoring. One hand slipped under the waistband of
her sleep pants and she thought about Doggett's lips, how soft they
would be if she kissed them, and he kissed her back. Her hips moved
lazily when his icy blue eyes soften as he looked down at her. A soft
sound escaped her as he dragged a thumb over one swollen nipple and
she pushed herself against her palm-

And then the doorknob rattled. Shocked and mortified, she pulled her
hand away so fast that there was an audible snap of elastic waistband.
To her infinitesimal relief, Mulder seemed too panic-stricken to have
noticed anything.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but William is really sick. He's burning up, I
want to bring him to the e.r, but..."He plucked at his sling with his
good hand.

"Okay, I'll drive you. Just give me a couple of minutes to get dressed
and use the bathroom." Fortunately, it seemed as though he'd dressed
himself without any trouble, which made her glad, since she'd had her
doubts on that score. Helping with an injured
adult's grooming was more than she signed up for.

"Thank you." He sounded so truly grateful that she almost forgave him
for embarrassing the hell out of her. Not that he knew. "I'll get
William wrapped up."

"Okay, but don't try to pick him up." 

An unpleasant heavy sensation in her nether regions accompanied her
down the hall, and only served to remind her that like her daydreams,
it was yet another reason to feel completely unfulfilled. In the
bathroom she spent twice as long as she should have washing her hands.
It was ridiculous, but she still couldn't shake the alarm at the idea
that her roommate might figure out what she'd been doing when he
interrupted. "All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little
hand." She muttered under her breath. The thought made her wonder
briefly about her monk-like roommate; if he did his sheets more often
than reasonable, she hadn't noticed since they'd solved her only
laundry issue months ago.

By the time she threw clothes on, Mulder was pacing William's room,
with one coat sleeve flapping emptily. One look at the baby told her
exactly why Mulder had woken her up: his skin was flushed nearly as
red as his hair. Whatever was wrong with him, it went beyond teething.
To her surprise he wasn't screaming, but only whining fretfully. His
warm little body against her shoulder felt like she'd imagine a roast
just out of the oven would, if held in a similar fashion.

"Mulder, why don't you get the door?" 

He raced off, apparently happy to be of some help, despite not having
use of one arm. At the car he climbed in back to sit beside William's
car seat, and she didn't think it was a bad idea. Mulder's soothing
noises accompanied their whole drive.

**

She'd scarcely pulled William out of his car seat before Mulder was
rushing ahead to get the door. He almost seemed disappointed when it
slide open on its own.

The only good thing about going to the hospital in the middle of the
night was that the ER was nearly deserted. There were just a couple of
green-tinged people sitting in the waiting area listlessly looking at
magazines and a nurse yawning behind the reception desk.

Mulder made a beeline for the desk, and Reyes, burdened with the baby,
trailed behind.

"My baby is sick." He told the in-take nurse before she even looked up
at them.

The glance she gave them was scarcely interested. "Maybe Mom should
fill out the insurance forms while you take him to the triage nurse.
"She suggested in deference to his injury.

Of course the intake nurse thought that Reyes was William's mother.
"No, I'm...we're roommates." She stammered.

"My son's mother is no longer living." Mulder clarified in a flat
voice.

After that the nurse ignored her completely, speaking only to Mulder.

**

When Mulder went out to the waiting room to find Reyes his face was
drawn. The doctor's preliminary assessment hadn't been very
reassuring. It had been his hope that he'd be told that he was
over-reacting, but the doctor had agreed that William was not well. He
was too tired to remember what the doctor said might be wrong, but it
sounded exotic and awful.

"What am I going to do if he's not okay?" Mulder fretted. The look
Reyes gave him seemed to suggest the thing that he'd been trying not
to think about since the second he realized that his baby was sick; if
he lost his son, he'd gone on, just as he had when he lost Scully.
Every time the world fell down around him, he was left standing,
bewildered and grieved.

"Have faith, Mulder. "Reyes said at length. "You believe in so many
things...extend that to faith in a doctor's ability to heal and
William's drive to survive."

Before he could form a reply a voice interrupted. "Mister Mulder?" It
was a different doctor.

He hardly dared look at the man, but when he did he didn't see much
pity on the doctor's face, which came as a relief. "Y-yes?" Still his
voice trembled.

"Your son has influenza. I'd like to keep him over night, but he's
feeling better if you'd like to see him now."

"Of course I'd like to see him, but the other doctor said she thought
he had..." Mulder trailed off trying to remember the disease's name.

Giving a rueful shake of his head, the doctor said, "Doctor Swain and
I discussed his symptoms and agreed that her initial suspicion was
based on mistaking what appears to me to be diaper rash for another
rash."

The doctor's candor surprised Mulder. "He got the rash a few days ago
when someone at daycare mixed up his bag with another child's and put
him in cloth diapers."

"Great for the environment but the detergent many diaper services use
are too harsh for sensitive skin." The doctor nodded knowingly. "Let's
go see hi, now, shall we?"

When they got to the room, William was sound asleep. Sweaty hair clung
to his forehead and an IV sprouted from his foot but he looked much
improved already.

"I know that the IV probably looks alarming, but one of the biggest
dangers of influenza in infants is dehydration." The doctor told them.

Reyes was the only one really listening to the doctor. Mulder had
tuned out shortly after it became clear that his baby was going to be
okay. It was the only thought his head had room for.
Mulder was reaching out a hand to push William's hair off his forehead
when the doctor's voice broke his reverie. "Mister Mulder? Next year
you might consider scheduling a flu shot for William. It's approved
for infants six to twenty-three months old."

His eyes widened in horrified surprise. Flu vaccines for babies were
another thing he'd never heard of. How could he keep his son safe when
there was so much to learn, and only him to do the learning? "Do you
mean I could have gotten him a shot and he wouldn't be miserably sick
now?" Mulder's voice was hoarse.

To his surprise, the doctor shook his head. "Babies have to get two
shots the first year to be effective, one in October and one in
November. According to William's chart he's not quite six months old,
so he wouldn't have been given one last month." The doctor gave him a
knowing look. "You couldn't have prevented this, so don't blame
yourself."

Mulder's reply was a shaky laugh. "Easier said than done." 

"Do you want to stay with your son? The chair's not terribly
comfortable, but..."

"I'll stay." Mulder said, then looked apologetically at Reyes. "If
picking me up later isn't too inconvenient for you."

"I could stay too." Reyes replied, covering her mouth immediately
afterwards to smother a yawn.

"You need some sleep." 

"What about you?" She asked. "You didn't sleep much either." 

"I'll sleep when he's better." 

*

Digging through her purse for her keys on the way out, it occurred to
her that he'd been telling the truth. One day at lunch she ate with
Scully, and the redhead had been in the mood to reminisce, so she'd
told Reyes about Mulder's proclivity not to sleep when there was
something important going on, and how it had always made her crazy
because she was afraid he'd fall asleep while driving.

The door that Mulder had frantically tried to open a couple of hours
before opened on its own with a gentle hiss. He'd stay awake now. What
could be more important to him than his son?

**

November 19th, 2001
4:27 pm
Packing with one hand wasn't easy work, but Mulder was nearly done
stuffing all of William's things into the requisite plastic bag
provided by the hospital. Langly had dropped him off a while ago so he
could spend the afternoon with William, and Reyes was planning to
swing by after work to get bring them both home.

William didn't know that he was going home, but he did seem to realize
that he was feeling a lot better. He was all smiles when the nurses
came in, and seemed to eat up the attention they showered on him.
Mulder ruefully wondered if he was going to miss his fan club now that
he was going home. But he wasn't going to worry about that until after
he managed to tie the bag closed with one hand.

"Mulder?" 

Mulder looked up in surprise, since it wasn't Reyes' voice he heard.
"Afternoon, Doggett." He greeted his other partner with a puzzled
smile.

Doggett addressed the baby first. "Hey Champ, feeling better? I hear
you gave your old dad quite a scare."

"Watch who you're calling old." Mulder growled jokingly." He's feeling
a lot better, aren't you, Bub?"

"Good to hear." Doggett replied. "You have enough scares in your day
to day life without health ones."

"At least, other people's health." Mulder smiled wryly, flapping his
sling. "My own health scares are chronic."

"I think I'd heard that about you." Doggett nodded, then divulged the
reason he was there. "Reyes isn't going to be able to bring you home,
so I'm here to do the honors."

"You lost the bet, huh?" 

Doggett shrugged. "I think Skinner had a hidden ace up his sleeve. I
suppose there are worse things to wager on. And before you ask, Reyes
put the car seat in my car before I left the Hoover building."

William's doctor came by a couple of minutes later and signed the
discharge papers. Mulder's was officially no longer a prisoner of the
hospital, and he felt like he'd been granted parole too, since he'd
spent almost all of the past two and a half days there with him.

He watched as Doggett carefully put on William's coat, and held him
close as the three of them walked out of the room and down the hall.
There was something about the confident way that Doggett held William
that made Mulder very sad. The other man obviously knew exactly what
he was doing, but it didn't seem likely that he'd ever have another
child of his own to fill those knowing arms. He could understand,
though. If by some horrible stroke of fate William was taken from him,
he didn't think he'd want another child, either.

*

After they'd slammed the car doors, Doggett looked over at Mulder.
"So...You've got the okay to come back to work on Monday, right?"

"Yeah. And I was worried I would be bored with the time off. I should
have been more careful about what I wished for." Mulder replied,
twisting in his seat for a moment to glance back at William.

"I guess you'll want to go back to the school then, and look for
that...thing."

Mulder shook his head, and Doggett gave him a surprised look. "It's
probably long gone by now. It let itself be seen twice, and I have a
feeling that it has learned its lesson about people by now. We could
go by there every day for a month and never see it again. Although, if
the school reports seeing it again, I'd be happy to concede that I was
wrong and return."

"You're willing to give up on the mystery, just like that?" Doggett
asked.

"We don't solve all our cases." Mulder shrugged. "You ought to know
that by now."

"I do. I'm just surprised that you don't want to pursue this further."


"Although I'm too often overzealous, I'd like to think that others
don't consider me a fool."

Doggett shook his head. "Anyone who would sum you up with a simple
one-word label doesn't know you well at all."

"Thanks. I think." 

"I calls 'em like I sees 'em." 

**

Thanksgiving 2001

When Mulder opened the door Langly was standing in the hallway with a
large box sprouting wires precariously balanced in his arms.

"What's that?" Mulder asked warily. It didn't look at all edible.

"Give me a hand, would you?" He asked, waiting for Mulder to oblige.
"This is a one of a kind, state of the art, video baby monitor."

Mulder was tempted to ask why they thought he needed it, but kept his
mouth shut because it was a well intentioned gift, even if he
suspected that he'd get little use out of it.

"We can set it up after dinner." Langly added.

"Sure." He sniffed the air and didn't smell anything but plastic. "Is
Byers cooking, then? Since you're not."

"Yeah, I can't even peal potatoes without getting yelled at." Langley
smiled wryly. "But no, Frohike is cooking."

Mulder stared at his blond friend. "You're kidding." 

"Nope. He's twice the cook that Byers or I are. Who do you think cooks
all the cheese steaks?"

"I never really thought about it..."

"Someone get the door!" A voice grumbled. 

Mulder had to make his face deliberately blank when Frohike entered
lugging a huge foil covered turkey - while wearing a "kiss the
chef"apron. He supposed that was one way to keep grease off the
leather jacket he was wearing under it.

Spending the holiday with the gunmen wasn't something he'd ever
pictured, but his defenses had been down when they'd asked him after a
sleepless night over the summer. When it became clear that getting a
flight out of the country was going to be a bigger pain in the butt
than Alvin Kersh, they expanded their plans to include Reyes. She
graciously accepted the invitation, and before long the venue became
their apartment rather than the gunmen's lair. Which was probably more
baby-safe anyway, so Mulder went along with the changes without
protest.

Beyond opening doors, Mulder wasn't allowed to make himself of use,
and was instead was banished to the living room. He attempted to amuse
William for a while, shaking his otherwise purposeless keys with the
hand of his good arm, but the baby soon got bored and whiny. Byers
came to the rescue and kept William surprisingly entertained by
talking about the football game; Mulder wasn't sure which was more
shocking, that the baby seemed to be watching the TV or that Byers
seemed to know his stuff. On further reflection, he decided that given
the name Byers parents chose, his father had probably made sure that
his son was familiar with the favorite sport of the Kennedy boys.

"Hey Byers, did you play football in high school?" 

"No, I only played peewee. Why?" 

"I was just picturing William with sport injuries of his own." He
flapped his sling for emphasis.

There was an amused look on Byer's face. "Investigation of a case is a
sport?"

"If you're doing it right." That made all three of them laugh. "Hey,
did you know Will can sit up on his own now? Put him on the couch an
you'll see."

"I don't know... I don't want to hurt him..." 

"The worst that'll happen is that he'll tumble over sideways on the
soft cushions. Just position yourself in front of him."

Still looking doubtful, Byers picked the baby up and positioned him on
the couch. "Hey! He's doing it!"

"What did I tell you?" 

*

Mulder fed William bites of pumpkin pie, making his son chortle in
delight, which in turn made all the adults smile.

"I'd say it's unanimous, Frohike." Mulder said. "Everyone thinks
you're a great cook."

"It's too bad that he doesn't have enough teeth to have turkey too." 

"More for us." Langly declared. "Anyone else eyeing that leg?" He
eagerly reached for it after they shook their heads.

" Does you family have any special Thanksgiving traditions?" 

"No. We don't celebrate the holiday in Mexico, so it's just a nice
time to visit home."

"Geez, do you people celebrate any holidays down there?" Mulder
griped. "No Halloween, no Thanksgiving, you kids got ripped off."

Everyone ignored his bad joke. 

Frohike left the room briefly and returned with plastic wine glasses
and a bottle of cheap champagne. "I think it's time for a toast. Who
wants to give it?"

