Title: FBI Deliveryman, AKA Dad
Author: Pattie
Rated: PG-13 for graphic imagery, a modicum of violence, and a child bearing perspective that youngsters are not ready for.
Category: A, Kidfic, Adventure, Alternate Reality.
Spoiler(s): Essence and Existence
Feedback: patfiler@hotmail.com
Archive: Gossamer, The Nursery Files. Others please ask before posting. Look for it at Pattie's Pocketful of X-Fics, in the Stand Alones section.
Disclaimer: Everyone and every thing X-Files are copyrighted by Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Studios. No money has changed hands, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: What if it had been Mulder driving Scully to Democrat Hot Springs, and he ended up delivering the baby? He might have spotted the Game Warden's metallic vertebra earlier on, for one thing...

Author's Note 1: Passages marked with "**" have been taken from the original Existence script.

Author's Note 2: Written for The Nursery Files in answer to a challenge for a story about Mulder delivering the baby, Scully's long and painful labor with Mulder calling Scully "Sweetie" or "Honey" during the event, and Mulder talking to the unborn baby as his head lies on Scully's abdomen.

Author's Note 3: In my mind, this story falls into the Alternate Reality category for two reasons: It steers out of series canon, and doesn't fall into any category on my web page. (Well, not yet;) Also, since it does veer from series canon into AR, Mulder can be out of character and use terms of endearment, so I am taking my anti-flame medicine right now, saving the flames to heat my Apartment.

Washington, DC It had been decided Scully could not conceivably deliver her baby safely in Washington, Georgetown or even her mother's place of residence. Mulder would have to drive her to a place where no one would find mother and child-to-be.

As Reyes and Skinner watched warily while Mulder and Scully drove out of the parking garage, Agent Crane was also watching. Or WAS he Agent Crane? Unbeknownst to all, this "man" had a familiarly out of place bump on the back of his neck.

The piece of metal that arrived at the pathologist's office was supposedy all that had been left of Billy Miles, and the pathologist thought the whole matter totally ridiculous. There was a small amount of human tissue on the thing, and there was very little with which to work on to formulate a cause of death theory. He shrugged off any testing on the vertebra-shaped object, deciding the matter could keep. However, apparently it could not "keep", and began a mitosis- like growth and division when the doctor was out of sight.

Speaking of growth, full-term Scully found it difficult to stay comfortable for long, strapped into a car and being driven for what seemed an eternity. Eventually sleep took over, a habit which had become easier as the pregnancy had progressed.

They had been driving till dawn, at least 9 hours when Scully opened her eyes. "Oh God, I was hoping this was all a dream. When did the sun come up?"

"About six hours ago," Mulder said with a grin, accented by five-o'clock-plus shadow. "Somewhere back in North Carolina."

Scully felt a bit guilty for sleeping so long, leaving Mulder with no conversation. She also felt a bit disoriented. "Where are we?"

"We just crossed into Georgia. How are you feeling?"

"Well, under the circumstances, I'm safe, the baby is safe. It's a bit cramped in here, and my belly is as tight as a drum. Don't worry, Dad. It's what happens when the baby is full term and ready to be born."

"It is that close, isn't it? Just in case, we packed a full complement of wardrobe before leaving. Let's just hope we won't need it until we can find a suitable place for our son or daughter to be born." Mulder bit his lower lip and kept his eyes on the road as he took a deep breath.

"Are you all right, Mulder?" In her mind, he seemed nervous.

"Yeah," he tried to sound upbeat, convincing, but he knew he couldn't hide anything from his long-time partner. "Well, considering the circumstances, the danger we're in... and... Well, from what I've heard of our destination, there isn't much in the way of... birthing facilities... Well, you know! I've never delivered a baby before."

"Well, I've never had one, so we're even."

Mulder's shoulders seemed to loosen and he smiled slightly.

Little did they know that Billy Miles, or a very good copy of him, had had a rebirth of sorts back in DC. Now, it was up to Skinner, Mulder and Doggett to do their damnedest to see to it that he didn't get to Scully and her child. Not only that, Knowle Rohrer had made an appearance at the Hoover Building, in search of Doggett on an urgent matter.

