Title: Regrets

Author: RPcrazy

Classification: Angst, Romance

Category: Doggett/Reyes romance

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Is it too late to mend the rift? Will John ever forgive her? Maybe it’s better to be out of his life for good than to endure daily reminders of what it used to be like.

***

Chapter One

It had been almost two weeks since she had last seen him.

Two weeks of constant thoughts of how they had come to be separated. Two weeks of trying to tell herself it was for the better. Thirteen days of self-punishment for the way she had behaved.

She had tried to empty her mind of him, his touch, his taste, the way his lips would caress hers as they lay in one another’s arms. The way his scent would linger in her clothes after he left for the night. All night she would hug his pillow and on waking it would still be in her arms; the substitute that was her fellow agent, her work partner, her lover John Doggett.

Since leaving there was no one to remind her to eat so she had rarely partaken. The hunger was penance for her sins. The pain in her belly she endured. The hurt in her heart was eternal.

The tears rarely had time to dry before there was another bout. 

Her life was at the lowest ebb but she could not return. In her eyes the wrong could not be righted. There would be a constant reminder of what she had done without permission, without his consent. John could not and should not forgive her.

Rolling onto her back she sighed deeply as she noted the small cracks in the ceiling of her hotel room. Each crack representing a notch of the rift that had come between them.

The tears ran again as she remembered his face when she left. 

The soulful eyes, the worry-lined brow, his pleading expression.

It was when she reached the elevator and pressed the button for the parking garage that she decided she would leave him. She would ring Skinner and ask to be transferred.

To see his face day in, day out and not be able to touch it, to not be able to take him in her arms and hold him, could not be endured. It was better she be transferred than constantly to be reminded about what it was like to lie next to him in bed, to bask in the afterglow following making love.

There was a muted knock at the door and voice from beyond.

“Ms. Reyes?” It sounded like Allison from Reception.

Monica lazily rose from the bed she had rarely left preferring to sleep rather than go through waking withdrawal. Wrapping her robe around her nightgown she shuffled to the door.

“Yes?” she croaked without opening the door.

“Ms. Reyes, you have a visitor, down in Reception.”

………………..

Monica’s stomach felt a lead weight. She had told no one except Skinner where she was going, not wanting anyone to disturb her period of mourning.

“Okay,” she said with a confused manner, not having made too many decisions in the past weeks. “Give me five minutes.”

Who could it be? Her mind raced through faces of acquaintances not coming to any understanding.
If Skinner wanted to talk to her he could have rung. Who would come all the way across the country to visit her? Who else knew she was there?

She hoped to god it wasn’t John. She was in no condition to go through it all again. Any contact with him would mean going through mourning yet again.

Dressed in her first day clothes for three consecutive mornings she ran a brush through her hair and checked her face in the mirror. Her eyes were tired and her face cheerless but she could not lift herself from the mood. She knew there would come a time that her smile would return and her life would move on but that was too far in the distant future.

Opening the curtains on the new day she took a deep breath, watching the traffic as it swirled soundlessly below. The large city sprawled out before her, a city she had visited years ago.

Making her way down the elevator her blood coursed through her veins and her pulse quickened imagining the worst.

She was beginning to wish she had left the country to be away from any reminder of her past life.

……………..

“Monica, my darling.” The voice sounded from behind as her vision circled the room.

Tears began to well as she saw the familiar woman, her height, her colouring. The face and body were rounder than they used to be but she still kept in good shape for a woman of her years.

“Mama,” Monica accepted her mother’s embrace.

They lingered that way, her mother seeming to accept her need to be consoled.

“Come,” she signalled Monica to follow and took her daughter’s hand.

Monica was initially confused how her mother could find her but she also knew how persuasive she could be when she wanted her own way. In a way she had taken after her mother, head strong, keeping true to her heart and caring.
She sighed thinking how all that strength had been whittled away with the reaction of just one man, the man she loved with all her heart and now was gone.

Taking her into a café and into a remote booth they ordered coffee and began the inevitable conversation.

“Mama, I was going to tell you. I just needed time,” her hands lay clasped on the table.

“Tell me what? That you were holed up in an LA hotel miles away from home?” Mama was rightfully scolding yet with a tinge of the empathy that Monica had learned while growing up. “That you are wasting away to nothing for God knows what reason?”

“Mama, I….” What could she say? It all looked so silly, so childish and yet it was the only way she knew to let go of the pain she had created for herself.