"I do." Mulder said, surprising everyone including himself. They gave
him encouraging looks, and he raised his glass. "This has been one of
the two hardest years of my life. Yet there are still things that make
me get up every morning. And those things are you. Friends who care, a
child who smiles when he sees me...in the face of loss it's people
like you that make me go on, and for that I'm infinitely grateful. To
friends and new family."

"To friends and new family." 

The dull click of plastic touching plastic was an unimaginably festive
sound.

**

December 3rd, 2001

Having spent half the night before up with a teething baby, then
working eight hours, left Mulder completely exhausted. William fell
asleep during the drive home, so Mulder took the utmost care bringing
him in to assure that he stay asleep. Three minutes after tucking
William in, he was in his own room, drawing blankets over his head to
block out the dying daylight. He hadn't bothered to get undressed
first; kicking off his shoes had taken as much effort as he could sum
up.

Mulder slept for three hours. He dreamed of Scully.

In the dream Scully had the baby, and he wasn't around. Actually, he
was there but no one noticed him, so he decided he must be a ghost, or
maybe having an out-of-body experience. She dragged an unfamiliar
carriage into a coffee shop/cyber cafe and logged onto her e-mail
account. At first he couldn't figure out why she'd gone there to do
e-mail since she had access at both the office and her apartment, and
she wasn't the type to be so eager a message couldn't wait, but as she
typed in the to address he understood two things. First that she'd
gone to the cafe seeking a domain address that wouldn't easily be
traced back to her. And second, he wasn't a ghost because she was
writing to him.

It seemed as though he was in hiding, making the dream a continuation
of the ones he'd had right after she died. He wanted to know where his
dream-self had gone, but the message that she typed was impossible to
read. There was a word here or there he could pick out, but if he ran
hid eyes back over a line, the words seemed to have rearranged
themselves. It made him wonder if the gunmen had created an elaborate
encryption program or her, but there didn't seem to be a way to
install outside programs on these terminals, and in any case he hadn't
seen her install anything. The e-mail account seemed perfectly
ordinary too. The frustration of tying to learn something from her
message got to him, so he shouted as she got up to leave, perhaps her
name or a swear or both, trying to get her attention. She never looked
up. But William did.

When Mulder woke up shortly after he felt disoriented; the dream
seemed real and unreal at the same time. Likewise, having seen Scully
alive, if only in his subconscious, left him feeling torn. It made him
happy and left him with the sense that he would weep.

After a few minutes he pulled himself together and stumbled out of his
room to see what was going on. The baby was still asleep in his crib,
so Mulder didn't disturb him.

Reyes was on the couch, curled into a tight little ball. He thought
from the look on her face that she wasn't feeling well.

"Are you all right?" 

"No." 

That she admitted to feeling as bad as she looked worried him. Maybe
she'd caught the flu from Will, but he thought it had been too long.
"What's wrong?"

"Don't ask." 

A light bulb went off for him just then. There had been enough women
in his life for him to be able to crack that particular code. "Will's
still sleeping. Would you be okay if I went to the store? I wouldn't
be gone long."

"Yes. We're out of baby food." 

"I know, and diapers, almost." 

"He likes the bananas. But not the peas." 

"Neither do I." Mulder made a face. "Do you need anything?" 

"No, but thanks." 

*

Mulder mentally added a few things to his list as he put the baby food
and diapers in the cart. Shaving cream because he was nearly out. A
bottle of Advil. Salted sunflower seeds. A hot water bottle because
his mother had told him the truth about why she'd kept one in the
bathroom cabinet - the warmth is good for menstrual cramps - making
him regret asking. Two bags of Russell Stover chocolate Christmas
balls, since he had a sweet tooth too...

Reyes surprised him with a hug of gratitude. Who knew that it took
such small things to brighten a friend's day?

**

December 5th, 2001

When the phone began to ring, Reyes put William into his playpen so he
could amuse himself. Mulder wasn't due back for an hour, and she had a
feeling that she might be on the phone for quite a while because the
call was one she was expecting - her mother. She handed William a blue
stuffed bunny before grabbing the phone off the cradle.

"Monica, I was watching the news about flights." He mother said
without even giving her the chance to say hello. "You won't be coming
home for Christmas."

It was a statement rather than a question, so she knew her mother
understood how big a problem flying was right then.

"I'm sorry." 

"I will miss you a lot." Neva said mournfully.

"I wish I was coming home too, but it's still hard to get a flight
out. And it'd probably be even harder for you to come here."

"I know. The bullies at customs, Madre Mary." Reyes could hear her
mother click her tongue.

"I'm glad that you'll be having dinner with Tia Maria's house, so you
won't be alone."

"What about you?" Neva asked, sounding sad.

"Actually, William's grandmother asked us to come and see her and her
sons. I thought I'd do that."

"What if you hate El Nino's family? It'd be rude to leave so you'd be
up mierdra creek como no paddle."

Reyes blew her hair out of her eyes irritably. "Mama, if you're going
to resort to trite clichés, could you keep them all in the same
language from beginning to end?"

"What does trite mean??" Neva asked suspiciously.

The question reminded Reyes of something she often forgot - though her
mother's English was good, it wasn't her native language.

"It means so over-used it's practically meaningless." 

Her mother snorted. "So sorry I can't be original for your liking." 

"God..." Reyes thought she muttered it under her breathe but her
mother heard.

"Nice thing, take el Padre's name in vain." 

Reyes was suddenly glad that she didn't make an issue earlier about
her mother's joy at nicknaming her roommate's son after the
unpredictable weather front; it would have prolonged their argument,
which she intended to nip in the bud. "I'm sorry, Mama."

"It's not me you need to worry about. Tell Dios you're sorry." 

"Um, yeah, okay. Take care of yourself, Mama. I'll fly down to see you
the next time I'm on vacation."

"If the planes get better. If they give you a vacation." Neva muttered
darkly.

"Both things will happen by Spring, I promise." 

"Call me Christmas day." Reyes' mother demanded.

"I will. Love you." 

"Te amo, tambien." 

A huge sigh escaped her as soon as she hung up the phone. Apparently
this amused William, because he laughed, mouth wide open to show off
new front teeth, and clapped. "I'm glad I amuse someone. You don't
know what a pain in the butt mothers can be."

As soon as the words escaped her mouth she was filled with horror.
William's bright eyes and big smile that completely lacked
comprehension only made her feel worse. She picked him up out of the
playpen and held him tight. "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to say
that. I just forget sometimes."

William patted her on the head, and she took it as a sign that he
forgave her.

**

December 17th, 2001

There was an insidious, yet subtle message to the toy ads in December.
They meant, but did not come out and say, that parents who did not buy
their children a king's ransom worth of toys were bad people and would
be setting their children up for psychological problems, as well as
social ones. Skimp on the gifts under the tree during the formative
years and you might just be raising the next school shooter.

Many parents caved to the pressure, and Mulder was no exception. He'd
left William and Reyes back at the apartment watching Christmas
specials, while he pulled on his boots and set out to battle the
elements so he could get his Christmas shopping done once and for all.
Reyes had tried to stop him, saying that William was too young to have
any idea what was going on for the holidays, but Mulder had given her
a look. She wasn't a parent, so what did she know about the damages
inflicted on young psyches that were deprived of developmentally
appropriate toys? He sensed that no good would come from pointing out
her naivete, so he'd just given her a sheepish smile and left.

In the toy store he quickly learned the ins and outs of toy shopping.
Keep your head down, absolutely no eye contact with the other frantic
shoppers. Try not to look at something you're interested in too long,
least you attract the fierce-eyed notice of a more seasoned shopper,
who'll then swoop in for the kill, depriving your child of the
interesting piece of plastic you were contemplating. The other
shoppers seemed to adhere closely to the unspoken rules, so, as not to
stand out, he made the attempt to as well.

Which is how he nearly knocked over Leyla Harrison with his shopping
carriage. The only reason she didn't fall on her butt was that
stumbling backwards, a display of stuffed animals kept her on her
feet. Barely.

"Oh, no!" Mulder exclaimed, reaching out a hand to steady the woman as
she tried to regain her balance.

"Don't worry, it was an acci-" A look of recognition passed over her
face, making it clear that she hadn't taken a good look at her
assailant until then. Not that he'd recognized her until just then,
either. "Agent Mulder!"

"Uh, hi, agent Harrison." He muttered, feeling even more embarrassed
now that he realized that his victim was someone he knew. "Christmas
shopping?"

"Yeah, for my nieces Ali and Laura." Harrison said brightly. The
basket she held in her hand was overflowing with pink boxes, and he
could see plastic shoes peeking over the lip of the basket, so he
assumed the girls were early elementary age.

"So, your baby must be getting big by now. Boy or girl?" 

"Boy. His name is William." 

"A nice traditional name." Harrison looked around suddenly. "Is he
home with Mom? How is agent Scully, anyway?"

A pained feeling in his gut nearly knocked Mulder off his own feet.
Nearly everyone he talked to knew that Scully was dead, or never met
her so they didn't care. It had never occurred to him that he'd be
running into people this late who had no idea that she'd died. "Um.
William's birth was very difficult, and Scully was weaker than anyone
had anticipated..."

A sudden horror filled the blonde agent's eyes. "She died?" 

He was grateful that she'd figured it out so he didn't have to say the
words himself. "Yes."

"Oh my god, how horrible! I'm so sorry." 

"Thank you." 

"It must be hard, just you guys all alone." Harrison said
sympathetically.

"Actually, one of my partners rooms with us, and she's a big help with
the baby." Mulder said. "Agent Reyes has been a lifesaver."

The other agent nodded. "It's great to have help when things are
rough."

"It sure is." 

An announcement that the store would be closing in twenty minutes
interrupted their awkward conversation. "I guess we better finish our
shopping." Harrison said. "Have you considered getting your son some
soft blocks to stack? My nieces loved them when they were around his
age."

"That's a good idea, thanks." 

"Have a good Christmas, agent Mulder." 

"You too, agent Harrison." 

After they exchanged greetings they went their separate ways in the
store. Mulder shook his head, marveling that surreal experiences could
be found anywhere, even in as mundane a place as a toy store.

**

Christmas 2001
 
Despite having gotten up at 3am to make it there by noon, the long
trip to New England wasn't as bad a drive for Mulder as the one the
week of William's birth had been. Then he'd been terrified of single
parenthood, and his grief was like a sword wound to the side, draining
him of the will to live himself, with only a sense of duty to his
child pushing beyond that. By Christmas, however his grief had most
scabbed over, and as long as he didn't pick at the scabs or bump
against something unexpected, it just hurt dully.

Reyes was quiet, reading a book, not sleeping like William was. She
probably wouldn't have minded if he wanted to talk, but he didn't.
Instead he let his mind wander, the way he liked to when he was
driving. These were the things he thought of while the tires ate miles
on the highway He'd never even heard of Stockholm, New Hampshire so he
didn't spend much time anticipating the town; although he did wonder
about the prolifera of international capitals as town names in
northern New England: Paris, Rome, Poland, Berlin, Egypt... but the
town itself figured into the trip very little, since he and Reyes were
only planning to make a polite appearance then leave, not enjoy the
wonders of whatever attractions the place might have.

No, the whole purpose of the trip was to give his son access to his
extended family. Even if it wasn't something he wouldn't remember, it
was important. Maggie had explained how on the phone, but he hadn't
paid much attention. The fact that it was something he couldn't
provide had filtered through enough to make him feel guilty. Just
because he didn't feel a overwhelming sense of loss about not having a
family, though his sister was still a dull ache that woke him
breathless some nights, it didn't mean it was okay to cut his child
off from blood relations if there was an alternative. Even if that
alternative included Bill Scully junior.

He didn't like thinking about Bill, so he thought about the scenery
instead. It was far less likely to one day snap and punch him, so he
felt more at peace when it centered in his thoughts. Massachusetts
still looked like civilization to him, especially Boston with its
endless Big Dig construction and hornet's nest of snarled traffic, but
north towards the border, wilderness encroached. Maggie had described
the area as "Rural"but that word conjured the wrong mental picture:
one of vast fields, placid cattle and grain silos like the one Krycek
had once vacationed in.

There, on the way to Stockholm, rural meant undeveloped land, acres
upon acres of it in some towns, and undeveloped meant trees. Back in
high school he was taught that there was more forest land in the North
East during the twentieth century than the eighteenth because farms
grew little but rocks and were given up on during the
industrialization, leaving the trees to their own devices. Unlike food
crops, the trees flourished, or at least those who didn't begin life
in the shadow of larger trees did, then they took over, blocking the
view of much else along side the traveled roads.

Glancing out the driver side window, it seemed to him that the forests
had crept in even more since the last time he'd been to New Hampshire,
back during the Milford Haven case almost seven years earlier. He
could almost imagine the trees becoming rootless at night and slowly
creeping towards the highways...

"Sixty more miles." 

"What?" He blinked in confusion, surprised that there was a voice
besides the one in his head.

Reyes pointed a long slender finger at the windshield. "That sign
there, sixty miles to Stockholm, fifteen to Portsmouth." Reyes
pronounced the last word carefully - and completely incorrectly.

Her pronunciation of the latter town made Mulder grin." Actually they
say 'ports-mith', or maybe 'ports-muth' depending on how thick the
accent is, similar to how Plymouth from the Mayflower story is
pronounced."

"Why say it differently than it's spelled?" 

"Who knows? For the same reason Haverhill is Hav-rill not Haver-Hill
and Worchester is Wuster, not War-Chester. It's a way to immediately
identify the tourists."

Reyes nodded. "So how do you say Braintree?" 

"Braintree." 

"Figures. What the hell is a Braintree anyway? Trees don't even have
brains."

"Did I ever tell you about the case Scully and I had in Leon Country,
Florida? There were these mutants that seemed very tree-like..."

**

William woke up about ten miles before they reached Stockholm. He
seemed to be in a good mood, so Reyes didn't have to go to any great
lengths to keep him entertained. Peek-a-boo and tickling had him
giggling up until they pulled into Charlie's driveway.