Democrat Hot Springs Nightfall

Mulder parked the car and turned off the headlights in an abandoned, run-down, deserted former resort area. "End of the road. Business isn't that great, but it'll have to do, Scully."

So this was where she could end up giving birth? She could even understand the place as a hide out, but the conditions were too appalling to undergo any medical treatment there, let alone bring a new life into the world. She looked around and wasn't so sure about giving birth there, but at least they would be safe. "So, where are we exactly?" *Please tell me it's just a stopover,* she silently pleaded.

"Democrat Hot Springs. Doggett told me people used to come here for the healing waters, until things dried up. He was born here."

"Well, that's comforting." She didn't really mean that. It was said more for Mulder's benefit. "So, where do you want to set up?"

Mulder peered at the buildings and made a decision. "Over here. My instincts tell me this is the spot. I just have this feeling... "

"You're acting on a feeling, Mulder? That's spooky."

"My middle name. Besides, there's just something about this place."

He was right. The edifice he led Scully to had the words "Water from the rock, Exodus 7:16," painted on the front window. It was a dusty, dark place, with a daybed in clear view. The image of Moses extracting water from a rock would have been reassuring anywhere else, but any onlooker would have been hearing the song "It's Impossible."

Scully started inspecting the place, and the prospect of having a baby here seemed more gloomy with each item she saw. She tried a faucet, and nothing dripped out of the spout. "I'm getting a feeling myself," she managed to say. Her thoughts were better kept to herself; not polite, she felt. She needed to remain calm. "Well, there's no water from this rock. We're going to need water, a place to boil it, and medical supplies."

"We have a few," Mulder confessed. "I need to get some fresh air, get the kinks out." He handed Scully, who was still inspecting the dusty room, his flashlight. "Okay."

Mulder took in the fresh air, stretched, noticed a hand pump and walked around a bit before he noticed something that set off an alarm in his head. In the night sky he saw a bright object that could have been a bright star. It was unnerving. He decided to go back inside the makeshift hotel.

Hoover Building Washington, DC

In his year working with Agent Scully in the X-Files, Doggett had been exposed to some unbelievable sights and stories, but the talk coming from old Marine buddy Knowle Rohrer had to take the cake.

He could understand there were some projects the military, in conjunction with the government, needed to keep a few secrets from the general public and even other sectors of government.

Rohrer's incredible story about the creation of self- replicating super soldiers, and that fantastic explanation for Billy Miles' great recovery from the garbage compactor not only threw him for a loop, but scared the hell out of him. He would be shaking his head in disbelief for a long, long time.

It became clear to Doggett and Skinner that Scully and her baby were in extreme danger now, and so was Mulder.

Agent Crane didn't seem like Crane, and Knowle Rohrer didn't seem like the Knowle Rohrer Doggett knew. Nothing was right here. Everything was wrong, and he, Skinner and Krycek had to act fast if there was to be a stop to the pursuit of the 'special' baby. Doggett endured the wild ramblings of Knowle Rohrer,(who may not have been Knowle Rohrer), about Billy Miles and others like him being new super soldiers designed to repopulate the earth and fend off aliens who were coming to fight other aliens over the earth. William was supposed to have been created out of that program. The chip on her body had supposedly allowed her to become pregnant. Yeah, right.

When he told Reyes of this, she questioned whether Rohrer could be trusted and to what extent all of this was true or false. She preferred to believe that something or someone out there had allowed Fox Mulder to be that baby's father -- that this whole business was another cover-up to explain the previous lies.

*So they're looking for the baby as either some sort of messiah or enemy,* Doggett mumbled to himself. *I'd rather believe Jack and the Beanstalk.*

As if that conversation hadn't been the news of the day, there was one more thing which would get Doggett's adrenaline running full speed: Billy Miles was in the building, locked, loaded and ready for bear.

And of course, Krycek. The man of a thousand lies. He was telling the same story. What the hell was he really up to? Which side was he on this week? The name Krycek had become synonymous with with the phrase 'two sides of the same coin' among the denizens of the Hoover Building. Duplicity seemed an appropriate middle name for the man.

