Title: Bath XII: Godiva Dreams Author: KMS! and Whitney Cox EMAIL: & Rating: PG-13 Classification: V & H Spoilers: None. Keywords: Bathtub/chocolate Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Can't afford to buy 'em. Characters lovingly borrowed from Carter/1013/Fox. Author's note: Not entirely necessary to have read previous chapters. This was supposed to be an Easter gift, but guess what? I missed *that* deadline. Anyway, Happy Easter and enjoy. Archive: Gossamer: yes Summary: M&S hunt for a ghost in a factory. Find the earlier "Bath" series fics here http://tooms.gossamer.org/html/title-b-2.html ************ The double doors opened and the orgiastic smell of chocolate, warm and brown, caressed their noses like a cat, purring and rubbing itself sensually over their olfactory perceptions. Scully's eyes glazed over and in a dreamy, far-away voice she murmured, "Chocolate. Dark chocolate. Mmmmmmm." The corner of Mulder's mouth tugged up as he smiled at her. Reaching out with his finger, he lightly touched the corner of her lips. "You're drooling, Scully. And you're starting to sound like Homer Simpson." Dana straightened with a jerk, like a puppet whose strings had been twanged, and swiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, feeling it come away dry. She scowled at her partner and replied with as much dignity as she could muster, "Am not!" Mulder's smile turned smug. "My mistake. I just thought you were going to. I mean with your tongue hanging out and everything...." "So now you're psychic. That should make it easy for you to find your ghost." Mulder pushed through the doors, grinning, to reveal the factory in full production. Pristine floors covered with gleaming oak parquet wood, buffed to a warm glow. Busy factory workers in white coats and hair nets, and great rollers slowly stroking the chocolate mix to keep it in a liquid state. It was late in the afternoon, near quitting time, and the windows showered the factory in saffron brilliance. Each cauldron of liquid was about chest high, dark chocolate swirling in their yellowed containers: painted vats the color of sunshine and as warm as melted butter. "You know, they said you can eat all the chocolate you can stand while you're here on tour." "Get thee behind me, Satan." Mulder chuckled softly. "And besides, I don't know what you're trying to imply. I am *not* a chocoholic." "No. You just treat it as if it's a demigod. And some days, as another food group." Scully huffed at him and refused to answer his taunt. "Remember, Scully, stretch lines form to the rear." That earned him another blistering glare and a pouting silence. Maybe it was time to play nice. "So, your cousin says there are ghosts here?" Dana let go a long-suffering sigh. "If it weren't for mom, we wouldn't be here. My cousin is whacked. She was always making up stuff." "You mean that stuff she told me about you as a kid wasn't true?" Dana whirled on him, eyes flashing fire, and demanded, "What did she tell you?" Mulder raised his hands in surrender. "Oh, nothing really. Just how you used to jury-rig the couch cushions with needles so you wouldn't lose you seat to a sibling when your mom told you to go do something." Mulder watched in amusement as the color rose in her cheeks. Dana shifted uncomfortably. "And she was probably putting me on when she said you and your sister ate all the middle out of your brothers' Oreo cookies and replaced it with toothpaste." Mulder looked over at his partner, whose head was trying to burrow below the neckline of her overcoat. "Or the time you substituted a cup of salt for a cup of sugar when you were baking fudge? I guess you didn't win the 4-H bake off that year!" "Damnit, I'm gonna get her for this! I can't believe she told you all those stories. Besides, it's all lies. Lies, I tell you. Lies!" "And the one about almost cutting off your little brother's ear when you tried to give him a haircut...." "Shut up, Mulder. And I'll have you know that Charlie still has both his ears." "And it's probably not YOUR fault that one of them looks like it belongs to Mr. Spock." "Does not! Anyhow, how would you know? You've never met Charlie." "The one-eared wonder?" "Stop it. It's not true. I didn't even get spanked for that one." "Nice Absolution Principle, Scully. Did they teach you that in catechism? Lack of retribution equals innocence. Besides, we can correct that oversight anytime you like," he added with a leer. Dana's eyes narrowed and shone like blue diamonds, just as beautiful and twice as cold. "Don't even think it, Mulder. Now let's go and find your silly ghost." **** Scully had spent the better part of an eight hour plane ride trying to convince Mulder that: 'Yes, my cousin's name is Candy Caine' (privately believing her aunt and uncle were sadists -- just like Mulder's parents). And: 'No, Mulder, she is not a porn star!' Mulder