If Mulder and Reyes felt shy walking up to the stairs, so did William;
he hid his face against his father's neck, as if anticipating meeting
strangers. It made Mulder feel a little guilty for it because he'd
never pushed for a visit to or from Maggie sooner. She'd seemed
content with photos, so it had been easy to let things slide. His hand
shook a little when he knocked on the door, and he couldn't convince
himself that he was just shivering from the cold.

To his surprise, it wasn't an adult who answered the door, but a young
blond boy. For a moment he couldn't figure out where the child came
from since he was too fair and too old to be William's cousin Matthew,
unless he was going to be a giant, until he remembered a long ago
conversation with Scully- "I baby-sat my nephew this weekend. He
watches "Babe"fifteen times a day." "And people call me 'Spooky'." The
boy looked about nine, which would have made him the right age to be
the movie buff.

The kid didn't seem shy. "So that's my little cousin, huh?" He stepped
closer to Mulder so he could get a better look at William.

"He is if you're Maggie's grandson too." 

"Yup. I'm Garrett. Charlie's my dad. 'course I call him Dad instead
of Charlie." he added with a grin.

"Garrett. That's an unusual name." Reyes blurted out.

"People think so, until they met my sister, Harper." The boy said
sagely.

Mulder and Reyes exchanged a quick look over the kid's head. From the
name choices it was clear that either Charlie or his wife were nuts.

"You must be the guy your aunt Dana said was obsessed with Babe."
Mulder said instead.

The boy squirmed. "That was a long time ago. Come in and I'll tell Dad
and Grandma you're here." With that he scampered off leaving them
standing in the foyer.

Reyes turned to Mulder with a puzzled look. "The baseball player?" 

"What?" 

"Was he obsessed with Babe Ruth?" 

Mulder laughed. "No, the pig." 

"I know of a blue ox named Babe, but not a pig." 

"It's a kid's movie. We have that to look forward to in about two
years." He paused, suddenly conscious of the presumptuousness about
how long they'd be roommates. "Or I will at least."

There was a commotion on the stairs before Reyes replied. Maggie
Scully said something to someone they couldn't see, then appeared on
the landing with a smile. "Fox, Ms Reyes, I'm so glad you could join
us."

"Um, thanks." Mulder mumbled. He'd expected her to swoop in and take
William from him, but she didn't so he glanced around. "Is there a
place I ought to put Will's snowsuit when I get him out of it?"

"Give it to me and I'll put it away." Maggie instructed.

Mulder shrugged, then put William on the floor to unzip him. William
squirmed a little, seeming excited to finally be free of his royal
blue, polycotton blend prison. He laughed loudly enough to grab his
grandmother's attention when Mulder peeled the hat away from his
staticy hair.

"Now that hair is Scully red." Maggie remarked, leaning down to tickle
the baby's belly. "It's hard to believe that this is the only
grandchild who inherited it. At least so far." She added as he handed
her the snow suit.

"Is Bill here?" Mulder asked, craning his neck to look for the most
imposing of the Scullys.

"Not yet. His flight is supposed to arrive in about an hour." She gave
him a sly look. "I heard that he dropped by to meet William the last
time he was in DC."

"It was a memorable visit." 

*

Slow steps on the stairs made Mulder raise his head to see the man
descending them. The first thing Mulder noticed about Charlie was that
he was short. Not unnaturally so, but probably about five foot nine.
Somehow he'd expected him to be just like Bill jr - tall, gruff and
unpleasant. As he exchanged polite greetings with the shorter man, he
decided his presupposition had been silly, since Scully had been very
unlike their sister.

For his part, Charlie seemed a lot friendlier than Bill jr, too: his
face held a welcoming smile. "So I finally get to meet the elusive Fox
Mulder." He said as they shook hands.

"Just Mulder, please." 

"I thought I heard Mom call you Fox." 

Mulder shrugged. "She does." 

That made Charlie laugh. "That's my mother for you. Missy was the same
way."

"Not Scully, though." Mulder said.

"No, not her. She was always a more private person, and gave others
the curtsey as well. I think maybe she was adopted."

Maggie overheard and swatted at her son with the arm not around
William's waist. "Wouldn't that make you adopted too? I remember quite
a few scowls when people commented on how much you and Dana looked
alike."

"No boy ever wants to be told he looks like his sister." Charlie
grumbled good-naturedly.

"I'll tell you, Dear, it didn't gladden her heart either." His mother
confided.

Mulder smiled a little to himself. Charlie really did resemble Scully
more than their other siblings did. And for some reason, looking at
Charlie and seeing that didn't hurt.

"I never had that problem." Reyes spoke up. "Paulo and I don't look at
all alike because I really was adopted."

Paulo? Mulder wondered. Reyes rarely mentioned her family, other than
to occasionally complain about Neva's confusing phone calls. He cast
his roommate a sidelong glance; there really was a lot he didn't know
about her.
"Older brother or younger?" Charlie asked.

"Ten years older. I was still very young when he went to University in
Mexico City, so we aren't exactly close." She gave them a rueful
smile. "He's not very close to our mother either. Paulo could have
gone to visit her for Christmas with ease, but things like that never
occur to him."

Charlie nodded, then turned to Mulder. "Want to come with me to pick
up Bill and his family?" He grinned at Mulder's suddenly stricken
look. "Just kidding."

"Charlie!" Maggie's stern tone had him pretending to be contrite, but
their was still humor in his eyes when Mulder caught his glance again.

"I guess you're the funny Scully." He remarked.

"Someone has to be." 

**

While Charlie was off getting Bill jr, Maggie and Charlie's wife,
Julia, played cordial, if distant hostesses. Julia didn't know either
of them, so he wouldn't have expected much warmth there, but Maggie
seemed distracted, even as she played with her grandson. It made
Mulder feel vaguely anxious, but he tried to push the feeling aside
without letting his paranoia worry about what was wrong. Still he was
expecting a scene when the elder Scully son arrived.

The scene never came. Bill jr greeted Mulder politely, and even seemed
to try to charm Reyes before scooping William up into his large hands.
The baby did not share his father's reservations about his uncle, and
seemed to find Bill amusing, because he kept bestowing three-toothed
grins on him. Mulder grudgingly decided that the other man couldn't be
all bad if he'd captivated William.

It was the other grandchildren, however, that had William wide-eyed in
amazement. His cousin Matthew, who was all dark hair, dark eyes and
energy, seemed the most charmed by him, but the older children
fascinated William. After a few moments Mulder realized that while
William spent time with other children five days a week, none of them
were nearly as old as Harper or Garrett so it must have come as a
surprise to him that people came in their sizes too. The former didn't
materialize from her room until after he father came back, and she
still had a pair of earphones on when Julia coaxed her down stairs.
The girl turned out to be a blonde, eleven-year-old, who looked very
much like her mother.

For all the older two's aloofness, William had all three of them
wrapped around his finger the time the kids were half-way through
opening their presents. Matthew and Garrett made a game of trying to
make him smile the most, and Harper was soon begging to hold him.
Tiring of their adoration, he held his arms out to his father for a
rescue, sighing happily when Mulder hauled him up onto his lap.

Like a true techophile, Harper was the one to finally turn on the TV,
tuning into a spat of sitcom Christmas specials.

"Oh, I love this one." Julia said, smiling as the figures on the
screen suffered holiday mishaps that all the adults in the room
desperately wished would never visit their own lives. "I used to love
sitcoms when I was younger."

Reyes shot Mulder a sly look before asking, "Did you like Facts of
Life?"

At this Julia's eyes rounded in surprise. "That was my favorite in
college! How did you know?" Reyes just shrugged. "My second favorite
back then was this show about a couple quitting their jobs to run a
day care. Day by Day, ever hear of it? Most of the people in it when
on to do big things. One went to Melrose Place, one to Seinfeld, and
the one who played their baby daughter is in that new movie Ghost
World..."

Mulder leaned back into his chair, happy that Reyes had found a Scully
to talk to. He'd been worried that she'd feel out of place, but he'd
forgotten that she was more outgoing than most people he knew. Later
he'd have to ask her what the look she'd given him meant.

"Is he saying anything yet?" Maggie asked a few minutes later. She
reached out a hand to touch William, who was bouncing happily on
Mulder's knee.

"Not quite yet." Mulder admitted. "He's barely seven months though,
and I'm sure it's just a matter of time-"

"Dada." William interrupted.

"Oh, that's sweet." Tara's remark softens Bill jr's scowl into a terse
smile.

"If Dana was alive he might have said Mama first." Bill jr said, but
without malice.

"Maybe." Mulder agreed.

"Can I talk to you, Fox?" Maggie asked, standing with William her
arms.

"Oh, sure." He tried to keep his voice calm, but he could clear see
that strange look on Maggie's face.

She led him into the den and closed the door. "Have you been seeing
anyone?"

His cheeks became flushed, surprised that she'd think he'd be disloyal
to her daughter's memory.

It confused him when she gave him a sad look and said. "I was afraid
of that, not that I blame you for being hesitant to move on."

"Um, what?" 

Maggie rested her chin lightly on the baby's head. "He needs a mother,
Fox. Dana would want him, and you, to have a woman in your lives, so
you shouldn't feel guilty when you find someone who makes you both
happy."

After a moment his brain caught up and he almost laughed. His dead
lover's mother wanted him to find a wife. "I'm sure that your oldest
son doesn't share in your sentiment." He said, thinking about how
upset Bill jr had been when he learned about his roommate.

It surprised him when Maggie shook her head. "Bill can be a little
hot-headed but he has his nephew's best interest at heart. He agrees
that William would be better off with a stable woman's presence in his
life."

"After you bulled him." Mulder's voice was dry.

She didn't deny it. "He can be made to see reason." 

"Great, just as soon as I find a good mommy-figure I'll be sure to let
you both know."

"What do you think about Monica?" Maggie asked after a pregnant pause.
"She seems like a nice girl."

Only someone Maggie's age would consider a thirty-three year old woman
"a nice girl"but he didn't make an issue of it. "We're friends,
Maggie."

"Just friends?" 

It was too complicated to elaborate on. "Yes." 

Maggie reached over and patted his hand. "A lot of marriages begin as
friendships."

"Maggie, I - it's only been seven months and...." He trailed off at a
loss for words as the idea buzzed uncomfortably in his head.

"It's just something to think about." Maggie said lightly. "For now
just promise me that you won't let how you felt about Dana let you
close you heart off to everyone else for the rest of your life."

What else could he do with her looking at him like that? "Okay. I
promise."

"Good. Let's join everyone for eggnog now." 

Just like that she'd let the conversation drop, as if she'd never
brought up the subject. Mulder kept expecting one of the other adults
to bring it up during dinner, particularly Tara or Julia, but if any
of them knew about what Maggie discussed with him, they kept the
knowledge to themselves.

Just before dark the Scullys waved from the door way as their boots
crunched across the snowy yard. At least the skies were calm, and not
threatening to add to the snow pack they didn't yet have in DC.

**

The plan had been to tough it out and drive back to DC after dinner,
but around eleven they'd had enough driving. William was clearly sick
of being trapped in his car seat, and the two of them were hanging
onto wakefulness by a thread. Following a brief, nearly monosyllabic
conversation, Reyes pulled into the first motel they could find.

Stumbling sleepily to the front desk, they were not terribly surprised
that their ersatz inn-keeper claimed there was almost no room at the
inn. If there own vehicle fatigue was any indication, they wouldn't
have been surprised if every hotel and motel in the country was
filled.

"So, you want the room?" The impatient look on the desk clerk's face
suggested that speaking to them was keeping him from something a lot
more interesting. Maybe they were.

"Two beds?" Mulder thought about going back out to the car and driving
for who knew how much longer to locate a place with more rooms.

"Yeah. I can bring in a crib for the kid too." 

Mulder gratefully surrendered his credit card to his new hero.

There wasn't a lot of awkwardness when they got ready for bed; they
just turned their backs and undressed, not overly concerned that
either would glimpse something more than they already had at home.
William didn't wake up when Mulder undressed him and put him in the
crib that had been wheeled in for him.

Once the lights were out Mulder stared at Reyes, who was also lying on
her side. "Maggie likes you, you know."

"Does she?" She asked before smothering a yawn. "That's nice." 

"No, I mean she really likes you." 

"Are you trying to tell me that Dana's mother is gay? I know that
after being widowed some women experiment-" Reyes tone made it clear
that she was teasing him for his word choice.

"Not like that!" Mulder laughed for the first time all day. "She said
you were a 'nice girl' and asked me if I'd thought about the fact that
William needs a mother."

"Mulder, I..." Even in the dark he could see the helpless movement of
her hands as she spoke.

"Exactly. I told her it's too soon for me to think about other women,
and she dropped it."

"I'm glad she didn't pressure you to continue the conversation." 

"Me too. Having Maggie suggest I find a mother for her grandson is too
weird."

"It would be for anyone." 

"Yeah." 

He tried to sleep after that, unused to the sounds of both William's
and Reyes' sleeping breath in the room. A frown creased his face as he
fell asleep imagining introducing Reyes to someone as "Monica, my
wife."

**

December 27th, 2001 
6:30am

Spooning cereal into William's reluctant mouth posed more of a
challenge than Mulder wanted at that time of the morning. Reyes came
in and made them both coffee. He flashed her a grateful look as he
took his mug.

"That was some visit, huh? It was exhausting. No wonder we slept most
of the day yesterday."

"Sixteen hours in a car will do that to almost anyone." She said, then
yawned.

"I've been thinking about what Maggie said." Reyes became very still
but he didn't look up to notice. "I'm pretty sure it's guilt. Deep
down she must be feeling guilty that she moved in with Charlie, so far
away from William. I don't mind, but I'm sure she thinks she ought to
help, be involved in his life...She might not even realize what
motivated by."

"Yeah, that's probably it." She agreed.

"So I'm not going to obsess over the suggestion." 

"Good idea. You can't force yourself to begin feeling something just
because someone thinks you should."