Just the sight of the guy left a bad taste in Skinner's mouth, and Doggett didn't have to hear a word from the man to know that.

It was time to clean house.

Democrat Hot Springs
Next Day

Scully waited patiently outside while Mulder readied the building for the impending birth of their child. Of all the places to have a baby, this had to be the most remote, primitive location. Could this baby wait until they were all out of danger? Probably not. Any day now MEANT any day now. There was no place left for this child except the birth canal, and its head was down near the cervix.

She was leaning against the car when Mulder came out of the healing center. He was smiling. That was a good omen. Mulder took her hand, knelt on the ground, and pressed his head to her abdomen. "Now, I've made a nice delivery room for you and your mother, so whenever you decide to arrive, don't give your Mom too hard a time. Are we agreed? I think our little uber-Scully said 'Yes'." Scully's smile was worth a million words. Mulder stood. "Come see the place."

Scully was very pleased with what Mulder had done. The sunlight streamed through the window, showing a high gloss on the floor. The old iron bed had clean sheets, with spare ones piled on top, and there were candles placed around the birthing bed. She gasped in surprise.

Mulder was quite proud of himself. Not that he had previously been the most dedicated housekeeper before now. "I found them folded up in a cabinet upstairs. And a nice procelain basin and a box of candles."

"Do we have matches?" Scully asked.

"I have a lighter Reyes gave me, Honey."

Scully sat carefully on the bed. " 'Honey' ? You're either coming down with something or you are not Mulder. Can I see your I.D.?"

"Yes, I said 'Honey', Scully. This baby is a special gift between us... Stay here. I saw something outside the window."

Mulder pulled his gun and ventured carefully outside. Warily, he walked up and down the street, and then a green SUV tore around a corner. He maintained his stance and it stopped a few feet from him. Scully peered out to see Mulder in front of the SUV.

"Federal Agent!" he shouted. "Identify yourself!"

A woman in her forties slowly got out of the vehicle. "I don't care who you are. Let's start by putting that weapon away. Just point it down now."

Mulder repeated himself. "I'm a Federal Agent!"

"I heard you the first time. Just let me see some identification." ** Her voice was a calm monotone, and the woman sounded professional, but Mulder didn't want to take any chances.

Mulder led the Game Warden into the building. "Scully?"

Scully raised her badge. "I realize this looks a bit untoward but my life is in danger. And so is my baby's. We're being pursued by an dangerous man, and it's important he not find us here."

"We get hunters in here taking deer and game off-season. I've heard every excuse in the book, but this one's far too original. You don't, uh, plan to have it here?"

"It's not as crazy as it sounds," Mulder replied. "I mean, I hope it's not. She's a doctor; she can coach me."

The Game Warden explained she had a basic first aid kit in her trunk, and that she'd return with towels and proper swaddling. As she left, however, Mulder noticed a suspicious looking bump on her neck and pressed his gun to her back. "Don't bother. Do as I say, and you won't get hurt." His voice was calm and even.

The woman veered around to hit him, but Mulder shot her, and she immediately fell to the floor. He felt for a pulse. "Dead."

"Mulder!? Did you have to do that?"

"Look there... "

"My God, no... Another one?"

"I'm taking her out of the game. You stay in here and don't worry. I have a feeling that barn out there is a good place to put her until we can get through this."

Thankfully, Scully was unaware of what was happening at that moment in Washington. It was almost 3:00 AM.

FBI Parking Garage

Doggett and Reyes were parked in the FBI garage and engrossed in an argument as to just how trustworthy this Knowle Rohrer was.

"How the hell do you know what he says is the truth, and what is a bunch of lies?" Reyes asked angrily. "I bet you're not getting the whole story! First he comes looking for you in desperation, but when you want to talk to him, he's nowhere to be found. I find that an unreliable source, even if he is an ex-Marine."

"I don't know. Maybe he's chickened out. Maybe he's heard something. I don't know if it makes the least bit of difference."

"John, you said he knows how to stop these... super soldiers. Are you saying now you think he's a liar?"

"He is or he isn't. What the hell difference does it make?"

"A big one," Reyes cautioned, "If you want to save Scully and her baby... "

"Krycek. Let's get going!" Doggett shouted. Reyes slammed her door shut.

