Title: Seven Days 
Author: Scully3776 
Author Email: scully03776@aol.com 
Status: NEW - Standalone 
Size: 12k 
Rating: PG-13 
Archive at Gossamer: Yes to Gossamer/Ephemeral 
Category: Crossover , Humor 
Crossover Info: The Ring starring Naomi Watts 
Spoilers: Pick a season. any season. 

Summary: Mulder investigates an urban legend revolving around a
mysterious video tape where the viewer dies seven days after watching
it

***

Special Agent Dana Scully had no qualms about using her partner's
computer to write up her case reports even though she knew it pissed
him off that she used his desk. However, until he got the lead out and
put a bug in somebody's ear about getting her a desk and computer of
her own, he could just kiss her butt. She paused in her typing for a
moment to shiver and rub her cold hands together. She realized she
would be happy to sacrifice the long-promised and even longer awaited
desk for some heat. Then she felt a drip of water fall on her head,
and then another. "What the... oh great," she said, looking up as
water splashed down on her and on the desk. She reached for her can of
diet Coke, took a big swig, finishing it off then set the can on the
desk to catch the leak. Then she scooted her chair and the keyboard
away from the leak and continued to type. Soon, her work engrossed her
once again. And grossed her out for this was a particularly vile
X-File regarding the Teletubbies. It was the first time she truly
contemplated suicide on a case. Typing at a furious rate again, trying
to beat the deadline, she didn't even hear her partner come in at
first despite the squishing noise his wet shoes made. But she noticed
when he announced loudly "You're in my seat." "I've been keeping it
warm for you," Scully said, not even looking at him as her fingers
flew over the keyboard. Special Agent Fox Mulder peeled off his coat
and left it in a sodden heap by the door "Scully, you got to check out
what I found." "If it doesn't produce heat, Mulder," Scully said
flatly, eyes glued to the computer screen. "Then I'm not interested."
"I got your heat right here, baby."

Scowling, Scully stopped typing and looked up. Mulder, his soaked hair
lying flat against his head, held up what appeared to be a blank video
tape. "Oh, I see," Scully said, disgusted. "You plan on keeping us
warm with one of your videos that are not yours?" Mulder ignored her
barb. "There is an urban legend about a video cassette tape that
causes the viewer to die seven days after watching it. Before coming
back to the office after my appointment with... uh..." "Yeah, yeah, I
know you had a secret appointment with your informant X,"  Scully said
irritably as she saved her case report to diskette. "Go on." "How did
you know that I-"

"Women's intuition," Scully said, taking the diskette out of the
computer. "And I saw the big "X" in masking tape on your window this
morning as I drove by your place to work. You need a better signal."
"Sorry, they were all out of Bat Signal Spotlights at Wal-Mart,"
Mulder droned. "I had to make do with what I had. ANYWAY after my
meeting, I had to drop off some tapes at the nearby Blockbuster and I
saw this," he shook the video tape like a baby shaking a rattle
"Sitting on the shelf, no label, no title. Nothing. So I brought the
tape to the girl at the register and she acted like I was trying to
hand her a live cobra. She told me that one of her co-workers brought
that tape in as a joke, saying that it was THE tape that killed people
seven days after viewing it and she even got the cryptic phone call
telling you that you're going to die in seven days, but she thought it
was her little sister playing a trick on her... seven days after that
tape was brought into the store, that co-worker was found dead in
front of the television set. She was a nineteen year old girl, Scully.
Her heart just stopped." "Maybe it stopped because the cable went out
during one of her favorite videos on MTV and she died of shock?"
Scully said, gathering her belongings and putting them in her purse.
Mulder paused. "I thought I was the sarcastic one." "No. You're the
gullible one. I'm the skeptic. We're both sarcastic. Didn't you get
the memo?" "I am not gullible."

Scully snorted and reached for her coat. "Scully, aren't you the least
bit interested?" "To be honest Mulder. No. I think this girl was
either hitting on you, trying to scare you or both. I think this urban
legend is just that. A story to frighten people. And I am not in the
mood. I'm tired, I'm cold, I'm wet-"

"Is that an invitation?" Mulder leered. "No, I just told you I am not
in the mood," Scully reminded him caustically before continuing her
diatribe. "And now I'm going to have to turn this report in late
because I can't concentrate here with you babbling on about some
stupid ghost story. I'm going home." "Scully," Mulder pouted. "Why
don't you ever want to play with me?" "Because my mother told me boys
have cooties," Scully said as she put her coat on. Picking up her
briefcase and her purse, she said "Good night Mulder." Running his
fingers through his wet hair, making it stand on end, Mulder watched
her walk away. "Didn't want her sitting at my desk anymore anyway," he
said, walking towards the dusty television and VCR combination set
sitting in a cart next to his trusty slide projector. After plugging
the TV and VCR in, he shoved the tape in. "Should have gotten some
popcorn," he said, pulling his chair from his desk to the TV. Pulling
a bag of David's Sunflower Seeds out of his suit jacket pocket, he
said "Oh well, these will have to do." He plopped down in his chair,
turned the TV with the remote and started munching on sunflower seeds.
He then hit "Play" on the remote.

A god-awful hiss of static filled the room as the screen turned black
except for a slender golden ring appeared on the screen... A little
later...

The video assaulted Mulder's senses with gory pictures of worms,
little girls, women jumping off of cliffs, nails through fingers and
horses. At the end, the weird glowing ring appeared again and a shot
of the well. Then, nothing but the hiss of static. After the video
ended, Mulder stared at the blank screen with a blank expression. Then
he shrugged. "Not nearly as scary as the Peacock Family," he said,
standing up, brushing sunflower seed shells off his suit. The phone on
the desk rang.