He grinned at her. "Did I ever tell you that you're a smart woman?" 

"No, but I know I am. I knew immediately that I was going to room with
the world's greatest guy, and I was right. And you're not too bad a
roommate, either." She added.

Mulder smirked at her and whispered to William that he'd been
insulted. Rather than show his father any sympathy, William grabbed
his nose hard enough to make Mulder wince.

**

9am

Skinner called them to his office, but instead of an assignment, he
gave them an unusually friendly message from the powers that be.
"There's going to be a New Years Eve party at the Marriott. All agents
are invited, and there's an open bar. Attendance is of course
voluntary."

Skinner's announcement was met with mixed reactions. Doggett and Reyes
were enthusiastic but Mulder responded with just a shrug, and Kimberly
was even less receptive to the idea.

"I'm sorry, I have other plans. It's not that I wouldn't enjoy
spending time with you all socially-"

"But there are people you'd rather spend New Years Eve with." Skinner
said evenly.

Kimberly blushed and nodded.

"I'm afraid I won't be going, either." Mulder said. "I'm probably
going to be better company for William than for adults."

"Maybe next year." Skinner said before turning to the others. "Looks
like the three of will be representing this office."

Perhaps he'd meant this statement in a friendly way, but it had an air
of command about it, so they both were quick to agree.

"This will be fun." Doggett remarked as they left the office.

"It might be." Reyes agreed. "It depends on how many people get
sloppily drunk and make fools of themselves."

"I always thought that was the best part." Mulder remarked. 

"You would think so." Doggett said. "I was expecting him to want us
for something else, though. A new case."

"Oh no." Mulder said with a shake of his head. "The week between
Christmas and New Years is usually pretty dead. I guess even the
things that go bump in the night need some time off to rest and see
family."

"Doesn't that just warm the cockles of our hearts." Reyes smirked at
him.

"Well, it does mine, but do you even have cockles?" 

"I think they're like gonads, Mulder, we all have them." Doggett
explained.

"Ah, I see." 

Both men feigned bewilderedness when she rolled her eyes and beat them
to the office. Their moment of mutual satisfaction dissolved when they
simultaneously realized that she'd get first pick of which case to
write up.

**

New Years Eve 2002

7:45pm

Hangers clicked dully as Reyes frantically pushed them around, looking
for the right outfit. There were more clothes in there than she had
thought, but it was difficult finding something she could bear the
thought of wearing. It made her wish that she'd gone out and bought
something after all.

In short, she felt sixteen years old.

The source of her nerves was a throwaway comment made by Doggett late
Friday afternoon: "There's no point in taking two cars. I'll swing by
and pick you up at eight." '

She *knew* that there was no deep meaning to his suggestion, but just
knowing didn't slow her heart-rate to a saner pace.

Her fingers brushed against something silky, and she pulled out a soft
black dress she didn't remember packing when she moved to DC. The
bodice clung in the right places, in contrast to the looseness of the
skirt that would flow if she chose to twirl around. In short, it was
the perfect choice. Or so she hoped.

After she put it on she wandered out into the living room to see what
Mulder thought of it, knowing full well that if he said anything
negative, she didn't have something else in mind instead. It'd be back
to the closet for another round of "what the hell am I going to wear?"
which she didn't really have time for.

Fortunately, Mulder said the exact right thing to put her mind at ease
about her choice. "Planning to break some hearts tonight, I take it."

"Well, maybe one." Reyes said happily. "What about you? All you'd have
to do is show up and you'd break a few, at least that's what whispers
say."

"Too late for a sitter." Mulder shrugged. "And like I told the guys,
I'm looking forward to a quiet night. Maybe the kid and I will watch
Rudolph's Shiny New Years or something."

"Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure. Go on, go have some fun for the both of us. I'll expect a
full report on who makes a fool of themselves."

A knock at the door interrupted her train of thought. "Okay, have a
good night then."

"We will." 

**

10pm

"You know," Mulder said to his son in a conversational tone. "New
Years eve was the first time I ever kissed your mom. Not last New
Years, but two years ago. Last New Years I was with some horrible
aliens and they were not nearly as good company as your mother. And
when I say first time I kissed her, I mean the first time I kissed her
on the lips. It's not that those kisses on the forehead or cheek
weren't nice...You know, I should have kissed her on the neck because
I once read that means "I want you"and I did... but there's something
about kissing someone on the mouth that means more. I know that the
bard compared lips to two blushing pilgrims, but that misses the
point, and glosses over the intimacy of the act."

Lying on the floor, William crinkled his eyes and laughed to himself.

"You think that's funny, do you? I'll tell one thing, Kid: when you
find 'the one,' don't waste seven years before you kiss her. When I
think of how long I waited, scared to death that she'd reject me, I
almost cry. Don't make the same mistake." Mulder said with a yawn.
"That's one I'm going to regret for the rest of my life."

"Dada." William pursed his lips and gave Mulder a sad look because his
father had gone silent with a far-away look in his eyes. He'd already
learned that using the magic word would return attention to where it
belonged - on himself.

Mulder blinked and looked down at his son. "You know, the rest of the
night I first kissed your mom was pretty exciting too. Do you know
what a zombie is? It's a reanimated dead person who shuffles around, a
lot like the drunks at the party Daddy is missing. Anyway, Mom, a guy
named Frank Black and I got caught up in this case about zombies that
were coming back at New Years. I guess they thought they were missing
something..."


**

11:53pm

It was probably unworthy of her, but Reyes was impatient all night for
Skinner to go hang around someone else. It wasn't that she disliked
his company, she just wish that she could have Doggett's full
attention, for just a while. Then, while Doggett was at the bar, it
happened.

"I'll be back in a while, Agent Reyes. It's too stuffy in here." 

Doggett grinned broadly as he brought the new pitcher to the table,
then he looked puzzled. "Where's the Skinman?"

Reyes hid a cringe: Skinner would kill him if he heard that. "He
stepped out for some air. The cigarette smoke was getting to him."

"Oh well, more for us, Mon." 

She smiled at him and wondered if he was drunk enough to get a
straight answer from. There was a twinge of guilt, but she drown it
with her next drink.

"John, have you ever thought about us?" 

"Us?" The look on his face suggested that he had forgotten what the
word meant.

She felt curiously unafraid to elaborate. "Us. You and I, maybe in a
relationship."

To her surprise he slung an arm around her neck. "You 'n me are
friends, Mon." He grinned at her again. "That's our relationship."

She shrugged off his arm. "Do you ever think of us being more than
friends?"

Doggett shook his head happily. "Nope." 

"No?" She asked, feeling rather curiously numb.

"Nope. We don't have that spark. Whadya call it? Chemistry." 

"You mean you don't find me sexually attractive." 

"I'd do ya. I just wouldn't marry ya." He giggled, then suddenly
looked as serious as one can whilst intoxicated. "And that's the
problem. Mon, you're the marrying type. You know ya are. And me? I've
only ever wanted one woman enough to stay with her. I must be a
goose."

A goose?" She asked blankly. For the life of her she couldn't figure
out where oversized water fowl fit into her devastation.

"They mate for life." He explained, apparently oblivious to her
dismay.

Reyes gave him a sickly smile, but she was thinking that maybe she was
the goose. Although fool was probably a more appropriate descriptor
than silly in regards to her persistent adolescent crush.

"Didn't work out with Barb, so I'm gonna be single for the rest of my
life. 's okay, though, I like not bein under a woman's thumb. Gotta
wonder about those guys with five wives-"

"But don't you get lonely?" A plaintive note crept into her voice.

"Nope." He said cheerfully. "I like being alone." 

"I don't." 

"That's why you gotta marry a nice guy." His eyes lit up. "What do you
think of that Byers guy? He's a little odd to hang out with those two
scruffy weirdos, but he seems like a nice guy. Real polite, well
groomed. I bet moms like him."

"I barely know him." She protested.

"That's no problem. Like arranged marriages, remember those? I learned
about them in school or something. They don't sound so bad." He
blinked owlishly. "Or you could get Mulder to invite him over or
somethin'. Maybe I should tell Mulder on Monday."

"Nah, I'll tell him myself." 

"Yeah, okay, you do that. You know, my sister Liz used to say that she
wouldn't have minded an arranged marriage, since it was easier than
dating."

"Uh huh..."Reyes willed Skinner to return, and if by magic she spotted
him walking through the smoky room. "Hey, um, I think I'm going to
call it a night."

"White knight on a horse." Doggett muttered.

"So early?" Skinner sounded surprised. "You'll miss the countdown." 

"Yeah, that's okay. I'll see you both later." She paused, looking at
Skinner. "Make sure he gets home alright, okay?"

The smoke followed her out the door and the wind plucked at her skirt
as she ran to the side of the road to hail a cab. Faintly, she heard
the people still in the bar begin to count down to midnight. A cab
pulled up to the curb just as she was wishing that there were someone
she could kiss to ring in the New Year.

**

During the cab ride home Reyes made a silent vow to god that she was
through pining for John Doggett, if only God would help her get on
with life. After her silent plea for divine assistance, she thought
about her brother. It had been God that had come between Nieva and
Paulo, and their mother had turned a cold shoulder to him when he'd
declared himself agnostic; she'd made him feel so unwelcome that he
rarely visited. Given that Reyes had only been ten when her brother
revealed his beliefs, his banishment had stunted the relationship
between the two siblings. By the time she was old enough to make her
choices own choices about who to see when, the damage had already been
done. Every time they saw each other there was an awkwardness that
neither could ignore or seem to overcome.

Thinking about her mother's unyielding devotion made her wonder how
many other families had been splintered in the name of God.

She also wondered if leaving something to god meant it was destined to
fail given the weakness of her own belief. The thought made her
shiver, not the cold.

*

Reyes was still thinking about Doggett and religion as she put her key
in the lock. Confession was supposed to be good for the soul, and
maybe that would be the thing to keep her from weakening. If she told
Mulder about her folly, she'd feel ashamed if she backslid, and there
was a lot more for shame as a motivator than most people were willing
to admit.

Mulder's my friend, she thought as she swung the door open, maybe the
best one I've got in this city. If anyone would understand what it's
like to want for something, someone, you can't have, it's him, given
that he's still hung up on Dana. I'm going to do this, I'll just tell
him everything -

But as she opened her mouth to complain, she noticed that his mouth
already was. A soft, stuffy nosed, snore poured out of him as he lay
on his back on the couch. His right arm was flung out over the edge,
and his hand rested on William's foot. The baby was sound asleep too.

"Happy New Years, guys." Reyes whispered.

She paused for a moment, contemplating putting the baby in his crib,
but decided against it. He seemed comfortable enough, and she knew
that Mulder would panic if he woke up alone in the living room.

Reyes sighed as she entered her room. She'd have to be strong on her
own. For now.

**

January 2002

After New Years, Mulder began to sense a shift between his partners.
Although not exactly cold towards Doggett, Reyes definitely wasn't as
warm as usual. It made him wonder if he'd missed something interesting
during the New Years Eve party.

Impulsively, he decided to broach the subject while they washed there
hands in the men's room. "So, did I miss anything important happen at
the party?"

"I don't know." Doggett shrugged. "Let's just say I remember when I
started drinking, but not when I finish."

"Shame, shame." 

"I think I must have said something to tick Monica off." Doggett
confessed.

"Probably." 

"Has she said anything?" 

"Nope." 

"You're no help." Doggett complained.

"Maybe you should just apologize and get it over with." Mulder
suggested.

"What? Without knowing what I did?" 

"You were married, Doggett. I bet you don't know half of the things
you've apologized for."

"That's different." 

Mulder shrugged. "I'll tell you one thing, though. If anyone knows
what you did, it's Kimberly."

"What makes you say that?" 

"Reyes and Kimberly eat lunch together whenever we spend the day in
the building."

"So?" 

Mulder gave him a disgusted look. "You know even less about women than
I do, which isn't much."

"Thanks for the sage assessment." Doggett said sourly.

"Glad I could be of service. Now what do you think of the case we were
given this morning?"

**

January 19th, 2002
7pm

"Mulder?" Reyes poked her head into Mulder's room. "You asked me to
let you know when it was seven."

"Oh right." Mulder closed some sort of book and put it in a desk
drawer. "I know that the other two don't care about punctuality, but
it bothers Byers. He's just too polite to make an issue of it."

Thinking of Doggett's drunken advice, she had to fight to keep her
expression neural at the mention of the nattiest of the gunmen. "Are
you sure you want to bring the baby over there?"

"He'll be safe in his travel playpen." 

She was thinking more of the guys being a bad influence, but didn't
say anything.

"We should be home by ten." Mulder told her.

"Have a good time." 

Reyes watched TV but once Mulder had been gone a while, she found
herself standing outside his bedroom door, contemplating doing
something she hadn't been tempted to do before: invade her roommate's
privacy. Her curiosity got the best of her, and she found herself
opening his desk drawer to see what the book he'd had put away.

She'd expected to find a journal, which she swore to herself that she
wouldn't open. Instead she found a baby book.

Flipping it open, she found a careful record of William Mulder's time
on Earth. A tiny hospital bracelet was affixed to the very first page.
After that photos, perfectly centered, showed a progression from tiny
reddish infant (she remembered him saying that he'd taken William's
first pictures shortly after the funeral ) to his current, smiley self
showing off new teeth. The other pages were written on in a
surprisingly neat script, each milestone duly dated.

Looking at the writing without really reading it, she wondered why
some of the entries were in pen, and others in pencil. When she picked
the book up to tilt it into the light to read it, she knew.

The entries in pen said various things like "7/12/01 - William's first
smile (NOT gas)"and "10/25/01 - William sat unassisted for the first
time." "11/27/01 - watched a Dana Carey movie today. Got to remember
that actor when William complains that his middle name is girly."

The others all were the same day of the month: the twentieth. They all
said exactly the same thing except for the number in the entry.
"6/20/01 one month without Scully,"  "12/20/01 seven months without
Scully."