remained skeptical on both points. They had briefly met up with her cousin before Candy had been called away and now they were headed to Candy's office so she could give them the information on the presumed haunting. Mulder would have described her as spun sugar; light, airy and sweet. Scully, on the other hand, held a different opinion; but for the sake of family harmony, kept it to herself. How Mulder had managed to find enough time to wrangle all of her childhood stories in the few short minutes they had spoken to Candy was beyond her. Needless to say, she was beginning to regret introducing her cousin to her partner. They found Candy in the main office, standing on a desk, hands on hips. She appeared to be talking to an air vent. Taller than Scully, her head was covered in short, springy curls with glasses perching on the end lightly freckled nose. Her shoes lay scattered about the floor, as if they had been kicked off, to fall where they may. Only an inch of her cherry-red skirt was visible beneath the matching jacket of her suit. Mulder and Scully curiously watched the one-sided conversation for a few minutes. "Excuse me, but what are you doing?" Mulder asked. Candy turned toward the open door. Smiling, she jumped down from the desk. "Hey, Dana. I see you found the office!" Candy immediately began to give them the run down on the factory's spectral mischief-makers. Scully turned her head away, rolling her eyes at Candy's dissertation of the happenings, certain to her bones that her mother would owe her BIG for this. Candy not only managed detailed descriptions of the damage wrought, she also managed to deliver them in a breathy, hushed, Mae West tone of voice that conveyed urgency, danger and an underlying signal that she wouldn't mind Mulder's further investigation of HER...to Dana's great disgust. "If I may ask," Mulder questioned, "why were you talking to the air vent. You WERE talking to the air vent, weren't you?" Walking around the desk, Candy plopped into the chair. "Yeah. It's seems to be the only way we can communicate with the ghosts." At the agents inquiring look, she explained, "There seem to be two of them. We need someone to get RID of Abbot and Costello and Aunt Margaret said you were a Ghostbuster." "My mother said WHAT?" Abbott and Costello?" Dual voices stumbled over each other and the two agents eyed each other, resolving there and then to brush up on their interview techniques. What did my mother tell you, Candy?" Dana demanded. "She said that you can catch ANY-thing." Candy attempted to soothe her ruffled feathers. "And who are Abbott and Costello?" Mulder asked. Candy scrutinized him as if he had just struck his thumb into a light socket. Pretty but dumb. "You mean besides being depression era comedians?" "Ye-ah." Mulder spoke slowly, as if to an especially dimwitted child. He shook his head, sure that while beauty ran in the Caine-Scully family, intelligence had run away from this particular branch of the tree. "That's the names we've given our two ghosts. They're such jokers!" "Of course," Dana deadpanned. Candy glanced down at her watch. "Oh, they should be showing up anytime now. They must be late sleepers. They never show up before noon." Just then they heard a series of distant popping sounds, each spaced audibly apart and getting louder as the sound approached. The two agents raced into the corridor to see approaching darkness as the lightbulbs in the hallway exploded, one after the other, heading in their direction. Candy reached the doorway behind them and tugged at the back of their coats, drawing them away. "Come on! They'll be here any second." Mulder and Scully stumbled backwards, but not quick enough to avoid the raining shards of glass as the bulbs over their heads exploded. The storm passed them by, dying out at the end of the long hallway. Scully shook her head, dislodging splinters of thin white glass and then took the time to remove and shake her coat before attempting to further brush herself off. She looked over to see Mulder removing glass particles by shaking like a wet dog and ruffling a hand through his hair, having the effect of brushing away all the glass, but leaving him with spiky, porcupine hair. Dana turned to Candy. "What the hell was that?" Candy held up a hand and glanced down the hallway. "Wait a minute. They're not done yet. That was Abbott. Now it's Costello's turn." Moments later, Scully was startled by the sound of a door slamming, and then another, until each door down the long corridor had been loudly and firmly shut. Including the one to Candy's office "It's probably just bad wiring," Scully ventured. "Or a power surge. Faulty breaker. And someone left a door open and a breeze blew through and caused the doors to slam. Have you had an electrician come out and inspect? You DID call an electrician, didn't you? Not an exorcist?" "Well, of