Krycek's car pulled into the garage and he headed for the next level. There was a passenger in the car.

Doggett floored the accelerator in pursuit. The passenger was Knowle Rohrer. Things could only get worse from then on.

Was Rohrer really Knowle Rohrer? Crane really Agent Crane? For that matter, was Krycek really Krycek? The things that were to transpire in that bulding were nothing in comparison to the miracle that was about to happen in Democrat Springs. One thing was certain about this Alex Krycek: He was the real deal. After everything would come to light, at the end of all things that happened in the Hoover building in that time, one Alex Krycek would end up dead on the pavement, his artificial arm the indicator that he was the real McCoy. No replicant bore that prosthesis.

Democrat Springs

Candles burned as Scully sat next to them and patted her face with a cloth. Mulder brought her more water in a bucket, and she thanked him for that.

He smiled at her, noticing the radiance the expectant mother wore.

"What's that all about?" she asked.

"You just look so... beautiful, Scully. There's something about you that I've never seen in such a powerful way until now. The glow, the serenity... It's very beautiful."

"So what are your insticts, Mulder?"

He looked around the room for a moment. "I don't know... " He donned his jacket and said, "Maybe it's just my normal state of mind, but right now I feel even more paranoid. I'm going to get some more water."

Mulder carried the bucket outside, and noticed that light in the sky again. He was taken aback for a moment, then headed for an old-fashioned pump. It hadn't been paranoia after all. As he began to pump water, Billy Miles grabbed him from behind and threw him against the barn. Mulder drew his gun, shooting Miles in the chest, then began dragging him to the barn where he had previously put the Game Warden.

Scully had heard the shot and went out to see what had happened. She knew the face was that of Billy Miles.

"It's okay, Honey. He's dead. Go inside."



*Okay," Scully thought. *He can be all warm and fuzzy. It isn't everyday Mulder delivers his own child.* What upset her was the thought that Miles could have come all this way, and been killed by Mulder. She wasn't so sure the man was dead. In fact, she wasn't so sure he was alive, either, after all she'd heard in the past couple of years. "I thought he couldn't be stopped!"

"It's okay. Just go inside. Go on."

"It's not okay... "

"What do you mean it's not okay? He... "

"I mean I just felt a contraction."

That statement made it all the more important that this body of Billy Miles' be locked up with that of the Game Warden's.

Mulder rushed back into the building as quickly as possible. "You're sure?"

"Yes," she smiled, with trepidation. "This is it."

"Then, uhh..." Clearly the man was nervous. "You should lie down."

"I have a shirt I want to wear for this... "

"That's okay."

"It's yours, Mulder."

"Sure. Anything. I'll get it for you."

"Thank you. Ohh... Ooohh... And this is just early in the game for one of this magnitude. That was a strong one. Looks like somebody is gonna be a real fighter! You know, the average birth of a first child can take fourteen hours or longer... There's no getting out of this now... "

"This is no average child, Scully. This is our child. Okay. Shirt present and accounted for. Let's... Let's get this show on the road. Did you say fourteen hours or longer?"

As Scully proceeded to pull on the shirt and discard her other clothing, there was another contraction. "Ooo... I need to do some breathing here. Look, Mulder. You need to boil some water, because we'll need to... sterilize... And who knows what happened to me when I was abducted? Maybe this child will be a fast runner, too... "

Mulder nodded. "The basics. Scissors, string and towels."

"You DID read the booklets... Aaaah! Mulder, looks like there's no hope of an epidural here... Please get the water!"

He ran to the door. "Right away! Don't worry!" The bucket. Where was the bucket? Beside the pump. Of course. And he would have to get a fire going to boil water. Boil water for what? The birth. Water to sterilize things for the birth. Was he ready for this? He decided he'd better damn well be ready, because he was also damn sure Scully wasn't going to be stone-faced and stiff upper lipped. He knew they would both have to find strength in each other.

Scully continued to blow off the pain of the contractions for several hours. What was happening there was the only concern for them. No one, and no thing would stop it from happening. It was good they didn't know what Doggett, Reyes and Skinner were going through in Washington those very same hours.

