Title: An Explanation 
Author: Gibber 
Feedback: Yes I would love it all- good, bad or indifferent:
gibber84@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13. Some moderate language 
Category: Mulder/Scully romance 
Spoilers: An Emi, All things 
Archive: Anywhere, just tell me please. 
Disclaimer: Not mine, any of it. All Chris Carter's and those other
good peoples'.
Summary: One of many possible explanations to how Scully gets
pregnant. Written before I knew that she did in the show. !

Authors notes: This is only my second fan-fic so be gentle. The other
one is under the name Gemma if any wants to read it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I feel tired, really tired and there is an incessant aching in my
head and my stomach is churning and I have already been sick twice
today and even though I'm a medical doctor I still can't figure out
what is wrong. So I do what all proud doctors hate to do, I pick up
the phone and make an appointment with my GP but as I am flicking
through my diary, to find a suitable day, I notice the little P in
the corner of the page for two weeks ago. "Erm... do you mind if I
ring back in a moment." I say rather breathlessly to the confused
receptionist and then I put the phone down without another word.

I stare at the page for minutes longer. "Pregnant." I whisper but I
realize I am in the office and immediately look around me for Mulder.
God how could it be and how could I be so blind to the symptoms,
morning sickness, tiredness, headaches and I have been eating like a
pig but how on earth could I miss the biggest indicator, my lack of a
period. Then my head clears and I realize it just isn't possible. I
can't conceive, I have known for years. I smile at myself for being
so stupid. There could be so many reasons for those symptoms, none
spring to mind but I am sure there are many. I pick up the phone
again and press the redial button. "Hi its Dana Scully, I just
called. I would like to make an appointment..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Luckily they manage to get me an appointment today; I would have to
think of a good excuse to tell Mulder because if he knew I was sick
he would just worry. I smiled again at my thoughts early today but my
smile fades as I think how much I would have liked it.

 I tell Mulder that I have some things to pick up and I won't be long
but he is suspicious and asks me how I am before I leave. I assure
him that I am fine; just a little tired and then hurry off to the
surgery. It is only a short walk to the practice from the office and
I am there before I realize.

My GP is an old friend from med. School; not a close friend but I
only have one of those nowadays. We run through the usual "It's been
too long" and "let's do lunch." before she takes samples. She knows I
can't have children and isn't careless enough to bring up pregnancy
which is a small relief. "Because of your somewhat serious medical
history, I am going to put your samples in the express pile so the
results will be back about four." She says gentle. "I am sure that it
has nothing to do with that but its better to be safe." She smiles
reassuringly. It's strange how no one can bring themselves to say
cancer. I hadn't even really considered it as an option. Everything
has been so rushed recently that I haven't thought much about it. I'm
trying not to, always trying not to think about it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back at the office I settle down in my chair. Mulder is nowhere to
be found and I'm tired so I just sit for a little while feigning
alertness until I gradually feel myself falling asleep and I am
powerless to stop it.

I wake with a start; Mulder dropped a case file or something and it
hit the floor with a thud bringing me out of my dreams. Mulder has
realized I'm awake and he says gently, "Hey sleepy, You were out for
the count. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You should have woken me early Mulder." I say equally gentle with a
smile and then I notice that he had wrapped a blanket around me and I
remember again exactly why I'm completely in love with this man. The
image of Mulder tip toeing around all afternoon while I rest
peacefully is too much to bear and I smile brightly.

"Are you still going to tell me that you're just a little tired?" He
prods amiably. "Come on Scully, what's the matter?" I look at him for
a moment and I remember suddenly the sample; I have to go and get the
results. I look at my watch and notice it five past four already. I
am up and at the door in a second and if it weren't for the need to
make an excuse to Mulder I would have been gone.

"I have to check on something Mulder." I say breathlessly. "I'll be
back in ten minutes, okay?" then I turn to leave but he catches my
arm.

"Scully." He looks hurt. Shit. "I wanna talk about this. What's the
matter just tell me."

I hate doing this to him. He looks like a little puppy dog but I
still wriggle out of his grip and call out. "Ten minutes." I know its
not fair but he's done it to me countless times and I do really have
to go.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sit with the results outside the FBI building. They are still
sealed in the envelope and I don't know why but I can't bring myself
to open them. Maybe it's the fear of going through the hell I went
through two years ago or maybe it the fact that when I open this
little white envelope I have to stop hoping that I'm pregnant and
deal with an illness instead. Oh I know I've know all along that it
isn't possible, I can't have children, but there was always some
glimmer of hope before and I know that when I open this it will fade.

I open it carefully and unfold the paper. Shit. Oh God, I am
pregnant. There must be a mistake; I must have the wrong results. I
look at the name on the top of the page, its mine; maybe the samples
got mixed up or something. I hurry inside the building and go
straight towards the labs. I have a forensic pass and have access to
any equipment I desire. This, I think, is the only way to know for
sure, to disprove what the surgery told me.

