Title: Twilight Author: David Hearne Send comments to ottercrk@sover.net Rating: PG Classification: S Disclaimer: Again, this is pure Chris Carter by-product. And, having quoted Pete Townshend and Leonard Cohen beforehand, I decided to rip poor Robbie Robertson off. (The version of "Twilight" that I'm thinking of here is a very nice version done by Shawn Colvin.) Spoilers: Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, The Pilot, Tithonus, FTF, Never Again Summary: A completion of a trilogy that includes "Misunderstood" and "Tower of Song." (Ah, trilogies. Thank you, Tolkein, for the concept that has killed many a tree.) In this final part, a funeral is held. ------------------------------------------------------------------ There was no reason for her to die before him. She had been a little younger and women tended to have longer life spans. The damage done by her abduction had been cured a long time ago. She had been a very healthy woman for her age. She was dead, nevertheless. One night, as she slept, her heart just stopped. It couldn't have been more painless. Fox Mulder became a very quiet man. The family and friends of Dana Scully paid close attention to him, spoke gently, tried to get a response that went on for more than two sentences. He would only smile at them, thank them for their kindness and leave them to stand next to a window. He was even less talkative with the reporters who were organizing retrospectives on one of the most important figures of the Colonization War. He only gave out one response which the media discreetly ignored. A journalist had asked "What are your feelings right now?" Mulder told the reporter to turn around so he could ram his cane up his ass. "That would give you a nice approximation," Mulder explained. He barely said anything during the service. Mostly, he sat in the front row and listened to the hymns and eulogies. There were three eulogies. Reverend Hau of the Elians told how a red-haired earthling had converted him to her faith through the sheer expression of her love and committment. President Melvin Frohike described the courageous Dana Scully he had known. You mean, the hot Dana Scully, Mulder growled inside. It took some restraint on his part not to stand up and tell the congregation of the creepy little subversive who had turned into a smarmy politician. Still, he remained silent. Then Ahleen Scully delivered the last eulogy. The fourteen-year-old girl with the silver hair went up to the podium. Like everyone else, Mulder had to resist a sigh as the blindingly lovely girl looked calmly out at them. Next to him, Emily squeezed his hand and swallowed. "Reverend Hau and President Frohike have spoken well of my grandmother's character. Their descriptions of my mother's virtues---her courage, her strength, her compassion---are all accurate. Yet it is also incomplete. Too often, we learn that our heroes have committed unbelievable acts of stupidity and cruelty. Their goodness often walks alongside a dark side. While my grandmother did nothing evil, she was far from perfect." Mulder frowned. Where was Ahleen going with this? "She was a very stubborn woman. It is one thing to hold onto your beliefs. It is another thing to use the language of rationalism and anaylsis to push aside what your heart is calling evident. My grandmother had a deeply-ingrained notion of how the universe was ordered. She ran away from anything that could shatter those notions, ran and ran until she fell down and reality pounced on her." People were starting to squirm as that firm young voice continued. No one was feeling more uncomfortable than Mulder. "She was a deeply passionaite woman in denial of her passions. Some of this could be attributed to her need not to be seen as 'merely feminine' and soft. However, she was also afraid of the inherent messiness of life. This could lead her to be aloof towards others and self-controlled to the point of cracking. And, sometimes, she did crack. While she rebelled against those who would control her, she would often submit for the sheer narcissistic pleasure. There is an incident with a tattoo that I won't go into." There were a few nervous laughs. Mulder looked at Emily, his eyes asking what the hell was her daughter up to. Emily looked back, her eyes asking him to wait and listen. "Above all, Dana Scully was afraid of death. And she was morbidly attracted to it. She was as terrified of its mysteries as she was intrigued by its unambiguous finality. Life itself was too hard for her. All of this could have made her a loner. If she hadn't conquered her own inner struggle, she might not have been able to help this planet win the Colonization War. She certainly would have spent her final days alone, admired by many but close to very few." Ahleen looked down at Mulder. In her distant gaze, a sign of warmth appeared. "That's why I wish to acknowledge the man who guided Dana Scully away from