Six hours passed with Scully groaning, alternating with slow, deliberate deep breaths, and the grand game of word association that had seen them through miles of driving during investigations now playing a role in Scully's labor. Every so often, Mulder massaged her back and urged her to relax between contractions.

Mulder looked at his watch. "Eight minutes apart, and from what you instructed me to do... really, Scully! You're going to have to wait a while. You have six centimeters to go before I can officially... "

Authorize me to push. I know. Mulder, I think you need to... keep me focused. Did you ever imagine in your wildest dreams you'd be out in the middle of nowhere delivering this baby?"

"No. God, no. I thought we'd be in a regular maternity ward, playing word association between nurses and doctors checking in on you, and before that, I hadn't dreamed this would even be possible. Word association seems to be the best thing right now."

"Then let's do that. Let's play... Ooooh... Ahhh!! Why the hell can't men ever go through this? Are they too weak!? And don't look so damned smug!" Scully took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Say anything to anyone about what I just yelled and I'll make sure you can't possibly father another child in this lifetime!"



"That's your word association? Surely you can do better than that, Scully Honey?" He was in doubt as to whether that was sufficient charm or excessive paternal overbearance, and realized that it was actually a true representation of his affection for the mother of his child. On the other hand, if she had taken it as teasing, his manhood could be in jeopardy.

*He called me 'Honey'.* That warmed Scully's heart. The rapid change in emotions was to be expected, but she hadn't imagined herself going through them in this way. "Gelding. Castrated horse. Keep going, Mulder. And don't take anything I may say personally." Tears welled up in her eyes, then streamed down her face. "I'm sorry, Mulder. I didn't want to put you through all this... "

Mulder blew out for both of them and accepted the onerous task of being calm for both of them. "That was a seven minute contraction. Okay. Car wash."

"Jim Croce."

"Jim Croce?" Mulder laughed.

"Yeah. One of his songs. 'Workin' At The Carwash Blues'? Can you get me a sip of water?" A small smile crossed her face, as sweat trickled down her neck. "I'm afraid if I laugh I'll feel it full force, but please, take over for me in the joke department."

"Sure." As Mulder handed her a glass, he decided to sterilize the materials he needed for the delivery. "Five minute boil, right Scully?"

"Yes. Thank you for doing this for me. I hope I have longer than five minutes, because the water hasn't broken yet. I may need you to break it to speed things along."

"Oh... " Mulder felt absolutely frantic inside, and took a deep breath, hoping Scully wouldn't notice his fear. Once again, he put his head on her abdomen, and this time she held it there. "Now listen, little one. You take your time or hurry it up, but don't be so hard on your mother and father. I'm right here to meet you, and you're going to arrive when you're supposed to arrive, in the order that the labor books your mother and I read described. Got that? And I can't wait to see you!"

Scully laughed. "Mulder, I don't think he or she read those through my belly, and I'm fairly sure he or she didn't hear me say any of the details aloud."

"Well, laugh! Go ahead, laugh. I know this kid is smart!" Mulder stood and supervised the pot of hot water. "A couple more minutes, but I'd leave them until we need them."

"Wise decision. Okay... suspenders... "

"The Office of Professional Conduct, because they threatened to suspend us. I'll give you one... "

"Oh my God! Ooohhh... I think you'd better check, Mulder! And I mean NOW! I think that contraction was big enough to blow down the Empire State Building... "

"Okay. Breathe and blow it off. Do not push... Let me wash my hands here... "

"Well HURRY!" The pains were becoming more frequent and with a greater urgency. "Aaaaagh! PLEASE HURRY!!!"

"Coming. Don't worry." As Mulder ran back to Scully's side, her water broke. "How are you doing?"

"I'm so sorry. I really am... " Scully began to cry. "My water broke, you're here to help me with your baby, and I'm yelling... "

"Hey. You yell. Congratulations! Welcome to the human race. Hey! You're fully dilated. I know you'll want to push, but we have to... "

"I READ The BOOK and I'M The DOCTOR HERE ANYWAY!" Scully screamed, then alternately apologized. "Sorry. I really am sorry. I know... oh my God... we have to make sure the cord isn't wrapped around it's neck, that the baby isn't breech, shoulder first, or stuck. And I don't know it all, Mulder. I'm just as much in the dark as you are, even if I did deliver the baby in Florida. This isn't something I've done before."