“Monnie, it’s over a man isn’t it.” She lifted a hand to the waiter who came promptly. “I’d like to order two serves of French toast.”  The waiter nodded and moved on.

“Mama, I’m not hungry.” It was partly true, her stomach having shrunk from two weeks of neglect.

Deciding to ignore her plea Mrs. Reyes continued to make headway into the reason her daughter would travel to the other side of the country leaving those at home to guess where she might be. Not even advising her loved ones of her intentions.

“You need to talk to me Monnie.” Her comforting hand reached over and lay on top of her daughter’s. “Whatever you’re going through I want to hear it, no judgements, just sound advice.”

The waiter bringing the food and coffee provided only a short break in the conversation.

Monica looked at the French toast and her stomach churned but she knew she would have to try some. With knife and fork she cut off a small corner piece and placed it in her mouth. Fighting the nausea she chewed and swallowed as her mother half watched on.

“I don’t know what to say.” It was true. She found it difficult to decide where to start and how much to tell.

“It’s that Brad Follmer isn’t it.” Monica’s mother took a sip of her latte coffee as her daughter snorted and shook her head. “Ah, it’s that partner of yours. I know you’ve had your eye on him for quite some time.”

The wave of nausea hit stronger visualising John’s face and how quietly seething he had been when she had dropped the news in the basement office two weeks ago. She could have waited for a better time but she had to give him some reason to his question of why for the previous three months she’d been drinking herbal tea and switched to soda rather than have their usual Friday night beer. The best reason was the truth.

“Monica, you’re pregnant.” Mrs. Reyes squeezed her daughter’s knuckles showing how well she knew her charge.


Chapter Two


“Why can’t you tell me?” John Doggett’s voice was louder than usual, and his hand thumped the desk, demonstrating his obvious frustration. “She’s my partner. She’s my…” he cut off his sentence but Assistant Director Skinner completed it for him.

“You lover?” Skinner had resisted the urge to let on he knew anything about Monica leaving but when confronted by the agent before him it was hard to keep it hidden. John Doggett had a way of getting to the truth. “John, it’s for your good and Monica’s that I keep her whereabouts hidden.”

John paced the room, his fingers working the worry lines on his forehead.

“Is she coming back?” He stopped and put both hands on Skinner’s desk and looked him in the eye. “Tell me she’s coming back!” His face fell further as his boss just slowly shook his head. “Damn!” If there were no listening ears his vocabulary would have been much stronger indicating his high frustration level.

“John, I don’t know what happened between you two and I’m not going to ask but I suggest you drop it.” Skinner’s voice sounded his authoritative self. “For the FBI and your jobs.”

“Sir, I’d like to take some leave.” John stood his tall self and kept as cool a face as would allow in the testing situation. It was a long shot but it was the best course of action he could see.

“You know I can’t do that Agent Doggett,” Skinner shifted on a different angle in his chair.

“You can’t or you won’t.” John’s jaw ground as his icy stare fixated on his boss.

“That’s not fair Agent Doggett,” his voice was lower, not wanting others to know the tension that pervaded his office. “You know I must keep Agent Reyes’ wishes.”

With increasing frustration John gave Skinner’s desk a final thump and then with silent aggravation left his office with a bang of the door.

…………………

John recalled the unanticipated news that his partner had hit him with two weeks previously.

It wasn’t so much the news but how unexpected it had been.

It still smarted that she had kept it to herself for so long. Was she ever going to tell him? Was the baby even his? Brad Follmer’s sorry face came to mind. How he wished he could just march into that son of a bitch’s office and punch his lights out! His teeth ground together as he slumped in his office chair a disappointed man.

The basement office had been a quiet place since Monica’s absence. More than quiet, it had been lonely. Alone during the week and two friendless weekends.

Since Monica had graced his office, life had been more bearable. Thinking more and more about her had helped him cope with the pain he had harboured for so long. That of his son’s death and all the other horrors he had seen and experienced in his line of work. His partner’s warm presence had softened his otherwise tough heart.

A tear came to his saddened face.

He loved Monica more than life itself and yet once more he had driven her away with his overreaction.

Initially he had half expected her to walk back in the door any time but when it had not happened for a few days that was when he had tried to contact her.

Expectation that she would return led to uncertainty which in turn led to fear that he would never see her again. If the child she was carrying were his would he ever get to see it?

He shook his head to erase all those thoughts but they were not going to go away in a hurry.