her darkness. He is a man who wrestled with the fear in his soul more openly than my grandmother. He would say that it was her who healed him. It's time that he knew what he did for her." Mulder never felt so old right then, so weak. He wanted to hear this but he didn't know if he could take it. "Fox Mulder...you taught her not to be afraid. You taught her that faith was not a weakness. You taught her that she could do more with the world than just get it in order. Justice and love were no longer puzzling abstracts for her. They became real and tangible. You once told her that death only comes for us when we seek its opposite. My grandmother had been hesistant to go out and seek until she met you. When death finally came for her, I know that she had no regrets. "But, perhaps, there was one regret. You also told her that she made you whole. Mister Mulder, you did the same thing for her, but I don't think she ever told you. "Thank you for doing that, Mulder. She was proud to have known you. So am I." Ahleen then stepped down from the podium and embraced the old man with a strength that could have carried him away. Mulder was quiet. Then he was sitting alone in the church. The coffin had been taken away. There would be a private burial later. Mulder wondered if he would go to that. Emily and Ahleen would be disappointed if he didn't, but he just couldn't... God. He had completed her. That couldn't be. Mulder had regarded himself as a lot of things. He had thought of himself as a one-man truth brigade. He had seen himself as a man trying to hold together a collapsing world. He had self-ordained himself as a crusader in his own personal holy war. He had never really seen himself as good. When the final assessment was made of the Colonization War, Dana Scully would be seen as a brave spirit. Mulder would be seen merely as the kind of personality needed for the situation. He was the guy obsessive enough and demented enough to devote himself to a truth that was beyond the acceptance of reason. The right asshole for a very wrong time. Those quiet blue eyes of Ahleen were simply seeing something that wasn't there. "Mulder?" He looked up and saw an angel. That was his initial impression and he hated himself for it. The decor of the church was influencing him. His reaction also had something to do with a handsome face that age couldn't touch, beautiful silver hair and an expression that was always understanding and caring. You see? Mulder thought. I'm not a good guy. Here is this great, kind man...sorry, humanoid. And I hate him for just being a fine husband for Scully. "Mind if I sit down?" Wednav asked. Mulder said nothing, but moved to the side. Wednav sat down on the pew. The two men were silent to each other for a long time. Mulder looked at that patient expression on Wednav as the alien kept his eyes on the bronze cross up front. He knew that Wednav could wait all year if he had to. So... "It was a nice service." "I particularly liked Ahleen's eulogy," Wednav replied. Don't start, Mulder thought. Don't pretend that we can ever be friends. Don't act as if I could ever see you as anything more than the man I couldn't be for her. Don't. Wednav kept still and silent, always watching the cross. "I guess that's a miss, Clyde," Mulder found himself blurting out. "Excuse me?" Mulder closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't want to get started on this, but the words came out anyway. "There was a case where we...Scully and I...we got involved with a psychic who could predict how people could die. Of course, Scully was doubtful." "I would have been, too. For different reasons, though. Even though it's a common aspect of the religions here, no spiritual belief on my world holds with the idea of prophecy. It's even considered blasphemous in some...I'm sorry, Mulder. Please continue." "Well, there's not much to tell. It's just that...he, uh...he told Scully that she wouldn't die." Wednav slowly turned his head towards Mulder. "Scully asked him how she would die. You know, she just couldn't resist it. She asked and he said, 'You don't.' I'm not sure what the hell he meant, but he obviously didn't mean...I don't know...I don't care." Wednav made no motion or sound for a long time, his face thoughtful. Finally, he reached into a pocket of his robe. He pulled out a round glass vial. It contained a blue liquid. "What's that?" Mulder asked. "Among my race, there is a tradition called Gloada Pon. It means The Dream of Loved Ones. We can take the memories, the feelings, the deepest secrets of a person and...well, copy them into this form. If you drink it, then you will have a vision of someone you lost." "Everybody lets their memories get copied into that?" "They do it if they think someone else will need it." Mulder looked at that vial, not even daring to ask where it came from. Then Wednav took Mulder's hand, gently spread it open, placed the vial in it and