"We're both scared, Scully, and that's perfectly normal. You can do this. I can do this. You're about five minutes between contractions." He mopped her forehead with a cool cloth.


"Make that three minutes... Let me just check here... I feel what seems to be a head, but not crowning just yet. Don't worry. I'm right here, Honey. And when you get that next urge to push, do it just until I can see the head. I have to make sure the cord isn't wrapped around the neck."

"Okay. I need to get a few deep breaths here. My mouth's dry... "

Mulder held the water glass up to her lips. "Just sip, okay? I need to get my instruments."

"OkayyyyyyyyyEEEEE! AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh... I need to push!"

He put the glass aside and knelt between Scully's knees. "Okay... Blow it off. All right! Push! Almost there. Breathe. Push again... "

As he uttered those words, several people, including the Game Warden and Billy Miles, appeared in the doorway. "THIS IS MY BABY! It's MY baby! DON'T... DON'T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME! DON'T... "

"Ignore them. Think of the baby and picture it coming down. I'm here." Mulder surprised even himself with the calm that overtook him. It was as if all that crisis training at the Academy had prepared him to deal with anything that came his way.

All stood there in silence, awaiting the birth of the child.

"Push, Honey. Push!"

"Ahhhhh! Ooohhhhh.... ARGGHHH... I don't care WHAT or WHO you are, or WHAT or WHO you see MY BABY as! I AM KEEPING THIS BABY!" Scully clenched her teeth hard as the urge to push grew stronger. She was now experiencing the 'rim of fire' she had heard of: That burning pain at the end of the birth canal which meant only one thing -- the baby's head was coming out, and there was nothing for her to do but push with all her might.

Mulder grabbed the scissors and string. "Breathe, and push... That's good... Looks like the cord's not wrapped... push... PUSH!" He readied a couple of sheets at the end of the bed.

At that moment, helicopters were landing, with Doggett and Reyes emerging and running into the area. Police cars and FBI agents also gathered near the healing center, as a small cry went out for all to hear.

Mulder beamed as he carefully wrapped the baby and handed it to Scully. "It's a boy. We have a son!" Tears of joy ran down his cheeks. "He's perfect."

Scully smiled and gazed at the baby in adoration. "Hello, you! And thank you," she told Mulder. "Thank you for everyting."

Outside, Doggett could be heard yelling that there was a woman needing medical attention, and all the on-lookers, Billy Miles and the Game Warden, moved away from the area.

Perhaps this child wasn't such a messiah or threat to them after all.

Scully's Apartment
Two Days Later

Doggett and Reyes, armed with presents, knocked on Scully's door, then let themselves in when they realized it was unlocked.

Inside were The Lone Gunmen, marvelling at the newborn. Mulder was at Scully's side, and he was wearing a coat.

"How is everybody?"

"It's a miracle," Frohike declared. That's our cue to leave. Get some rest!" He, Langly and Byers passed the agents on the way out. Frohike stopped and asked, "How did you know where to find them?"

"We saw a light," Doggett answered. "We followed it."

"That's our headline," Langly said with a smile.

"I'm wondering," Frohike said. "Why did they go all the way out there, then just leave?"

"Maybe he wasn't what they were looking for," Mulder replied.

After the Gunmen had left, Mulder turned to Doggett and Reyes. "I need another minute with Scully, if you don't mind... "

"Sure," Reyes said with a gleam in her eye. "We'll just leave these for you, and we have to get back to the office. John?"

"We have a bone to pick with Kersh," Doggett added.

Mulder said his tender good bye to Scully knowing one thing for certain: This was one event no one could ever take away from them. He would see to that. Even if it meant leaving mother and child for a while, there was still a major truth yet to be found. It was bigger than the disappearance of his sister, and somehow this child was part of a bigger plan.


Dedication: To the person who requested this type of story. It was a pleasure to write, and I am sorry it took so long. My internet service has been temporarily discontinued for financial reasons.

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