It wasn't until she figured out why those entries were in pencil that
tears welled in her eyes. Mulder wrote nearly everything in pen, his
case notes, memos to his partners... the sole exception was the
grocery lists. She'd asked him about it out of idle curiosity once,
and he'd laughed, saying that he might change his mind about what he
wanted to eat before he got to the store.

At some point he intended to erase the lines written in pencil. Maybe
he thought his son would want to see it one day, or maybe Mrs. Scully
would.

It was the nineteenth. Would he add an entry the next day? She rubbed
her eye with a fist before closing the book. With luck Mulder would
never know that she'd touched it.

**

February 2nd, 2002

"Suppose we'll have six more weeks of winter?" Reyes asked cheerfully
as they drove towards the mall. Both she and Mulder had things to buy,
so they decided to carpool to save the gas.

"At this rate it seems like we'll have six more months of winter."
Mulder replied grumpily. He'd spent nearly fifteen minutes scraping
ice off the windshield, and had declined Reyes assistance, thinking
that it was more important that William have company in the car. As
noble an aim as that might have been, it was the cause of the ache in
his shoulder that made him wince a little each time he needed to turn
the steering wheel for a right turn.

"If it's still snowing in August, we'll really have an X-File on our
hands."

"Yeah. And think of the money we'd save trying to keep beer cold at
the 4th of July."

"See? There's a bright side to everything." The smug look she affected
made Mulder grin.

"Be careful. Your optimism is unfamiliar and is scaring me." 

"Ha." 

"Hey, were you planning to try on clothes or anything?" 

"No, why, did you want someone to escort you to Victoria' Secrets?"
Reyes asked mischievously. "So no one would think you're a perv."

"I am one, and I would investigate her secret, but I don't think they
carry anything in my size. Actually, I was asking because I was hoping
you weren't. Every time I bring William into an electronics store
lately, I end up spending half the time there trying to grab things
out of mid-air before they hit the floor."

"Sure, I can bring him with me." 

"Thank you." Mulder said gratefully. "I don't think I can afford his
attraction to shiny objects."

Reyes turned in her seat to look at William. "You're going to put your
daddy in the poor house, yes you are."

William just laughed.

**

Bored of watching Reyes look at books, William decided to get her
attention. "Moni." He held out his arms to her, begging to be taken
out of the stroller. "Moni!" She smiled at him and put the book back
onto the shelf.

"Aww, that's sweet." An elderly voice remarked over Reyes' shoulder as
Reyes unstrapped him and picked him up. "He's trying to say Mommy."

Reyes glanced back at the woman. "Actually, he's trying to say my
name. Monica."

The woman looked taken aback. "I wouldn't let my children use my first
name." She said with a slight sniff. "It's disrespectful."

"I think it's disrespectful to call one's parents by their first names
too, but he's not my child, so it isn't a problem."

"Oh... your stepson?" 

"No, he's my roommate's son. I don't mind helping him with looking
after this little fellow while we're shopping."

Reyes could tell that the woman was gearing up for another
mini-lecture, probably about the evils of men and women living
together. "C'mon kiddo, let's see where your daddy has gotten to." She
made as quick a getaway as was possible to while dragging an empty
stroller with one hand.

Reyes did not look happy when she found him. "Uh oh, was he causing
trouble?" Mulder asked, putting down the DVD player he'd been
contemplating.

"No, he's as good as gold. Too bad the same can't be said for some
nosy old women."

"I wish we lived some place where it was considered abnormal to talk
to strangers." Mulder said. William didn't protest when Mulder picked
him up and put him back in the stroller.

"I don't think such a place exists if you have a child with you." 

"Guess it's just another one of my fantasies, then." 

"I wouldn't have guessed you had many that didn't involve kicking
alien butt." Reyes remarked.

Mulder choked on a laugh. "I have those too." 

"C'mon, Mulder, we've got a lot more shopping to do and a lot more old
ladies to scandalize." Reyes told him.

Both of them dove for William when they realized he'd managed to grab
a digital camera off a display while they were talking.

**

February 14th, 2002

"I'm not interested in celebrating Valentines' either." 

"You're not?" 

"Nope. Short of picking someone up in a bar, there's little chance
I'll be spending the night with someone special. And don't say 'that's
not safe' I was joking."

"I know. Let's be anti-celebratory, then." 

"How?" 

"Wear all black, look away if someone says 'happy Valentines Day',
rent really unromantic movies."

"Like ?" 

"Sure." 

"Good plan." 

The conversation that Mulder had with Reyes ran through his mind as he
carried William out of the Hoover building. It was beginning to snow
lightly, and his son squinted up at the snowflakes with a little
frown.

"Cold, huh, Bub? It doesn't look like you are enjoying the snowy
weather." He slowed his stride enough to dig a blanket out of
William's bag and used it to cover the child's head. "Now you look
like an Eskimo." He glanced over his shoulder. "Or should I say
Inuit?"

Peering out from under the blanket, William only say "Dada." 

"I know, you're telling me that we've wasted too much time out here
and ought to be headed home. Just one quick stop and we'll meet Reyes
at home. You don't care, but I'm happy she's picking up some takeout.
Maybe if we'll share our rolls with you."

"Moni?" William asked as Mulder stopped in front of his car.

"Yup. I'm not going to get you to say 'Reyes' am I." 

A grin was all he got in response as he buckled William into his car
seat. " Gotta scrape the windows. Leave your hat on."

As he scraped at the thick frost that had formed during the work day,
he peered up at the sky himself. There hadn't been any snow in the
forecast that he recalled, but his opinion of weather forecasters
wasn't a high one to begin with, so he wouldn't have been surprised if
they'd blown another one. The only meteorologist he'd ever known to be
able to make predictions worth a damn was Holman Hardt and that was
probably because he was also creating the weather. Just as he was
about to open the driver's side door he saw a small blue object go
flying across the back seat. William really hated his hat.

Which is why he whined when Mulder retrieved it and put it back on his
head, this time tying the strings under his chin. "Sorry, Bub, it's
too cold and you have too little hair not to wear it. Look at that
pout! I'm going to have to harden my heart before you can form
complete sentences."

The drive to the video store is punctuated by the occasional
frustrated squeal as William is defeated by the knot and the crunch of
snow beneath the tires. Neither the roads nor the parking lot have
been plowed, and Mulder thought that the sky looked even grayer, and
the clouds more pregnant.

"This will be a real quick stop." He muttered, more to himself than to
his son.

They exited the store ten minutes later - it would have been seven had
William not tried on three occasions to help with the movie selection
by grabbing tapes and dropping them to the floor - with three video
tapes in a plastic bag. Another minute had been wasted as Mulder
stared longly at the store's small DVD selection and wished that he'd
bought a DVD player for himself a few days ago like he'd considered.
By the time they got outside, the snow had picked up its pace by a
considerable amount.

"Gotta love these unexpected storms." He said personably to someone
heading in. The other man had nodded in grim agreement.

Other drivers seemed to catch onto the fact that the roads weren't in
great shape, and they slowed to a crawl. It probably was preventing
accidents, but it didn't have a positive effect on Mulder's nerves.
His anxiety slowly built as the minutes ticked away without getting
too much closer to his destination. The three cars off the side of the
road that they passed did nothing to help.

Even though he was going at a mere crawl, his tires still found a
patch of black ice as he was braking for a red light. Since he was
already stepping on the brake, there was little he could do when the
wheels locked and the car began a slow-motion lurch towards the side
of the road - which was flanked by a steep embankment. No matter how
much he fought to regain control, the car seemed dead set to hurtle
itself over the edge.

For one fleeting moment he pictured what was going to happen next: the
car was going to fly over the edge, and William would scream, if they
didn't hit a tree. If he wasn't injured too badly, he'd have to
extract them both from the car, and he'd be fighting a battle to get
the car seat to relinquish the baby if they ended up at an unnatural
angle. He'd climb up the hit with his traumatized child, and hope that
he could flag someone down before it got dark, before hypothermia set
in -

At the last second the car responded to the wheel and gave a leftward
lurch that Mulder had to pull under control before they overshot and
headed into the other lane. As soon as the car was under control
again, he glanced in the review mirror to check on William. If he'd
been frightened, he no longer was, but instead bestowed a wide smile
on Mulder when he caught sight of his reflection.

"That was close, Will." Mulder said aloud in a shaky voice. "Good
thing we're almost home."

They arrived home a few minutes later without further incident. Reyes
met them at the door, and took the videos from her roommate's hand.
"Are you okay, Mulder? You look really pale."

"It was a rough ride home, and I had a scare about three miles from
home. We nearly slid off the road."

She made a sympathetic sound. "I'm glad you are okay." 

"Thanks." 

"I was going to suggest beers for our movie watching, but I think
you'd be better off with hot cocoa. Want me to make some?"

"That would be wonderful." Mulder said gratefully. They were home
safe, but he couldn't seem to stop shivering. He'd never been that
upset about a bad weather driving experience, but then, he'd never
been transporting his son when one came up before, either.

The sound of a whistling teakettle filled the air by the time he'd
gotten William changed out of his snowsuit and rediapered. William was
bouncing in his playpen when Reyes came back to the living room with
two steaming mugs. "Aren't you glad we don't live further north, when
they get storms like this all winter?"

Sipping his cocoa, Mulder couldn't even think of words to express just
how glad he was of that. Living in New England or on one of the Great
Lakes would probably cause him to die of a heart attack before William
was old enough to start school.

"There's something to be said about living in DC." He finally agreed
after he drained his mug.

To his utter surprise, Reyes kissed him and then William on their
cheeks. "I'm glad you guys are okay."

She took their mugs to wash out in the sink, and didn't seem to notice
his stunned look. By the time she returned he'd composed himself. It
had just been so long since he'd been around anyone who bestowed
casual affection that he no longer remembered the appropriate
responses to it. Deep, meaningful affection between two people in love
he remembered, but not simple kindness between good friends. It made
him dimly aware of how much he'd isolated himself for as long as he
could remember.

**

March 10th, 2002

"What a cutie." A flight attendant stared down at William, who turned
on the charm and bestowed a big smile upon her. "What's his name?"

"Austin." Mulder lied smoothly.

"Oh, I like that. Is this his first flight?" 

"I'm afraid not." Mulder made a sad face. "Katie and I broke up a
month after he was born, so the little guy has already clocked a lot
of airtime."

"I'm sorry to hear that, um..." 

"Travis." Mulder helpfully supplied.

The flight attendant grinned. "If you or Austin need anything, let me
know."

"Thank you." 

Leaning over Mulder, she addresses Doggett, who gives no sign of being
familiar with either passenger sharing his row. "And you, sir? Is
there anything I can bring you?"

Doggett shakes his head. "I'm all set, thanks." He picks up a novel
off of his lap and begins to read it, giving all appearance that he's
intent on ignoring his fellow passengers.

Mulder leaned back in his seat, and stared at the seat in front of
him. It's difficult not to speak to Doggett, but they are studiously
trying to give the impression that they're strangers. The gentle
movement of the plane soon had William asleep, leaving Mulder free to
rehash the events that had lead up to this sudden flight to
Brightwater, Georgia.

**

Two days earlier
March 8th, 2002
8am

Skinner didn't knock when he entered the office. What bothered Mulder
however, was the grim set of his boss' mouth. So it was only with
trepidation that he accepted the folder that Skinner held out to him.

"You need to know about this." 

"An X-file, sir?" 

"I don't know, maybe. It's definitely of personal interest. Just read
it."

He expected Skinner to leave then, but he stood there with arms
crossed, seeming determined to make sure that Mulder read it. Inside
the folder were two printouts of newspaper articles. Both were dated
that morning, and both were reports of infants being abducted the day
before.

"Sir?" Mulder looked up confused.

"Even you don't read that fast, Mulder." The older man sighed. "Read
the last paragraph of each story."

The air seemed to be sucked out of the room as he did so. The names
were different, but other than that they were almost word for word
identical. "...Mother was also a victim of abduction... the father was
also a kidnapping victim...discovered last winter, unharmed, by FBI
agents in an abandon farm house in Helena, Montana...discovered
uninjured by FBI investigating a compound in Helena,
Montana...three-month-old kidnapping victim...two-month-old kidnapping
victim..."

His eyes flew across the pages, and the only thing he drew comfort
from was the fact that neither baby belonged to Teresa Hoese. Although
he didn't dislike the woman, he wasn't sure if he could deal with yet
another case dealing with her abductions.

Mulder slowly looked up at Skinner. "These are people who were
returned when I was."

"I know." 

"But their babies were born after their abductions." 

"So was William." Skinner pointed out.

"But he was conceived before I was taken." Mulder protested.

"I hope that makes a difference." 

**

The next twenty-four hours brought two things: an unearthed statement
about a prophecy, and a dream.

Oddly enough, it was one agent's insomnia that lead to the very first
clue. Agent Amanda Rex, who was supposed to be sleeping before she
brought her sixth-grader to a fieldtrip, got up in the wee hours and
put on the radio. None of the songs caught her interest, so she tuned
into a radio program known for bringing the crazies out of the
woodwork - Coast To Coast with Art Bell. Although agent Rex herself
thought that everything on the program was complete bunk, she did like
it in a lurid, smug manner, and occasionally listened to the
conversation.

That morning she had her tea and was only half-listening until one of
the callers started excitedly ranting about how two recently acquired
super-children were going to bring about the fulfillment of a prophecy
that said that aliens would come to earth and lead hapless humanity to
a new paradise. Rex snorted to herself and almost turned the program
off when the host got the nut to explain how the group had gotten a
hold of the children. As soon as the caller explained, Rex realized
that it sounded a lot like the kidnapping case she'd heard being
discussed by one of the ADs secretaries the afternoon before. She
wasted no time calling her own AD, who immediately passed the
information along to people who could demand a copy of the radio
transcript and tape.
 
The transcript fell into the hands of FBI agents monitoring a
suspected alien cultist group, and they found a message board activity
that confirmed the fact that children fitting the profile for a
"miracle child" had been collected and brought to Canada.