closed those wrinkled fingers around it. "You should have this." Mulder gave Wednav a harsh look. "Don't pity me. Don't give me something like this out of..." "I'm giving it to you because it belongs to you." "Just take it back, okay? You were her husband. You're entitled to it." "Yes, I was her husband, Mulder. She was my love, my Yahem. But I was never as close to her as you were." Mulder could only watch as Wednav stood up. The alien squeezed his shoulder and said, "You may envy me, Mulder. But I envy you even more." Wednav walked out of the church. Mulder sat on the pew. He sat on his living room couch. He stared at the vial on his coffee table. He stared at it for a long time. Then, after the clock had reached midnight, he finally said, "The hell with it" and drank the vial's contents. Agent Fox Mulder sat in his office, examining his photo slides and planning ways of making his partner miserable. He had done a background check on her. Her history had snazzy credentials in science as well as a lot of promise for a flourishing career in the Federal Bureau of Investigations. Undoubtedly, she was looking forward to her assignment with 'Spooky' Mulder with the same eagerness that the Polish used to greet Hitler. She would do her best to smash his little pet project into the dirt, just to get it out of her way. Well, en garde. And there was a knocking at the door. Best to start it on the right foot... "Sorry, nobody here except the FBI's Most Unwanted!" He listened to her heels as she stepped inside. He would wait just a few moments before he turned. When he finally looked, he was even more amused. A very cute chick had been partnered with him. Maybe they thought a little nooky would distract him from his lunancy. He was also entertained by the uncertainty with which she regarded his chaotic basement office. Then she put on her best professional smile and walked over to him, hand outstretched. "Agent Mulder? Hello, I'm Agent Dana Scully. I've been assigned to work with you." His hand reached up to hers. "Well, isn't it nice to be..." She jumped onto him, one-hundred-and-twenty pounds of woman right in his lap. Mulder's yelp was smothered as her mouth covered his lips and her red hair spread over his face. For a few moments, he was conscious of nothing else except the warmth of her mouth and the irresistible way that her tongue caressed against his. Then she pulled away, still kneeling on his lap. With a fairly sinister smile on her face, she tossed her purse to the floor and pushed at the table next to them. The office chair rolled up against Mulder's desk. With one scythe-like gesture, her arm cleared the desk of every last file, pencil and paperclip. She smoothly lifted herself up off him and laid down on the desk. "Ready when you are, G-man." At first, Mulder looked like some shocked virginal nun. "Agent Scully, what the hell are you..." Then he looked around him in slow realization. As he did, Scully took him by the tie and pulled his head down to kiss him on the cheek. "This isn't what happened," he said. "No. It's just what should have happened." He finally turned his eyes down towards her. She kissed him on the mouth again and again as he stared at her. Then he sighed and closed his eyes. "Mulder, what is it?" "This isn't real. It's just a drug-induced fantasy." "It's nothing of the sort." "No. It's only my erotic fantasy pumped up into some..." Scully sat up, her hands crossing behind his neck. There was no impatience in her expression. She smiled as if she knew that he would understand. "It's our erotic fantasy, not just yours. I was in that vial. My feelings, my dreams, my desires. They're in you now. I'm with you." Mulder started to say something, then stopped himself. He tried again and failed the second time. Finally, it came out in a whisper. "But...you're dead..." "No. I'm not." Her hands went down his back and she drew him against her body, pressing his face under her breasts. "This is not about living in the past. It's about what we want to do right here, right now." Mulder let out a long breath. Scully said, "A little mood music please" and he could a woman singing with only a guitar playing. ...Over by the wildwood... ...Hot summer night... ...We lay in the tall grass... ...till the mornin' light... Mulder held his arms around Scully. She stroked the back of his hair. ...Never gave a second thought... ...Never crossed my mind... ...What's right and what's not... ...I'm not the judgin' kind... She was so soft. He could hear the beating of her heart. ...I could take the darkness... ...the storms in the sky... The lights began to dim. ...but we all got certain trials... ...burning up inside... Mulder was no longer quiet. ...Don't put me in a frame on the mantel... ...'Fore memories turn dusty old and grey... He was crying. ...Don't leave me alone in the twilight... ...Twilight is the loneliest part of the day... The lights went out.