course, Dana!" Candy said petulantly. "That was the first thing we did. Do you think we're stupid?" Scully didn't DARE answer THAT one. She looked over to meet Mulder's amused eyes, almost giving into the urge to slug him in the arm when she spotted the unholy glee that danced there. "Is it always this welcoming here?" Mulder asked. "And do they do birthday parties?" Candy sighed, "Actually their kind of quiet today." As the agents moved back into the room and took the chairs in front of the desk, Candy continued, "Over the last two months we've had to replace every light in the building. I've had almost half my staff quit." Over head, the lights began to flicker, and they all looked up. "I'm not going to do it right now," Candy said to the ceiling. "I have company." Looking back at Mulder and Scully, she explained. "They like it when you sing. TV show theme songs. Abbott likes 'Bonanza' the best, but Costello prefers 'George of the Jungle.'" "Bonanza?" "George of the Jungle?" "I know, I know," Candy said tiredly, "It sounds stupid. But, usually, it works. Just about any theme song will work, but those are their favorites." "And you know this...how?" Scully asked dubiously. "I was working out here one Saturday, about two months ago. Those two were making so much noise, I could hardly think. So, I turned on the TV, hoping to drown them out. It worked, sort of. They stopped tearing up and rearranging the furniture. The next thing I know, the TV starts switching channels all by itself. So now, when they want to watch TV they start slamming doors and breaking light bulbs." "Candy, come on," Scully interrupted. "You expect us to believe that you have two ghost who like to watch TV?" "Why not? I know grown men who watch cartoons," Candy defended. "What is it you think we can do for you?" asked Mulder. "At this point, I really don't give a damn," Candy said, and flinched as the picture on the wall behind her fell to the floor with a crash. "Listen CanCan..." Scully began. "CanCan?" Mulder interrupted. "Don't call me that!" "We work for the FBI, not 'Ghostbusters'. Call Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd," Scully finished sarcastically. And the lights went. "What just happed?" Scully asked. "You ticked them off, what do you think?" Candy growled. "Will the lights come back on by themselves, or do we stumble around in the dark looking for the fuse box?" Mulder inquired. "I ask, only because stumbling in the dark with you two could be fun. Ouch!" "Did you hurt yourself, Mulder?" Scully asked innocently. "I'm hoping one of the ghosts just hit me upside the head. I say *hope*, because if it was *you*, Scully, this takes us into a whole new range of possibilities in our partnership. Not that I would be opposed to that, mind you." "I'm going to try and find a flashlight," Scully said in disgust, as she rose from her chair. Hands out-stretched in front of her, she slowly tried to make her way to the door. Her right hand met something warm, hard, and silky. Bringing her left hand to join the right, Scully gently patted the obstacle blocking her path. "A little lower, and to the left, please," Mulder murmured, as Scully's hands moved across his abdominal region. With a small push, Scully shoved Mulder back into his chair, admonishing him, "Oh, grow up Mulder." "I was," his voice rose out of the darkness. Stepping forward, Scully tripped over Mulder's feet. Off balance, she landed on his lap. "Is something going on over there, Dee?" Candy asked. "Scully's just giving me another physical," Mulder answered, his arms gently cradling Scully's squirming form. Reaching into a desk drawer, Candy pulled out a flashlight. Flicking on the beam, she saw Scully snuggled up on Mulder's lap, his hands moving caressingly over her back. "Scully!" Mulder said in mock outrage. "What are you trying to do? And in your cousin's office, too." Slowly he rose from the chair, gently placing Scully on her feet. "Dana," Candy pouted, "you should have said something." "About what?" Dana asked. "Wait till I tell mom. Aunt Margaret never said a word," Candy squealed. "I'm so happy for you!" "Happy for me?" Dana asked in confusion. "Happy about what?" "About you and Agent Mulder, you big silly," Candy giggled. "This is so exciting." "Candy." "What? Is it a secret?" Candy was delighted to be included in a secret. "CanCan!" "Is that why Aunt Margaret didn't say anything. I love secrets. Do the brothers know?" "CANDY!" "I suppose not. Remember in high school, that boy, what was his name? You remember, Dana, the guy with the motorcycle. Snake? Spider?" Candy guessed, totally ignoring the evil eye Scully was throwing in her direction. "Dick!" "Dick," Mulder snickered. "Dirk! His name was Dirk!" Scully all but shouted. "And will you shut up!" she pleaded. "You're going to give Agent Mulder the wrong idea. As if he doesn't have enough of those on