I try and look as inconspicuous as possible as I sneak my sample back
into the lab to test but there is no real need as people expect me to
behave strangely. It is one of the few good things that working on
The X files allows me. I have written some false details on the cup,
it is unusual to do pregnancy test in the lab, as there is generally
very little need for them in the FBI's line of work but again due to
mine and Mulder's investigations no one will think it strange. I have
always drawn a vale of secrecy around any illness I have had but this
time more so than ever. Partly because if any one knew this test was
for me then rumors would be uncontrollable about me and Mulder but
also because of last time. Everyone knew about my cancer and I hated
the way they looked at me and thought about me, like I was some freak
on show to the masses. I needed my privacy then and I need it more so
this time.

My thoughts had momentarily distracted me from the test I was doing.
Everything was complete now but the waiting, you must wait I few
minutes for the results to become apparent and those few moments are
the longest ever. I don't like waiting most of the time; little
things irritate me, having to wait for my computer to load up or for
Mulder to get his ass out of the house when I'm ready but those
feelings of impatience have been multiplied by a hundred and I have
physically stop my foot from tapping and my fingers from dancing.

It's ready, I know it's ready because the time is up but I don't want
to look. This will shatter something that I want more than anything
in the world, it is my gateway to a normalish life, my one remaining
dream and to look is to stop the hope and deal with reality. I look
and to my absolute shock, it confirms exactly what the surgery said,
I am pregnant.

It isn't possible I tell myself but then I realize that for the past
seven years I have been dealing with the impossible and the extreme
and maybe, by now, I should just roll with the punches. A montage of
thoughts rush through my brain. I can't deal with 'how' right now but
what am I going to tell Mulder and my family and the FBI for that
matter spring to the foreground. Mulder, god Mulder, I forgot. "Ten
minutes." I said to him; it's been nearly an hour.

I hurry back towards to office but on the way I realize I have
nothing to tell him, or I have too much to tell him and I have no
where to start. I need to go home and sought this out in my head
before I even start with Mulder.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I managed to escape talking to Mulder now but had to promise that he
could come over tonight and we would talk about everything. He may
not want to know about everything when he does know it but at the
moment he is blissfully unaware and so is hungry for the information,
typical Mulder.

I am at my door and the familiar warm feeling floods through me as I
open it. I love my apartment; maybe because it is normal, it is my
refuge from the strange things that happen to me outside. I drop my
keys on the table, look at my answering machine, no messages. It is
possible thirty seconds before I realize I am not alone. Not Mulder
as I had dreaded on the way over here, no it is the smoking Son of a
Bitch. "Get out. " I say even though I know he will stay as long as
he wishes and he will tell me want he wants to tell me. The phrase
'Resistance is Futile' springs to mind.

"I think you will want to hear what I have to say agent Scully." He
lights up as he speaks. I have grown far to use to that after our
little road trip together when he said he had quit.

"Why? So I can see more of the American countryside when you lead me
on another pointless road trip." My voice begins to rise. How dare he
invade my space?

"That trip was far from pointless as you will soon discover or all
ready have." He looks at me smugly.

"Maybe not pointless for you, you bastard, but what did I get out of
it? Where's the disk you promised?" I'm angry now and I shout freely.

"I have given you more than you know evidently. Although I am
surprised that you haven't figured it out yet. The sickness and being
tired all the time. I would have expected some one like yourself to
have realized."

It hits me like a bolt. He is the 'how'. My hand moves instinctively
to my stomach, as if to protect the unborn child. He realizes
immediately from the look on my face and the gesture that I do know
what he is talking about. "Aren't you going to thank me?" He smiles
brightly but even that has the look of the devil in it.

More thoughts come tumbling into my head. Is it human or like Emily?
Who is the father and chiefly why? These thoughts must have been
voiced although I cannot remember, but he begins to talk and I listen
intently.

"It is your child, from your eggs, so it has all the chance of being
healthy as any other. The father, well, that is something only you
and he know but I imagine it to be Mulder. I thought that the
relationship between you and him was likely to escalate soon which
brings me to the why," Mulder is the father of my child. This is too
much and I fall more than sit on the sofa. He continues, "All my life
I have destroyed life and created only evil. From you I have taken
your ability to create and in my later life, as I approach my own
end, I have realized that you of all people should have been spared
this. You were tangled in a fight that was not your own and although
you adopted it the casualties you bore were too severe. So I have
tried to right my wrong and also I realized that there would be no
one to continue in the family business." I am stunned, the man who I
hate the most in the world has given me the thing I want the most in
the world and to finish it off he is my
child's Grandfather. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It is a blur from when Cancer Man left and Mulder arrived. I don't
even remember letting Mulder in but he is here sitting on my couch
with a look in his eyes that lets me know that he will start firing
question at me any minute. Then his thoughts are suddenly interrupted
by something; he is sniffing the air.

"Have you start smoking Scully?" He looks at me with a smile in his
eyes but its fake, he knows who has been here as well as I do.