Sitting stiffly in his chair he made a decision.

He was not going to just sit there and take it. He was going to find Monica and bring her back to him.

No matter what, he wanted her in his life. He just hoped with all his heart that she still wanted him.

……………………

Chapter Three

“What will you do?” Mrs. Reyes held an arm around her daughter as she led her back to the hotel. “A single mother living in LA. It’s expensive here.”

“I know. I thought I might ask the assistant director if I can be transferred to a smaller place, maybe look at part time work.” It still wasn’t clear in Monica’s mind where her life would lead her but until then she had lived with fate. Fate had its highs but also its drawbacks. She was resigned to live with both.

As if reading her mind Monica’s mother spoke,

“This may be one of life’s messages, Monnie,” she lightly caressed her upper arm. “But are you in the right frame of mind to read it correctly?”

“Mama, you didn’t see how angry he was.” They stopped while Monica took a breather on a bench seat, watching the traffic as it scooted by. “He even said the baby was probably Brad’s.” Mrs. Reyes was quiet, just thinking, letting her daughter continue. “It is John’s, Mama. I’ve never been unfaithful to any man, you know me.”

“Yes, I do know you and I also know that this isn’t like you, to run away from your heart.” Even though she wanted to be by herself to brood Monica was coming to see that having a listening ear was probably what she really needed. Her mother was always one to talk sense.

“I just don’t know.” Monica sighed and looked down to her lap. “I do know I can’t just go back and let it continue on its merry way. This, my pregnancy, changes everything.”

“Do you love him?” Her voice was almost inaudible over the traffic sounds.

Against her better wishes Monica nodded.

“I will always love him.”

“Your child needs a father, Monnie.”

“I know.” Monica sighed again as she rose and resumed walking to the hotel.

…………….

John used his lock pick to let himself into his partner’s apartment.

The room had the stale smell of non-occupancy.

The apartment was tidy just as though the occupant had left on a vacation.

Opening the fridge he saw there was little food and the dishwasher had no clean or dirty dishes. The apartment had been left tidy and clean for a reason.

Flipping through some magazines left on the kitchen bench and reading over notes left on the fridge John Doggett was looking for some clue as to the whereabouts of Monica.

He picked up her phone and redialled the last number.

“Scully.” The female voice responded.

“Dana, it’s John.” He anxiously looked around the room as he spoke. “You happen to know where Monica is?” He took the portable phone with him as he searched through the rest of the rooms.

“Monica? I haven’t heard from her in two weeks.” John tried to listen for any wavering in her voice to suggest she knew anything. “She said she was going away for a while. I thought you knew.”

“Did she say where?” John opened the bathroom cabinet and noticed the absence of everyday items such as toothbrush and toothpaste.

“No, she just said that she was on an extended vacation and would ring when she got back.” Scully’s inflection was genuine concern. “Is there something wrong John?”

Moving into Monica’s bedroom his eyes noticed the similar tidiness of the remainder of the apartment. Opening drawers and moving some of the clothing he tried to find any clue. Knowing Monica she would be thorough with her cleaning up. She clearly did not want to be tracked.

“Never mind Dana, I’ll find her.” He didn’t want any extra person also worrying. “I’ll call you okay?”

John moved back to the kitchen to replace the phone when he saw a small notepad.

There was nothing written on the top sheet but there looked like an imprint of something having been written on the torn off page above.

Noisily opening and closing drawers he finally came across a lead pencil and lightly rubbed over the etching.

His eyes widened seeing the message.

‘UA 129’.

……………………

Chapter Four

Mrs. Reyes helped her daughter pack up her belongings. 

“It’ll be a better place to stay until you can think more clearly,” her mother consoled. “Your father will be pleased to see you.”

“Thanks Mama, I’ve missed you both.” She took one bag, her mother took the other as they made their way down to pay the hotel tab and make their way back to Mexico.

“You have to promise me you will think about going and getting him back.” Maria Reyes reminded her what they had talked about in their discussion back in the room. “I want you to ring and explain everything.”

“Yes Mama,” Monica flipped out her credit card and lay it on her payment record as the receptionist checked the details. Not sure how he would react was not so daunting in her mind until her mother had helped her see some reason. When she got to her the country in which she had been raised and home and settled in a little she would contact John and see if at least part of the rift could be mended. 

It could never go back to the way it was before. Life’s circumstances had changed too drastically.