his own." Candy looked from Dana to Mulder, and back. Then giving Dana a wink, said, "Yeah, that's right. It must have been Melissa. Mel was always running around with weird people." "Miss Caine, if you'll show us the way to the fuse box, we'll try to get the lights back up. I mean, on. Won't we, Snookums?" Mulder's voice was laced with innuendo and he only flinched a little when Scully socked him in the arm. **** The factory was empty. The machinery had fallen silent. And Scully was pissed off. They had searched for hours and found nothing. "Mulder, in the first place, just because Candy thought there was a ghost here is no reason to believe her. She's a loon. We have better things we could be doing. I'm supposed to be hiding eggs for my nephew this weekend. And if I don't see a spook, specter, or any other potential guest star from _The Exorcist_ within the next fifteen minutes, I'm leaving. I'm getting in a taxi and going back to the hotel, and leaving YOU here to look for Casper all on your own." Damn. Mulder hated Scully's uber-bitch-woman mode. "Okay. Fifteen minutes and we're outta here. Happy?" She settled back down against the wall of the huge metal vat with a loud *hmmpf.* "Ecstatic." Another ten minutes ticked away in silence. "Scully, look! It's the ghost!" Scully peered at the vaporous shape her partner indicated. "Mulder, it is no such thing. It's just steam coming from the boiler!" "Scully, did you hear that?" She looked hard at him "Hear what?" He waved a hand to silence her and stood, drawing his gun. "Shush. That sound. Right there." Without waiting another minute, he sped off around a corner, suitcoat flapping gently behind him. "Mulder?" At the moment, as comfortable as she imagined anyone could be in the company of industrial machinery, she heard no reply. "Damn it, Mulder, I'm not coming after you!" Her voice echoed off the vats around her and bounced back with a certain degree of ferocity. Ooh. She sounded sufficiently angry. Maybe a few more of those and he would come back and stop chasing sounds. "I mean it, Mulder!" If he really wanted to see vaporous shapes, all he had to do was look at the steam that was starting to rise from her ears as her temper reached boiling point The factory windows let in the moonlight, which, mixed with streetlight, cast the factory in a blue-orange haze. A few incandescent bulbs threw a pale skirt of light down to the floor. Not much light here at all. In fact, the bulbs shed even less light after they began to explode. Scully covered her head as glass and metal tinkled down around her head, bouncing off her arms and back. As soon as she was certain the fallout had stopped, she leapt to her feet and began violently to shake the glass particles from her hair. Again. Damn light-hating ghosts. "Mulder!" This time it was a scream. "Is that you, Scully?" For a moment, she considered not answering him. However, disgust, combined with a concern for their welfare, overrode any urge to let Mulder's more-than-stupid question hang in silence. 'You were expecting the Easter Bunny?' she muttered to herself, and then aloud, "Mulder, where are you?" Another light exploded and she heard glass rain down. This was not the place to be, she decided, covering her head and feeling the occasional sliver through her suitcoat. As quickly as she could, she raced toward the last place she remembered Mulder's voice coming from, which was around the corner, near the larger copper vats, the ones that reached nearly to the ceiling. She rounded the corner, almost slipping on a patch of glass, and came face to face with a veritable gaggle of...bunny balloons? Cheerful and brightly colored, they bobbed up and down on their little strings, anchored by what appeared to be an envelope. The lightbulbs had stopped exploding and the factory was now dead quiet. If this was some elaborate post-April-Fools joke from Mulder, she was never going to speak to him again. Never. She cautiously grasped the strings in one hand, the other plucking the envelope from their braided grasp. The envelope was heavier than it looked, and in the instant she lifted it from the ground, the brigade of helium-filled rabbit heads soared ceilingward, restrained from their flight to freedom by Scully's fist, still grounding them to the earth. They gathered around the pipes and machinery, bobbing madly and looming above Scully's head. "Scully?" Mulder stood before her, a dark figure framed by copper in the moonlight. He looked up at the rising bunny ears, mouth slightly agape, then back at her. "Shall I ask?" "I don't know." She shook her head. "They were attached to this letter." "You going to open it?" He leaned casually against the copper. It wasn't every day his partner received bunny balloons while on assignment. Smirking slightly, Scully slid her slender finger between the seams of the envelope and tore, revealing