"I just got a visit from our smoking friend." I say as I fidget
nervously on the spot. How do you tell someone they are the father of
your child when they are sure that you are infertile? It is still
hard for me to digest but I have carried out test and had it
confirmed.

Mulder and me slept together once, right after that thing with
Daniel. I needed comfort, I needed Mulder and he was there. I decide
that I didn't need him as much in the morning and although it hurt
him and me I still need that barrier. It is not because of work or
how those bastards use me but because he is my best friend, my only
friend and to lose him over sex would be too much. I told him I
needed time and that I wanted to take it very slowly, so that is what
we have been doing. You would think after seven years I would have
had enough time but I still don't feel completely secure that it
won't ruin everything we have.

"Friend, Scully?" He says sarcastically but I can see all the wounds
that that man has caused open up in Mulder.

"Maybe." He looks alarmed, shocked and about ready to slap me and
call for a psychiatrist. He is about to speak but I stop him with a
look. "I went to Doctor today Mulder." Again he wants to talk but I
just glare. "That's what all the secrecy was about. I wanted to know
if anything was up before I told you."

"And is there? Are you all right? It's not cancer. If that is why
that bastard was here I will kill him Scully." His eyes are brimming
with tears and his voice is cracking. I know this man loves me.

I smile at him and tears begin to form in my own eyes. "No Mulder.
That's not it and maybe now you can see why I didn't say anything."
He starts to talk. "Don't Mulder. I know everything you are about to
ask so just let me speak." He seems satisfied but eager. "I went to
see the doctor," I repeated, "and because I didn't know what was
wrong I had some tests done. These tests concluded something that I
didn't believe was possible. Mulder I'm pregnant." I close my eyes
and hold my breath; I have no idea how he will react but his arms are
around me in seconds and I know everything is okay.

"That's fantastic Scully but are you sure and how?" He smiles at me
brightly, his arms still around my waist.

"My first thoughts were the same and so I did a second test myself
and the results confirmed it. I still couldn't believe it, so on the
way home I bought a few home tests but when I arrived he was here.
Mulder this is down to him. That road trip we took had nothing to do
with the disk, it was just a façade to get me to go, really this is
he wanted to do."

Mulder looked confused, "But why would he do this? He is the one who
removed your ability to conceive, why would he give you a child now."

"He said that he thought what I have suffered during my work on The X
Files was too severe. That I didn't deserve to lose what I have."
Tears are rolling down my face. I want Mulder to kiss them away, and
he does. "And he wants a Grandchild." I say through sniffles. I know
it will soon dawn on Mulder.

"What?" He needs me to confirm it.

"Yes Mulder. You're the father." I giggle at the look on his face. 

"I'm the father but..." He is so shocked I have to laugh. "Scully we
only ever ... once." He smiles. "I'm the father." He says as he
kisses my cheek.

I don't want to push Mulder into this. Both of us thought I was
infertile he doesn't really have any real responsibility to me but I
want to keep the child. "Mulder I want this child but I don't expect
anything from you. You can get out now if you want to." A frown
appears on his face. "Don't feel pressured into this."

"Scully." He is smiling again. God I love that. "I want this as much
as you do. I want to be part of my child's life," he looks at me
seriously. "And yours if you will let me." His lips are on mine and I
realize exactly what he means. He kisses me softly but every part of
my body is responding and I slip my arms around his neck to deepen
it. I could stand like this all day. He breaks away, "Please say this
is all the security you need Scully."

He kisses me again. I think this is what I needed. "Yes Mulder. This
is enough security." I smile as I say it.

"I can give you more if you want it." I look happily puzzled. "Marry
me, Scully?" He whispers clearing away any confusion. "I think that
that might be to much Mulder." His face drops. I don't want to hurt
him so I try and explain. "I want you to understand that I love you
Mulder, but I think getting married now would be to much too soon."
He still looks glum. "I need to be sure that we make that commitment
for the right reasons, not just because I'm pregnant. Do you see what
I mean?" I say as gently as possible.

He nods slowly. "I can see that Scully but," His voice drops to a
slight whisper, "I have wanted to marry you since I met you and I
don't mind waiting as long as it takes you to see that." He kisses me
on the forehead as tears form in my eyes.

I grab him tighter and murmur into his ear. "I won't make you wait to
long. I promise." His lips are on mine and for the moment I truly
believe that all the demons we fight and the problems we face will
never bother me again.	

 The End

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Author's End Note:  I started wondering after An Emi what the purpose
of the trip really was and also whether Scully would have fallen
asleep long enough, and deep enough, for her arch enemy to get her
from the car to the bedroom and undressed.

This was mostly written before I knew Scully got pregnant. This is
one way it could have happened, I'm sure it's different from the
shows. Because it was thought up before hand it doesn't fit in with
the events that happen in Requiem.


Bit of a sappy ending but I have been writing this for a month and I
wanted it finished.

Hoped you liked it!!

Gibber