Digging deeper, they were able to discover the exact nature of the
prophecy being discussed. A faux book of the bible, Ephesians,
possibly named for the canonized lunatic Vernon Ephesian, foretold the
birth of a special child, one who would lead the alien colonists when
they arrived.

All of this occurred before Mulder got into the office, so he was
surprised when Skinner, no less grim than the day before, handed him
sheet of paper.

The text of the prophecy stated: "Behold, a whirlwind came out of the
north and a brightness was about it. And out of the midst came the
likeness of four living creatures. And they had the likeness of a man.
Knowst they were not men, yet for all appearances had the seemness of
them.
 
A child, born of one who knowst the four well, shall lead them and
bring about a new age for men. The father, upon return from a long
journey with the four, begat this child.

We await the day this child takes up scepter and robe, and leads us
all to days of milk and honey. Raise this child amongst the wise, the
faithful, least the child's truth path be diverted by thorns alongst
the way."

"'Alongst?'"Mulder smirked. "This was clearly written by someone whose
idea of sounding biblical is to merely as 'st' to words that don't
ever get that ending."

"I thought you would be more concerned." Skinner replied darkly.

"Did you? Actually, I'm slightly less concerned now. At first I
thought that someone had nabbed the kids to experiment on them, but
this makes it seem as though the kidnappers have something less
harmful in mind. Not that kidnapping isn't a scaring event in a
child's life, but at least when we find them - and we will find them -
they're both going to be all in one piece."

"What about William, Mulder?" 

"I'm not sure what you mean." Mulder said blankly. "Did you mean to
assign us the case? I suppose the gunmen can keep him for a few days
if Reyes and I are both going to be out of the country-"

"Are you being deliberately obtuse?" Skinner snapped. "I'm asking
about your concern for your child's safety, not your babysitting
plans."

"There's nothing that leads me to believe that William is in any
danger." Mulder insisted. "Now, are we on the case or not?"

"Not. The team investigating the cult will be looking for the missing
children." Skinner shook his head. "Your lack of concern concerns me,
Mulder."

"I am concerned, sir. But I don't think anything about the situation
points at a threat to William."

"For your sake, I hope that doesn't change." Skinner said over his
shoulder as he walked away.

**

That evening

"Here, Will, you keep this." William grinned at Reyes, showing all his
teeth, then waited for her to straighten up before very deliberately
heaving the stuffed bear she's just handed him over the side of the
playpen. "Hey!"

Mulder snorted. "You must know this game." 

"Game?" 

"I thought you said you had a lot of experience with babies." Mulder
smirked. "You didn't lie when you told me that, did you?"

"I do. Just not babies this age." 

"Ah. Well, I remember this game from when Samantha played it when I
was in kindergarten. It's called 'give me, then go fetch'. Most babies
figure it out around this age from what I've been reading. I think
it's what gave people the idea that they could train dogs."

"What?" 

"Well look, William's already good at training you, so why not a dog
in a few years?"

"Funny." 

He put down his book. "In a grandfatherly-like show of concern,
Skinner made it clear that he thinks that I'm being rash not to
suppose that there's some boogyman lurking, ready to snatch William
away. Am I being rash?"

"I don't think so. Sure, there's a connection there between William
and those poor babies - they're all children of abductees. But so are
a lot of children. If the kids who had been kidnapped both had red
hair, do you think Skinner would be upset if you didn't immediately
become concerned that William was next?"

"I think there are a few more babies with red hair than babies whose
parents have been abducted by aliens."

"Okay, say it was the children of FBI agents, then. I'm just saying
that it's not irresponsible to not worry about a singular link that a
lot of people might share."

"Yeah. But for William's sake, I hope we're right." 

"If we're not, we'll deal with it." 

The statement was cheerful enough, and full of conviction, but for
some reason it didn't make Mulder feel much better about the
situation.

**

Hours later, Mulder tossed and turned in his bed. It wouldn't be
accurate to say that he dreamed, because the pictures in his head were
too horrific for that. Even in his sleep he moaned.

They had William. Someone had broken into Scully's apartment, beat up
Maggie, and tried to kill William for it. So Scully had shot him. Her
son still wasn't safe, so she had brought him to the gunmen, and asked
them to hide him. They had agreed, but someone had followed them.
Taken the baby by gunpoint. Took him away. Nearly killed Doggett.

And when Mulder woke up, he realized that it was all his fault. At
least that was the conviction his sleep-fogged mind crowed as he came
to. He'd gone away, left them alone, and bad men had taken his son
because he didn't have a father to protect him.

Of course, once he was fully awake, he realized that it wasn't true.
Scully was the one who'd gone away, and he was the one there. William
had him, not Scully. Mulder wasn't sure if the baby had made out worse
in his dreams or in reality. He certainly wasn't a fortunate baby,
since a lucky baby would have had them both.

But you couldn't tell that by looking at William, he thought when he
stumbled into the nursery and looked down at his sleeping child. He
looked happy enough. Maybe he was just too young to know what he was
deprived of, Mulder thought as he picked him up without waking him.
He'd learn soon enough - other children would teach him that he was
different.

**

Hoover Building

After an hour or so of quiet despair, Mulder couldn't take it any
more. "We need to talk to Skinner." He declared. "But not here."
Despite not telling them what he meant, Doggett and Reyes exchanged a
knowing look, which made him wonder if he was becoming transparent in
his old age.

If the AD was surprised that his agents requested that the four of
them go get coffee at the café across the street, he hid it well. His
face was blank as he slid across the booth's seat to sit next to
Reyes. "I assume that this is about the baby."

Mulder nodded. "I had a bad dream." 

Skinner nodded, and didn't ask him to elaborate. "So what's the plan?"


"I'm not sure." Mulder confessed. "I know I need to get him some place
safe, but-"

"Maybe the gunmen-" Reyes began, but he cut her off.

"No. I don't want to involve them." He thought about sharing the
details of his dream, but decided that it wasn't prudent. "I love the
guys, but it wouldn't take a genius to realize that they're who I'd go
to in a pinch. It has to be someone that doesn't have much of a
connection to me. That leaves the Scullys out too."

"I'd suggest bringing him to my mom, but that would require getting
him a passport..."Reyes frown.

"I know what to do." Doggett declared with a snap of his fingers. 

"What?" 

"We'll send him to my sister. No one would think of looking for him
in-"

Mulder held a finger up to his lips, looking around warily for people
who might be listening. "I know which state. Where in the state?"
Mulder asked guardedly.

"Not where I was born." 

He relaxed a little. At least it wasn't Democrat Hot Springs. "You
really think your sister would be willing to take in a nine-month-old
for an indeterminate amount of time?"

Doggett nodded. "Kelly would do it. She's got a soft heart." 

"If she'd do it, it sounds like a good solution." Mulder admitted.
"But we can't talk to her around here."

The seat crackled as Skinner extracted himself from the booth. "Agent
Reyes and I will head back to the Hoover building while you gentleman
find a good place for a phone call. Check back in before you leave for
wherever."

A good place for a phone call turned out to be a phone booth about
thirty miles away. No one had followed them, so Mulder had finally
pulled off near a small, nearly empty, shopping plaza.

He hovered near the phone booth while Doggett spoke to his younger
sister. "Hey Sis, it's John. How are you doing? I'm good...Yeah,
you're right, I do have an ulterior motive. We've got a kidnapping
case we're tying to solve. Some cult group has grabbed a couple of
infants...and we're afraid that the nine-month-old son of one of my
partners might be a target...Yeah, we're hoping to find a place to
stash him until this all blows over. Somewhere they wouldn't think to
look for him...Really? You're sure? That's great. We'll catch a flight
today."

After he hung up, he turned to Mulder. "Pack your bags, we're going to
Georgia."

**

Their meeting with Skinner was brief, and would have been briefer had
Mulder not gotten Skinner to promise that he'd get them welcomed onto
the team searching for the missing babies when they returned. "I won't
know he's safe until this is over." Mulder pointed out to win the
argument.

Doggett left immediately, informing Kimberly that he was feeling very
sick, and probably wouldn't be in the next day, either. Everyone liked
Kimberly, but they also knew that if you wanted to seed a rumor in the
Hoover building, the secretarial staff was the best place to start.

After swinging the door to the daycare open and seeing his son sitting
on the floor playing, Mulder exhaled a noisy sigh of relief. This did
not escape the staff's notice, so he gave them a sheepish look before
walking over to his least favorite daycare worker.

"Good afternoon Agent Mulder, what can I do for you?" The Hair's voice
was polite but curious.

He pulled a sad face. "I have to leave early today, and William won't
be in tomorrow... My great aunt Edna is in a bad way. We're going to
catch a flight to South Dakota this afternoon. We don't have much
family left, so it's important that we go and see her."

"Oh! I'm sorry to hear that. Any idea how long you'll be gone?" 

He held out his hands. "She's really sick." 

"I understand." The Hair nodded. "I hope she feels better." 

"Me too." Mulder replied before stepping over toys to reach his son.

William was peacefully playing with baby Joel, or more accurately
playing by himself right next to the other child, when Mulder came to
claim him. He spared a moment to say hi to the other little boy and
admire his shaky walking skills, before picking William up.

The daycare staff had no idea that he didn't have any relatives out
west, which made the necessary deception easy to carry off. He felt a
little bad about lying, but given that there had been no practical way
to get the guys in to do a bug sweep of the daycare- the thought of
Frohike suspended from a harness above the blocks was more funny than
a workable plan- it was an unpleasant necessity.

**

Brightwater, Georgia
7pm

Neither Doggett nor Mulder had said much, even after picking up a
rental car in Atlanta. Mulder wasn't sure what Doggett was thinking
about, maybe he was lost in memories of growing up in the state, but
his own mind kept thinking about the CDC.

It wasn't as though the Center for Disease Control held any special
charm for him, but it had been a place that he and Scully had visited
a time or three in connection with their cases over the years. A
surprising number of their cases had involved bizarre illnesses...

The car rolled to a stop in a residential neighborhood. "We're here."
Doggett announced needlessly.

A street light shone on the house, making the front door stand out a
bright white, while the rest of the house continued to be swathed in
shadows. Something about that made Mulder shiver a little as he got
out of the car to open the back door.

William had fallen asleep at some point during the drive, and was
sleeping with his head lolling on his left shoulder. Surprisingly, his
hat was still on his head, and Mulder hadn't even remembered to tie it
on earlier. "Hey Bub, wake up." He said softly as he pulled the baby
out of the car seat. It might have been easier to give him to Kelly
Doggett while he was asleep, but he knew that the little boy would be
terrified if he woke up somewhere strange, with his father gone. He
was yawning against Mulder's neck when they reached Doggett.

 Just as Doggett raised his hand to knock, the door swung open. A tall
blonde woman threw her arms around Doggett's neck. "I've missed you,
Johnny."

Freeing himself from his sister's embrace, Doggett pointed at Mulder.
"This is my partner Fox Mulder and his son William."

"Nice to meet you." Kelly said. "I'd like to tell you that my brother
has told me all about you, but that would be a lie. He's very closed
mouthed about what you all do at the FBI."

"We put away the bad guys and try not to get ourselves killed." Mulder
said dryly.

"Come on in, it's getting cold out here. Hal isn't home yet, but Keith
and Lacey are in the family room if you want to say hi, John." Kelly
surged ahead. "And you can put the baby in playpen, Ryan's already
asleep."

"My niece is seven and the boys are four and two." Doggett explained
as he and Mulder walked down the hall. "That's why I knew that Kelly
is good with kids."

Mulder nodded, and looked around the house. It certainly looked
child-safe.

When they got to the family room, Kelly held out her arms. "Why don't
I take William."

He hesitated for half a second, then handed William over. "Are you
sure that you and your husband are up to doing this?"

"Sure. People like you and my brother are doing the people in this
country a great service by looking out for our welfare every day.
Helping you folks out for a few days is the least we can do." Kelly
smiled at him. "And in case you worried, Hal was here when Johnny
called, so he's not coming home to a surprise or anything. We both
want to do this."

"Thank you." Mulder said sincerely. 

"Mulder, I think we need to leave soon if we're going to make our
flight to Ontario." Doggett said softly.
Mulder looked at him. Doggett had been talking to the two little kids
on the couch, so he'd almost forgotten that he was there. Instead of
answering, Mulder leaned over the edge of the playpen, where William
was already happily playing. "Bub, Daddy's got to go. Once Doggett and
I find those kids and bring them home to their parents, I'll be right
back for you, okay?"

Although he knew that William was too young to have any idea what he
was talking about, it made him feel a little bit better when William
smiled up at him. Mulder ruffled his hair. "You be a good boy for
Kelly. Love you."

"Don't worry, Agent Mulder. We'll have fun while you're gone." Kelly
said, then she hugged her brother again. "Both of you be careful,
promise?"

"Promise." Doggett agreed. "I'll call you as soon as we have the
situation under control." He turned to Mulder. "Come on, the sooner we
get to Canada, the sooner we'll be back here."

Mulder was the first one out the door. He couldn't bear to still be
there when William realized he was gone and started crying. Or didn't.

**

March 11th, 2002
9:47 PM

"Over here! We think we hear something. Crying." Reyes' voice crackled
over the walkie-talkie strapped to Mulder's belt.

Shaking his eyes, he looked around trying to pick out his partner from
the backdrop of desolation. After long moment he spied movement just
to the right of one of the largest pieces of burning wreckage. He was
fairly sure that it was Reyes an another agent who had been looking
nearby.

Another burst of crackling, then he heard too: an infant's crying. He
pushed the button on the walkie-talkie to speak to her. "That's good
here. How many did you find?"

There was a pause. "Just one. He seems unharmed." 

Standing amidst the fires, he wasn't sure he was more surprised that
found one of the babies alive at all, or heartbroken they'd only found
one.