Signing the card let her mind wander back to when John had asked her quite innocently one evening in bed what she thought about changing names when couples married. She smiled her first real smile in two weeks recalling her response,

“John Reyes sounds good.” He had kissed her sweetly after that and they had made love all the while wondering if he had really been thinking about marrying her.  Her face went immediately sad again. 

There she was thinking about how good it had been. That was the past. The present and future held only instability. If only she had thought about contraception. No, that thought had tried to surface but she had buried it not thinking that she would actually get pregnant. More importantly she quashed the thoughts that having John’s baby was something that had been on her mind often. Somehow she thought it would make him happy to have another child. She had been so wrong.

Not thinking of the repercussions of actually conceiving she went and enjoyed all the loving and pleasure that two people in love could endure.

“Come on, the cab’s waiting,” her mother gestured.

………………….

John knew he was taking a big risk in trying to find Monica. Two big risks. One was that he was on a flight to Los Angeles on the assumption that the she had actually taken the United Airlines flight, the number UA 129 having been found in her apartment. The second was that he had disobeyed the wishes of his superior.

No matter, when John Doggett had his mind set there was no turning him around. He would deal with the repercussions later. There was usually a way.

Looking out at the white clouds was a distraction from the noise and activity around him. He was not interested in talking to the woman beside him who had three strident children with her. He just wanted to sink into his own thoughts. Putting up with her chatter he was polite for the first half an hour and then his head slowly turned to the window and her voice faded.

In his reverie the offending conversation surfaced.

It still made him smart when he remembered Monica’s words. It made him shift uncomfortably in his seat the way he had responded. Given the same circumstances he would have acted exactly the same way.

“John, there’s something I need to tell you.” He recalled her gentle voice and her sweet smile. “Something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while.”

“What? You’ve given up beer and caffeine because you’ve joined the church?” He had chuckled to himself at what he thought was a joke.

“No John, I haven’t joined the church.” She had conjoled. It had been difficult for her but he understood why. It was something she had kept from him that he’d had every right to know.

The clouds through the porthole window served as a backdrop to what was next staged.
“What could you possibly tell me I don’t already know?” His remark had been flippant as he dangled back in his office chair.

Then the words hit like a lead balloon.

“John, I’m pregnant.” 

It was something he was unprepared to hear. The thoughts of more children were something he had considered, what man who had experienced fatherhood would not? But to not be able to share in the decision almost made a mockery of the situation. Wasn’t deciding to have children an important life-changing event?

“You’re pregnant?” He had half laughed, half needing confirmation. She had nodded but kept silent waiting for him to respond further. “Since when?” He had found his breathing becoming too noticeable and the flush in his neck must have been obvious.

“Since three months back.” Again she waited until the words took hold.

“And you decide to tell me now? Why?” He stood up and began clenching and unclenching his fists.

Monica had clearly been uncomfortable in telling him and rightly so.

“John, please don’t be mad.” She had come closer and tried to touch his arm but he had moved away too aggravated for tactile consolation.

“Mad, Monica?” His voice had been raised. “How silly does this make me look? My partner is pregnant and I didn’t know. We are partners damn it! Don’t you think I would have liked to have had a say in this? Did you even ask me if I want children?”

“Do you want children John?” It had been a teary request, one in which he had no desire to soothe.

“I want children when I want them not when someone else decides for me!” What he’d said was true but in looking back, in retrospect he need not have been so harsh. “How do you now expect me to know for sure that the child is mine?”

That had been the last straw.

Her face went from teary to exasperated and then she was gone out the door.

John’s eyes misted up as he recalled waiting for her to return. She had left her jacket on the coat stand and the weather had turned cold. He waited until seven that evening. He waited the next week and a half giving her the time he thought she needed to calm down.

When Skinner told him she had taken some personal time then he had accepted it at first but when she wasn’t returning his phone calls he started to become concerned.

……………………..

“Mister,” there was a tug on his shirtsleeve and he looked down to see one of the woman’s children next to him. “Don’t be sad. Mommy said we’re landing soon.” He gave a half hearted chuckled and a smile and looked back out the window as they touched down in LAX.

“Returning home?” The woman resumed her conversation but this time he knew it would be short lived.

“No, I’m meeting up with a friend.” His face must have given away his grief.

“You’ve missed her haven’t you.”

John silently nodded and then all thoughts went to what he would do next to find the love of his life and try to get her back.

Playing and giggling the children ran on ahead of their mother, up along the long walk way of the arrival lounges.

