Title: Goodbye My Lover
Author: ** Allison Janney Fan **
Summary: Character death

Author's Notes: This is my first X-Files fanfic, I wrote one for ER but it was crap! It is also my first songfic, never even contemplated doing something like this before... I hope you like it... please read and review...warning of a character death.


I'm on my way home from he hospital, its practically my home now, not ours. I don't want to believe that it happened but it did. Dana, My Scully, died. 6 hours after giving birth to the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen. Her name is Katherine Melissa Samantha Dana Mulder. She looks so much like her mother, bright blue eyes and red hair.

But Dana was never meant to be, she died from internal bleeding. I keep thinking that it was my fault, but the doctors told me that when Katherine was born, she tore a bunch of muscles and they could do nothing to help her, except make her comfortable. But in my head I keep thinking it was me, I gave her the thing she most wanted in her life, a baby, and it killed her.

She was so excited and happy about it that she wanted to do it all naturally, she held my hand and her mother's hand and she done it all beautifully. She named the baby herself, after her sister, after my sister, and herself, she wanted to give the baby something of her, and for that I'm glad.

As I reach the house and lay little Katherine in the crib sitting next to our bed, I realize how quiet she has been the whole time, she cried when she was born but as soon as she was put in her mother's arms and into my arms she was silent, she was taking everything in with those big, bright blue eyes, I switch on the radio and the song plays, the one you dies in my arms with, I stare at Katherine as she drifts off into a peaceful slumber, and listen to the lyrics of the song.

Did I disappoint you, Or let you down
Should I be feeling guilty, Or let the judges frown

All those times I got us reprimanded, you were there to do a job, but it didn't seem to happen the way you wanted, you went everywhere with me. When you were abducted I blamed myself for that too.

Cuz I saw the end
Before we'd begun, I saw you were blinded
And I knew I had won.

So they took what's mine, By eternal right, Took your soul
Right into the night.

They may have taken you away from me, but you left me with courage and you left me with Katherine.

It may be over
But it won't stop there, I am here for you
If you'd only care.

You touched my heart
You touched my soul
Changed my life
And all my goals
Love is blind and that I'm new and
My heart was blinded by you.

You made me believe that there was more to life than the X-Files and that I should learn to live that life.

I've kissed you lips
I've held your hand
I've shared your dreams
And shared your bed.

I know you well
I know your smell
I've been addicted to you.

You're smell, was beautiful, the first day I ever met you in that office you smelled, you smelled of lilacs. Then gradually as I go to know you better you started smelling of vanilla, and finally you had a thing for apples when you were pregnant with Katherine.

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
you have been the one
You have been the one for me

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer
And when I wake
You can break my spirit
It's my soul you take

I always dreamed about you, then we got together I had no reason to dream of you, but then I started dreaming of family and it happened. Now I will dream of you forever.

And as you move on
Remember me
Remember Us
And all we used to be

Remember me. Remember Katie. Remember all the important ones to you.

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile, I've watched you sleeping for a while, I am the father of your child, I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I am the father of your child, Dana, our child, the one we thought you would never have, our precious little baby girl.

I knew your fears
And you knew mine
We've had our doubts
But now we're fine and
I love you

I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

I remember times, so many times in the 14 years we knew each other, in the 5 years we were married, how many times I told you that I loved you, and before we were together how many times you never believed me, you always thought it was the drugs talking or that I was hallucinating, but the day I kissed you changed all that, after that hard case in your home, where you nearly died from having your heart ripped out, you told me that you loved me too.

We had a lot of doubts in our relationship, in our marriage, but we overcame them, mostly because I listened to you, you were always the one who was strict and rational and you saved me from insanity with this. I owed you everything but you owed me nothing yet to me you are the one who suffered. I told you that I was scared of the prospect of being a father, now I'm terrified. But I know in my heart that you are going to watch down over me and over Katherine. I will try my hardest to be the best dad that our daughter can have.

Goodbye my lover
You were my lover
Goodbye my friend
You were my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

You were always the one for me, my touchstone and my lifeline, but now I have your spirit, in Katherine and I know I will love her with as much love as I loved you.

Goodbye my Scully, Goodbye my Dana.

The song has ended, I've picked Katherine up and have laid on our bed, Katherine moves and lays her head on my heart, exactly where Dana would put it at night time, maybe things do run in the line, and maybe Katherine and Dana are more alike than ever.

The End


I know its cheesy, or whatever, but I thought I'd give it a go...

Honor...

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