Title: The Truth, As I See It
Author: Ericka D.
Email: BKRI77@aol.com
Rating: G
Category: MSR.
Disclaimer:They belong to Chris, who last I heard, was on vacation without a
return ticket to get home. So they are staying in my head until he gets back.
Spoilers: Does this apply anymore?
Archiving:Yes, but let me know.
Summary: Mulder and Scully have some unfinished business. Does anyone 
remember William?

Notes:I purposely stayed away from adoption details. Forgive me, I
pulled a Chris Carter. I wanted this to be a mood piece, not a how-to
on getting your kid back after you mistakenly gave him up without the
father knowing. I'm sure there is no shortage of these stories, but
thanks for reading mine.




The road was dusty, dirty. We had been driving for eleven hours. The
pressure in my bladder was beginning to consume me. I had to stop. I
pulled over to the side of the road and looked at Scully, her sleeping
form pressed into the door of the car. I remember a day just like
this, leaning over and kissing her, when our journey began. Then, we
were speeding toward the truth. Now, we were headed toward what we
believed to be the only truth we'd ever know.

I leaped out of the car and did my business. I returned to find Scully
had awoken. "Where are we?" She asked, reaching for the water bottle.

"I was going to wake you. According to the map, it's only thirty miles
from here."

Scully eyed me warily and grabbed the map. She was the map reader, not
me. "You're right." She checked her watch. "Eleven thirty."

I searched her face. "Feeling ok?"

She nodded. "Just a little anxious. Butterflies." I grabbed her hand
and lifted it to my lips, kissing it. "Charmer, " she laughed. I
pulled her across the seat, my mouth finding hers. My hand snuck under
her jean jacket, but she slapped it away. "No detours. Let's go." She
buckled her safety belt as I started the engine.

Forty-two minutes and three wrong turns later, we pulled up to the
ranch. It almost looked deserted. "Anybody home?"

Scully gave me a look and got out of the car. She walked over to my
side and took my hand. "You ready?"

I smiled. "Yes."

She reached up on tiptoe and kissed me. Hand in hand, we approached
the house. The screen door was closed, but we could see inside. It
looked like something out of a movie, a typical farmer's ranch kitchen
with old appliances, a plaid couch, and a small rickety table. I
knocked as I surveyed the inside. Scully's grip on my hand tightened
as we watched a man approach. He stood on the other side of the door,
his hands on his hips.

"Hi, " I heard Scully. "I'm Dana."

The man nodded. His face seemed kind. I assumed he was a good and kind
man, if the situation warranted. This situation, however, did not. He
looked toward the back of the house. "Guess you'd better come in." I
looked at Scully as we retreated from the door. He sat at the table,
but did not offer us a seat, or a drink. We were already taking too
much from him.

The silence was awkward, but broken suddenly by a baby's cry. Scully's
breathing quickened, and her eyes fixed on the closed door in the back
of the living room. I could tell she wanted to run into that room, and
stop the crying. I had only seen Scully in her mother role for a few
days, but I knew her instincts were excellent.

Finally, the door opened, and a small woman wearing a faded blue dress
appeared, carrying a baby. Both of them had eyes red and puffy from
crying. The baby was dressed in a red shirt and tiny farmer jeans. His
eyes were brilliantly blue, surveying all around him. I turned to
Scully, who was openly crying now. We had discussed this moment, and
we had both agreed to try and keep ourselves as composed as possible,
for the sake of the couple. Looking back, I realize how futile that
was. I didn't recognize him, nine months after his birth, but that
instinctive connection was there. He was our son.

I let go of Scully's hand and put my arm around her. I watched the
woman approach us slowly, trails of tears running down her face. We
were the enemy. Stealing from them a dream too good to be true.
William looked at me, then at Scully. She was worried that he wouldn't
remember her, that he'd be scared and cry for his adoptive mother. But
I watched him looking at her, and I swear he knew.

William's farmer father had been lugging stuff to our car, and I
suppose I should have helped, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the
baby. "He ate about an hour ago," the woman said in a small, sad
voice. "So he's good for a while. But he's due for a nap." She handed
Scully a diaper bag. "I just changed him, and there's food and a few
diapers in the bag. The rest is all packed in a box."

We heard the door slam behind us. "All set." I watched as Farmer
Father walked over to William and kissed his head. He squeezed his
wife's arm and retreated to the backyard.

Scully took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. "Well, I
guess we should go." She stepped toward farmer Mother and William. But
the woman did not want to let go of the baby. She kissed him all over,
and he fussed in her arms. She was whispering to him, and I could tell
Scully wasn't sure what to do. In the end, William solved it. He
turned in her arms and reached his chubby arms out to Scully. I think
instinct took over, as she reached for him instantly. She hugged him
tight, kissing him. I couldn't bear to look at the woman now, no
longer Farmer Mother.

I steered Scully and William out of the house and to the car. All of
William's stuff was in back of the SUV, and his car seat was set up. I
opened the door and turned to Scully. Her crying had started again,
and she was clutching the baby tight. I reached for him, rubbing his
back and kissing his fuzzy head. Scully lay her head on my chest, and
I hugged them both.


Norwood Inn
7:30 P.M.

I watched Scully as I packed our suitcases. She was on the bed, next
to William in his seat. Much to our chagrin, he had fallen asleep
earlier in the afternoon.

"Longest nap in history."

She looked at me. "Am I a bad mother for waking him?"