John, with one bag in hand proceeded through the barriers and down the short escalator to the ground floor. Looking from left to right he imagined what Monica would have done as she could also have stood in the same position.

It was a long shot if anyone would remember a face from two weeks ago but it was worth the try. 

Heading over to the Information booth John produced a photo of Monica.

“Excuse me, but I was wondering if you remember seeing this woman here two weeks ago?” he asked humbly at first.

“Two weeks?” She looked at him as though he had to be kidding but took a look anyway. “No sir, she doesn’t look familiar.” John stood there looking like a lost sheep and she must have felt sorry for him. “Is she visiting LA sir?”

John nodded confirmation.

“She hasn’t been here in the ten years I’ve known her and she knows no one here as far as I know.”

“Then many people head for the hotels booth.” She directed him to an area a few meters to John’s right. 

Starting to doubt whether Monica actually was in Los Angeles or had travelled elsewhere he headed for the suggested booth and produced the photo.

“Can I help you sir?” came the happy voice of a man in his mid twenties.

“Yes, I’m looking for this woman.” He laid the picture on the counter. “I have reason to believe she may have enquired about hotels from you?”

“Pretty lady.” The man smiled up at John. “The face doesn’t ring a bell but if you tell me her name I’ll see if she’s in my records.”

“Reyes, Monica Reyes.” It seemed to take an eternity as he searched the records. John took in the scenery around him mentally crossing his fingers that he would come up trumps.

“Well, well,” As the man spoke John jumped to attention. “A Ms. Reyes booked into one of my hotels two weeks back.”

“Yes?” John’s heart restarted.

“I’ll tell you the hotel if you can prove you’re not a stalker or something.” The man showed some teeth in half a mock smile.

“She’s my…,” he hesitated, not having said the phrase before and feeling a little uneasy. “She’s my lady friend.”

“Ah, lovers quarrel.” He laughed. “I’m all for patching up relationships. She was booked into the Sofitel in Beverly Boulevard. Want me to make a reservation?”

“No, no, that’s okay.” John thanked the man and took a step back ready to find a cab.

“Sir, there should be a hotel bus coming past within the next ten minutes.” The man added.

John nodded and waved a finger in thanks for the information and then was outside in the busy LA activity.

…………………….


Chapter Five.


It had been a long drive from the airport.

Monica was thankful for the air conditioning to cool her hot, dry, tired body.

Her father had been pleased to see his daughter once more but also gave her the scolding she was expecting from him about her unannounced pregnancy and her fleeing from the man she professed to love.

“I thought you’d be happy to be a grandfather, Papa.” Monica had tried to make amends. He’d had the same tack as her mother and reminded her that a baby needs a father and a mother.

“Children can grow up just as well adjusted with one parent,” Monica had reminded, but it was really quite moot.

“Cherub, usted ama a hombre?” He had a way of using dated endearment names for her but he was her dad. That was him all over.

“It’s not as simple as whether I love John or not,” she had looked out the window at the passing housing and the dry, dusty terrain that was the place she was brought up.

“Cuál no es simple?” He then reverted to English knowing that it was what his daughter was more used to recently. “You either love him or you don’t.” It was all black and white with her father. She knew she inherited her mother’s tendency to look for deeper meanings in life. Not everyone and everything could be reduced to a single ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.

Her mother had been quiet on the trip, preferring to listen to her daughter and husband conversing. She had given her thoughts on the matter. She wanted to know her husband’s.

Her house had been just as she remembered it.

The single fronted weatherboard painted white with a green front door. The path to the front entrance was short but lined with a well-tended garden considering the shortage of water in the region.

Ciro Reyes took his daughter’s luggage into the house.

“Call the man, Monica. No importa el coste. El amor vale el dinero.” Her father reminded as he placed the luggage into Monica’s old bedroom.

“I know love is more important than money but I’m not sure he’ll want to talk.” Monica hovered over the phone generating courage to lift the receiver.

“Monnie,” her mother called, “I’ll make some tea. Take the phone into the bedroom for some privacy.”

Monica nodded, nervously biting her bottom lip.

Sitting on the bed she keyed in the numbers for John’s cell phone and anxiously waited through the several rings. When it rang off with a disconnected message she sighed disappointment but then decided to call his home phone. It would have been towards the end of the afternoon back in DC and there was the chance that John was home.

After three rings the phone went into answering machine mode.