"Scully must have forgotten something," Mulder sighed as he crossed
over to his desk. He popped another sunflower seed in his mouth before
answering. "Mulder."  "Seven days," a little girl's voice sneered in
his ear. Mulder let out an almost girlish whoop of excitement. "I knew
it! I was right!" he yelled, vindicated. "This IS the tape that kills
you in seven days, isn't it?" Because this was probably the first time
the specter received a reaction like that, she responded. "Um...
yeah?" "Wait, don't go, I have some questions for you." "Questions?"

"Yes, questions! First of all, when does the seven days start?" "Huh?"

"Is today Day One of the Seven Days or does the seven day count down
start tomorrow with tomorrow being Day One?" "You die within seven
days of watching the tape. Don't make this more complicated than it
needs to be, mister." "Well, I'm confused though. And I need
clarification. Because if today is a freebie day before I die, I don't
want to waste it. There are things I need to do. Like I should
probably contact my lawyer and get a will drawn up. And I need to find
a home for my fish-" "It starts tomorrow!" the little spooky girl
voice interrupted him. "The count down starts tomorrow." "So tomorrow
is Day One?"

"Yes."

"So what happens if I watch the tape again?" "What?"

"If I watch the tape again, will I earn bonus days?" "BONUS DAYS???"

"Yes," Mulder said, reaching over for a pad of paper and a pen to take
notes. "If I watch the tape again, will I get another seven days
tacked on to the previously existing seven days. Although, if that's
the case, it would make sense to watch the tape again on the seventh
day, don't you think so?" "THERE IS NO BONUS ROUND!" the little voice
howled. "YOU DIE IN SEVEN DAYS! PERIOD! THIS IS NOT THAT DIFFICULT OF
A CONCEPT TO GRASP!" "Well, what would have happened if the tape had
cut out halfway through?" Mulder asked. "Or I paused it to go to the
bathroom or something and never finished watching it. Would I still
die in seven days or would I die in three and a half days?" "You're
not supposed to be acting like this!!!!" the voice shrieked. "You
watch the tape, you get scared, I torture you for the remaining of the
seven days that you have left and then I kill you on the seventh day!"
"Oh, so do I need to meet you somewhere on the seventh day?" Mulder
asked. "Should I come back here, or can I just die in my apartment? I
wouldn't mind dying somewhere comfortable, like my couch...." He
pressed his ear against the phone tighter. "Miss, are you alright? You
sound like you're crying." "You know what?" the spooky voice screamed
out suddenly. "Forget it, just forget it! You DON'T die in seven days.  
I don't know when you freaking die, but I won't have a thing to do
with it if I can possibly help it because there is no way in HELL that
I'm going to spend eternity with your dumb ass nagging me with all
your dumb questions! Sheesh, floating around in that freezing cold
well water for seven days waiting to die was heaven compared to this
crap!" "So I don't die in seven days then?"

"ARRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Then there was nothing but dial tone.

"Well, dammit," Mulder bitched."I had more questions. And if I don't
die in seven days, then Scully won't believe me that this was the
tape." Then he looked at the TV and VCR. Just as he picked up the
remote to hit "Play", the phone rang again. "Mulder."

"And don't you EVEN think about rewinding that tape and re-watching it
in hopes that I'll call again when you're done watching it. I'm done
with you. Hear me? DONE. You don't deserve to see me do all my cool
hovering in mid-air thing while simultaneously flooding your living
room." "I'm not in my living room," Mulder said. "I'm in my office."
"Just shut up! Stop talking! Please go spread your misery somewhere
else! Live a long, miserable life! No cool death scene for you!" and
then there was nothing but dial tone again. "Well, dammit," Mulder
sighed again as he hung up the phone. "Now what am I going to do with
that damn thing?" He paced for a little bit, deliberating. Too risky
to leave it in the office. Scully or Skinner might accidentally watch
it. Kersh on the other hand... no, even HE didn't hate Kersh that
much. Couldn't leave it with the Gunmen, they'd probably download the
damn thing to the Internet. A killer video tape was bad enough, the
last thing that the world needed was a killer website. Mulder stopped
his pacing, then walked over to his desk and wrote himself a note on a
pink Post-It. "Memo to me #1: check out www.fear.com Memo to me #2 do
not let Scully pick out girly colored office supplies ever again."
After sticking the note on the computer screen, he looked at the TV
and VCR again, rubbing his chin, thinking. Then a slow, devilish smile
appeared on his lips.

A few days later...

Somewhere up in Canada...

He lit a cigarette before answering the knock on the door. "Now what?"
he grumbled as he shuffled towards the door. Trying to mastermind a
global conspiracy of alien colonization was a lot of work. "I'm
supposed to be on vacation," he muttered before taking a puff of his
cigarette. "Who is it?" "Fed Ex. I need you to sign a package."
"Package? What package?" The Cigarette Smoking Man said as he thought
<<The Well Manicured Man better NOT have sent me another package of
alien fetuses...>> He opened the door. "Where do I need to sign?"
"Right here sir," the Fed Ex guy said, holding out a pen and clip
board.  The Cigarette Smoking Man signed the forms with the alias he
was using for that week and snatched the package out of the Fed Ex
guy's hand. "Now go away," he snapped, shutting the door in his face.
The Cigarette Smoking Man tore open the Fed Ex wrapping. "What the
hell is this?" he said, looking at the plain video cassette tape. He
flipped the tape over and saw the note taped to it. He recognized the
handwriting: "Happy Father's Day, Dad."

THE END