a letter written on heavy, gold-rimmed stationary. The letter read simply: HAPPY EASTER, DANA. SWEET DREAMS FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER. And below, in a flourish of cursive swirl: Alex Krycek. Confused, Scully looked up at Mulder. "I don't get it, Mulder. It's from Krycek." "What does he want?" Dana shrugged. "I have no idea." Mulder leaned lackadaisically against the huge copper container. Above him sat another, smaller, cooling vat. Specially designed to tip over and pour out everything. In exactly the spot that her partner was now standing. Scully stared in disbelief as the stainless steel handle came down as if pushed by an invisible hand. Following the path of the mechanism, she watched as the cooling vat above Mulder's head did a slow roll. Too late to shout, she could only watch as twenty gallons of warm chocolate poured from above and covered her partner from head to toe. Oh, damn. He was never going to be able to get that out of the Armani. Scully watched as Mulder opened his lips, making the chocolate around his mouth gape apart then blow little brown droplets at her when his breath whooshed out. Scully's own mouth had dropped open in astonishment. "Oh my God, Mulder! Are you okay?" "I'm fine, Scully. I'm just not very sweet on the idea of being covered in chocolate." Mulder swiped at his eyes to clean them. "Is it hot? Are you burned?" "About as warm as a sauna, but...not burning." A thought struck her and she cocked her head to one side in bemusement, studying Mulder, and then asked, "Mulder, could you put your hands flat by your head? Your palms covering your ears?" Dana knew her request confused him and she could see the chocolate around his eyebrows shift minutely as they furrowed together in a frown, but he obediently raised his hands and covered his ears. It was the pockets that finally did her in. Seeing the pockets of his jacket filled to bursting with warm, rich chocolate that overthrew all her reserve and tossed her off the cliff of control. Scully covered her nose and mouth as an unladylike snort erupted. Mulder's head tilted at the sound and she felt the laughter burble up from inside, spilling out of her mouth in snickers, followed by giggles and then riotous laughter as she gave in to it. It was all she could do not to fall to the floor, clutching her sides, as her body shook with laughter. Mulder's hands came away from his head and floated down, like chocolate doves, to settle indignantly on his hips. She could see his lip quirk in a small grin and she laughed harder. Her hands clutched spasmodically at the strings holding the ridiculous balloons and they drifted away from her fingers in a buoyant surge toward the rafters and freedom. "You think this is funny, Scully?" Mulder's mock-stern voice met her ears and she doubled over in another fit of giggles. "Mulder...oh, God...you...you look like a giant chocolate Easter Bunny!" Dana gasped out. Mulder lifted his right hand, taking his index finger into his mouth and sucking off the chocolate. "And sweet, too, Scully." "Oh God, Mulder...stop!" Scully cried, puffing for breath. Suddenly, they heard popping sounds echoing loudly in the nearly deserted factory. Mulder scrambled back, afraid of another encounter with their ghost, and slipped on the spilled sweet substance, hitting the back of his knees against a bathtub-sized refuse container. His arms flailed a moment before gravity won the day and he landed with a whump atop the containers discarded walnut shells. Mulder yelped as the shells cut through the material of his slacks, sharp points poking his butt and legs. Dana watched in astonishment as unidentified detritus floated down from the rafters and gently landed on her sprawlingly undignified partner, making him look remarkably like a chocolate man covered in sprinkles. Dana sidestepped the puddle on the floor and reached Mulder's side, taking a closer look at the sprinkles. Picking one up, she examined it closely and the giggles erupted again. Krycek had sent her about a million small photos that he had developed from their stay in the cabin after their skunk encounter. All the photos were about the right size to have been put in a locket, thumb size. Safely hidden from view inside the balloons. At least, until the bubble burst...so to speak. Another balloon popped above them and more photos gently rained down from the heavens, wafting gently down over Dana's hair and sticking wetly to Mulder's gooey form. The sound of Dana's giggles almost drowned out the bark of laughter that followed their decent. Scully looked up and locked eyes with the man who stood on the high catwalk raised above the factory floor. "Krycek!" *********** The End *********** Dedication: This is for my friend, Shelly, for all the hand holding and prodding necessary to finish this story. send all comments to: KMS! & Whitney Cox