That was when her face began to pucker up and the tears started. Just hearing his voice in a recorded message sent a flow of remorse through her veins. She missed him so much it hurt considering it.

“Monnie? Did you talk?” Her mother’s face appeared around the door.

“He wasn’t home and his cell phone is off.” Monica felt her bottom lip tremble and knew that her emotions were brought on more than just her regrets for leaving her lover. Pregnancy, she’d heard, had a way of heightening sensations. 

“There’s always later.” Her mother consoled. “Come, there’s some Camomile tea and some sponge cake for you. We need to fatten you up.”

Monica’s mouth formed a small smile as she followed her mother and friend to the kitchen.

She hoped beyond words themselves that John would forgive her for walking out on him. Even if he didn’t want the baby, to bring it up as the father then that was his choice. She could only try to persuade him that she wanted him to be part of their life but in the end it was his decision alone.

.........................

After the flight John switched his cell phone on to ring back home. Sitting in the hotel bus enduring the stop and start traffic that was LA he contemplated the single red light flashing telling him he had one caller.

Could it have been Skinner ringing him? After all he had left his office in one of his hell bent moods. Perhaps his boss could see through his motives and had already deciphered what he was doing, and maybe where he was going.

Pushing that button to give him the phone number of the caller he squinted not recognising the pattern. It was probably one of those over the phone donation places that had become more popular recently. He shook his head and snorted. If they really wanted him they’d ring back.

The bus pulled up outside the tall building with the dark blue portico out front.

Doubts began to cloud John’s mind. Monica had indeed booked into the hotel two weeks ago but that was no guarantee she would still be there. What would he do, where would he go if she had moved on with no trace?

He stiffened his body and his jaw as he thought about getting that far. He was a trained investigator. This was what he was taught to do.

“Excuse me Miss,” John got the attention of a receptionist. “I’m looking for a woman who booked into this hotel a couple of weeks ago.”

“Sir, I can’t give away information about residents here,” was her off pat reply.

“This is important,” he decided to use his savvy before resorting to using his FBI credentials. He produced the photo and decided to gauge her reaction. “Her name is Monica Reyes.” John kept a firm gaze on her expression but it didn’t change. 

“I know her,” another female voice came from the adjacent position.

“You do? Tell me anything. Is she still here?” John couldn’t get the questions out fast enough.

“She checked out this morning.” The woman said in a matter of fact tone. 

John’s shoulders slumped but he somehow knew that finding Monica was not going to be that easy.

“Do you know where she went?” John was hopeful for more information.

“We don’t ask those questions sir.” Of course she was right. “She left by cab at about midday with another woman.”

“Another woman? Can you describe this other woman?” John’s hands gripped the wooden bench in anticipation.

“Don’t know her name but they seemed to know each other well. Tallish, dark hair, similar color to your friend.” She added, “That’s all I know.”

“Okay, thank you.” With the new information John decided he needed to collect his thoughts. Finding a place to order a coffee he sat in a booth near the window of the café looking out into the crowded LA street. 

As he sipped the strong black liquid the kick it gave helped him fit together the pieces.

At least he knew for sure that she had been there. Who was this dark haired friend of Monica’s? Was it someone she had befriended in the past couple of weeks?

He decided he would ring Scully to let her know his whereabouts and to cover for him if need be. Not to lie for him, but to at least be informed so she could formulate a response if needed.

“Dana, it’s John.” He could see people watching him using his cell phone so tried to keep quieter so as not to attract listening ears.

“John, where are you? Skinner’s been looking for you.” Dana’s anxious high-pitched voice sounded in his ear.

“LA,” he said simply, taking another sip of his coffee and then fingering the photo of his loved one.

“LA?” The others in the café must almost have heard her exclamation. “Skinner’s really pissed I can tell you. John, what do you want me to tell him?”

“Tell him anything Dana. I promise I’ll face the music when I get back.” His voice then softened. “I love her, Dana. I’d do anything to get her back.” His eyelids tightened but he took a breath to keep the tears at bay.

“I know John,” her voice also lightened. “I’ll call you if I have any news.”

“Same,” he replied and then pushed the ‘end’ button.

There was a presence beside him. Slowly John turned to see the waiter eyeing Monica’s photo.

“Hey man,” he pointed, touching the picture. “I know her.” John looked from the photo to the large man almost not believing his ears.

“Know her?”

“She and an older woman were in here this morning. They ordered French toast.” He hammered away in his west coast lilt.