"Not if his sleeping now means he'll be up all night."

She nodded and began to rock the seat back and forth. "All packed?"

"Almost." Our stuff fit into one suitcase. William's stuff however,
required three suitcases. "How does a child accumulate so much stuff?"
I asked as I tried to shove a purple horse into an overstuffed bag.

Scully laughed as she lifted a sleeping William out of his seat. "Come
on William. Time to wake up."

I walked over to them. "Don't fight it, son. When she wants you up,
she's relentless." I got a pillow tossed at my head for that comment,
and I returned to my packing.

"What time is the flight?" she asked, rubbing William's back.


"6:45"

"Tell me about it."

"Again?"

"Yes, please."

"Ok.Brick, all white, with blue doors. Two stories. On the bottom, a
living room, dining room, kitchen, and bath. On the top, two bedrooms,
a bath, and a rooftop patio."

"Say 'rooftop patio' again." I threw the pillow back at her, careful
not to hit William, and zipped the last suitcase. "Will I like Greece,
Mulder?"

"Yes, you will. And William will love it too. Speaking of, I think
he's awake."

"Hey little man. Still sleepy?" Scully rubbed his back, and he began
to whine. She settled him on her lap with one hand and reached for the
diaper bag with the other.

"Scully?"

"Hmm?" His fussing was turning into a full-blown wail.

"Let me take him."

"No, Mulder, he's fine." She said, rummaging through the bag. "He's
just hungry. I let him sleep too long."

I put my hand on her arm. "Scully, I haven't held him since he was two
days old."

She stopped, and looked at me. "I'm sorry, I just . . . "

"It's okay, I understand. You missed him. But I need to hold him.
While you get the bottle ready."

"Yeah, of course." She passed William to me, and I immediately
realized how big he'd gotten.

"Hey there, no crying now." I started to bounce him around the room,
showing him the view from the window and the faucet in the bathroom.
"How's that bottle coming, Scully?"

"Okay." She called from the next room. I looked down at William, whom
I thought was inspecting the bottle of hand lotion I gave him. But he
was looking up at me, really looking. Like he was studying me. And he
wasn't crying anymore. I smiled at him. "I'm your dad, buddy. I know
its confusing, but your mom and I are going to take good care of you.
We're going to see neat places, and play great games, and make faces
at each other, like this." I scrunched my face up, in what I thought
was a mean imitation of Mr. Potato Head. William's eyes went wide, and
I knew I had scared him. But instead of crying, he began to laugh. The
more I did it, the more he laughed. So I tickled his feet, and his
belly, anything to keep him laughing.

By the time Scully found us, I was sitting on the toilet, feet propped
up on the rim of the tub, the baby laying on my lap. I was blowing
raspberries on his tummy, much to his amusement.

"Having fun, Mulder?"

I looked at her, the two of us smiling, the baby laughing, and I
realized a truth I had never sought before but had now found -
happiness.

Scully walked over to us. "Time for dinner."

I handed William over to her. "And what did you make me?"

"Room service." She called from over her shoulder.


8:15PM

"I love you, Scully."

"I know. I love you too. Now eat, before it gets cold." Scully had
ordered me a bacon cheeseburger covered in everything, including extra
onions. "Kiss me before you eat, though." She leaned in, and I pecked
her on the cheek. She pulled back, and looked at me. "What is it?"

"Not in front of the baby, Scully."

She began to laugh. "Oh, Mulder. It's just a kiss. Besides," she
looked over her shoulder at him."he's oblivious."

And he was. On the bed, lounging, bottle in one hand, foot in the
other. I think he was deciding which one to suck on, but in the end,
the bottle won out. And so I kissed her, my Scully, in full view of
our son.


* * * * *

That night, we turned out the lights, set the alarm for 4am, and got
into bed. Scully was used to my late night TV habit, but after kissing
me and warning me of our early rise, she turned over. I had flipped
through about twelve channels when she turned back to me.

"What?"

"I can't sleep."

"Excited?"

"No. I mean, yes, but that's not why I can't sleep."

"Then what is it?"

"I just feel so bad."

"About?"

"The Mackenzies."

"Who?"

"The Mackensies, Mulder. Bob and Tara. The couple who had William."

"Oh, yeah." Farmer Father and Farmer Mother. I should have known their
names. Maybe it was easier for me to think of them in general terms.

She rose up on one arm. "I mean, I know what I went through when I
gave him up."

I raised my hand to stop her. "Exactly. Scully, do you realize all
that we've been through? We do deserve this. Yes, I feel bad for them.
But, well, look at him." I gestured to William, who was sleeping on
the floor in his car seat. "Kinda makes it all worth it, doesn't it?"

She nodded, looking at him. "Do you think it would be okay if William
slept with us tonight?"

"Yeah, so long as his diaper is securely fastened."

She giggled as she rose from the bad and carefully lifted the baby out
of the seat. She settled back on the bed on her side with him in
between us. I muted the TV and turned to face them. "Do you think he
snores?"

"You mean, does he take after you?"

"I do not snore, Scully. I can't even sleep." I picked William up and
lay him on my chest. His chubby little arms draped over my sides.
Scully snuggled into me, and kissed his head.

"Good night, Mulder."

"Good night, Scully."

I didn't actually fall asleep. I lay there, listening to my son and
his mother breathe, watching them sleep in the flickering light of the
TV. Maybe I'd Always have insomnia, but at least now the bed wouldn't
be lonely.