Title: Almost	
Author: Cherie710
E-Mail: (cher710@eudoramail.com)
Rating: G or PG?
Archive: Anywhere! Just tell me.
Spoilers: The Truth, especially the end scene.
Category: MSR, light angst, quasi-songfic
Disclaimer: M&S are not mine, same thing goes for all the 
other characters of The X-Files. Don't sue. Plus, the 
song "I Could Not Ask For More" was sung by Edwin McCain.
Feedback: Good Feedback only please.
Authors note: This is my third attempt at fanfic, so please 
bear with me. I haven't really watched the entire episode 
since I'm from another country. But seeing the video clips, 
I really loved the end scene. I added something though. 
Just a small alteration for the much loved end scene. I 
love the "bed scene". It's almost perfect. Almost.

Summary: Lying here with you..I Could Not Ask For More

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

-=- Lying here with you....smiling just too see the smile 
upon your face -=-

I stare into her droopy eyes as we lay in bed. My hand 
protectively wrapped around her. As I feel the warmth of 
her silk robe, I feel safe and secured. She is very tired 
and sleepy, I know, for I too feel the same. But she does 
not close her eyes. 

I remember one night almost the same as this. Me, telling 
the story of my life. She, just lying in bed listening to 
me with all her heart. Nine years, comrades. Nine long 
years later and we end up here, together. Together, that's 
now my favorite word in the English dictionary. 

-=- These are the moments I thank God thatt I'm Alive, These 
are the moments I'll remember all my life -=-

She brings her head closer to mine, and I rub her back 
gently. She runs her finger on my forearm. She breathes 
sweet "missed you" and "love you so much" to my face, then 
closes her eyes. I lean in closer if it's even possible 
due to the already closing proximity. I kiss her. She 
responds. We share a chaste kiss.

If I had the power to trap this moment and seal it in an 
unbreakable glass container and store it in the heavens for 
"future reference", I will. But I know this is just a 
passing moment. It'll end. Maybe later. Maybe sooner. 
Someone once told us to take a picture for it'll last 
longer. If things were just that simple. But I only hope 
this is not the only moment I shall wish to preserve. 

-=- I found all I've waited for, and I couuld not ask for 
more -=-

The chaste kiss is over, but it seems that our souls are 
still connected from that. We both open our eyes slowly. 
She smiles. She nuzzles my cheek with her nose and moves 
closer still. One more move, I think, and we'll be 
permanently connected. Not that I'm complaining.

-=- I could not ask for more than this timme together, 
I could not ask for more than this time with you. -=-

She once again whispers a heartfelt vow. Her eyes are 
closed now. She thinks mine are too. But they are 
slightly opened, as though faintly ajar windows looking out 
at the most perfect view mankind has ever beheld. I have 
memorized her face. Every line, every curve. Every 
freckle, every bit of her. I silently wonder what I have 
done to deserve this time with her. With all the things I 
did wrong, with everything I messed up, surely, there must 
have been a single instance which proved I had a right to 
be loved and to love with every fabric of my humanity. 

She must have sensed that I was "slightly" watching her. 
She opened her eyes, her big blue questioning eyes.

"Is there something wrong, Mulder?"

"Nothing," I reply.

She closes her eyes for a bit, looking a bit sad. I lift 
my free hand and begin to trace the outline of her face. 
Her forehead, to her chin. I cleared my throat, then 
spoke..

-=- Every prayer has been answered, every  dream has come 
true -=-

"Just this moment, Dana,"
She looks up. Staring at my soul. It seems as though she 
is painfully awaiting the next lines I will utter, achingly 
dreading a "but" somewhere.

"Lying here with you. Not worrying whether someone from 
the bureau will find out and split us apart. Holding you 
in my arms. Listening to your breathing, staring into your 
eyes. Stripping me off of every doubt that I am alone and 
unloved. This moment, this moment is..almost perfect."

Her downcast eyes quickly looked up to mine. She slowly 
disentangled herself from me. Worried, I sat up. I barely 
noticed her movements and I was surprised to find her 
sitting on the bed with her back already turned against me.

"Dana? What is it? Did I say anything wrong?"

"No, Mulder. You said everything right?"

With the tone of her voice, I felt the fear and the 
loneliness. We both knew what was wrong. Even when I said 
those words, I perfectly knew what I had in mind. But I 
said those words because they were the truth. 

"Dana," I began. But she raised a shaking hand and said, 
"Almost Perfect, Mulder. Almost. There's nothing I want 
more than to have William lying here between us. To hear 
him gurgle and make all those baby sounds that sounded as 
though he were calling your name. To have him with us."

She's crying now. I move closer, but she suddenly lies 
down in bed again. She was staring at the ceiling, as 
though she can see our son there. I lay back down again, 
but my head was resting on my palm, propped up on an elbow. 
I look at her. I did not mean to bring this pain upon her.

I was brewing yet another safe apology when she took my 
hand and rested it on her belly.

"I had no choice, Mulder. He deserves better than what I 
can give him, better than what *we* can give him. He's the 
most precious gift and it breaks my heart to even think 
that he'll live a life of worry, a life on the run. I 
wanted him to have a normal life, Mulder. He deserves it. 
He needs to be happy, and if it costs me my personal bliss, 
then so be it."

I was stroking her stomach gently. I nodded in agreement. 
I wanted so much to have William with us. But I 
understand, I do really. Having him with us is pure bliss, 
but the thought of dragging him on this fight against the 
future, the thought of having him suffer because of the 
nature of life Dana and I have gotten ourselves into, the 
thought just sickens me. I'd rather have him enjoy every 
bit of normalcy with loving foster parents, than have him 
tag along in such a dangerous race. 

"I don't blame you, Dana. I never did. I was hurt, very 
hurt, but I never got mad at you. I never blamed you. Not 
one bit."

She looks at me this time. I take away my hand from her 
belly and stroke her face. With tears in her eyes, she 
says, "Thank you."

"Thank you back." I smile. She smiles.

-=- Right here in this moment is where I'mm meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me -=-

WE were back to our "snuggling" position. This time it was 
I who nuzzled her cheek with my nose. She smiles again. A 
smile that is sincerely heartfelt. A smile which tells me 
she is happy.

I was surprised to hear her say, "I want him back, Mulder. 
No matter what, no matter when, no matter where. I *need* 
him back."

I kiss her again.

"Someday, Dana. Someday soon. I promise you. We'll find 
a way to bring him back. We'll bring him back. We will."

A promise both of us will neither break. A promise that 
will everyday be remembered.

With the even breaths I heard, I knew my Dana had fallen 
asleep in the safety of my arms. Everything really is 
almost perfect. And there's nothing wrong with that.

This moment, I wish we had William with us. Of course I 
do. We both will be wishing our son is with us till the 
day he finally is.

But aside from that, and right here in this moment, I Could 
Not Ask for More.


End.


http://www.mulderscreek.com/nurseryfiles.html