“Older woman?” John needed more information.

“Yeah, in her sixties, dark hair, looked fairly similar.” The man thought for a moment, as did John. “Maybe family.”

John’s expression showed the most hope it had in the past thirteen days.

Quickly thanking the man he paid for the coffee and left the café.


…………….

Chapter Six


“Mama, that was a wonderful dinner.” Monica was trying to smile. “No one makes ‘Tortas de Papas con Espinaca’ quite like you.”

“I know it’s your favorite, Monnie.” Her mother placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her daughter into an embrace. “You and your baby deserve the best.”

“Do you think he will forgive me?” Monica looked up into the starlit sky as she and her mother sat on the front porch of their house.

“If he’s the John Doggett you have described to me and the one who was there for you after that nasty car accident he will.” Her other hand linked through her daughter’s fingers. “You’re the one who told me he was dependable and faithful. I trust your judgement.”

Monica sighed and nodded. She had been a fool for the past two weeks, preferring self-sacrifice rather than facing the music. It had been her mother, her best friend of all, who had made her see reason.

Even though she had called John again that evening without success she knew she would eventually grab hold of him and explain all. No matter his reaction she needed that closure in her life in order to move on. Life’s direction may have changed never to deviate back but what was done was done.

She would be having John’s baby. That thought alone made her lighten up. Growing inside her was part of the man she loved and would always love no matter what life’s changes brought her.

The night was quiet except for the faint hum of traffic on the highway about a mile away. The heat of the day had been replaced with the cool of the night. It would soon be time for bed but Monica and her mother had taken the chance of solitude to relax and talk.

“No matter what happens, your father and I will be here for you.” Her hand affectionately felt over her upper shoulder.

In the distance a sound was getting louder but mother and daughter dismissed it as they talked over old times and possible times to come.

When the sound of the car came closer both ladies looked up to see that it was a taxicab. It was unusual to see one down their street.

When it stopped right at the front gate the ladies stared with curiosity.

It wasn’t until the lone passenger exited and paid the driver did all become clear.

Maria Reyes gave her daughter a silent smile and a final embrace before standing and heading inside the house.

………………….


He stood there just looking at her simple beauty. It dawned on him there and then that she was the best thing to happen to him his whole life and how could he have turned her away?

Was she smiling? It was difficult to tell in the dim starlight. He had to move closer to make sure.

Every step nearer revealed more of her face, her sweet expression he had come to love. 

She made no effort to move but let him come to her, as it all should have been. He was the one who had forced her away so he should be the one to reel her back in.

Her face was a half smile. What did that mean? Had she forgiven him or was she waiting to hear what he had to say?

“Monica?” How else could he start?

“John.” The tone was enchantment to his ears. He had missed her voice more than anything. The way she was there for him, always the positive, ever the forgiving nature.

He stood before her and bent so that both knees knelt on the step below her, his whole body craving forgiveness.

“I’m sorry,” his eyes swelled with tears and his whole face begged clemency as the word were uttered.

“Me too,” her simple words rocked his heart. “Come here.”

Tentatively he moved to her open arms and then accepted her embrace with his own, nestling his weary head into her shoulder.

“Monica, I’m so sorry.” He sat on the step beside her and drew her closer. “I was an unfeeling ass. I hope you forgive me.”

“Yes, you were,” she lightly laughed, agreeing. “And I should have told you where I was going.”

“Yes, you should have.” He looked into her eyes seeing the forgiveness he had dearly craved. “I’ve come to tell you that I would love to be the father to our baby. If you don’t want me I will understand.”

“John, this is your baby inside me.” For added proof she took his hand and gently placed it on her abdomen. “You are the father.”

His face lit into a rare but wonderful smile.

“Our baby,” he verified, lightly nodding his head.

A moment passed between them that was mystical.

Until that moment he hadn’t thought about how much he had missed her kisses. Moving closer their lips gently touched, almost as though they needed rediscovery. When comfort took hold, their mouths took over, devouring each other as though they had been parted for an eternity.

As the kissing continued they both failed to see the two happy, contented faces at the window.

Smiling and taking his hand Monica led John to her bedroom where they would spend the night together in each other’s arms once more.

There was so much on which to catch up. Making quiet, passionate love was high on their agenda as testimony that they each shared reciprocated forgiveness.

Tomorrow would indeed be a brand new day. One of uncertain destination, but at least both knew they would take that path together no matter what the future would hurl in their paths.


The End