**

Even an hour earlier it seemed as though there may be a chance to
reason with the cult leader, Josepho. Surprisingly cordial for a man
in his position, Josepho agreed to talk with the FBI. In hindsight,
Mulder thought that ought to have been a big brightly lit warning
sign. Unfortunately, none of them saw what was coming.

Ten minutes before Josepho was to meet with the agents, everything
went to hell. Almost literally. Although he became clear that he
aspired to borrow a page from Vernon Ephesian's book, he evidently
considered poison too tame. So they blew the compound up. This group
of cultists really wanted to leave their mark on the world, scorched
into the ground.

By some miracle none of the agents were badly injured in the blast.
The paramedics, who had reached the scene within five minutes, were
instead kept busy just with abrasions, minor burns, and in the case of
one unfortunate agent, a broken wrist. Several agents, including all
those from the X-Files office had escaped injury entirely; these were
the ones who scored the area hoping against hope to find both of the
kidnapping victims still alive.

And now one of the boys had been found, alive, unmaimed...the are rang
with jubilant shouts, but Mulder's voice didn't add to the din. He
suspected that those who were celebrating had no small children in
their lives, therefore couldn't picture telling someone they cared
about that their child was never coming home - which was becoming
increasingly likely for the other child.

A charred arm nearly tripped him as he attempted to make his way
towards Reyes, so he recoiled in half-horrified disgust. But as he
stepped back, he caught a tiny movement out of the corner of his eye.
He figured that it was a piece of cloth picked at by the wind, but
given the fact that it might be the rest of the body, he did not
relish the idea of going to investigate. Sighing, he shined his
flashlight in the direction of the movement.

It turned out to be a sock, light blue, the foot still in it. The
foot, along with the rest of the body shivered as the wind picked up.
Mulder dropped his light and tore off his coat, bending to wrap the
victim. He then groped for the walkie talkie. "Got him." The bite of
the wind through his dress shirt made him gasp out his message, but he
tried to control his shivering so he wouldn't drop the baby when he
called again. "He's okay."

Standing in the middle of those fires, he gave a quick thanks to
whatever force in the universe had allowed the two little boys to
survive when every one of their captors had not.

**

March 13th, 2002 
5:12 am

When one knocked on the door of a house before six am, it would be
normal to expect that the homeowners, if they bothered to get out of
bed at all, would greet you with yawns and tired stares. In this case,
however, the woman who opened the door for Doggett was not sandy-eyed,
but had the tremulous appearance of someone who had not slept in days
- and it was likely that she hadn't.
He smiled his best it's-a-happy-ending smile, and held out the infant
to his mother. "We had him checked over at the hospital, and he's
fine."

There were tears in her eyes, but she took the baby in firm hands that
belied the shakiness she probably felt. "Oh, Christopher, Mommy
thought she'd never see you again." After a couple moments studying
the sleepy infant's face, his mother turned shiny eyes towards him. "I
can't thank you enough."

"Just doing our job, Mrs Hetsel." Doggett told her with a tired grin.
"I'll be honest with you, this is one of the happiest endings for a
case I could ever hope to work on."

The mother began to smile, but then didn't. "Is the other baby okay
too?"

"Oh yes. Baby Michael is being brought to his parents by another FBI
agent as we speak."

"Thank God." This time her smile was genuine. "I was so afraid since
the FBI called and said that Chris was coming home that I'd be
celebrating only to find out that the other baby hadn't made it."

"You can pull out the party hats without guilt." Doggett reassured
her.

"I heard they're all dead. On the news." Mrs Hetsel confessed.

"They won't be bothering your family again." 

She hugged her son close to her chest. "Two babies going home to their
families today, you can't do better than that."

He smiled and said goodbye, but all along was mentally half correcting
her. Three babies were going home, but she was right, there was
nothing better than that.

**

Meanwhile
Over Virginia

"Can I get you anything?" A different flight attendant on a different
plane spoke to Mulder in a polite whisper, since he was the only one
awake.

"Orange juice if you have it, thanks." He whispered back.

The flight attendant smiled as she passed him the small, sealed, cup
of juice. "You have a lovely family, I hope you don't mind me saying
so."

"Oh. Thanks." 

As she pushed the cart away, he wondered if he should have corrected
her. William was lovely and the whole of his family, but Reyes had
just gone along to lend moral support. Or maybe not just, he thought,
looking at his sleeping partner, she had certainly proved not to be
just another agent over the past year, but a good friend as well.

Hours ago, just after they'd brought Christopher Hetsel and Michael
Stoke to the waiting ambulances, other agents seemed shocked when
Mulder had immediately declined the privilege of being the agent to
bring Christopher to his family. Most agents jumped at the opportunity
to be the bearer of good news.

Doggett, however, understood why he wouldn't want to do that, and
volunteered in his stead. The other agent with Reyes when she found
Michael decided to do the honors for that homecoming when it became
clear that Reyes intended to go with her roommate to retrieve his son
from Georgia.

"You probably shouldn't go for him alone." Reyes had told him. "I hate
to say it, but it's clear that this case has your nerves shot, and you
probably shouldn't drive once you get to Georgia."

He could have protested that it wasn't true, but he figured that she
knew him well enough to know that he'd be lying through his teeth. So
instead she'd driven once they'd gotten to Atlanta.

Strangely, though, she'd hung back when they'd gotten to Kelly's
house, and she still wouldn't tell him why. "Don't want to know if
John's been telling tales out of school." She'd muttered before
getting back in the car, and refused to say another word about it.

At the time he'd been so overjoyed with having William back in his
arms, after profusely thanking Kelly, that he hadn't thought much
about her odd statement. Looking at her now, however, he wondered if
perhaps his mention about what Kelly had said about Doggett's
closed-mouthness was really what she meant.

Mulder sighed and looked out the window, wondering why she still had
never talked to him about Doggett. It was obvious to him that she'd
been hung up on him until around New Years, then obviously wasn't. If
he was so good a friend that she'd fly to Georgia with him to keep him
from having to drive, why wasn't he good enough a friend to talk to
about something like that? Who was she talking to anyway, anyone? It
occurred to him that maybe she wasn't talking to anyone, which made
him a little sad. And more than a little empathetic.

At least her feelings for Doggett, whatever they currently were,
weren't causing a problem in the office. At least they were almost
home. The last thought made him smile.

**

April 2002

The week began with Doggett getting a tip that led him to a corpse
walled up behind new plaster, and went downhill from there. Although
she was obviously bothered by their partner's moodiness as he was,
Reyes made no move to speak to Doggett about it, so it fell to Mulder
to try to sort out one late afternoon when Reyes wasn't around.

For the subject of an intervention, Doggett seemed fairly calm, but
only because Mulder had yet to get to the point- William bounced in
place happily as Doggett obligingly held him up to the side of his
desk. The glee on his son's face had distracted him for a moment, but
then he realized that he ought to get to his reason for asking Doggett
to come back to the basement with him after he picked William up from
daycare.

He tried to keep his voice casual. "What is it about this case that
has you so tense?"

"That cadet, Rudolph Hayes, he came to speak to me at my place
yesterday." Doggett replied without looking up.

"I take it that it wasn't a mere social call." 

"No." This time he did look up, frowning a bit. "He told me about how
he figured things out, and I admit that I lost my head a bit, and gave
in to the irrational desire to know if... I asked him if he could help
me the same way. To find my son's killer."

Aghast, Mulder didn't know what to say. He still can't imagine how
painful it would to lose William, and it surprises him sometimes that
Doggett doesn't hate everyone who hasn't lost their children, because
he thought he would. "Oh."

"You know, I looked at the case files the first few days I was at the
X-Files. Ran across a picture you must of taken, or someone did, of
little boys and little girls at a farm." His voice was so soft it was
almost hard for Mulder to hear him. "Little blond boys... I stared at
that photo, willing it to be Luke. Your report said they were clones,
and couldn't even talk, but I didn't care about that, because it would
mean that part of him survived... but it wasn't him, no matter how hard
I squinted or hoped."

After giving a short brittle laugh, Doggett transferred William's tiny
hands to Mulder's. "Bet that sounds dumb, but it shows you that I've
never really gotten over Luke's murder, because it's still unsolved."

"I'm not sure that it being unsolved is why it's hard to get over."
Mulder said gently.

"Yeah, but it does keep the wounds open. So I asked Hayes for his
help, and do you know what he said?" He waited for Mulder to indicate
that he didn't. "He said that this case, the one with the dead women,
was the same case." Doggett said, referring to the case he'd stumbled
onto earlier in the week.

"Meaning..."

"Meaning that that punk Nicholas Regali we've got on the wire about
those two women is the same creep who killed my son."

"Do you believe him?" Mulder asked while pulling his head back from
William's grabby fingers.

Doggett shrugged. "He said he's got crime scene photos on all his
walls, and they tell him things that lead him to solve the crimes.
Either he's nuts, or I'm nuts to even contemplate believing that he's
not completely full of it."

"He did lead us to those two bodies." Mulder pointed out.

The look on Doggett's face was grim. "Which might just mean that he's
an accomplice to the murders."

"It might." Mulder admitted.

Getting up from his chair, Doggett sighed. "I've arranged a line up
for tomorrow, and have somehow convinced Barbara to come. Maybe she'll
recognize the creep."

"Your ex-wife." Mulder looked a bit startled; he had no idea that the
two were still in contact.

"Actually, no. We never filed the divorce papers. I suppose we should
have since we've been legally separated for as long as we were
together..." He trailed of and gave a helpless little shrug.

"That sort of thing must be hard." 

"Yeah, it is." Doggett's eyes were a bit shiny when he looked up. "But
who am I to complain to you? At least I know she's okay, even if we're
not together."

**

The next day Barbara Doggett stood and looked through a two-way
mirror. There was no one on the other side, and the room was empty but
for the oversized height chart on one wall, that was lit by a single
light bulb.

The woman looked over her shoulder and spoke to Reyes, who had been
reluctantly drafted to wait with her while they set up. "Do you
suppose this will take long?"

"I don't know." Reyes confessed. "I've never seen a lineup before." 

"Not your part of the proceedings, I take it. You were one of the
people who was there when Luke's body was found."

The tonelessness of the other woman's statement made Reyes wince.
"Yes."

"And you work with him now too." Barbara stated. "Tell me something
then-"

For a heartbeat Reyes was sure she was going to ask "Are you now or
have you ever been in love with my estranged husband?"

"-Is he better now?" 

"In what way?" She hoped that her voice didn't seem as unnatural to
the other woman as it did to her ears.

"After eighteen months of moping alternating with angry determination
to find our son's killer, I left him. It was like living with doctor
Heckle and Mister Hyde - and they were both unbearable after a while.
I just got so tired of trying to cope for the both of us..."

"If that's how he was, then he's better. We know who to expect at work
each day, no surprises."

Barbara looked relieved. "You can understand why reopening this case
would make me wonder that."

Yes. Between me and you, I wonder if reopening this case has something
to do with our partner. He has a baby, and John likes him a lot. Maybe
he doesn't just want justice, but to keep a monster from..."

"He's interacting with your partner's son? That surprises me. For a
long time he wouldn't look at other children."

"He is better." Reyes repeated.

"Must be." They watched men troop into the other room. "I want to
recognize him. Then, once this is behind us, John and I can both move
on."

**

The next day

All three agents looked up in surprise when Brad Follmer walked
through the door of their office. He rarely came down to the basement,
so it made them all wary.

On the other hand, Follmer had a friendly enough look pasted to his
face. He stopped in front of Doggett. "I heard that your ex-wife-"

"We're separated." Doggett told him. "Never filed the papers." 

Mulder glanced at Reyes and saw a fleeting expression of shock, but he
was sure that he was the only one who noticed, and said nothing to
draw attention to it.

"All right, Mrs Doggett then." Follmer agreed. "I heard that she was
unable to identify Regali in a lineup."

"Unfortunately that is true, but she may not have ever noticed him-" 

Follmer held up a quieting hand. "When you raised concerns about
Regali I looked into the source of these allegations -- uh, a cadet,
right?"

"Rudolph Hayes. He's been very helpful in this investigation." 

"Rudolph Hayes died in 1978 in a car accident." 

"What? Let me see that." Folmer held out a file to him, and he was
quick to take it.

"Cadet Hayes's real name is Stuart Mimms of Mendota, Minnesota. Last
known residence the Dakota County Psychiatric Facility."

"He was a mental patient?" Reyes asked.

"Diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic voluntarily institutionalized in
1990. In 1992, he checked himself out and disappeared. There's another
thing. We can also place him in New York city in 1993 ... the year
your son was murdered."

"I don't like what you're implying." Doggett told him.

"You don't have to like it." Follmer shrugged. "As matter stands we're
going to dismiss him from the FBI today for falsely representing
himself. And we're going to question him about the murders he's been
so helpful at investigating - your son's included."

"I know he didn't have anything to do with Luke's murder!" Doggett's
voice was raised, but not quite a shout.

"Then let's hope our investigation bears that out." Follmer walked off
without allowing further comment.

**

"AD Follmer was involved with Regali." Reyes told Mulder that night .
"That's why I broke things off with him a few years ago."

"Not because, to quote Doggett 'he's an oily little weasel'?" Their
other partner had filled Mulder in about what had come of their
investigation of Kersh during the weeks between Scully's death and his
return to the X-Files.

"Well, that didn't help. Just by chance I ended up seeing something I
wasn't meant to - Brad taking a payoff from Regali."

"Did they see you, too?" 

"I don't think so." She laughed, but humorlessly. "I kept expecting
that it would come up and that there was a logical explanation for
what I'd seen... it was part of a sting, maybe...Then Brad began to
spend like crazy and I knew. What I'd thought I'd seen had been what
I'd seen." She spread her hands. "Instead of confronting him and
giving him the change to lie to my face, I put in my transfer request
and broke up with him."

"He didn't ask why?" 

"There were plenty of reasons he could have picked from to nail his
assumption to. So I let him do that."

Mulder didn't want to force her to elaborate, so he merely made a
non-committal noise in his throat.

"The years haven't refined him, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's
setting Hayes up."

"Why would he do that?" Mulder asked.

The corner of her mouth quirked. "If he's in as deep as I think he is
with Regali, it's probably a CYA measure. What do you think Regali
would do to him if he let some schizophrenic kid like Hayes land him
behind bars for one of the murders he committed?"

"Um...nothing good." 

"Exactly. I don't know, Mulder, maybe you should talk to Hayes. They
let him go and he checked himself back into the hospital, saying it
was time to go home."

"Why should I talk to him?" Mulder asked again, this time actually
surprised.

"You want to know if he knows." Reyes said cryptically, and wouldn't
elaborate.

**

Worth's Hospital
8PM

The nurse at the front desk was not thrilled to see Mulder. She
frowned when he explained who he wished to speak to. "We don't usually
allow visitors on the day a patient checks in."

"But you're going to make an exception because it's necessary to speak
to him for an FBI investigation." Mulder said pleasantly, if firmly.

"Of course." She said, but she didn't look happy as she lead him down
a hallway. When they stopped outside a room she gave him a pointed
look. "I trust that this won't be a long visit."

"Probably not." Mulder agreed as he knocked on the door.

Former Cadet Hayes looked surprised to see Mulder standing there with
his badge out. "I don't think I know you."

"You know my partner, John Doggett." Mulder told him, waiting to see
if he'd be allowed in the room. After a couple of heartbeats Hayes
realized this and motioned for him to take a seat.

"I suppose you're here to ask me if I killed his son." Hayes said
simply.

"No. I'm fairly certain that you did not." 

"I obsess not because I'm involved, but because that's what people
with my illness do. Obsess." Hayes looked down at his hands. "And some
times that leads to answers."

"Like the identity of Luke's killer. Regali." 

"You believe that." The younger man sounded surprised.

"I do. But that's not why I wanted to speak to you tonight." 

"Then why?" The brown eyes are lit with curiosity as they look at
Mulder.

Instead of answering Mulder dipped his hand into his coat pocket. He
fished out a photograph and handed it to Hayes. "They said that
pictures of the dead speak to you. I don't know if it has to be a
postmortem picture..."

"It doesn't. They're just easier to access than family pictures,
usually."

"Easier?" 

"For everyone. You don't have to talk to the family, just to the
people who have copies."

"Oh." He watched as the man studied the picture. "What does she say to
you?"

Hayes' face looked suddenly sad. "Nothing." 

"Nothing?" 

"I'm sorry." Mulder felt numb when the photo was handed back to him.
"There's no voice in this picture."

"Maybe another-" His voice began to sound desperate to them both.

"It wouldn't help. I hope you find peace, somehow, anyway." 

"Thank you." Mulder stood and began to walk towards the door, but
stopped short. "I do believe you're innocent, you know."

"I can tell." Hayes said calmly, then picked up a book as Mulder
headed out the door.

**

Two days later

Regali was dead. Shot in the eye by AD Follmer, who was immediately
arrested for the crime. If not for Doggett's insistence that he was
going to speak to Regali alone, Mulder or Reyes might have witnessed
his dead body first hand too, not just hear about it from Skinner an
hour after it happened.

"Is John going to be okay?" Reyes asked shakily once they got the
news.

"He's a strong person, and he'll get over it." Skinner told her. "He's
going to take a few weeks off, though. Use up some of that vacation
time that's accumulated since he started with the bureau.

Sitting at his own desk, Mulder found his mind wandering. It never
occurred to him that accumulated vacation time would travel with an
agent if they transferred from one department to another. After
scolding himself about focusing, he turned to their boss. "They're
absolutely sure that it was Follmer pulled the trigger?"

"Yes. They've got his prints on the weapon and he confessed
immediately. Why do you ask?"

"It's just..."Mulder hesitated. "I got the impression that if Doggett
had gotten the truth he suspected out of Regali that he would have
killed him."

"Witnesses said that he was quick to follow Regali out of the bar
after they had a heated conversation. I can't tell you that he didn't
have murder on his mind, just that if he did, he didn't act on that
impulse."

Which didn't really make Mulder feel all that much better. For all
they know Follmer was just a quicker draw than their partner.

"John wouldn't have killed anyone." Reyes insisted.

Mulder let that go, and so did Skinner. "I trust that the two of you
can hold down the fort without assistance while agent Doggett is on
vacation."

"Yes, sir." Mulder answered for the both of them, and Reyes didn't
contradict him.

"Good." Skinner started to walk away. "This isn't an optimal outcome,
but I think that we can all agree that it's a good thing that the
Doggetts will now have some closure."

Two dark heads bobbed in agreement, but it was just as well that
Skinner couldn't see the questions in his agents' eyes.

**

A few days later

Waves crashed noisily as Mulder and Reyes watched the scene that
played itself out near the shore. Neither of the pair they were
watching would have objected if they'd gone closer, but they didn't
feel right about it, anyway. It was a private scene, and they both
considered it nearly an intrusion to be even as close as they were.
Doggett had asked them to come, to bear witness, so they had.

Even William seemed struck by the solemnity of the occasion, and
stayed quite in the protective circle of his father's arms.

A polished wooden box was clutched in both of Doggett's hands. She
couldn't read the inscription from that distance, but Reyes knew what
was burned into the lid. "Luke Doggett January 9, 1986 - August 13,
1993." Reyes had been there the day that Doggett had called the
funeral home to make the arrangements for his son's cremation. It had
been her last day in New York, and she couldn't return there without
imagining, at least once, a grieving father telling a faceless
stranger on the other end of the phone what to do with the broken body
of his only son.

Reyes glanced away from the shore to look at William. She made a
silent vow to do everything in her power to protect this friend's son.
Even if she hadn't been able to do the same for Luke, a boy who had
been dead before she'd even seen his picture.

Down by the water Doggett slowly opened the box. It was hard to tell
from a distance, but Reyes thought that his hands were shaking, at
least until Barbara covered his hands with her own. Together they got
the lid off. Wind took the little boy's ashes, and for a moment they
made a film on the ocean water, but soon waves dragged them away. Neva
would have said it was his spirit being set free, but Reyes isn't so
sure that her mother would be right.

If Luke was free, why were Doggett and his ex-wife crying? 

As she watched, Reyes thought that the years fell away from the
estranged couple. Doggett became aware of Barbara's tears, and pulled
her into his own watery embrace, trying to comfort them both.

At that point Reyes turned away. What they'd been asked to witness had
passed, and this was just voyeurism. Mulder took her cue and began to
carry William back up the beach to his waiting car. Neither of them
thought Doggett would notice that they'd left.

**

May 20th, 2002
7am

The smell of strong coffee assaulted Reyes' nose when she walked into
the kitchen. Sitting at the table, Mulder's eyes were as red as the
mug he held in both hands.

She knew why, of course. It wasn't marked on the calendar, but it
didn't have to be. Everyone in the apartment knew the significance of
the date, except maybe William. Deciding not to bring it up first, she
poured herself coffee too and took a seat across from Mulder.

He gave her a weak smile. "I invited the guys over tonight. In honor
of William's first birthday. Hope you don't mind."

"Of course not. Birthday boy still sleeping?" 

"Yeah. I thought I'd let him sleep until we were just about ready to
go. I think he's going through a growth spurt."

"I guess that means we'll have to clear the end tables." Her joke
earned her another smile, one a little less anorexic.

"I suppose. Wouldn't want him to steal the TV Guide. Now that he's
holding onto the furniture to keep himself up, I think it's only a
matter of weeks, if not days before he's walking." Mulder told her.
"You've been reading baby books again." 

"Of course. I don't have a handy grandma to ask these things of." 

"Or one to tell you the 500 ways you're raising your child wrong."
Reyes pointed out.

"There's that too." Mulder agreed. "I asked them to come around seven
so I have time to swing by the party store for decorations."

"Okay. I'll help you set up." 

**

8:07am 

Reyes had the office to herself for a few minutes, because Mulder was
still upstairs talking to the daycare staff. As she'd left him he'd
muttered something about being sure "the Hair is going to make a big
deal over the baby's birthday," and it seemed like he might have been
right.

When Doggett walked in that morning, he was whistling. This startled
Reyes, since she was expecting him to be depressed; for some reason
she expected everyone to be. "Having a good morning?"

"Having a good life." Doggett corrected. "Finding out about what
happened to our son has healed the rift between Barbara and I. We
don't blame each other any more."

"Oh." She said, wondering why she'd never stopped to wonder how he'd
spent the leave he'd been on until just a few days ago.

"It's been good to learn we can move on." Doggett added cheerfully.

"Are you getting back together?" Reyes blurted out.

Doggett grinned at her. "I think I'm wearing her down about moving
back in with me."

"That's great." She said in a faint voice that Doggett didn't pick up
on. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

Once in the ladies' room she closed herself into a stall.

It hurt to breathe for some reason. 

What's wrong with me? She wondered. I've been over him for months.
Then it hit her - she'd come to accept that they weren't likely to be
together, but it had only been easy as long as he was rejecting all
women in general. Now that he's chose his estranged wife, the "what's
wrong with me?" questions were free to bubble to the surface.
Five miserable minutes passed in silence, and then, "Agent Reyes?" 

Reyes looked up, mortified to hear Kimberly's concerned look. "Yes?" 

"Are you okay? Agent Doggett said you looked sick." 

"Bad cramps." Reyes instantly improvised an excuse.

"Oh, that sucks." 

"Yeah. I'll be out in a few minutes." She said, hoping desperately
that no proof of her imagined condition would be requested.

"No problem, just wanted to make sure we didn't have to send for the
nurse."

"Ha, no." 

Once the other woman's clicking footfalls faded away, Reyes took a
deep breath and left the stall. She took a moment to glance at the
mirror. She did look pale, but at least she hadn't cried. Pretend
cramps couldn't explain a blotchy face.

Apparently Kimberly had explained things to Doggett, because he
refused to meet her eyes when she returned to the office. She thought
it was just as well. The tension in the office faded when Mulder came
in, complaining that giving a bunch of toddlers cupcakes was no way to
kick off a morning.

**

That Night

The party was probably the dreariest Reyes had ever been at that had
not involved burying someone first. As she collected the paper cups
and plates, she reflected that it was entirely hers and Mulder's
faults. If the hosts are depressed...

Not that people didn't try to be happy for William's sake. Even they
had tried. She might have even carried it off, if late into the affair
it hadn't become clear that Doggett was included in "the boys" that
Mulder had mentioned inviting. And maybe she could have tried to be
cheery if Doggett had come alone.

William didn't seem to realize that his father was depressed, and
actually seemed to enjoy the proceedings. He's been thrilled to smear
cake on himself for the second time that day, this time while Skinner
took pictures. And he'd really enjoyed the gunmen's gifts - leave it
to them to present a baby with empty boxes and a roll of wrapping
paper as gifts. Byers had given him something more practical - a
savings bond - but it was hard to deny that he didn't appreciate
Langly and Frohike's taste in baby gifts.

Eventually everyone left, using the fact that William was sleepy as an
excuse to go. She didn't blame them. Mulder took his son to his room
before they'd even left.

After she tied off the bag for trash, she changed for bed before
wandering into William's room. Mulder was slumped in the rocking
chair, with his son in his arms. He wasn't rocking. Still awake, the
little boy fussed a bit, holding his arms out to her. Mulder didn't
protest when she took William from him.

"Rough day, huh?" 

"Yeah." He said in a broken voice. "It's just...it's just..."

"I know." She said soothingly. "Go to bed, I'll change William." 

"Thanks." 

It didn't take her long to change William. He was sleepy, so there was
only minimal flailing of his little legs to contend with as she tried
to get his diaper and PJs on. It gave her plenty of time to think
about how miserable she felt.

She thought that she could hear Mulder crying in his room. It seemed
like a good idea. Just go to her room and cry herself to sleep in her
cold lonely bed. It's what she had every intention of doing as she
laid William in his crib.

** 

But somewhere on the way to her room it stopped making sense to her
that they should both grieve alone, when they might find comfort in
each other. It felt like a dream when she followed her impulse to walk
the other way and enter his room without permission; she left her
nightgown at the door with any second thoughts she might have been
capable of having.

He made no protest when she climbed into his bed, and that made her
bolder. She kissed away his warm salty tears, and darted out her
tongue to get the ones that had run to his lips. There was a muffled
gasp when he must have realized that she was naked, but he didn't push
her away, and he soon began to kiss her back.

They didn't say anything about what was happening, nor where things
were likely to go. Not as they ran their affection starved fingers
over the contours of each other's body; not when her soft questing
fingers helped him free of his boxers and kneaded his long neglected
member hard...or when he pushed her onto her back with a low growl and
sank himself into her deeper than she would have imagined, had she
ever given the scenario any thought.

It became difficult to remember the moment became before, and she
barely dared too anticipate those yet to come. As long as she
concentrated on the present, she could pretend that nothing else
mattered. Unfortunately, her body brought her back to herself, but it
wasn't a bad place to be.

The only sounds in the room were their ragged breathing, the soft
rhythmic sound of flesh meeting flesh and the woosh of blood of blood
pounding so hard in their ears that they both thought of heart
attacks.

A heart attack would have been worth it, Reyes decided fleetingly. At
first, each time she strained to move her hips to meet his, she hoped
this release would loosen the hold impossible love had on them. But
long before Mulder's warmth spurted deep into her she forgot to think
of anything but not wanting the sensation that pulsed through her to
end, and sorrowed that it would.

After their shuddering ended and their breathing returned to a less
marathon pace, she whisper two words into Mulder's sweaty shoulder.
Neither of them heard, and later she would forget she'd uttered them.
His contented sigh as he slid out of her echoed her sentiment of
gratitude.

Soon enough they'd have to sort out what what they'd done meant, but
not then. At the moment it was enough to curl against the side of a
man who wasn't John Doggett and fall asleep dreaming of neither of
them.

End Act One